Archive for May, 2009

31
May
09

Quote of the Day

waltwhitman

“Damn you, Walt Whitman! I! Hate! You! Walt! Freaking! Whitman! ‘Leaves of Grass,’ my ass!” – Homer Simpson

(Happy 117th birthday, Walt.)

30
May
09

Stanley Cup Finals: Go Red Wings

Lisa on Ice1

Playoff hockey works exceptionally well on television: it’s extremely fast, psychotically violent and, especially in a tight game, every possession is terrifying and exhilarating.  Mad Jon and I just watched “Lisa on Ice” to get ourselves in the proper mindset.  Now, it’s game time.

Go Red Wings.

Update: Wings win 3-1.  No tie games, no need to tear this place apart.

30
May
09

Quote of the Day

Space ants

“Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we’ve just lost the picture, but, uh, what we’ve seen speaks for itself.  The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over – ‘conquered,’ if you will, by a master race of giant space ants.  It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men or merely enslave them.  One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here.  And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.  I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.” – Kent Brockman

29
May
09

Friday Link Dump – Scotland and Nitpicking Edition

Bart's Girlfriend3

“Now the kilt was only for day to day wear.  In battle, we donned a full length ball gown covered in sequins.  The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury.” – Groundskeeper Willie

There’s one example of great usage this week and then several that need help (though I probably over did it).  Also there’s a history of homosexual characters on television, video game legalese, a new non-Simpsons blog with a Simpsons title and two posts about Scotland.  

Out an On Air – A history of gay and lesbian portrayals on television that mentions The Simpsons but doesn’t mention Smithers.  Sure Smithers is Narnia-deep in the closet, but as early as Season 2 (1990-1991) it’s pretty clear that he’s gay.  I’ve always thought the show doesn’t get enough credit for that.  As hard as it can be to remember now, back then even an openly closeted character like Smithers was forbidden on US television.  

French tops in OECD for eating and sleeping – The Vancouver Sun gets a gold star for excellent usage, the quote is correct and it’s very apt.  

We’re a cartoon in the making – A newspaper columnist in Windsor, ON uses copious Simpsons references to explain his screwed up town.  Nice. 

LGJ: A case of tortious interference – Tortious interference is when you get someone else to renege on a contract they have with a third party, it’s explained here with a fictional Lisa Simpson video game, but why did they make the fake box for the PS2?  

Study: DRM turns normal people into pirates out of necessity – Have you illegally copied things?  Probably.  I’ve copied all my Simpsons DVDs to my computer.  Was that illegal?  Probably.  Do I give a shit?  Hell no.

Best Mother/Daughter Duos On TV – Lisa and Marge make the cut.  I have no basis for comparison here because I think I’ve seen a combined 37 seconds of the other four shows mentioned, “Gossip Girl”, “Desperate Housewives” “Brothers & Sisters”, and “Medium”. 

The Art of Opening Credits – I too liked the opening of The Simpsons Movie, particularly the Itchy & Scratchy part.  

Connecticut Film Festival coming to Danbury – Live in or near Danbury Connecticut?  Want to see Mike Reiss speak?  

Cheney vs. Lisa Simpson – A Daily Kos diarist uses Lisa’s famous tiger repelling rock to make fun of Dick Cheney.  No gold star for usage, however, as the copied transcript is incorrect in a couple of small ways.  I searched Google for it and it looks like this one got entered incorrectly years ago and has been copied wrong ever since.  Even SNPP has it wrong, which doesn’t happen very often.  For the record, here is the correct exchange between Lisa and Homer:

Homer:  Ahh, not a bear in sight, the Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.

Lisa:  That’s specious reasoning, Dad.

Homer:  Thank you, honey.

Lisa:  By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.

Homer:  Oh, how does it work?

Lisa:  It doesn’t work.  

Homer:  Uh-huh.

Lisa:  It’s just a stupid rock.

Homer:  Uh-huh.

Lisa:  But I don’t see any tigers around here, do you?

Homer:  Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

Yeah, we’re sticklers for quote accuracy around here.  So what?

Happy Memorial Day. Keep it Classy, Portland – Now this quote is really badly mangled:

“Old newspapers!? Coat-hangers?! Expired medicine! Quick you fool, get them in the house!”

Once again, here’s the correct version:

Homer:  Hello, what’s this?  Wire hangers.  Expired medicine.  Old newspapers!

[Hyperventilates.]

Homer:  Okay Homer, stay calm.  Just quietly get this stuff inside your house.

Okay, I’m done needlessly correcting people on the internet for the week.  Well, maybe one more . . .

PS3 Downloadable Game “Rag Doll Kung Fu” Is Free, Still Not Such A Great Deal – Decent usage from Consumerist over a PS3 downloadable game.  The sentences are reversed but the words are correct (albeit with an odd start point).  Close enough.  

Homer Simpson is right! We must let boys run riot (They’ll never learn any other way)  – I suppose I have to link this, but it’s really long and really vapid.  

Why “Will There Ever Be a Rainbow?” – It’s a guy from Buffalo starting a new blog and since it’s got a Simpsons title and a Simpsons image at the top it gets linked here.  

Jay’s Flordia Trip – I didn’t listen to this whole thing, but the Simpsons stuff starts around 26:45 and goes for about five minutes.  Their Simpsons knowledge is . . . uneven.  It’s hard to tell who’s who, but how anyone who says they love Simpsons could think “Marge vs the Monorail” was Season 10 is beyond me.  To be fair, someone else points out that that doesn’t make sense and they agree that the show’s gone downhill.  

Lisa Simpson aids Tibetan orphans – A signed and framed cardboard cutout of Lisa is being sold at auction with the proceeds going to a Scottish charity that helps Tibetan kids.  Hey, speaking of Scotland . . . 

Groundskeeper Willie in centre of Scottish feud – Two different Scottish cities are laying claim to the most brutal Scottish stereotype ever.  This is the kind of pointless civic rivalry I think we can all enjoy.  

Canceled! (part two) – And finally, we’ll once again give the last word to another blogger who agrees with us:

I can’t remember the last new Simpsons episode that I watched.  I think it started with Bart getting in trouble at school, then the family went to the demolition derby and somehow Homer ended up driving a car in the derby, then the whole family somehow ended up in India, and then Moe’s Tavern burned down.  You get the point.  This show has devolved into a series of unrelated situations jammed together and called an “episode.”  On a good day a couple of jokes still ring true and remind you of the greatness of what was — almost like watching Willie Mays turn on a pitch in his last days with the Mets.  But, make no mistake, it is time for The Simpsons to gracefully exit stage right.

He doesn’t think it will happen; I remain optimistic that 2011 could see it end.

29
May
09

Quote of the Day

Stories of degradation...

“I wonder why stories of degradation and humiliation make you more popular.” – Homer Simpson

“I don’t know, they just do.” Moe Syszlak

28
May
09

The Musical Fruit

“Well, beans were a staple of the Israelites, yes proceed.” – Springfield Christian School Teacher

I find this video strangely fascinating.  I don’t know if it’s the MIDI-level soundtrack, the way different beans are brought on and off the screen, the fact that Homer’s five o’clock shadow is done twice or the “d’oh” montage at the end (which is taken from “So It’s Come to This”).  

Whatever it is, it’s neat.

28
May
09

Simpsons Alumni Update: George Meyer

George Meyer was one of the real geniuses who made The Simpsons great.  He popped up in last week’s New Yorker mocking airline frequent flyer clubs.  Go and read, it’s short.

My favorites are Hegira Mach Five, Godhead Supreme and Canadians of Distinction.




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