Archive for November, 2010

30
Nov
10

Crazy Noises: How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window

Rorschach Test

“Uh, the devil with his fly open.” – Homer Simpson
“Right.” – Psychiatrist
“Uh, that’s a spill on the floor with bugs going after it. And there gonna eat it.” – Homer Simpson
“Good.” – Psychiatrist
“Let’s see, it’s . . . the boy!” – Homer Simpson

In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22.  Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom.  Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on  “unrepentant”).

Homer Simpson was once given a Rorschach test. He had been involuntarily hauled to the “New Bedlam Rest Home for the Emotionally Interesting” for the grievous crime of wearing a pink shirt to work. No introduction was needed, the scene just picked up with Homer reporting what he saw. The whole thing barely takes ten seconds and each line is a joke.

In “How Munched is That Birdie in the Window”, Zombie Homer was acting out like the jerk he is when Marge distracted him with Rorschach pages. This led to a twenty second long series of grunts and screams. None of them had anything to do with what few ink blots were shown. There was hardly any dialogue; it was mostly Homer making faces while Castellaneta made noises. The other characters in the room didn’t react to this or anything, they just sat patiently and waited for him to finish. It was almost as if they knew they were in a crappy sitcom.

Charlie Sweatpants: Time to take the plunge?

Mad Jon: I am ready.

Charlie Sweatpants: In that case, let me start out by saying that this felt like they were pulling words and concepts out of a hat.

Mad Jon: That’s a pretty good description.

It was even more randomly taped together than usual.

Charlie Sweatpants: I know I complain about the stories every week, and it’s not unusual for the first act to have nothing to do with the rest of the episode, but this was even worse than usual.

Dave: Manatees and idea balls, perhaps?

Charlie Sweatpants: It wasn’t just the first act, it was the first half, and even that was padded left and right with whatever happened to fill up enough screen time. Between that thing that was like an Itchy & Scratchy, and that Patton bit, and the angels, and the horror story . . . it just kept getting more and more random.

Mad Jon: I did think they were going to make Homer talk in that voice the entire episode, but then they surprised me and had him do other random activities and voices….

Also, Danica Patrick was there.

I guess Go Daddy isn’t paying like it used to.

Charlie Sweatpants: She was one of three different fights Homer got into.

And hers was the only one with a purpose.

Dave: Danica Patrick was useless, as she is in real life. It was oddly fitting.

Charlie Sweatpants: Geez Dave, what have you got against Patrick?

Dave: I just don’t care for her. Carry on.

Mad Jon: Was the therapist a guest voice too?

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah.

That was Rachel Weisz.

It didn’t need to be. But it was

Mad Jon: Ok. What was she pitching?

Charlie Sweatpants: I don’t know, it may be the first non-synergistic guest voice of the year.

Charlie Sweatpants: Of course, it was just one scene and it did nothing, but there it is.

Mad Jon: Hmm, so FOX is getting dumber AND lazier huh.

Charlie Sweatpants: Something like that.

To the “dumber” point, they continue with their inability to furnish a guest character with an interesting story.

Mad Jon: Or any story.

Charlie Sweatpants: In terms of “lazier”, I will say that I was expecting Patrick to just drive up in a race car or something. I can’t decide if having her in a dream is more or less lazy.

Dave: A little less, but only marginally.

Mad Jon: Well the racing thing would have helped tie into Moe’s plot to steal Homer’s house.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, what was that about?

Moe’s not there, then he is, then as a punchline they use this bizarre twist.

Mad Jon: I don’t know. Nobody knows. Moe doesn’t know.

Dave: A throwaway line intended for yuks, but something that instead fell flat on its face?

Charlie Sweatpants: Sounds about right.

That reminds me, uh, Marcia Wallace really can’t do Krabappel any more. It’s not even close.

Mad Jon: Yeah it was pretty bad.

Charlie Sweatpants: Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want them to replace her or anything, she deserves to take every penny she can out of them, but it’s impossible not to notice it.

Mad Jon: Also your statement about Chalmers a few weeks back is becoming truer by the day. He really does live at the school doesn’t he?

Charlie Sweatpants: All the minor characters are like that. It’s just most noticeable with Chalmers.

Nelson in this one, for example.

Mad Jon: Oh yeah, with the mom and the clown.

Charlie Sweatpants: There he is out in the wilderness, then there he is again for the world’s most forced callback joke.

And I can’t decide if it’s stupider that he was in the choir, or that the choir was at the funeral.

Mad Jon: That whole funeral scene made me feel very bad about myself.

Charlie Sweatpants: The same goes for Moe and Milhouse.

Mad Jon: The rendition of “taps’ was especially physically embarrassing.

Charlie Sweatpants: Another glacially paced scene in an episode that was full of them.

Any decent parts, in your opinions?

Dave: The montage wasn’t awful, by ZS standards, but it did go on a tad long.

Mad Jon: The only thing I thought was ok was the chart Bart drew. Not the whole scene with Milhouse, that dragged on and was pointless, but the quick flash to the drawing with Milhouse at the bottom was ‘decent’ in my opinion.

Charlie Sweatpants: Skinner wanting Bart to be depressed was okay, while it went on too long and they beat it into the ground a little bit, it’s a decent concept.

It also made sense in context, quite frankly that shocked me.

Mad Jon: I can see that. It was faintly reminiscent of the time Skinner recommended deportation. Just not as hilarious.

Charlie Sweatpants: Not even close, but that Skinner would unrepentantly want Bart sad was good. It just didn’t need to take that long, or have as much Jerkass Homer in it.

Other than that this was pretty much a garbage dump all the way through.

Mad Jon: No arguments here.

Charlie Sweatpants: I was also curious about your opinions on the animation for the weird Itchy & Scratchy thing.

The backgrounds and stuff were done in a very 1930s Disney style with that soft focus, but the characters were all crisp and bright and obviously digital.

I don’t know if that was intentional or what, but it was just odd.

Dave: Oh, that. I shrugged it off. I’m sure it was a reference to something I don’t care about.

But intentional, yes.

Mad Jon: That was a very weird I&S, even for this season.

Charlie Sweatpants: Anything else here? We haven’t even mentioned the ostrich fight/murder/Family Guy thing at the end. But that may be for the best.

Mad Jon: Oh I think it’s just as well that we lump that in to your opening statement. It was a random collage of animation and activity I assume they thought would get some laughs from the twelve year olds in between their text messages and facetime.

Dave: Bart killed an ostrich lol?

Mad Jon: I kind of felt drunk while I was watching the last 4 or so minutes, and I haven’t had anything to drink tonight.

Charlie Sweatpants: I can understand that. With about four minutes to go I looked at the timer and was wondering where they were going with this. Then there was an ostrich farm and Bart had to not get saved by Santa’s Little Helper.

When the ostrich opened his eyes, fine, who cares, it’s a little twist. But then he went all Chicken with Bad Coupon on Homer. Was it worth that kind of total capitulation to MacFarlane to stretch the last ten seconds of the episode?

Mad Jon: I have a hard time imagining that they were doing that for any other reason than to fill the last minute of screen time.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, you’re probably right.

Mad Jon: There is no need to think of an ending when you don’t really end the episode.

Charlie Sweatpants: Also a good point.

Anything else? I’m ready to be done.

Mad Jon: Also I am ready to be done.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, Dave, what do you say? Is it quittin’ time or would you like to stay and work overtime?

Dave: I think it’s quittin’ time. Jon would kill me if I extended this.

Charlie Sweatpants: I always like it when we end on implied death threats.

30
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Microwaves

Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user tellumo.

“Isn’t there any way I can change my DNA, like, sitting on the microwave?” – Lisa Simpson
“Not according to any movie I’ve ever seen.” – Dr. Hibbert

29
Nov
10

Paging G.E. Smith (Updated)

Chalkboard - How Munched is That Birdie in the Window

“So then his wife comes through the door!” – Homer Simpson
“So?” – Bart Simpson
“Did I mention she was dead?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, she was.  And she hit him in the head with a golf club!” – Homer Simpson
“And?” – Bart Simpson
“Don’t you remember?  He went golfing all the time and it really bugged her.” – Homer Simpson
“You said he went bowling!” – Lisa Simpson
“D’oh!” – Homer Simpson

I’ve often compared Zombie Simpsons to bad sketch comedy, and “How Munched is That Birdie in the Window” is one of the best examples yet inflicted upon the masses.  Not only did none of the scenes compliment each other, many of them had literally nothing to do with the rest of the episode.  Instead, there were a series of brief scenes that barfed up a few hammy jokes and pratfalls before ending as abruptly as they started. 

It began with another extremely long couch opening.  That was followed by two scenes that were completely unrelated to everything.  And I mean “completely”, both the angels bowling and Homer’s Halloween leftover story had nothing to do with the rest of the episode, nor were they setting anything up.  I half expected a house band to break in and play a few guitar licks so that the transition from the monologue to the Big Ear Family would be easier on the audience. 

Then, apropos of nothing, the pigeon showed up.  That lead to a pigeon montage, an unrelated Homer scene with a pigeon coop, another unrelated scene with Milhouse, random characters using pigeon messages to set up random scenes and, finally, Moe appearing for no reason whatsoever.  Each scene has its own little timid stabs at humor, then ends.  You could write a description of each one on an index card, shuffle them thoroughly, and reorder the entire episode and it would’ve made as much (or more) sense as the real thing. 

The main conflict, if it can even be called that, was Bart getting upset at his dog, and that wasn’t introduced until halfway through.  It too came straight out of the blue, Santa’s Little Helper simply appeared and ate the bird, though the suddenness did not prevent them from milking it for half a minute of screen time.  As if to add to the randomness, they had two relatively well known guest stars, one an actual actress, neither of whom was given anything to do but appear and disappear quickly.  Oh, and did I mention that it ends with an ostrich fight?  It did.  And, no, it didn’t have anything to do with the rest of the episode either.

The numbers are in and, sadly, they’re up.  Happily, they are also not final, as football ran very long on FOX yesterday.  The preliminary numbers say that 9.42 million people choked down last night’s Zombie Simpsons, but even with the big lead in from football those numbers are likely to come down.  Since that number is much higher than anything Zombie Simpsons has posted this season, let’s hope it comes down a lot.  Unlike the last time this happened, I will actually update this post when the final numbers are published. 

Update 3 December 2010: Unfortunately, the final numbers were only revised down slightly to 9.39 million viewers.  That makes this one easily the highest rated of the season.  Let’s hope it stays that way.   

29
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Summer of 4 Ft 2(5)

“Somebody’s traveling light.” – Homer Simpson
“Meh.  Maybe you’re getting stronger.” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, I have been eating more.” – Homer Simpson

28
Nov
10

Sunday Preview: “How Munched Is That Birdie In The Window?”

I hate shitty, two-bit, fame-whore Danica Patrick so much that I’m not even going to dignify this episode with commentary.  I’ll leave it at the description from our friends at Simpsons Channel:

Bart helps nurse an injured pigeon back to health. After Santa’s Little Helper eats the bird, Bart has a hard time coping with the loss. Worried that Bart needs some help getting over the loss, Marge and Homer take him to a therapy session with Dr. Thurston, who advises that the only cure for Bart’s blues is to give away the family dog, but when the Simpsons visit the pup’s new home, a shock causes them to rethink their decision.

28
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Das Bus3

“I can’t go on.  You two go ahead.  And carry me with you.” – Milhouse van Houten

Happy birthday Pamela Hayden! 

27
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Homer Alone4

“This is Kent Brockman reporting live from Arnie Pie’s traffic copter.  But, I can assure you, this is no mere morning traffic report.” – Kent Brockman
“Hey!” – Arnie Pie
“Face the facts, Arnie.” – Kent Brockman

26
Nov
10

Reading Digest: And a Spring For Its Curly Tail Edition

Lisa the Simpson3

“This is terrible at best.  I’m surprised at you, Lisa.” – Miss Hoover
“Me too.” – Lisa Simpson

This week’s reading digest is very short for obvious, holiday related reasons.  That in no way lessens the quality of the links below however.  There’s some cool fan art, plenty of YouTube, and the funniest car crash in Texas.

Enjoy.

Babies On Board – How’s this for a holiday bargain?  You don’t even have to click through to Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week.  You can just push play:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fantastic. 

The 12 most awesome aliens in TV history – Kang and Kodos check in at #3 (via Springfield Springfield’s Twitter).

The Simpsons Cupcakes – Assuming the tops are edible, those may be the best damn cupcakes I’ve ever seen (also via Springfield Springfield’s Twitter).

Baikin v. Sparkle Powder v. Zombie Pandas of Doom! – Fan made painting of Mr. Sparkle and . . . well, just click it.

Cartoonist of ‘Simpsons’ Fame Comes Home – Nice little story about an animator from Russia who worked at Klasky Csupo back in the day.  Money quote:

Even with his limited knowledge of English at the time, Kovalyov said he didn’t find there to be such significant differences in the worlds of Russian and U.S. animation. “Artists had the same spark in their eyes, like back home, and maybe their pencils were better quality,” he said. “But nobody drank at work,” he added, smiling. “That was a big difference.”

Suddenly, Nelson! – Car crash schadenfreude is so much more fun with vanity plates and pictures.

The Simpsons: Mom it’s Broken! – Fantastic Thanksgiving Simpsons YouTube. 

my REAL wall – 21st November 2010 – Life imitates Facebook with Homer yearning for Dim Sum.

Wait, Do I Like Cooking? – And finally, a cook contemplates the fleeting happiness that is cooking.  And, as if to underscore my point from last week, invokes “Separate Vocations” with YouTube:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bonus points for this as the closing:

So, in conclusion, the earlier seasons of The Simpsons really stand the test of time, and I clearly didn’t waste years of my life memorizing the episodes. They come in handy on a daily basis.

Word.

26
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Lady Bouvier's Lover4

“Coming up this hour on the Impulse Buying Network, your chance to own a piece of Itchy & Scratchy, the toon-town-twosome beloved by everyone, even cynical members of Generation X.” – Troy McClure
“Yeah.  ‘Groovy’.” – Cynical Member of Generation X

Happy birthday Wes Archer!

25
Nov
10

Crazy Noises: The Fool Monty

Simpsons Movie Pie Chart

In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22.  Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom.  Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on  “dickey”).

I’ve linked the above graph before, and I couldn’t help but think of it when “The Fool Monty” did that rather half assed dome reference toward its ass end.  That graph neatly sums up the general opinion on the movie, and if anything the SpiderPig slice is too small.  What I especially like about this is that it exposes the movie for the cheap, forgettable ninety minutes that it was.  

One of the hallmarks of paint-by-number, chum bucket studio comedies is when they have just one or two decent jokes (which are often flogged to an early death in the trailers).  In this case, it was a single iteration of a pig that had three of them, and only that because of the song that accompanied it.  If Harry Potter had a catchy 60s cartoon theme they could’ve played off, that graph would read differently. 

But that isn’t what Zombie Simpsons brought back in their little meta-joke about how little sense the movie made.  They brought back the dome that no one cared about, and then they tried to play it as though they were sending themselves up.  The cultural ignorance that displays is impressive in some way and unintentionally funny in another, but neither does them any credit. 

On account of Thanksgiving we were a man short again, though this time it was Mad Jon.  In the spirit of being thankful, I assume that he is. 

Charlie Sweatpants: Well then, let’s get this over with quickly, shall we?

Dave: Please, let’s.

Charlie Sweatpants: On a scale of one to the largest prime number yet discovered, what the hell was that?

Dave: That was maybe a -8.

  I err on the side of caution lest I seem biased or anything.

Charlie Sweatpants: I don’t think there’s any way to be objective about that thing. They took perhaps the easiest character to write for in the entire list of characters, made him act pathetic, then brainwashed him into some kind of plaything, then they made him pathetic again.

Dave: Yeah the plaything bit was borderline demented, even by ZS standards.

  A, it’s implausible. B, it went on for what seemed like 4/5ths of the episode.

  So I suppose that’s actually par for course, who am I kidding?

Charlie Sweatpants: Burns isn’t off the hook either, though. Even when he was still himself he wasn’t actually himself.

Since when would C.M. Burns, a man who’s cheated death countless times and once, when he faced death, responded by kidnapping a child so that his evil would live on, when would that man kill himself?

Sorry, I’ll stop ranting. It’s just that the suicide thing really pissed me off. And then it didn’t end. It went on for like thirty seconds.

Okay, now I’ll stop ranting.

Dave: No, you’re right though. They ran with the essential bits of Burns but left out the irrevocably evil and selfish part

  Which, you know, is kind of the point of Burns.

Charlie Sweatpants: Pretty much. On slightly (very slightly) less dismal ground, the B-plot, while timid and about five years too late, had one or two things that were okay.

Dave: Go on.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, the Dick Cheney business card that said "architect of America’s downfall" and the joke about stacking naked men (which are right next to each other) were decent.

Dave: I actually thought the Fox news chopper was timely.

Charlie Sweatpants: I enjoyed the opening. As usual it was a little off, but the whole yelling at NBC joke was pretty good (though it didn’t need repeating).

The same with the FOX chopper joke. "Not Racist, But #1 With Racists" was good. But then there was that really strained "fair" and "balanced" joke.

Dave: Yep, they couldn’t leave well enough alone.

Charlie Sweatpants: The whole scene had those problems. Things just went on a bit too long here and there. Still, it was easily the best thing so far this season. That isn’t saying much, but it’s there.

Dave: Word.

Charlie Sweatpants: It was also better than the Cheney thing, to get back there for a second. Like I said, I liked the card and the torture joke, but then when they actually got to him it was pretty much a let down. His evil was about as lame as Burns in this episode.

Dave: Again, my point earlier stands, they couldn’t really leave well enough alone.

Charlie Sweatpants: Agreed with that.

Dave: The whole Smithers needing purpose thing has been done before and better.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, this wasn’t repeating things so much as it was just really soft and lame.

  But a few enjoyable pokes at our dark overlords aren’t enough to make up for the rest of the episode.

Dave: Right.

Charlie Sweatpants: And I don’t think they realize that twice going meta on yourself (once for Homer’s limited imagination, the other for the worthless return of the dome) stopped working for them fourteen seasons ago with Roy.

Dave: Jesus. Fourteen.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah.

Dave: I mean, it’s not like that’s a revelation or anything.

  But it’s not often that I think about how much time has actually passed.

Charlie Sweatpants: It’s not so much the time as it is the change in culture. When they did it in Season 8 the general feeling about the show wasn’t that it was over the hill. Now, in lightly making fun of themselves, they make themselves look stodgy. Like Krusty with the flapping dickey.

In other words, when they bring the dome back (in a stretch for that Stephen King joke), it’s not like people loved the dome and they’re saying something counter-cultural. They’re just referencing themselves with the kind of gentle dead weight humor you hear at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner.

  It’s obligated humor, which makes it dull.

Dave: I wish I had something to add to that, but I don’t, and you’re absolutely right.

Charlie Sweatpants: Anything else? I want to go watch good cartoons.

Dave: You should, because that’s what I’m about to do

25
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Bart vs Thanksgiving4

“Ohh, what a hit!” – Gil #1
“Oh yeah, he’s out cold, Gil.” – Gil #2
“Oh, yes sir, looks like they’ll be feeding him Thanksgiving dinner through a tube.” – Gil #1
“Hope they can fit a turkey in there.” – Gil #2
“Get on with it, Gil.” – Gil #1

24
Nov
10

Thanksgiving Programming Update

 Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish5

“Thank you for watching Movie for a Dreary Afternoon.” – TV Announcer

Everything is a bit of a duketastrophe here in the States on account of Thanksgiving.  But there will be a Crazy Noises tomorrow and there will quite likely be some kind of Reading Digest on Friday.  Please stay tuned for paid political announcements brought to you by the Friends of Kang & Kodos:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No, I don’t know why YouTube is in stretched widescreen now.  Yes, here’s another one:

24
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou5

“You certainly broke up that meeting.” – McBain Girl
“Right now I’m thinking about holding another meeting . . . in bed.” – McBain
“Oh, McBain!” – McBain Girl

23
Nov
10

Compare & Contrast: Burns Hosts a Party

“This party is over.” – C.M. Burns

Over the years, Zombie Simpsons has gutted a lot of the great characters bequeathed to it by The Simpsons.  Moe went from being a bitter bartender running various criminal side businesses to a perpetually lovesick wet blanket.  Chief Wiggum used to be a gleefully corrupt and incompetent police chief, now he’s their go-to guy when they want a fat and/or stupid joke and Homer’s already in use.  I’m not even sure Patty and Selma are on the show anymore.  The less said about what happened to Lenny and Carl the better. 

Burns hasn’t been immune to these sad developments.  The arrogance, greed and “unbelievable contempt for human life” that used to animate him are all but gone, replaced by bumbling incompetence and a frequent need to impress the people he once considered beneath him.  In “The Fool Monty” we can see both of those sad and unfunny traits on full display, and in a situation very similar to one in which the real Burns took a very different course of action. 

In “The Fool Monty”, Burns was sad and hosted a party.  At that party his guests displeased him and he wasn’t having a good time.  In response, he sulked off to his bedroom like some kind of spoiled child and lamented that he had no friends. 

Sulking

Nobody respects tyrants who sulk.

In Season 5’s Machiavellian masterpiece “Rosebud”, Burns was sad and hosted a party.  At that party his guests displeased him and he wasn’t having a good time.  In response, he ordered a band that wasn’t present killed and brought in hired goons in full riot gear to beat the troublesome partygoers, even though most of them had done nothing to him. 

Rosebud6

The real Mr. Burns would never be driven from a room by the peasantry. 

Things like this are why even when Zombie Simpsons does something semi-decent, like it’s media conspiracy opening, everything rapidly falls apart.  None of the characters still possess the traits that made them so funny in the first place.  Burns has become a wuss, and an incompetent one at that.  It wasn’t just the sulking in his room after – horror of horrors – people were mean to him.  He let himself get skyjacked by a fourth grader.  He failed to kill himself (or take anyone with him).  He fell for the media scare of cat flu (or whatever it was). 

Those are not the actions of an evil tyrant, at least, not an evil tyrant this side of Saturday morning kids cartoons.  Zombie Simpsons has discarded the funniest characteristics of Burns and many others in favor of whatever they need for a given scene.  The result is lifeless characters, stories that can’t go anywhere, and gruel-thin, one-dimensional comedy. 

23
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Bart After Dark4

“It’s eleven o’clock, do you know where your children are?” – Public Service Announcement
“I told you last night: no!” – Homer Simpson

22
Nov
10

All Downhill

Chalkboard - The Fool Monty

“Gimme your fortune or I’ll pound your withered old face in!” – Nelson Muntz
“Oh, I like his energy.  Put him on the callback list.” – C.M. Burns

Once the overwrought couch gag finally ended, and I think it may have been longer than Avatar itself, Zombie Simpsons had a secret media conspiracy inside the Statue of Liberty.  To my astonishment, it was actually funny.  To no astonishment whatsoever, the rest of the episode was not.  Even by the filler-rific standards of Zombie Simpsons, the last, oh, seventeen minutes or so of this episode were filler-rific.  Burns’ odd suicide alone took nearly a minute, and that was before the usual round of poorly executed slapstick, long form exposition, and about three different endings, each one longer than the last. 

The numbers are in and they are worse than ever.  Last night’s self referential crapfest was suffered through by a mere 6.63 million viewers.  That’s half a million people lower than any fall episode from last year and the second lowest fall number ever.  That record, 6.19 million viewers, is held by Season 20’s “The Burns and the Bees”, and I have great hope it will not hold that title much longer.  There is only one Sunday left in November, and Zombie Simpsons typically only has one or two new episodes in December before going dark for the oddball weeks around Christmas and New Year’s, so there are two or three chances. 

Last week’s number, by the way, was revised down from 8.97 million to 8.83 million.  Through six episodes, Season 22 is averaging a mere 7.79 million viewers.  The first six episodes of Season 20 averaged 9.19 million, and Season 21’s number was 8.29 million.  Notice a trend?  I sure do. 

22
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Bart vs Thanksgiving3

“And lord, we’re especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is . . . except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th anniversary to “Bart vs. Thanksgiving”!  Original airdate: 22 November 1990. 

21
Nov
10

Sunday Preview: “The Fool Monty”

Sweet baby Jesus, Zombie Simpsons are at it again this week with another spiritual rehash of an old episode.   Tonight, Lisa takes an interest in curmudgeonly old Burns, only to realize that he’s incapable of being changed. Sounds familiar, right?  It’s basically the plot of Season 8′s “The Old Man and the Lisa,” and I harbor doubts that “The Fool Monty” can outshine its predecessor.  If you’re still curious, here’s the actual rundown from Simpsons Channel:

After learning that he is suffering from multiple illnesses and has only a few weeks to live, Mr. Burns becomes distraught by the town’s less-than-sensitive reaction to his announcement. Following an unexpected turn of events, Bart finds Mr. Burns weak and vulnerable in the wilderness and secretly takes him into the Simpsons’ home. But when Homer and Marge learn about their new houseguest, they decide it’s payback time, and Lisa, determined to stand up for Mr. Burns, learns that old habits die hard.

The Season 22 suckfest continues unabated.  Stay tuned for our usual ratings report and Crazy Noises later this week.

21
Nov
10

Quote of the Day

Bart's Dog Gets an F6

“You, wandering mongrel, get out of my mom and pop operation!” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

20
Nov
10

Saturday Morning Cartoons

File this under shit I’m still impressed the show got away with in 1991:

Lisa's Pony7

That is, uh, not subtle. 




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Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.

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