This week we have real Gummy de Milos and a real beheaded statue. There’s also some usage (good and bad), a bunch of British celebrities, shoddy merchandise, and more.
Gummi Venus De Milo – Someone made real Gummi de Milos! I’d tell you more but I’m drooling on my keyboard. Click the link for pictures (grad student ass not included). The post is more than a year old, but it’s a little known fact that in the medium of gummi a lack of arms retards spoilage (via).
Cloud Talk – Somebody cut off the head of a statue of James Garfield. The link has a picture as well as a rundown of the relevant dialogue from “The Telltale Head”. Why is Dolph referred to as “Other Bully”? Because whoever put up this transcript (from which it appears to be cribbed) is an ignoramus. You’re next, Chester A. Arthur.
4 Simpsons Controversies That Didn’t End in Lawsuits – A rundown of some memorable public flaps in the history of the show.
Uruguay: Ban on Homosexuals Joining the Military Is Lifted – “Look at this country: you are gay.” – Homer Simpson
Top 10 British celebrities to star in The Simpsons – Pretty much what it says. Tracey Ullman doesn’t rate, that seems a tad unfair.
How Homer and Co can help us lead healthier lives (by not copying them) – This is really stupid. British tabloid The Sun had a food charity compile a list of all the food and drink on the show for a month. (I’d assume this means whatever’s in reruns in Britain.) Then they treated the results seriously, even though it’s, you know, a cartoon. Oh yeah, and you prudish health food people can go fuck yourselves for saying this like it’s a bad thing:
Lots of gassy beers can also lead to bloating and excess wind.
Buzz Cola: hazardous material – Remember that Buzz Cola they sold during the promotional shitstorm for the movie two years ago? Well, according to this guy some of the cans have now corroded through from the inside and spilled their contents. He doesn’t cite any actual examples, but if it’s true it’s pretty funny.
TV DAD’S DINNER – Feel like harassing the Cleveland Plain Dealer? Sure you do:
For more than 50 years, television has portrayed thousands of imaginary fathers. Whether it’s the ever-earnest Ward Cleaver or that big honkin’ dufus, Homer Simpson, most of us have a favorite TV dad.
Who’s yours? And if – in your own imaginary world – you could cook up a meal to honor your fantasy father this June 21, what would it include? (Besides a plateful of doughnuts for Homer – doh!)
On June 17, in time for Father’s Day, Taste will publish some of the most fun, interesting or thoughtful responses. We’ll post more on cleveland.com.
Want in on the fun? In 75 words or less, tell us:
Your character’s name and the TV show in which he appears;
Why he’s your favorite;
The meal – including why that menu fits your electronic father figure.
Deadline is Monday, May 25. Send us your entry either of two ways:
E-mail: email@example.com (in the subject line, please type “TV Dad’s Dinner).
Conventional mail: “TV Dad’s Dinner,” Taste, The Plain Dealer, 1801 Superior Ave., Cleveland, OH 44114.
The Simpsons’ Krusty talks “he-shes” – Was the transfat/transgender thing from last week’s Zombie Simpsons over the line? Feh. Though, I’m happy to provide an answer to this:
I wonder what the writers were thinking when they were constructing this episode.
They weren’t thinking, it’s against policy.
Pills Or Porn: That Is The Question – Moronic dating advice site YourTango sure does like its Simpsons references.
In response, a quick-fix called AndroGel has been on the market for the past decade, causing men who’ve lost that loving feeling to sign up in droves and attempt to reclaim lost hormones by slathering this foam-like stuff all over their bodies. AndroGel is supposed to turn them from a grouchy, sexless Homer Simpson-type character and into a cheery George Clooney of sorts (“improvement in energy, sexual desire, sexual function, and mood within 1 month” says the website).
I never really thought of Homer as sexless. In fact, and we might want to tell the Plain Dealer this, for a TV Dad Homer got laid quite a lot.
Hard work’s key for Hawks, plus what the vanquished need now – SI.com’s Allan Muir botches his usage while advising the Blackhawks to crash the net against the Red Wings.
My two cents? As the recycling man told Homer Simpson, “Simplify, man. Simplify.”
Nit pick time! The recycling hippie was talking to Skinner, not Homer and the actual quote is, “It sounds like you’re working for your car. Simplify, man!” Ah well, go Wings.
Should have signed a DNR – Scrubs is coming back for another season, though this is what grabbed my attention:
On the plus side at least it is not as bad as the Simpson’s is now.
Collared today: Shadow – The Baltimore Sun runs a little feature where they talk about people’s pets. In discussing their dog Shadow’s trick repertoire the Sadaka family goes with Bart:
As Bart Simpson says, “He doesn’t want to learn, and we don’t want to teach him…We get along great.” Obeys very well-no particular tricks that stand out, but seems to understand everything remarkably well.
Why multi-channeling is bad for HD – Channel ten in Australia has apparently lost its HD and is now broadcasting HD Zombie Simpsons as “widescreen”. Also:
Actually I’m not totally sure that there would be that much difference in The Simpsons HD and The Simpsons SD anyway.