Archive for December, 2012

31
Dec
12

A Little Unintentional Meta-Blogging Humor for New Year’s Eve

Saturdays of Thunder12

“Good morning, everybody, and welcome to an event that harkens back to the carefree days of the Great Depression: the soap box derby.” – TV Announcer

Every once and a while I am moved to briefly praise the people up at WordPress HQ.  They do a regularly excellent job of making sure that everything works, the new features that they add tend far more toward “useful” than “bloat”, and their customer support, even for people who aren’t paying jack, is responsive, friendly and informative.  Sometimes, though, things go awry.

In this case it’s a very harmless awry, and it’s far more my fault than theirs, but I laughed when I saw it.  Unexpectedly, I got an e-mail from them yesterday, subject “Your Annual Report from WordPress.com”.  A quick search of my inbox reveals that in four years of blogging with them, this is the first time I’ve gotten an “Annual Report”.  Turns out it’s a new thing this year, a cutesy little flash graphic with your site’s stats that’s a way to encourage people to blog more.  This is part of the one for Dead Homer Society:

2012 Blogging Report

In case you can’t see the image, it’s titled “Crunchy numbers” and reads:

About 55,000 tourists visit Liechtenstein every year.  This blog was viewed about 970,000 times in 2012.  If it were Liechtenstein, it would take bout 18 years for that many people to see it.  Your blog had more visits than a small country in Europe! 

So this is some script that takes a look at your pageview stats, matches that with a predetermined list of numbers and figures, and then writes this paragraph into the e-mail.  If we’d had 50,000 pageviews this year, it’d probably say something like “About 12,000 tourists vomit on the Nauseator every year.  This blog was viewed about 50,000 times in 2012.  If it were the Nauseator, it would take about 4 years for that many people to vomit.  Your blog caused more people to vomit than a ride at Disney Land!”. They’re being a little disingenuous because that 970,000 number is pageviews, not unique visitors, so comparing it to tourists in Europe is like counting the number of visitors a country has by the number of people who request a brochure on their website. 

But those little idiosyncrasies aside, it’s the image at the right that cracked me up.  Unlike the cheery site stats and graphics that are supposed to make you the blogger feel good about all the time you spend complaining on the internet, it’s a chart that’s plummeting like a stone and has a distinctly depressing appearance to it.  They grabbed that particular image because the Zombie Simpsons page was by far our most popular this year (just north of 27,000 views), and if you include the child pages (which it obviously does), that graph is the first image.  It’s the average Amazon stars for the DVDs from Chapter 1, and the reason it’s dropping like a rock is because it’s about Zombie Simpsons.  Heh.

See you all in 2013. 

31
Dec
12

Quote of the Day

June, 2012

“Expiration date?  June, Nineteen Eighty Ni-uh, Two Thousand Twelve . . . yeah.” – Homer Simpson
“Homer, are you ordering junk of the TV again?” – Marge Simpson
“Shh, they’ll hear you!” – Homer Simpson

30
Dec
12

Quote of the Day

Lisa on Ice11

“Nice PJs, Simpson!  Did your mommy buy ’em for you?” – Jimbo Jones
“Of course she did.  Who else would have?” – Bart Simpson
“Alright, Simpson, you win this round.” – Jimbo Jones

Happy birthday, Tracey Ullman!

29
Dec
12

Quote of the Day

Lisa's Rival10

“Well, as a matter of fact, my refrigerator wasn’t running.  You spared me quite a bit of spoilage.  Thank you, anonymous young man.” – Principal Skinner
“D’oh!” – Bart Simpson

28
Dec
12

Reading Digest: Goodbye 2012 Edition

Treehouse of Horror X2

“Man alive, what a stink-o thousand years: blimp wrecks, teenagers . . . then again we had two teevee shows with Andy Griffith!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

For the second week in a row there’s just not much cooking on the internet.  But while Simpsons fandom may take it slow from time to time, it never sleeps, and this week we’ve got two links to people saying goodbye to the last year with some very similar Simpsons flair.  There’s also a bunch of great fan art, an electronic remix of the theme song, the Prime Minister of Canada’s Twitter aide engaging in some playful banter with Homer Simpson’s Twitter aide, a couple of fine people who agree with us, a foul person who stole an inflatable Homer Santa from a church in Britain, and plenty of other little tidbits of Simpsons fandom. 

Enjoy.

Me and my friends bro tat! Click for the best… – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this set of three matching Hank Scorpio tattoos on the legs of three friends.  It’s also a great choice of Scorpio image, with his shit eating grin right after he tells Homer that he didn’t even hand over his coat.  Fantastic.  (via @DailySimpsons)

No Matter How Bad It Gets, I Can’t Quit Homer Simpson – I respectfully disagree:

I had an argument recently with a few fellow Simpsons fans—the kind that refuse to watch any episode that aired after the Clinton administration. They love this show as much as I do—the best episodes are in their bones—and yet they gave up on it over a decade ago. I’ve never been one of those. Just like Marge Simpson, I stuck by the old warhorse, through bad years and worse years and the years where they thought it was a good idea to have Lady Gaga guest star.

Yes, the show is better now than it was a decade ago.

The author goes on to praise some of the episodes from this season, but I’m still not buying it.  This is just a rendition on the perpetually misguided “it’s getting better” argument that is one of the last refuges of Zombie Simpsons defenders.  It wasn’t true three years ago, and it isn’t true now. 

Who Watches the Simpsons? by *TonyDennison on deviantART – Great drawing of the Simpsons as the Watchmen.  Lisa as Ozymandias with Snowball II as Bubastis is a great touch, as is the bloodstain on the donut in the title.  (Thanks to reader Robert K for sending this in!)

Moe -The Simpsons by ~serushins on deviantART – Manga style drawing of Moe with an awesomely angry/grumpy/spiteful look on his face.  (Thanks again to Robert K!) 

The 2012 End of The World…In 10 Words – This is the end . . . of high prices.

The Simpsons – Cool fan made papercraft Kang and Kodos.  (Also, “Homie Brown”.)

A Fresh Start – I can’t believe I didn’t see this in more places, but while I usually find Comic Book Guy images of “Worst X Ever” lame, “Worst Apocalypse Ever” is pretty funny.

The Worst – It’s another “Worst Apocalypse Ever”, and what makes it noteworthy is that it while it uses the same Comic Book Guy pose and the exact same phrasing, it’s a different picture.  That’s how you know something has reached total cultural penetration, when multiple people do the exact same thing independently.  It’s convergent social evolution. 

Successful First Generation Immigrants Go to Law School – Now this is a good way to approach life:

There is a good chance that there is a lot wrong with me. But I like to think of myself as Mr. Burns in The Simpsons: all these little sicknesses fight to cause me harm, but there are so many of them that they get entangled amongst themselves, and fail to hurt me.

Weekend Remix: Well This Ain’t Shelbyville – A remix of the theme song:

I would never expect The Simpsons theme — probably one of the most recognizable openings in television today — to experience some type of electronica makeover. But that’s exactly what happened with Kiwistar’s remix. And boy is it a fun trip.

Somehow, Kiwistar managed to blend in some neat jungle jazz with the bright original opening, almost as if it was all naturally meant to come together. The song begins with its own unique groove with no clue as to how the opening is going to fit into this audio puzzle.

But when that familiar melody does manage to slide in, you can’t help but admire how seamless the transition is.

You can listen to it for yourself here.

Holiday Bacon Summit – That official Homer Simpson Twitter account sucks ass, but apparently it and the Prime Minister of Canada (all tucked away down there) shared a love of bacon with the world.  That exchange prompted this:

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper took time out of his busy schedule this afternoon to discuss bacon with Homer Simpson.  I expect this to be featured on every Canadian news program or I’m leaving the country.

Heh.

Stuart’s always slacking off – I stand by my hiring practices. 

Simpsons’ Yeardley Smith Donates $25K To Group Challenging Prop 8 – The headline says it all.  Well done, Lisa.

Homer Simpson stolen from Manchester church – You bastards:

Ivy Manchester Church, on Barlow Moor Road, Didsbury, said the illuminated inflatable was last seen on Thursday.

Members at the church think the figure, which had been up for two weeks, was taken between 01:00 and 08:00 GMT.

Church leader Anthony Delaney has promised a reward of a box of mince pies for any information.

He said: "He had become a bit of a local landmark, we were starting to say that we were the church with the Homer on the roof.

"I went to check it in the morning and he had gone, so we are all feeling a bit deflated.

"We would forgive whoever it was that took it if they brought it back, in the spirit of Christian Christmas forgiveness."

I’m generally pro-stealing from churches, but that is just awful.  There is a picture of what it looked like before it got stolen at the link. 

Some wise words from Marge Simpson in 1994 – The show was always ahead of its time.

She Wears Fashion – UK Fashion blog: BART SIMPSON! – Another model wearing a shirt from that high fashion Bart Simpson line. 

While I can honestly say I’ve told you the truth, I may not have told you all of it. – I rather liked The Hobbit, but not this much:

As I write this I’ve been home for about an hour, and I’m still absorbing everything.  Plus it’s getting to be past my bedtime and I have work tomorrow.  And I kind of feel like this -

Homer always cracks me up there. 

Happy Birthday Harry – A nice little birthday wish for Harry Shearer:

Harry Julius Shearer seems to be good value for money; he was hired to provide voices for the cartoon series, The Simpsons and has since provided voices for: Mr Burns, Smithers, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Otto, Reverend Lovejoy, Dr. Hibbert, Kent Brockman, Dr. Marvin Monroe, Lenny, McBain, Scratchy, Judge Snyder and several other minor and guest characters.

All I Want for Christmas – My Top Ten Christmas Episodes – “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” and Futurama’s “Xmas Story” both make the cut here.

TV Tuesday: The 5 biggest TV Grinches – Burns makes it at #4 here.

Boo-runs – Heh.

Welcome to my world 24 – Also heh.

TV Thursday #9: Which bag? – Don’t you want your sugar bag?

Can I Borrow a Feeling? – Someone else who agrees with us (plus YouTube):

Took me a day to remember the episode but when I did I was cracking up the whole day and night.  I like this era of Simpson’s.  The really early ones when they were on the Tracy Ullman Show weren’t that great at all and I find they’re getting desperate for laughs in the last decade.

Indeed they are.
Milking The Shark: TV As Vapid Cash Cow – And finally, someone who agrees with us by not only citing Zombie Simpsons as an example of the horrors of show running too long, but also invented a new term: “milking the shark”.  That’s as good a way to describe it as I’ve seen.

28
Dec
12

Quote of the Day

Homer the Vigilante9

“Good Lord, my Stormin’ Norman commemorative plates stolen! . . . again.” – Principal Skinner

27
Dec
12

Quote of the Day

It's For Bart

“Oh, my God!  Someone’s trying to kill me! . . . Oh, wait.  It’s for Bart.” – Homer Simpson




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Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.

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