“There’s a mathematician, a different kind of mathmetician, and a statistician.” – Not Tom Brokaw “Make it stop! Ahh-ha-ha” – Homer Simpson “Oh no, not another boring space launch. Change the channel, change the channel!” – Bart Simpson “I can’t, I can’t!” – Homer Simpson
This week there’s an astronomer who doesn’t remember the above scene all too well, but her heart is in the right place. Then there’s lots of usage, ranging from piss poor to the rare double excellent. Also, there’s a Paul Giamatti movie, cool moustaches, and a whackjob conspiracy nut. Enjoy.
Has moon trip’s power to inspire waned? – There’s no mystery as to why no one cares about the space program any longer. Forty years ago man walked on the moon. Fifteen years ago “averagenaut” Homer Simpson made history. This week they fixed a broken shitter. It’s just not that exciting:
“There’s actually a great throw-away line in ‘The Simpsons’ about it,” University of Georgia astronomer Loris Magnani said about students’ blasé attitude toward space. “The TV’s on and the announcer says, ‘Stay tuned for the live shuttle launch,’ and Bart walks over, turns it off and says, ‘Oh no, not another boring moon launch.’ “
That gets an A for effort and an A+++ for relevance, but an F for actual quotation. Still, a fine attempt.
Slobots – Bart in robot form. Click for creepy/awesome pictures.
Machine Steals Giamatti’s Soul; Simpsons’ Plot… – There’s a new Paul Giamatti movie that’s suspiciously like “Bart Sells His Soul”.
I’ll wait to see how it turns out, but the movie’d want to be something really special to top that vintage piece of American television.
“Me fail English? That’s unpossible!” – Okay, remember how last week I didn’t link to anything about this ridiculous Emmy non-controversy? Well I’m going to link to this one because I largely agree with it and he uses the same “Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?” quote we did.
Iconic Moustaches of the Past – Flanders is on here, but the rest are real and some of them are damn impressive.
Homer Simpson – Freemason ? – This guy’s a nut who sees Masonic imagery in the show. I’m embarrassed to use the same WordPress template as him. Oh yeah, his avatar image? Agent Smith from The Matrix. Too rich. As per usual, I’m 99% sure this isn’t satire.
Overpaid, underperforming – Excellent quotation.
Desensitization and Cinema – This guy is super keen on Jesus, but I won’t hold that against him, and his point, that becoming desensitized to things like violence and sex is only bad if it causes you to become a jerk, seems valid. So I’ll set aside my usual skepticism when someone starts citing the Bible and simply say that this . . .
It was Bart Simpson who told his sister, “If you don’t watch the violence, you’ll never get desensitized to it!” (The Simpsons: Colonel Homer).
. . . is excellent usage. No doubt accustomed to citing things, he even names the episode. Bravo.
“Don’t have a cow, man!” — Bart Simpson – Continuing our religious theme, this is a link to a website for young Mormon girls. Why is the title a Bart quote? Because at a week long Mormon youth gathering the boys (though apparently not the girls) have a phrase: “Crush Of the Week” or COW. The author is unamused. I say make it mutual, those Mormon girls are doubtlessly just as easily smitten as their male counterparts.
Tidal Wave Running A Little Late – This link is today’s lesson in Government Bullshit Speak. Observe:
In the worst-case projections the tidal wave of retirements, by now, would mean that most of the government’s middle and top career managers would have the KSAs of Homer Simpson.
Upon reading this I wondered to myself, what does KSA stand for? Google provided the answer:
The knowledge, skills and abilities (KSA’s) necessary for the successful performance of a position are contained on each job vacancy announcement.
We Don’t Need to Win the War on Science to Win the War for Comprehensive Sex Education – While Ezekiel and Ishmael step out into the hall to pray for Patrick Malone’s soul, I’m awarding him two (2) gold stars for usage. At the beginning:
“Facts are meaningless,” Homer Simpson says. “You can use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true. Facts, schmacts.”
And then at the end:
It will not be an easy transition to make but, again to quote Homer Simpson, the Chinese have the same word for crisis and opportunity: “Crisitunity.”
Double excellent usage, well done, sir.
Butterfinger Revives Tagline, Launches Video Contest – Feel like doing Nestle’s marketing work for them? They’re bringing back the “nobody better lay a finger” hook and are looking for submissions from people they don’t have to pay. I don’t care about this, it’s just an excuse to post this:
There’s about seventy five more of those on YouTube if you’re feeling bored, though most of them don’t foreshadow plots from later seasons.
Fox Auditioning Fans to Appear in Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special – Morgan Spurlock is going to be at Comic Con in San Diego tomorrow looking for people to be in his Zombie Simpsons 10th Anniversary special. Here’s the video invitation:
His Otto imitation is pretty good.
It tastes like burning! – This young blogger is a production assistant on Spurlock’s thing. She says she does a great Pinchy. I too enjoy rolling around in hot water and butter.
Social Security: Welfare for old people. – My apathy easily encompasses Social Security, so I’m quite blase about the point she’s trying to make here, but this cannot go unremarked upon (emphasis mine):
For those of you who don’t know, I’m a huge Simpsons fan. Every night I try to get in an episode or two before I go to bed. I don’t really care for the Halloween episodes and usually skip over them, but I’m doing other things so I just let it go.
That, boys and girls, is a head scratcher. How can any Simpsons fan, particularly a self described “huge” Simpsons fan, not like Treehouse of Horror? I guess it’s true that there’s no accounting for taste. She then proceeds to quote III and slightly mangles it:
Marge Simpson: Where did you get all the money?
Grandpa: The government. I didn’t earn it. I don’t need it. But, if they miss one payment I’m gonna raise hell!
Abe actually says: “But if they miss one payment I’ll raise hell!” It’s minor, I know, but I always though conservatives were supposed to be good at transcription.
Top 10 Simpsons episodes as per 3 guys! – This week I get to end the way I like to, with a blogger (or in this case bloggers) who agree with us here at the Dead Homer Society. Before we get to that though, I should point out that the only quote on the page, Homer’s awesome prayer from “And Maggie Makes Three”, isn’t quite kosher. That aside, I love these men because they wrote this:
As the saying goes “the 3 wise man said…” no this is not a rant on the religious or the profoundly holly. [sic] Well it could be if everyone thought of the Simpsons the way 2 of my esteemed friends do. We all came about this simple fact which i guess the older fans may have observed: the older episodes prior to season 12 had a bit more depth and the writing was a bit more refined. After season 12 it just felt like another sitcom. Nevertheless its our SImpsons and we love it !
Preach it brothers, preach it!