13
Jul
09

FOX Plans Self Fellatio for January

A Star is Burns1
“Listen Senor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.” – C.M. Burns
“Uh, Schindler es bueno, senor Burns es el diablo.” – Senor Spielbergo
“Listen Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod.  We’re both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit!  Now go out there and win me that festival!” – C.M. Burns

Morgan Spurlock, of Super Size Me fame (and Where in the World is Osama bin Laden? mild notoriety), will be producing and directing a FOX special called “The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special in 3-D on Ice”.  Assuming the title is a joke on just how ridiculous it is to celebrate such a meaningless milestone, this could be almost anything:

The documentary special, celebrating the 20th anniversary of the animated program, will air Thursday, Jan. 14 on Fox. According to FX, the documentary will focus on the “cultural phenomenon of The Simpsons.”

January 14th, by the way, is the date the series “officially” started with the airing of “Bart the Genius” in 1990.  I’ll assume the network has its own programming reasons for choosing that date instead of December 17th, which is the date that “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” first aired.

The question on my mind is how it’s going to handle the widely acknowledged quality gap between real Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons.  If it’s pure “aren’t we great and funny and look how long we’ve been great and funny” propaganda there probably won’t be much in the way of jokes or references to the glaring inadequacy of the later seasons.  But when people talk about the Simpsons and quote the Simpsons (the “cultural phenomenon” aspect) it’s almost exclusively something from the before time, the long long ago (Spiderpig notwithstanding).  In short, can you fellate the show without overtly ignoring all of its crappiness?  We’ll find out in six months.



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Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.

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