“Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. Come on, kids, let’s go home.” – Homer Simpson
“We are home.” – Bart Simpson
“That was fast.” – Homer Simpson
It’s a holiday weekend and I’m very pressed for time as I am going away from the internet for a few days, so this is a very short Reading Digest, but we do have an alternate reality Simpsons, some fan art, plenty of Season 2 recaps, some great usage, and moar Lego stuff.
NOTE: I am aware via e-mail and such that the comments section has gone to hell lately. I will fix it when I get back. I’ve only ever had to ban one person on this blog, if you are the person(s) who are making this less fun for everyone else, stop being a jerkass and I won’t have to up that number.
An amended Simpsons timeline – Our old friend Stefan Grasso has constructed an elaborate alternate timeline where the Simpson kids actually grow up:
Lisa, meanwhile, develops a romantic relationship with an intelligent boy named Langdon Alger, and continues pursuing her dreams of being a great jazz musician, and graduates from high school in the year 2000.
Lots more at the link.
The Middle of the Road – Anaesthetics for the Heart Kids – Even sophisticated doctors use the Simpsons:
“It was like that when I got here”
You might remember a bunch of life lessons from The Simpsons. Babies can be relied upon to deliver justice to old tycoons. The coroner is tiresome after a while. Don’t eat the insanity peppers.
Well that eight word phrase comes from Homer to Bart, purpose built for shifting the blame. But it turns out to be a pretty good phrase to remember for the “standard” heart kid needing your help.
I will take your word for the rest.
Welcome: The Simpsons Files!!! – Simpsons blog gets renovated, promises to get back to the important things in life: watching old TV and blogging about it.
Tales from an Empty Bar – Excellent usage:
“She’s outside. She has to cover the patio, the lounge and the bar on Saturday afternoons.”
“But I’m thirsty now.”
“So you do remember the episode.”
“The Simpson’s episode, you do remember it.”
“No, I don’t watch the Simpson’s”
“That’s weird, ‘cuz In the episode, the gun store owner told Homer that he had to wait five days to buy a gun. Homer replied ‘But I’m mad now’ and then they did this little sequence with Tom Petty playing in the background.”
Can you count… SUCKAS?! – Scroll about halfway down for a heavily marked up Simpsons poster in a Beijing bar.
S02 E11 – One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish – Haven’t had time to read these, but I do adore Season 2.
S02 E12 – The Way We Was – I’ve always wanted to moon for rebuttal.
S02 E13 – Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment – Something about covet?
S02 E14 – Principal Charming – Possible Homersexual.
S02 E15 – Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? – Your holiness.
The EGOTist On: My First Stage Win – This is fantastic:
I was 3 years old and the Simpsons were doing a big promotional event at a bookstore just outside the city. My grandmother packed my older cousin and I into the car and drove us out there.
The place was swarmed. I remember super tall people everywhere (because who isn’t tall to a 3 year-old). The man onstage announced a contest. It echoed out over the loudspeakers. Whoever gave the best Maggie impersonation would win a prize.
Each person gave their best pacifier-sucking impersonation. And then they finally got to me.
“What’s your name?”
“Brittany,” I said directly into the microphone.
“How old are you?”
I grabbed hold of the mic and gave it my best shot.
The crowd went wild!
The emcee went down the line again, holding a hand over each of our heads to measure the audience’s reaction. When he got back to me, they went bonkers. The winner was obvious.
I don’t know if I won because I was an adorable and precocious toddler or if it’s because I was actually the best. I like to think it was the latter but it doesn’t really matter because I was the one who left that stage with the adult large Simpson’s t-shirt that fit me like a ballgown.
TV Review: Classic Simpsons— “Lisa The Skeptic” – This one was always disappointing because it should’ve been great, it had all the pieces, but ended up less than the sum of its parts:
And double-especially, when, in rewatching this episode, I realized that I liked it less than I remembered.
Smartline – Aww.
Master of Horror – This is a feeling shared by many:
It took Groundskeeper Willie to make me truly appreciate Wes Craven. The Simpsons‘ 1995 Treehouse of Horror segment Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace stripped back the Freddy Krueger mythos to its fundamentals – a man burned alive and swearing vengeance on the residents of a sunny suburban town, haunting the dreams of their innocent children.
“Groundskeeper Lemmy” – Fantastic chalk Willy/Lemmy mashup. Bravo.
“Six Pack” – Barney has painted himself into a corner, literally and spiritually.
WIP Wednesday: Simpsons Couch #1 – The early stages of a very elaborate cross stitch of the family on the couch. Can’t wait to see the completed product.
New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons smoking… – Homer’s got money to burn, or at least singe, anyway.