“Oyster shells! Hand painted to resemble Lucille Ball! You’ll love Oyster Lucy!” – Moe
For the second year in a row we here at the Dead Homer Society are offering this belated and woefully incomplete shopping guide for the Simpsons fan in your life. Just like last year, the idea here is to find cool Simpsons stuff that does not feed the merchandising beast that does more than anything else to keep Zombie Simpsons on the air. Also just like last year, this basically amounts to me doing a search on Etsy and then linking the best results. Still, any one of these items is both more creative and more original than another set of “collectible” figurines or the latest novelty items to get Simpsonized.
ABC’s of geek pop culture by SuburbanYeti – $25 – This is a fantastic idea:
Gotta love the Flux Capacitor.
Fantasy Floorplans for The Simpsons/Residence by fantasyfloorplans – $64 – Serious, wall mountable floor plans for a house that doesn’t exist.
Lisa Simpson Pez Oil Painting Still Life by PatrickFlynn – $100 – An oil painting of a Lisa Simpson Pez dispenser. I did not expect to see that when I got up this morning.
Limited Edition 8 x 10 Print of Still Life with by Marge Simpson Pez PatrickFlynn – $15 – From the same seller is a print of his painting of Marge’s Pez dispenser. Here’s one of Bart.
Simpsons Abstract by ChikyuuTenshi – $18 – A painting of the family in what almost looks like a cracked mirror.
Homer Simpson untooned Original Oil Painting by MrBlondieNation – $25 – A painting of what Homer might look like if he were a real guy.
Simpsons Kalidescope by natureslittlequilts – $35 – Wow:
Marge Simpson Playboy centerfold numbered edition by nwlimited – $200 – A framed picture of nipple/donut Marge from the Playboy spread along with some of the stamps.
Springfield Nuclear Plant Parking Decal by seasnarke – $10 – This is really clever, it’s a fake parking sticker in the shape of a nuclear cooling tower.
Canyonero Custom Car Emblem by Empira – $15 – This is a great idea:
I cast each piece in durable plastic from a custom silicone rubber mold, paint them black and chrome, and apply automotive-grade double-sided tape so it will stick permanently on the back of your car.
A hundred cheers to whoever puts one of these on a Prius or a Leaf first. The irony alone might power the car for miles.
Arts & Crafts
Jebediah Springfield Quote Finished Cross Stitch by JupiterStarPower – $15 – A small cross stitch with Jebediah’s famous “noble spirit” quote.
Simpson Fabric Buttons Set of Four by StashFabulous – $5 – Simpsons character buttons.
Homer Simpson Recycled Board Game Journal – £7 – A refillable journal made from an old Simpsons board game.
The Simpsons Cluedo handmade journal by peonyandthistle – £24 – Another notebook made from a recycled board game.
Clothing & Stuff
Obey Giant Parody Tshirt DOHBEY XLarge Adult by naturespresident – $20 – I’ll let the picture do the talking:
Heh. Other sizes are available as well.
The Many Faces of Homer Fleece Scarf Slim by Handmadecrafter – $7 – A handmade scarf with images of Homer in moods that range from pensive and happy to, I don’t know, horny?
Brain Slug Beanie Hat by ZucciniPancakes – $25 – Okay, this is technically from Futurama, but I too favor unreasonably large subsidies to the brain slug planet:
Unique handmade leather belt CARTOON silhouette design by WittyandCharming – £35 – This belt has a ton of silhouettes of famous cartoon characters on it, including Marge and Bart. I know it’s supposed to be his arm, but Fred Flintstone does kinda look like he’s got an erection in the first image there.
multicolored Simpson theme with white bluetip by threecatshats – $20 – A Santa hat, with the typical red replaced by Homer.
I LOVE GEEKS milhouse dress for toddlers by BarbandDawn – $12 – Aww, a clueless looking Milhouse in a heart in a dress for kids.
I Love Nerds Simpsons Re Cut Tank Top by ElevenThirtyEight – $10 – Milhouse again, but this time he’s described as nerd and the shirt is for an adult.
Mmm Beer Homer Simpson Fabric Art Brooch Large by BurnoutBazaar – £8 – I’ll just let the description speak for itself:
Homer Simpson art tends to be a little blokey or aimed at children so I thought I’d redress the balance with this more feminine homage to the animated family man and armchair philosopher. The central design is upcycled fabric from a Simpsons tie in printed, textured polyester. It has been fused to some vintage blue and white polka dot cotton, backed with sturdy blue canvas, machine stitched with a few zig-zag lines and adorned with beads, studs, sequins and contrasting red button.
The Simpsons Tie tshirt featuring ‘Where’s Bart’ by cutiepatoody – $17 – A t-shirt with a built in Simpsons tie.
Scrub HatsBart Simpson Classic by themaddesthatter – $10 – Depending on your point of view, this is either the best or worst thing you could see on a surgeon’s head as they wheel you into the operating place.
Bart Simpson Bandana Style Apron Top by ccquilter – $25 – A snazzy apron mixing and matching a couple of different Bart and other Simpsons cloths and images.
Don’t have a cow man by ClydesdalemeetBetty – $15 – A small-medium Bart t-shirt from 1990 cropped and fringed. The acid wash jeans in the photo are a nice touch.
Jewelry, Bags, & Such
Pink sprinkle donut necklace by BiffysBoutique – $5 – Pretty much just what it says.
SALE 10 OFF Marge Simpson US Postage Stamp Pendant by 17jewels – $26 – A Marge stamp put into a pendent.
Your Choice Simpsons Post Earrings by NinasCustomDesigns – $7 – Fabric covered earrings featuring your choice of characters.
Simpsons Radioactive man comic book wallet by AllisonKapner – $15 – The description brags that it is a wallet hand made from real comic books, and indeed it is.
Simpsons Where’s Bart Look and Find Tote by BusyBeeStitchery – $28 – A big Simpsons tote bag.
The Simpsons Mesenger Bag by TheTwistedCrafts – $30 – An old Simpsons sheet remade into a messenger bag. The cloth is character heads in little bubbles, and if you look at the strap you can see a queasy looking Wendell.
12 Crayon The Simpsons Caddy RollUp Crayon’s – $7 – A Simpsons print that can hold a dozen crayons and a doodle pad.
Handmade Bart Simpson Flannel TWIN size by KDMORECRAFTSANDMORE – $40 – Full sized kids blankets that will fit a twin bed. There’s a blue one with Bart and a pink one with Maggie.
The Simpsons Family Inspired Flat Back Button by SpazzysDelights – $5 – Bottle caps and Simpsons buttons made into little party favors.
BART SIMPSON KIDS/TRAVEL Pillowcase by MadeAtNanasHouse – $6 – Just what it says.
Matching Bart Simpson nursing pillow cover, bib and burp cloth by babygionet – $21 – The complete Bart nursing set.
CUSTOM Simpsons Christmas blanket baby girl boy by RockerByeBaby – $30 – A seriously customized baby blanket.
The UPCycled T Shirt Dress Seasons Greetings from by BravaBoutique – $38 – A child size dress made from an old Simpsons t-shirt.
Naughty Bart Simpson drawstring bag for library toys by LaughLand – $10 – A small bag for kids toys and similar items.
The Simpson Hair Bow by cherrynolivedesigns – $5 – Just what it says it is.
Simpsons print AIO all in one one size cloth diaper by anniemathesonallen – $25 – A cloth diaper with Bart spray painting his name. Comes with liners and is listed for babies up to 35lbs.
cartoon character 3D tiles personalised FREE by scarboroughrose – £4 – You can get your name or someone else’s on one of these little Simpsons (or Mickey or Garfield) tiles. Probably nice for a kid’s room.
Humorous Christmas holiday sampler by LucyFrog – $45 – A stitched reminder that Christmas is for celebrating the birth of Santa.
12 Bart & Orange UnPaper Towels Free by 3monkeysclothdiapers – $12 – Washable cloth towels with Bart Simpson on them.
Handmade Wall St Pen with Genuine Simpson Series – $25 – Someone took the Simpsons stamps and embedded them on a ball point pen. Clever.
Simpsons Dog Collar Comic Size Large – $16 – Exactly what it says, a dog collar with Simpsons characters all over it.
The Simpsons / Where is Bart Cornhole Bags by SwallowingtheMoon – $15 – Simpsons bags for playing cornhole, two sets of four.
The Simpsons Gift card holder by AuntyCarols – $4 – Just what it says, a sleeve for giving out cash or gift cards featuring the Simpson family.
Homer Simpson Christmas gift card holder by AuntyCarols – $4 – From the same seller, except this one has Homer dragging home the tree with the birdhouse still in it.
Simpsons with Bow and Jewel DSLR Camera Strap Cover by ThisMomandHer3Girls – $7 – Spice up your camera strap with Simpsons characters.
Lisa Simpson on Apple iPad vinyl decal by vinyl4ipad – $8 – Lisa in a saucy French beret that seems to scream, ‘I own a Mac!’.
The Simpsons Full Wine charm Set at a special price by lmfries – $40 – Keep your wine glasses identified at your swanky wine parties. Also available in smaller sets for $15.
Handmade Christmas Red Simpsons Bart Simpson Quilted by mhswebmom – $15 – An adult bib for when you don’t have the Sacred Parchment handy.
Handmade Quilted Bart Simpson adult bib by mhswebmom – $12 – Another Bart bib, but this one isn’t Christmas-y.
The Entire Simpson Family on a Fridge Magnet by wickedcoolstampstuff – $5 – All five family member stamps on a refrigerator magnet.
The Simpsons Comic Book Letters Any Amount by RoseberryStore – £6 – It’s six pounds per letter, but they’re big and look to fit well on a shelf or something similar.
the Simpsons Bartman blank card by Lizzlebugg – $4 – A handmade greeting card with Bartman swinging in front of the moon.
Simpson Family Cartoon Storage Box by DKdezines – $25 – A small storage box lined in and out with Simpsons characters.
Simpsons Nesting Doll Matryoshka Babushka russian by sersonart – $34 – Cool hand painted nesting dolls:
I wonder why Bart got top billing here.
Bart On His Throne Christmas Ornament by thinkingmage – $8 – A small Christmas tree ornament of Bart sitting down with a television remote.
Homer Simpson Ornament by jeeniebeansco – $8 – Felt Homer Simpson ornament.
Simpsons Her Majesty Marge The Queen Christmas by thinkingmage – $8 – A Christmas ornament made out of a Marge chess piece.
Simpsons Sir Bart The Knight Christmas Ornament by thinkingmage – $8 – Same seller and idea as above, but this one has Bart.
Homer Simpson Ornament by terryekennedy – $18 – A Homer Simpson tree ornament made from a dried gourd decorated with clay and paint. Neat.
Valentine’s Day Stuff
Let’s Bee Friends Set of 10 Valentines by nerdnook – $4 – Valentines Day cards to get clueless boys to realize you don’t think of them that way.
Simpson’s Valentines I ChooChoo Choose You by velvetelvii – $3 – Another cross stitch pattern, this time to make your own Valentine’s locomotive.