Archive for the 'Simpsons' Category

11
May
15

Behind Us Forever: Bull-E

Whacking Day14

“I guess I’ve always used violence as a way of getting attention.” – Jimbo Jones
“Yes, yes!  Me too!” – Nelson Muntz

Bart gets bullied, so Marge gets the town council to pass an anti-bullying law, which allows Wiggum to lock up a bunch of random people, which puts Homer into group therapy for bullying Flanders, which causes Homer to become a hero, which causes Flanders to resent him and make him beg for forgiveness.  That terrible sentence took you much less time to read than this episode would to watch.

– Weird couch gag with all the soccer balls, but at least it was brief.

– And we are off to a bad start.  Willie explains to Skinner that he’s going back to Scotland and that he got Johnny Mathis as his replacement, which leads to a shot of Mathis cutting hedges while singing.  Expository celebrity crap started early this week.

– Hey, something not entirely terrible!  While reading the morning announcements, Skinner announces a school dance as a, “treat for the popular children and a chance for the rest of you to look within yourselves and ask what’s wrong.”  Of course, it’s barely part of a larger sentence and is immediately followed by Agnes materializing out of nowhere to yell at Skinner, but that was at least an attempt at cynical satire.

– Because nothing gets explained on this show only once, now we’re at the Simpson house with Marge pulling a flyer out of Bart’s backpack and reminding everyone that there’s a dance coming up.

– Homer is spinning his fence with the Flanders like a propeller to decide which one of them gets the part Ned just painted.

– Montage with a Soul Train opening called “School Train”.

– Okay, the fake Thomas the Tank Engine saying, “I’m going to die, children, and so will you someday” was good.  It, of course, was immediately taken too far by hauling him off to be crushed in a press, but I’ll take what I can get.

– Ugh.  The “Puberty Demon” just showed up and told us who he was after Bart asked him directly.

– Bart is now dancing with some new girl.  Didn’t get get a new girlfriend last week?

– Hey, if you’re gonna pay for a Daft Punk song, you gotta let your second montage of the episode really go on to get your money’s worth.

– Bart won a dancing trophy and is now outside getting beaten up by the bullies.

– After an anti-bullying speech at the dinner table, Marge is now at a town council meeting to, presumably, repeat what she just said.

– Yup.

– They passed a bullying law, so now Wiggum just arrested the bullies while restating what we saw in the previous scene.

– Wiggum is now explaining to Brockman what he’s going to do next, start arresting adults.

– I guess we’re on an arrest sequence, so far it’s Krusty, Apu, and Bumblebee Man before Lisa starts restating what we were just told would happen and then saw happen.

– There goes Chalmers.

– It took a while to get there, but Rod and Todd had a fantasy about Jesus being bullied before God complained that he raised a wuss.  Not bad.

– And now the jail is almost full and it’s Homer’s turn.

– This episode really needs a B-plot.

– Oof, they just cuffed Homer, but then he walked out of the house with his hands uncuffed and slipped on a slip-n-slide.  This show has an attention span of approximately four seconds.

– And Homer has been sentenced to a bully rehabilitation program being run by Albert Brooks.  Hi, Albert!

– Ugh, Brooks is mostly monologing here.  It’s not great.

– Now Agnes is crying.

– Now Chalmers is yelling.

– Now Homer’s yelling about Flanders.  This scene is interminable.

– Brooks told Homer to go “deeper” and Homer lowered his voice.  Rimshot.

– Brooks is still yelling at Homer.

– After a short PSA style ex-bully commercial, we are back in the therapy room.  Ugh.

– And now Homer is some kind of celebrity, throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game.

– Homer is still a hero, now riding in a parade float.  Meanwhile, the Flanders boys are on their second go-round of pointing out how unfair that is.  Expositastic!

– Flanders is now directly telling Homer how he feels before ending with, “Now do you feel remorse?”.  I do so enjoy it when characters tell us exactly how they’re feeling then ask other characters to do the same.

– Homer’s now on his knees begging Flanders for forgiveness.  This could take a while.

– Montage!

– And the story ends with Flanders forgiving Homer.

– But since that didn’t fill up the allotted time, we’re back to the School Train, with Otto on LSD and Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus yelling at him.  They’ve really taken a shine to these post-story sketches.  By Season 35, this will just be a sketch comedy show.

Anyway, the numbers are in and they are right where you’d expect.  Last night, just 2.78 million people decided that bullying might not be so bad after all.  That’s good for #3 on the all time least watched list and has pushed Season 26’s average viewership down to 4.90 million, breaking Season 25’s record of 4.99.  There’s one more to go, and the lower it gets, the tinier the audience for Season 27 will need to be to break this record again next year.

08
May
15

Reading Digest: The Show Will Go On, The DVDs Will Not Edition

Lisa the Skeptic6

“Come on, who wants to complain with me?” – Lisa Simpson

The obvious big news this week was the renewal.  For those of us who were paying attention, it wasn’t the least bit surprising.  For the overwhelming majority of people who have the good sense not to be paying attention, it was big news.  So the Simpsons signal-to-noise ratio went bonkers and, as is always the case when that happens, this is a pretty short Reading Digest.  We’ve only got one renewal link, and that was just because it has a marvelous headline.

In other not-news news, there will be no more Simpsons DVDs.  Once again, we have a lone link because there just isn’t much here.  When they did that cash grab Blu-Ray/DVD release of Season 20 (sans extras or commentaries) back in 2009/2010, I joked that they were probably never going to catch up because at the rate they were doing them, Season 20 on DVD wouldn’t be coming out until like 2018, and does anyone really think people are going to be buying DVDs in 2018?  Well, it turns out there are some people who thought that, and they are upset about this.  We have an outraged YouTube video from one of them, but I only made it about a fifth of the way through the fifteen minutes runtime.  I have long experience caring about things most people don’t care about, but there are limits.

But, hey, we’ve also got some fan art, more cross stitch, an excellent piece of usage from a financial analyst (of all people), and more.

Enjoy.

MR BURNS – Fan made drawing of Burns and Smithers in what I assume is one of Smithers’ favorite positions.  (NOTE: It’s not as dirty as I just made it sound.)

Etsy: Moe Szyslak Cross Stitch – The Moe cross stitch has been completed.

The Simpsons go to the boards in Mr. Burns: A Post-Electric Play – Backstory on the play coming to Toronto.

128th-Final, Round 8: Homie the Clown vs. Bart’s Girlfriend – Oof, that’s tough, though that is a great screen grab of Homer and Flanders from “Homie the Clown”.

Lisa’s Subsitute – This:

-I like Skinner explaining, in excruciating detail, how Lyme Disease works…to a second-grade class.

Meanwhile, Hoover’s standing there getting queasier and queasier.  The Simpsons: making malignant spirochetes funny.

Round 1, Battle 11 – (S.3 Ep.13) Radio Bart vs (S. 9 Ep. 22) Trash of the Titans – That’s “Radio Bart” by knockout in the first so hard that the sanctioning body should be ashamed of itself.

Round 1, Battle 13 (S. 9 Ep. 18) This Little Wiggy vs. (S. 5 Ep. 15) Deep Space Homer – Going against Season 9 again, for sure.

Round 1, Battle 14 – (S.4 Ep. 9) Mr Plow vs (S.4 Ep. 14) Brother From the Same Planet – But this one is too close to call.

The Simpsons First-Impression Matrix – Su-san from the country club would probably scoff at this.

‘The Simpsons’s Nancy Cartwright Made A Bartman Statue Out Of Clay – That Bart statue from last week was actually made by Cartwright.

Postmodernity in ‘The Simpsons’ – Always one of my favorite aspects of the show:

Metanarratives play a key role in the structure of ‘The Simpsons’. Authority and authoritative figures are ever-present in Springfield and are almost always cast in a negative light.

And people wonder why kids who were born after the show went south still love it.

Twenty Quotes from The Simpsons That Prove This Show is THE GREATEST – One from Zombie Simpsons, but other than that it’s a great list (and quite original, too, don’t often see some of these on quote lists).

No More “The Simpsons” DVD Sets – I have a hard time caring about this, but that is an inspired .gif choice.  In related DVD news, reader Dastardly Devious sent in this YouTube rant about the DVDs.  I stopped at the three minute mark when he said he wasn’t addressing people who are capable of admitting the show sucks now, but if you seriously care about Zombie Simpsons DVDs and teevee DVDs in general, I guess you might like it.

Deutsche Bank Bart Simpson ASX chart – Excellent financial/visual usage:

Morgan noted a chart he’d seen which attempted to show recent market tops on the S&P500 were spread 1897 days apart and showing we’re now at the end of the next point in that cycle. Which prompted this:

I usually put this sort of analysis in the same bucket as astrology and tarot card reading, but I had a technical look at our own market and was also alarmed with what I saw. Do you see what I see in there? A Patrick Star gave way to a half-Batman and then yielded to a full Bart Chart. Janet Yellen is right – there is nowhere to go but down from here.

bart-stock-chart

It’s even the Michael Keaton Batman!  Well done.

Bart’s Nightmare Review (A Doug Walker Tribute) – No, it was not a great game.

Fox Renews THE SIMPSONS, Water is Wet – Old news, but great headline.

Guessin’ Ages – Heh.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons dad bod… – Heh.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons awkward laughing… – Troy McClure catching himself laughing from “138th Episode Spectacular”.

Arctic Characters and Character Arcs – Excellent usage:

This is partially a legacy issue. The original crucible for the characters was in the form of short stories, almost like a TV anthology series, where each episode ended with the characters back in the position they were in at the start.

[…]

In the words of philosopher and influential third-wave feminist Lisa Simpson:

“Don’t worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make the occasional smart-alec quip, and by next week we’ll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.”

It is the nit pick of nit picks, but Lisa does say “an occasional” not “the occasional”.  Still, that hardly matters.  Great quote and very apt.

JOYRICH SIMPSONS SWEATSHIRT POLKADOTS / BLACK – More high end Simpsons clothing.

Parleok Baut – And knockoff but kinda looks like high end Simpsons clothing.  No idea what language that is, though.

 

05
May
15

Zombie Simpsons Renewed For Forty-Four More Episodes

Like Father, Like Clown14

♫”If this old clown was found dead in his bed tomorrow/
I’d be in heaven, still doing this show!”♫ – Krusty the Klown

This here blog has been live on the internet for six years and change.  In that time we’ve seen four renewal announcements, including last night’s.  Here are the details:

– two more full production runs of 22 episodes each

– will take the show through Season 28 and give it the first seven episodes of a Season 29(!)

– new guaranteed episode total of 625(!!)

– the next time to look for a renewal announcement will be October-ish of 2016

– the next deadline for a renewal announcement will be May-ish of 2017

Having read through a whole bunch of news reports on this, /Film easily wins the prize for best lead:

In TV years, The Simpsons is already the equivalent of the Grail Knight from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, and the series isn’t giving up its post any time soon.

They also took the time to say what everyone’s thinking:

And, let’s face it, you probably only watch the new episodes when Fox breaks out a splashy couch gag by a high-profile artist (yep, welovethose) or when the show makes a big change by killing off a character or featuring a surprising gimmick or guest star. But after more than twenty years, the roster of guests with the power to surprise is pretty small.

The Simpsons is in an unusual position in that the current episodes seem more like reminders for prior seasons and merchandise than the other way around.

As for the next renewal announcement, rubbercat.net/simpsons has it covered.

04
May
15

Behind Us Forever: Let’s Go Fly a Coot

Lemon of Troy14

“Hey, look, someone’s attractive cousin!” – Bart Simpson

This week on Zombie Simpsons, a bunch of old Air Force pilots show up to threaten Homer into spending time with his dad, or something.  Meanwhile, Milhouse’s hot cousin (voiced by Carice van Houten, a/k/a She Who Queefs Shadows on Game of Thrones) likes to use e-cigarettes.  Nothing much happens in either.

– Short couch gag and shortened opening, don’t see that too often.

– We open at Milhouse’s super elaborate birthday party.  Homer picks up the take home bag and helpfully tells us what each of the contents are as he picks them up.

– Homer is now plotting out loud against elaborate birthday parties.

– And montage.

– Ugh, and as soon as the montage is over, Marge pops up to ask, “Homer Simpson, do you know anything about these epic birthday fails?”.

– More witty, sparkling dialogue:

Homer: I’m not afraid of Big Birthday!  Ahh!  Big Birthday!

– Now there’s a guy in a suit telling us what we’ve just been watching.

– The guy in the suit is still here, and now for some reason he’s threatening Homer with never having balloon animals at his kids birthday parties.  This got super weird faster than usual.

– Now Homer has thrown a party and at air museum for Rod Flanders.  If this was coherent enough to be confusing, I’d be confused.

– Grampa’s old Air Force buddies (don’t ask) just flew in out of the sky.

– Uh, Homer just fed Grampa a carrot and then led him away by his bolo tie.

– Milhouse’s attractive cousin just showed up with an e-cigarette.  This should provide a healthy mix of hapless topicality and expository nonsense.

– The old guys just showed up at the house so Homer can fight them in his underwear.

– Remember what I said about nonsense exposition?  Here’s Milhouse:

Milhouse: Everybody’s got one gift.  Mine is portable, indoor Dutch shuffleboard.

He then puts the game on a shelf labeled “Portable Foreign Games”.  Ugh.

– Apu is now ranting about e-cigarettes.

– But there was a good sign joke in the background.  A video game called “Marbury vs. Madison”.

– The old Air Force guy is now babbling about something.

– And they’re at the movies.  We got another decent sign gag, “The Exhaustibles 3: Arthritis Will Unite Us”.

– But then there was a preview for a movie about a “dystopian future”.  Homer then started listing off dystopian future movies.  It goes on for a while.

– They did mention the Mr. Burns play in the list though.  That was nice of them.

– Oh, the Air Force guy was apparently with them the whole time.  Huh, he didn’t do anything during that whole listing thing.

– Expositing crappy jokes is just what they do:

Air Force Guy: If you love your father, you’ll make sure he doesn’t get disoriented trying to work the knobless faucet.
Grampa Simpson: I’m too cold to trigger the infra-red.
Homer: Ugh

We then see Homer waiting outside the bathroom.

– Now the old Air Force guys are holding Homer at gunpoint to make him hug Grampa.  Yeesh.

– Back in the B-plot, Bart and Milhouse’s cousin are reciting lists of things to each other.

– Marge and Luann just showed up out of nowhere. to catch Bart with the e-cigarette.

– Bart just ran into the kitchen to say that they’re sending Milhouse’s cousin back to Holland.  This show seems to enjoy out of the blue plot swerves.

– And now we’re in a flashback.

– And Lisa interrupted the flashback.  Though she wasn’t there before Grampa started it.

– We’re back in the flashback and Abe is flying a test jet despite the fact that he wasn’t a pilot.

– This flashback keeps going.  We just got a Jack Kerouac reference explained to us.

– And it ends with the revelation that some waitress was really Homer’s mom.  That doesn’t really have any bearing on the rest of this story, but they seemed to think it was a conclusion of some kind.

– Now Bart is chasing Milhouse’s cousin down at the airport.

– Bart is now expositing about, ah screw it.  There’s only a minute to go and this isn’t worth recapping.

– Milhouse has a lizard tongue.

– And then the A-plot showed up to . . . not resolve itself.  Weird.

Anyway, the numbers are in and you’ll be unsurprised to learn that they continue to be historically bad.  Last night, just 3.11 million people wished they were watching Carice van Houten on Game of Thrones instead of this.  That makes it #4 on the all time least watched list and leaves Season 26 with an overall average of 5.00 million.  Season 25’s average was 4.99 million and there are two weeks to go, so Season 26 is almost certainly going to take the title of least watched overall.

01
May
15

Reading Digest: Real Life Soul Donut Edition

Treehouse of Horror IV20

“Well, well, finishing something?” – The Devil

This week, someone not only made Simpsons donuts and posted the recipe, they made the Soul Donut!  Excellent.  In addition to that we’ve got fan art everywhere from crosstitch and felt to statues and house paint.  Plus there’s some excellent usage, more episode rundowns and reviews, and more.

Enjoy.

Note: Still no news on contract renewal.  I continue to assume there will be a full Season 27.

Homer Simpson’s Donut Recipe – Just what it says, with easy to follow instructions and this:

real-forbidden-donut

Etsy: Marge Simpson Cross Stitch – Excellent and for sale.

Works in Progress – And coming soon from the same woman as the link above, Moe!

Simpson – Fan made Homer out of felt.  Excellent.

5 ‘Simpsons’ Episodes That Could Have Been The Series Finale – “Behind the Laughter” still gets my vote.

This website archives everything Bart Simpson has ever written on the blackboard – Metro.co.uk rediscovered that site that has all the chalkboard images on it, so it was making the rounds this week.

Brighton students wake up to massive Simpsons mural being painted on their home – Neat:

Renowned Brighton graffiti artist Aroe MSK was commissioned by the landlord to paint the striking artwork on the house in Hartington Road as a result of his Viaduct Road piece last month.

There’s a couple of good pictures at the link.

Weekend Gaming Goodness – Awesome:

The Simpsons trivia tournament was, as many predicted it would be, perfectly cromulent.
The questions were tough, the players were nerds. I went into that tournament all but certain we’d win; we placed fourth.

I am an early Simpsons nut and the questions were all from seasons three to ten. How could I fail? I’ll tell you how: questions like What is the name of the gun store from which Homer buys his gun?

Fourth. Shameful.

Really though, my friends and I had a blast. The host was dressed as Otto and the prize for winning was an inanimate carbon rod.

Our team name? Worker and Parasite.

PeteSnyder on Twitter – Apparently there’s now a “Bartman” sculpture in front of the FOX News headquarters:

BartmanFoxNews

Old Money – I love that wool shawls are in “Activewear”:

-“Grandma’s World” has to be real store somewhere.

Brush With Greatness – Ah, for when Homer’s screams were quick and meant something:

-My favorite part of the episode? Probably Homer’s reaction to seeing Burns in his house. He screams the most abrupt scream in the history of television.

Round 1, Battle 6 – (S.9 Ep. 16) Dumbbell Indemnity vs (S.2 Ep. 1) Bart Gets an “F” – That’s an easy one.

Round 1, Battle 7 – (S.8 Ep.14) The Twisted World of Marge Simpson vs. (S.7 Ep. 11) Scenes from a Class Struggle in Springfield – That’s close, but I gotta go with those stuck up rich snobs and their abalone sandwiches.

Round 1 – Battle 8 – (S.8 Ep.16) Brother From Another Series vs (S.8 Ep. 20) The Canine Mutiny – Yeah, gotta go with the Sideshow brothers there.

Round 1 Battle 9 – (S. 2 Ep. 22) Blood Feud vs (S. 3 Ep. 5) Homer Defined – Oof, that’s rough.

TV Pick of the Day – Heh:

Watch it for: Some dark Simpsons gags (think cops and brothels), a lesson in the dangers of the household rake.

You may remember me from such shows watched from the set of $ale….. – Heh.

Tao of Homer – Philly sports bar heh.

Hello Kitty x The Simpsons – One of the shirts in the wild on a real person.

This leaked Sony email helps explain why most Hollywood movies are garbage – Excellent usage:

Shore’s email (Subject: “Spidey thought”) reads like the pitch scene from the Poochie episode of The Simpsons (“He needs more attitude!“) It imagines an EDM blasting, Tough Mudder-running, Snapchat-obsessed douchebag Spider-Man.

Sony: The Studio That Makes FOX Look Competent.

Doctor Who and The Simpsons among the most important television articles on Wikipedia – Well, most referenced, anyway.

The Simpsons Transcend the Apocolypse in Mr. Burns: A Post-Electric Play – The Vegas version of the play has some seriously creepy Simpsons masks.  Bravo.

Ignore the news and watch The Simpsons – Good advice:

Thoughtful investors know their job is to restrain the reflexive response, which produces behaviour that is the very antithesis of intelligent investing.

I follow the maxim of a commentator who said: “The best thing to do at key turning points is to ignore the news completely and watch the Simpsons”.

I have found this to be good advice.

Minecraft PS4 Adds The Simpsons DLC This Week – That is all.

Cate Street deal shows danger of crony capitalism – Excellent reference:

Given all that, the idea that Maine might end up playing Springfield to Cate Street’s Lyle Lanley should come as no surprise. The only difference between the Cate Street scheme and Lyle Lanley selling Springfield a monorail in “The Simpsons” with the city’s nuclear fallout settlement money is that at least Springfield was lucky enough to have Marge Simpson as a lone voice of reason. Though she was completely ignored, she argued to use the settlement money on traditional infrastructure improvements, like repairing Main Street.
Under the dome in Augusta, there was no Marge Simpson: the New Market tax credit plan sailed through with bipartisan support.

New trending GIF tagged tv cartoon the simpsons… – Burns and his favorite word.

New trending GIF tagged tv cartoon the simpsons… – Nerd!

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons woody allen… – That’s noted taxpayer Willie Nelson, not Woody Allen.

28
Apr
15

Behind Us Forever: The Kids Are All Fight

And Maggie Makes Three15

“It all began about two years ago before Maggie was even born.  Bart, you were Lisa’s age, and Lisa, you were the age Bart was several years ago.” – Homer Simpson

As it has doddered along these last few years, Zombie Simpsons has started to turn to flash forward episodes a bit more often where Bart and Lisa are adults with kids of their own.  For “The Kids Are All Fight”, they went the other way, going backwards to some indeterminate time a few years ago when Bart was four and Lisa was two.  The story, which was even more incoherent than usual, involved little Bart and Lisa escaping the house and going on a wacky adventure that consisted of a series of disconnected scenes.

– And we are off to a poor start with Moe telling us out loud that he doesn’t know how to work his cash register.

– Homer found an old roll of film in his jacket, and then Carl appeared out of nowhere to tell Homer that he can’t get film developed anymore.

– It’s okay, now they’re developing it in the bar, which leads to the whole family being at Moe’s, where the expository dialogue flows like water.

– After a brief montage showing old pictures of Bart and Lisa fighting, we get one of those adorable in-episode retcons so Marge can scold Homer for not stepping in while he took the photos.

– As an example of why this show can’t write a decent joke anymore, I present their attempt to make fun of the Planet of The Apes movies, in its bloated entirety:

Marge:  Well, it’s quite a story, a story of a special bond between a brother and a sister.
Bart:  I’d say our story’s a tragedy, like the Planet of the Apes.  The tragedy being they can never stop making them!
Marge:  Hey, come on, the first and eighth movies were pretty darn good.

It has nothing to do with what’s going on, involves Bart speaking two sentences, one of which is an explanation of the other, and then Marge finally getting to a punchline that is itself buried in the middle of another overly long sentence.  Whether or not you think that’s funny is up to you, but that mass of words never would’ve made it past the first draft of an actual Simpsons script.

– Flashback Bart and Lisa are now clubbing each other with books while Marge looks on helplessly.

– Oops, we’re back at Moe’s in the present now, where the family describes a time they went to Kwik-E-Mart.  Mmm, tell don’t show.

– Yet another example of how messy these scripts are: after once again telling us (for about the sixth time in three minutes) that Bart and Lisa were always fighting, Marge says, “That’s why we never developed that roll.”  Not only is this line completely unnecessary (the scene ends right after it) but it contradicts the fact that we just saw Homer pull this forgotten roll from his suit.  I don’t care about inter-episode continuity, and I recognize that intra-episode continuity is too much for Zombie Simpsons, but these two things didn’t even have a commercial break in between them.

– And we’re back in the past, where Bart is in the clown bed.

– They just went to slow motion and played Also Sprach Zarathustra while Homer went in to strangle Bart.  Was that supposed to be the first time that happened?  Who knows?  They had Bart smash a lamp over Homer’s head right after.  Hey, ate some time at least, right?

– Guh, this is bad:

Marge: Homer, I just the worst dream.  I lost one of the kids at the World’s Fair.
Homer:  It’s okay, which one?
Marge: Brisbane, ’88.
Homer:  Oh, that’s so horrible, baby!
Marge:  I know.  I know.

Again, you have one punchline (and not a particularly strong one, if you ask me) buried amid line after line of setup and whatever it is you call it when your joke goes on for two more lines after your weak punchline.

– Now they’re at the expository counselor’s office.

– Hey, Grandma Flanders is back, only now she’s less senile and her voice is less scratchy.  Is stuff like this and the clown bed supposed to be fan service or is it just filler?

– Now she’s babysitting and screaming.  So . . . filler.

– And speaking of filler, Marge and Homer are apparently getting dressed for brunch (and having an expository conversation about what they’re doing, Marge even informed us when she zipped up her dress).  Keep in mind they’re showing us this after the scene where Grandma Flanders looked to have been babysitting for quite some time already.  Did they put these in the episode in the wrong order, or did nobody care?

– And now Grandma Flanders is dead.  So . . . definitely filler.

– Homer and Marge stayed home to screw, so, naturally, Homer had to recap what we just saw, “My favorite kind of weekend morning, a sexy snuggle while our rotten kids are someone else’s problem.”  Homer then cackles maniacally for 10-15 seconds.

– Now Bart is riding through traffic on a big wheeler.  Jebus, I’m bored.

– Aaaaand we’re back to hopping around in the story.  Apparently, Homer and Marge did go to brunch, and now they’ve discovered that Bart and Lisa are gone.  This is chronologically confusing and sloppy even by student film standards.

– Apparently, Gil is being hired by Wiggum now.  There is yelling.

– Bart was arguing with the bullies, but then Lisa showed up even after we saw Bart drive away in front of another car.  Oof, this is a mess, none of these scenes go together at all.

– I’m zoning out now.  Bart and Lisa are at the retirement home.

– Homer just shot a pizza.  Then there was exposition.

– More random scenes are happening.  I’m done.

– And we end on a weirdly out of place Seinfeld musical beat while Hibbert talks to the Flandereses, which is itself ended by Lisa, back in the present, saying, “You’ve had three natural endings already.”  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they know these episodes are slapdash and pathetic, they just don’t care.

Anyway, the numbers are in and they remain at historic lows.   On Sunday, just 3.30 million viewers wished they were watching “Lisa’s First Word”.  That is up ever so slightly from last week’s 3.23, but still good for #6 on the all time least watched list.  There are three episodes to go, and barring a major surge in viewership, Season 26 is going to easily eclipse Season 25’s record as the least watched ever.

24
Apr
15

Reading Digest: Perfectly Timed Door Slam Edition

Lisa's Substitute11

“I’m glad I’m not crying, because I would hate for you think that what I’m about to say is based on emotion.  But you, sir, are a baboon!” – Lisa Simpson
“Me?” – Homer Simpson
“Yes, you!  Baboon!  Baboon!  Baboon!  Baboon!” – Lisa Simpson
“I don’t think you realize what you’re saying.” – Homer Simpson
“Baboon!” – Lisa Simpson

First off, sorry for the lack of Compare & Contrast this week.  I’m still in the thick of it at work and didn’t have time.  (Things will – he typed hopefully – ease off starting next week.)  In regular news, we’ve got some great links this week, including outstanding fan art (there’s a whole exhibition of the stuff!), a brand new Simpsons blog, some excellent usage, and an on-point article about one of those perfect little subtleties in “Lisa’s Substitute” (which, coincidentally enough, aired for the first time twenty four years ago tomorrow).

Enjoy.

The Timing of a Door Slam on The Simpsons – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this fantastic observation about the end of “Lisa’s Substitute”.  It’s one of those things you don’t notice because it’s so flawlessly done.  Well worth a click.

Simpsons-inspired art exhibition opens in Liverpool – With lots and lots of pics!  The Marge mirror and the Thrillhouse thing are outstanding.

The Simpsons’ top 30 movie references – Great list (although it bafflingly leaves out The Shining) at Den of Geek.  Two unsurprising things deserve note: 1) none of the entries are from Zombie Simpsons and 2) they don’t mention that at all because nobody wants the hassle.

Ted Cruz loves ‘The Simpsons,’ but he botched his favorite quote – He was close enough for moderate usage.

A Trap Music-Style Remix of Homer Simpson’s ‘Treehouse of Horror’ Meltdown – Pretty good.

10 Simpsons Characters As Real Humans – A decent collection of comparisons that have mostly been done before.

Cocktail Recipe: The Marge Simpson – I’d probably go with gin over vodka, but that’s just me.

MR. BURNS: A POST-ELECTRIC PLAY to Run 5/13-6/7 at Portland Playhouse – And the play goes to Portland.

The Character Files: Rafael – He’ll always be the Sarcastic Guy to me.

The Character Files: Very Tall Man – I do find him comic while driving his automobile, but I probably wouldn’t say that to his face.

Catch-23 No. 27 ‘Big Other’ Part 8 – Heh.

Instagram Crush: @madnails – Great set of Simpsons nail art.

5 ‘Simpsons’ Characters You Didn’t Know Were Voiced By Hank Azaria – Uproxx must do good pageviews on their endless array of Simpsons posts.  I’m certainly in favor of them keeping it up.

‘Simpsons’ Photos To Describe Losing Your Virginity – What about that Stock Footage Festival the kids went to?

Moving Away from Evergreen Terrace – For anyone wondering why the DVDs got canned, this, from a longtime fan, should explain things:

When the season 17 set was released last December, I held off on buying it because it didn’t feel worth the week-of-release sale price. We have to have it someday because Sideshow Bob is on the cover, but perhaps we can wait for Black Friday pricing. No hurry. We haven’t even cracked open the season 16 set.

Habit buying ain’t gonna pay the freight.

Top 5: Television Cartoon Dogs – Santa’s Little Helper comes in at #3, though I can’t really argue with Scooby at #1.

The Classic Simpsons Battle Royale! – Another site is going through the episodes, tournament style.

Round 1, Battle 1 – Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy VS I Married Marge – That’s a tough one.

Round 1 Battle 2 – Old Money vs Like Father Like Clown – Also a tough one.

Round 1 Battle 3 – (S. 12, Ep.6) The Computer Wore Menace Shoes vs (S. 10, Ep. 23) Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo – Whereas here I can just go with Season 10.

Crack open a virtual Duff with Homer Simpson on his legendary couch – Someone created a virtual Simpson home you can wander about if you happen to be wearing one of those VR headsets.

This episode of Mad Men felt like a spinoff – Excellent reference:

Todd VanDerWerff: Do you guys remember that one episode of The Simpsons “The Simpsons Spin-off Showcase”? Airing in season eight, it purported to show three separate proposed spinoffs from the series, including a cop show, a stupid gimmick sitcom, and a variety show. The terribleness of the ideas was the point — this is what television networks do when left to their own devices, the episode seemed to snark.
Well, I feel roughly similarly about “New Business,” which feels for much of its running time like “The Mad Men Spinoff Showcase.”

All shows must die — even Game of Thrones – Excellent usage:

In The Simpsons episode “Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie” — which, by virtue of being a Simpsons episode about the internal machinations of television, makes it one of our best excoriations about how stupid the internal machinations of television are — Homer is drafted to provide the voice of Poochie, a hip dog brought in to revitalize the flagging cat-and-mouse cartoon show. For his first voice session, he’s understandably nervous: “Is this episode going on the air live?” he asks. “Very few cartoons are broadcast live,” an old hand reassures him. “It’s a terrible strain on the animators’ wrists.”

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons homer simpson… – a deer, a female deer!

New trending GIF tagged simpsons weed homer simpson… – Homer disappearing into marijuana instead of a hedge.

CMW 2015 Preview: First You Get The Sugar – “Foreign Lands” – We’ve got another band named after a Simpsons quote.  I do so enjoy these.

“A Star Is Burns” – The Simpsons Season 6 episode review – A little love for one of Season 6’s many gems.

Ten funny gene names – part 2 – I learned something today:

2. Maggie – Fruit flies with a mutated Maggie gene results in arrested development, like Maggie Simpsons from the cartoon series The Simpsons.

Trial and Error – And finally, I get to end with some academic types who agree with us:

For the group survey and interview assignment my group and I have decided to look at how families are represented in television sitcoms and if it has changed over time, with specific reference to The Simpsons (pre 2000) and Modern Family.

No point going beyond that.




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