“Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor? Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys. Nature started the fight for survival and now she wants to quit because she’s losing? Well, I say: hard cheese.” – C.M. Burns
Earth Day was this week, which means perfunctory environmentalism from large corporations whose executives basically agree with the above statement. We’ve also got numerous examples of good-to-excellent usage and a fellow blogger who’s seen the light and thinks the show needs to end.
Green Tips From ‘The Simpsons’ Family – Television networks are now morally obligated to pretend to care about the environment, not do anything mind you, but at least put up the appearance of doing something. As a result, somewhere a guy in a suit said something like, “Find me the cheapest way to look like we care, use the word ‘green’.” The result? Cheap, slapped together promos for Zombie Simpsons that, in what I’m sure is an unintentionally ironic move, use plenty of recycled footage.
D’oh! It’s the Bichons – Some family in New Zealand dressed up their dogs like the Simpson family. It’s just as thrilling as it sounds and I’m sure the dogs enjoyed it.
Evolution of TV mothers – This is about different types of TV Moms, citing Marge as the “Functional Mom in a Dysfunctional Family”, but the only other two examples in that category are Lois Griffin and Peg Bundy, so wouldn’t a more appropriate heading be “Fox TV Moms”?
Research and Markets: Global Animation Industry: Strategies, Trends and Opportunities 2009 Contains Timely Data on One of the Fastest Growing Industries Today - Would you pay some ditzy consulting firm to tell you about cartoons? Me neither.
Odell Brewing offering up sweet tweets – If you’re combining beer and Twitter, why not cite Homer Simpson? You can vote on new beer flavors and if you live in Fort Collins, CO there’s even a party you can go to at the end of next month. Mmmm, micro-beer.
Homer Simpson will protect your food from you – From the annals of dumb shit merchandise, I give you a plastic Homer to sit in your fridge and criticize you for opening it. This is supposed to shame you into eating less. In other dumb shit merchandising news, Homer can also . . .
Daily Crest picks Homer for new Friji flavour – . . . help you get fat with a cookie-dough flavored milkshake to go. The lesson? Whether you want to lose weight or taste something great, you’ve got to pay the freight. (That almost rhymes!)
RSVP Round 2 - The St. Louis Blues may have gotten swept by Vancouver, but that doesn’t mean you can’t compare their coach to Ned Flanders.
Too much idle time at the Statehouse? - Iowans sure do like their letters to the editor. But this guy, unlike the woman who thinks Frank Sinatra is a positive role model for kids, seems to have a valid point; a state legislator, Rod Roberts, is trying to make a floating bar near his condo illegal:
Roberts owns a condo near the bar and is a self-described evangelical Christian, so this boils down to a neighborhood dispute that has found its way to the Capitol because the “Ned Flanders” in the dispute happens to be a state legislator.
Brian Vakulskas of Sioux City, we at the Dead Homer Society salute you and your defense of aquatic alcohol consumption.
Movie Reviews: Alien Trespass, Paris 36, Sugar - A movie called “C Me Dance” about a Christian who fights the devil with the power of, you guessed it, dance came out a few weeks ago. As of this writing the movie is sporting a 1.4 on IMDB (on 65 votes) and a flat 0.0 on Rotten Tomatoes. Sure those numbers look bad, but the LA Weekly does those one better:
C Me Dance plays like a fake Christian movie Troy McClure might end up starring in on an episode of The Simpsons, though it’s apparently for real.
I always thought fiddles and donuts were the preferred method of devil fighting. (via)
The torture story – This is about America torturing the shit out of people (woo Bush the Younger!), but it rates a mention here because commenter Jonathan D, while screwing up the quote slightly, cites Homer effectively.
Canning solves slow food prep dilemma – Jonathan D got a B for his usage, but Mary Keller of Wyoming’s Cody Enterprise gets an A+ by not only getting the quote right, “Isn’t there anything faster than a microwave?”, but also having it make perfect sense in context.
Draft inflation has turned top pick into a curse – Speaking of proper, in context usage the Detroit Free Press‘s Michael Rosenberg, writing at foxsports.com, refers to the Lions as “the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.” That’s about right.
Best of Fourum – Kansas State’s campus paper has a free form section called the Fourum, the link is to some of the best of it and this also gets an A for usage:
“Dear Fourum, I own your soul. Love, John.”
:: No, John, you don’t. I sold it to Milhouse for $5 and spent that on some inflatable sponges.
If you love something…let it go. – Elsewhere in the Sunflower State, last week’s Zombie Simpsons caused one young man to finally come to a painful conclusion:
Some have said that the time for you to go was long ago, and maybe they were right all along. I wanted to return to our former glory so badly that I overlooked so many negative signs in the recent times. Maybe we’ve both been ignoring the writing on the wall, but this ends today…
It is time for The Simpsons to be cancelled.
Yes it is, welcome to the fold.