Archive for February, 2009
I was expecting Zombie Simpsons to get picked up for another season; epguides.com already has episodes listed for next fall and since each craptacular one supposedly takes a whole year to produce it stood to reason that Season 21 was a forgone conclusion. But the news yesterday that they were being picked up for two more seasons was like a second, unexpected, football in the groin. According to some of those links this will push them to 493 episodes. 493! Of which less than a third are actually up to snuff.
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Though it was my favorite show as a kid, by the time I turned 12 or 13 I discovered that the “Simpsons” were best viewed in reruns. The “Simpsons” has declined so much since then that it has unwittingly justified the decision of every other show that decided to go out on a high note.
When The Simpsons started going downhill, one of the most noticeable changes was the way jokes would be stretched. Instead of moving on from a funny line or exchange, the show would milk it for screen time. The examples of this over the years are far too numerous to catalog, but here’s one anyway.
I do not know anything about Don Payne, who is credited, if that is the right word, as the main writer of last week’s flash-back, conspiracy theory, magic tomato sauce mess. He might be a great guy; he might be an asshole. I don’t have an opinion either way, nor do I care. I do know that on his IMDb page he is credited, if that is the right word, with having written My Super Ex-Girlfriend and Fantastic Four 2. I’ve never seen the former, though I’ve heard bad things, but the Silver Surfer movie was unwatchable. Mad Jon and I got through it with a very big assist from Rifftrax, but even with Nelson, Murphy and Corbett we came close to just turning it off several times. It is that bad. Embedding was disabled on YouTube, so if you want to torture yourself, go here and click “Watch Sample” to see some of what you’re not missing.
Though film remains his passion, he loves being a part of the “Simpsons” universe. Besides, it can’t last that much longer, right?
“Right now I’m thinking, eh, two more years,” Payne said. “But who knows?”
While I’m amused at the absurdity of the situation, I also take issue with the implication that Homer has always been, well, a complete idiot. Classic Homer was certainly prone to acts of questionable intelligence, but he would never intentionally inflict cartoonish acts of violence upon himself. These sorts of shenanigans and cheap gags are almost exclusively the domain of Zombie Homer, the creation of writers who are more interested in one-dimensional filler instead of something truly clever and worthy of the show. That the past twelve seasons of Zombie Simpsons are now representative of The Simpsons proper to general public is a sad development.
Getting rid of Zombie Simpsons isn’t a selfish act that only true Simpsons fans can appreciate; indeed, society will be a better place for losing this nonsense. In the meantime, we have this to learn from Hodgkinson’s shining example: don’t do what Zombie Simpsons does.
(via The Telegraph)
Here is another way in which Zombie Simpsons is damaging our world. The “Ukrainian State Commission of Morals” (motto: Drinking Vodka and Pissing off Russia since 2004!) has declared that The Simpsons violates moral principals and shouldn’t be shown in the Ukrainian equivalent of primetime:
Vasyl Kostytskiy, head of the Commission of Morals, explained that members were analyzing “The Simpsons” at the request of two governmental bodies (the prosecutor’s office and National Television and Radio Broadcasting Council). Their task was to check the show’s compliance with the nation’s morals law.
“Our conclusion regarding ‘The Simpsons’ said that there was no violation of law on the protection of morals, but our expert believes that the time frame should be taken into account when demonstrating.” Kostytskiy said, pointing out that 400 episodes of the cartoon “were under investigation in many countries.”
Showing Simpsons to Ukrainian children is, obviously, a good idea. They’ll learn how to properly mock authority, not take things too seriously, and generally see the humor in life. But what about Zombie Simpsons? Let’s face it, Zombie Simpsons isn’t going to teach anyone anything other than that mediocrity is acceptable and you can slouch through life so long as your paymasters get theirs. That kind of message only encourages thoughtless authoritarianism.