Archive for the 'The Simpsons' Category


Quote of the Day


“Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead.  He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to alive.” – Kent Brockman

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)”!  Original airdate: 17 September 1995.


Quote of the Day

Chewable Prozac for Kids

“Look, my stomach really hurts.” – Bart Simpson
“All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids.  Your choice: Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Blue Bird of Unhappiness.” – Lunchlady Doris

Happy birthday, Mike Reiss!


Reading Digest: Arty Milhouse Edition

Radioactive Man13

“Ever since I became a movie star I’ve been miserable.  I had to get up at 5am just for makeup.  I like the way the blush brings out my cheekbones, but it’s not worth it.” – Milhouse van Houten

There’s a simple and very creative Lego Milhouse picture this week that headlines a collection of cool fan art in the mediums of Lego, ink, cross-stitch and more.  We’ve also got a bunch of lists, more Season 2, Burns memories, a couple of pieces of great usage, and more.


May-August developments in new works… – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the week is this collection of freaky Simpsons collages.  Stop the Planet of the Apes on top of young Master Burns’ eyes is particularly good.

The Character Files: Mr. Burns – This list of recommended episodes is, of course, very long.  And:

Well, to his friends he’s known as Monty. But to you it’s Mr. Burns.

I can’t read that without singing it.

Movie Music: Danny Elfman – I forgot he did Men In Black.

My 6 Favorite Simpsons One-Off Characters – Oh, you gave him a quarter!

Professional Lego builder’s life-sized Homer heading to Edmonton Expo – A giant Homer made of Lego and dressed as Spock?  Well done, sir.

Mirror – And speaking of Legos, Milhouse sees himself as Fallout Boy.

Piggie-gang – The Lego boys with pig bodies.  There really should be more easily decapitate-able toys.

The Top 25 Simpsons Episodes – Reader Eric P. sent in yet more proof that nobody cares about Zombie Simpsons.

The Top 25 Simpsons Episodes – And here’s someone else observing:

My absolute favourite show is The Simpsons. Older episodes of the Simpsons that is. There are barely any good new episodes.

I’d go with none, but that’s just me.  (Looking forward to your list, though!)

Eye On Springfield With Diego Fernandez of Eye Of Horus – Remember when the Devil told Bart to listen to heavy metal music?  Looks like it works:

Like most people, I started watching over the shoulder of my parents, then when I was old enough, I would watch them on my own. I remember the first time I saw the show because it was also the first time I heard ‘ass’ being said on TV. Obviously hearing that at such a young age is what set me off into being a death metal musician!

Stark Raving Dad – Other things that enjoyably warped my childhood brain:

-“Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts! I’m not popular enough to be different.” And then, of course, Mr. Burns commenting on the pink garb: “Well, judging by his outlandish attire, he’s some sort of free-thinking anarchist!”

Friday Conversation: The Geekiest Pop Culture Merchandise You’ve Owned – One of us:

Stacey Ritzen
Like many people who grew up with The Simpsons, I used to be an enormous fan, until the gradual decline in quality a decade or so ago began to disenchant and eventually disinterest me in the series. But when Playmates Toys released their World of Springfield action figure line in 1999, I was still very much obsessed with The Simpsons, and obsessively collected the toys. I’d even cut out the UPC codes to get the limited edition ones you had to mail away for, and buy ones I couldn’t find on eBay.

S02 E16 – Bart’s Dog Gets an F – Always liked this:

While she’s home, Marge shows Lisa the Bouvier family quilt, and informs her that she’s going to learn how to stitch so she can contribute a square herself. Marge is a sewing master, which is she demonstrates by lighting flame under her calloused skin.

It’s a very Simpsons combination of sweetness and horror.

S02 E17 – Old Money – Indeed:

They end up going to the Plato’s Republic Casino and Hotel (that joke is amazing)

Probably took me ten years to get that one.

S02 E18 – Brush with Greatness – Season 2 really was when the writing became itself:

I absolutely love the interaction Burns and Smithers have when Burns realizes his good fortune of having an artist dropped into his lap: “Somebody up there likes me Smithers.” “Somebody down here likes you too sir.” “Shut up!” Oh Mr. Burns, you’re the worst.

S02 E19 – Lisa’s Substitute – This is true:

Another classic Lisa episode. Man, I really forgot how consistently great Lisa episodes were.

From time to time I’ll find someone complaining about how Lisa episodes are boring, and my only response is that you’re right, but only because you’re watching Zombie Simpsons and all the episodes are boring.  Lisa episode in the actual Simpsons are fantastic.

S02 E20 – the War of the Simpsons – Here’s your crown, your majesty!

thank you comedy – Lisa to the rescue again:

I realized I wasn’t a freak or alone in my skepticism of Christianity when I saw an episode of the Simpsons called “Lisa the Skeptic” in which she digs up a skeleton that looks like an angel that sets the town into a religious fervor and Lisa questions the existence of god. Hearing Lisa question it made me feel more confident to question it myself and that episode has stuck with me for years.

Simpson’s Treehouse of Horrors Retrospective (Pt.1) – Podcast the first.

Simpson’s Treehouse of Horrors Retrospective (pt. 2) – Podcast the second.

Katie Hopkins – I do not know who Katie Hopkins is, but Paul Anka is a wise man.

H is for Homer Simpson – Great fan made Homer drawing.

WIP Wednesday: Simpsons Couch #2 – The couch cross stitch I linked before is coming along nicely.  It’s even got the bag of chips on the floor.

Str8 up Menace – Having Bart’s skull and crossbones logo on a slingshot tattoo is a very nice touch.

Combating “The Homer Simpson Effect” – Excellent usage:

There really is a “Homer Simpson” effect in neuroscience. The phenomenon was given this name in honor of the Fox network character, Homer Simpson. Homer once told Marge, “Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.”

Bloomberg’s terminals face threat from start-ups like Goldman Sachs’s Symphony – Excellent reference:

Mr Khan at ING Bank said that even if Money.Net did not catch on, for his generation, the prestige of the expensive terminal was losing its allure.

“They are like Grandpa Simpson. They used to be with it, but then it changed,” Mr Khan said of both Bloomberg and Thomson Reuters.

How to handle online sexism: Laugh at the trolls and fight back – Excellent strategy:

Ford said she had tried to develop a thick skin, with a dash of humour. “What I’ve found has worked has absolutely not been stoicism or silence or just getting on with things, but has been a combination of exposure and also laughing at them,” she explained. “It comes back to that Margaret Atwood quote: ‘Men are afraid women will laugh at them, and women are afraid men will kill them’.”
When she gets abusive emails, she sometimes responds with a picture of Poochie from The Simpsons. “I love the idea of them getting indignant about the fact I didn’t read their email properly,” she laughed.

“Paid In Full” – Lenny and Carl, the album cover.

“Insane Sideshow Posse” – Chalk Bob, but no mention of his thoughts on magnets and how the fuck they work.

Tooned Series (2015 New Model): THE SIMPSONS FAMILY CAR – You can now get a diecast model of the family sedan in addition to The Homer.

Mr. Burns: A comedy of the darkest variety – The play goes to Virginia.

‘The Simpsons’ gets an imaginative treatment in a dystopian drama – And St. Louis.

Concert Review: Ned Flanders Metal Band Okilly Dokilly – Sudden fame has advantages and disadvantages, but the crowd liked ’em, and that’s what counts.

Erroll’s Top 10 Favorite Games (In No Particular Order) – The arcade game makes the list.

My Five Favorite TV show Credit Sequences – The Simpsons entry has a Halloween flavor.

Hank Azaria Cast in HBO’s Bernie Madoff Movie – Azaria gets to play Robert DeNiro’s right hand man, which I suppose is better for him than when they were in Heat together.

Dissolving into the Ether – The Homer into the bushes .gif, but with video static.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons leonard nimoy… – His work is done here.

New trending GIF tagged swag the simpsons chill… – She can’t hear you, son, she’s wearing a Jacuzzi suit.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons bart… – Staring down his nemesis, Lester.


Quote of the Day

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“I’m here to share my moral outrage.  But this time it’s not about that giant, inflatable Dos Equis bottle.” – Marge Simpson

Happy Birthday, Julie Kavner!


Reading Digest: So Short It Barely Exists Edition

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“Well, it was a good ride while it lasted.  Come on, kids, let’s go home.” – Homer Simpson
“We are home.” – Bart Simpson
“That was fast.” – Homer Simpson

It’s a holiday weekend and I’m very pressed for time as I am going away from the internet for a few days, so this is a very short Reading Digest, but we do have an alternate reality Simpsons, some fan art, plenty of Season 2 recaps, some great usage, and moar Lego stuff.


NOTE: I am aware via e-mail and such that the comments section has gone to hell lately.  I will fix it when I get back.  I’ve only ever had to ban one person on this blog, if you are the person(s) who are making this less fun for everyone else, stop being a jerkass and I won’t have to up that number.

An amended Simpsons timeline – Our old friend Stefan Grasso has constructed an elaborate alternate timeline where the Simpson kids actually grow up:

Lisa, meanwhile, develops a romantic relationship with an intelligent boy named Langdon Alger, and continues pursuing her dreams of being a great jazz musician, and graduates from high school in the year 2000.

Lots more at the link.

The Middle of the Road – Anaesthetics for the Heart Kids – Even sophisticated doctors use the Simpsons:

“It was like that when I got here”

You might remember a bunch of life lessons from The Simpsons. Babies can be relied upon to deliver justice to old tycoons. The coroner is tiresome after a while. Don’t eat the insanity peppers.

Well that eight word phrase comes from Homer to Bart, purpose built for shifting the blame. But it turns out to be a pretty good phrase to remember for the “standard” heart kid needing your help.

I will take your word for the rest.

LEGO Dimensions Unleashes New Screenshots Of The Simpsons And Midway Arcade Gameplay – Mmm, franchises.

Welcome: The Simpsons Files!!! – Simpsons blog gets renovated, promises to get back to the important things in life: watching old TV and blogging about it.

Tales from an Empty Bar – Excellent usage:

She’s outside. She has to cover the patio, the lounge and the bar on Saturday afternoons.

But I’m thirsty now.”

So you do remember the episode.”


The Simpson’s episode, you do remember it.”

No, I don’t watch the Simpson’s

That’s weird, ‘cuz In the episode, the gun store owner told Homer that he had to wait five days to buy a gun. Homer replied ‘But I’m mad now’ and then they did this little sequence with Tom Petty playing in the background.”

Can you count… SUCKAS?! – Scroll about halfway down for a heavily marked up Simpsons poster in a Beijing bar.

S02 E11 – One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish – Haven’t had time to read these, but I do adore Season 2.

S02 E12 – The Way We Was – I’ve always wanted to moon for rebuttal.

S02 E13 – Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment – Something about covet?

S02 E14 – Principal Charming – Possible Homersexual.

S02 E15 – Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? – Your holiness.

The EGOTist On: My First Stage Win – This is fantastic:

I was 3 years old and the Simpsons were doing a big promotional event at a bookstore just outside the city. My grandmother packed my older cousin and I into the car and drove us out there.

The place was swarmed. I remember super tall people everywhere (because who isn’t tall to a 3 year-old). The man onstage announced a contest. It echoed out over the loudspeakers. Whoever gave the best Maggie impersonation would win a prize.


Each person gave their best pacifier-sucking impersonation. And then they finally got to me.

“What’s your name?”

“Brittany,” I said directly into the microphone.

“How old are you?”


I grabbed hold of the mic and gave it my best shot.

The crowd went wild!

The emcee went down the line again, holding a hand over each of our heads to measure the audience’s reaction. When he got back to me, they went bonkers. The winner was obvious.

I don’t know if I won because I was an adorable and precocious toddler or if it’s because I was actually the best. I like to think it was the latter but it doesn’t really matter because I was the one who left that stage with the adult large Simpson’s t-shirt that fit me like a ballgown.


TV Review: Classic Simpsons— “Lisa The Skeptic” – This one was always disappointing because it should’ve been great, it had all the pieces, but ended up less than the sum of its parts:

And double-especially, when, in rewatching this episode, I realized that I liked it less than I remembered.

Smartline – Aww.

Master of Horror – This is a feeling shared by many:

It took Groundskeeper Willie to make me truly appreciate Wes Craven. The Simpsons‘ 1995 Treehouse of Horror segment Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace stripped back the Freddy Krueger mythos to its fundamentals – a man burned alive and swearing vengeance on the residents of a sunny suburban town, haunting the dreams of their innocent children.

“Groundskeeper Lemmy” – Fantastic chalk Willy/Lemmy mashup.  Bravo.

“Six Pack” – Barney has painted himself into a corner, literally and spiritually.

WIP Wednesday: Simpsons Couch #1 – The early stages of a very elaborate cross stitch of the family on the couch.  Can’t wait to see the completed product.

New trending GIF tagged the simpsons simpsons smoking… – Homer’s got money to burn, or at least singe, anyway.


Reading Digest: What Do You Want, It’s August Edition

Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious10

“Lisa, don’t sit in front of that telly like a fly stuck in a toffee.  It’s a great big world out there!” – Shary Bobbins
“Been there, done it.” – Lisa Simpson

Very short Reading Digest this week on account of the fact that there’s always a lull at this time of year because people with more sense than me are outside and away from their keyboards.  We do have some love for Season 2, some extremely crappy merchandise, some excellent usage, some more Bart art, and an Icelandic Homer, so it’s not all bad.


The Dark Past Of Your Favorite Cartoon Characters And More… – This only mentions the show in passing, but it’s a great collection (complete with lots of YouTube) of the smoking, drinking, and wildly racists past of such favorites as Donald Duck and Bugs Bunny.

10 Simpsons mash-ups will make you smile – Some more excellent Bart art from that show a couple weeks ago.  Bart as Spike Lee from Do the Right Thing is spot on.

Timeline Photos – Via @RealJeffJ on Twitter is an old Icelandic comic strip that looks familiar:


The Family’s Best Friend – A short, familial history of television, complete with excellent usage:

Whether black and white or colour, big and bulky or sleek and high definition, the purpose of the television is one every generation can understand. In the word’s of Homer Simpson, “Come, family, let us all bask in television’s warm glowing warming glow.”

Homer actually says, “Come, family, sit in the snow with Daddy,” first, but the rest of the quote is dead on.

Okily Dokily and The History of Simpsons Inspired Bands – A list of some Simpsons named bands, some famous, some not.  I’d see a band called “The Speedholes”.

5 top pacts with the devil in literature – “The Devil and Homer Simpson” makes this Faust heavy list, but “The Devil and Daniel Webster” does not.  Score one for television.

Fear the Walking Dead, Rogue One, and why Hollywood makes prequels – Almost excellent usage from Entertainment Weekly:

Hollywood has gotten more thesaurus-y in pitching these projects: companion series, expansion, reimagining, “palate cleanser.” And doesn’t “spin-off” sound wrong, classless, shamefully capitalistic? But we shouldn’t kid ourselves: The de facto Hollywood playbook right now is The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase, except now it’s The Simpsons Cinematic Universe.

128th-Final, Round 12: Bart Gets an “F” vs. Homer the Vigilante – Oof, that’s tough.

128th-Final, Round 13: Lost Our Lisa vs. The Front – This, however, is a very easy one.

S02 E06 – Dead Putting Society – Read the bosom part again:

Homer then mocks the letter endlessly with the family, especially the fact that Ned used the word “bosom” several times.

S02 E07 – Bart vs. Thanksgiving – They certainly nailed a lot of my family Thanksgiving experiences:

It’s episodes like this that really show why your parents were crabby on holidays when they hosted, everyone’s a judgy jerk

S02 E08 – Bart the Daredevil – Always cracks me up:

And I love when Flanders cries at Todd’s solo, and Homer says “c’mon Flanders, he’s not that bad.”

Itchy & Scratchy & Marge – This is true:

I love that the other kids in school give Bart sympathy for not getting to watch Itchy and Scratchy anymore. There were kids in school growing up that didn’t get to watch TV, and everyone treated them like they were bereaved.

Gr8at: Visual Jokes from The Simpsons – Heh, “Make a List”.

HAVE YOU CONTRACTED TV? – Excellent usage:

“Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.” ~ Homer Simpson (Flaxen-faced sexegenarian philosopher)

Bart Simpson Dart Board – Even by the usually low Krusty Brand Seal of Approval merchandise standards, this one is piss poor.  It’s just Homer and Bart painted on the outside of a crappy looking electronic dart board.

LEGO The SIMPSONS Minifigures SERIES 2! – YouTube of blind bags of Simpsons legos being opened.

‘Simpsons’ Writer: Trump Presidential Run ‘Not as Fun as It Should Be’ – Dan Greaney wrote “Bart to the Future”, which isn’t nearly as bad as some of the other crap in Season 11:

Greaney says he had completely forgotten about the episode until it was cited—by The Washington Post, Mashable, and Deadline, among other news outlets—as yet another example of the Simpsons writing crew’s uncanny ability to see into the future. (“Entertainment Weekly said it was the worst episode in the history of the show, [so] I was hoping to have an opportunity to have the episode reevaluated, anyway,” he said.)

Galway Comedy Carnival has the last laugh – Mike Reiss goes to Ireland:

An eye-catching offering is The Simpsons Backstage Tour with The Simpsons long-time writer and producer Mike Reiss, which includes secrets, rarely seen footage and gossip, on some of the 300 celebrities who appeared over the years. This will be an afternoon show in the Town Hall Theatre followed by a Q & A session.

Ay Caramba! – Famous interjections, one of which was popularized by Bart.

New trending GIF tagged television the simpsons cats… – Nothing but cats.

The cone of ignorance (Simpsons) – Heh.


Character, Story, and A One Syllable Punchline

Bart Gets Hit By a Car17

“Hello, Bart.  Now, you know the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie, don’t you, son?” – Judge Moulton
“Maybe.” – Bart Simpson

There’s a great exchange near the beginning of the trial in Season 2’s “Bart Gets Hit By a Car”.  Bart has just taken the witness stand, covered in fake bandages and sitting in an unnecessary wheelchair.  The judge asks if he knows the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie. He replies with a nervous “maybe”.

Bart Gets Hit By a Car16

This is an understandably intimidating situation for a 10-year-old.

Sitting at the lawyer’s table are Homer and Lionel Hutz, and when the judge then asks Bart if he’d, “lie to the United States?”, Bart glances over and we see this:


They’re on screen for barely a second, but it’s plenty, because the episode has already shown us exactly how all of these characters got here.  Homer wasn’t initially planning to sue Burns over the accident, but once shyster extraordinaire Lionel Hutz mentioned a million dollar settlement, Homer’s greed took over and now the two of them are desperate for Bart to lie in court.  Marge and Lisa, who’ve been growing increasingly worried over Homer and Bart’s scheme to get rich by suing Homer’s boss, are sitting there in the background, looking none too pleased.

For his part, Bart isn’t nearly as blinded by greed as Homer and Hutz.  After the trial collapses, we see him casually wonder about how cool it would’ve been to get the money.  (He takes it much better than Homer.) But Bart is still on board with lying to get the money, he just needs a little guidance.  No sooner does he see Hutz and his father quietly telling him to lie to the judge, then he quickly and confidently replies, “No.”

For starters, Nancy Cartwright gives a great delivery of that lone syllable.  The apprehension that was in her voice for Bart’s earlier “maybe” is all gone as he eagerly goes along with the lie.

The writing also deserves credit because the rest of the story is so well put together that just a single two-letter denial can become a punchline.  We’ve seen Homer get greedy, we’ve seen him and Hutz coaching Bart in the living room, we’ve even seen them blow Marge off when she tries to object to them telling her son to perjure himself.

Bart is a clever kid, but he’s still just a kid.  He needs to know from his dad that he is indeed supposed to tell his cock and bull story on the witness stand, even after the judge presses him to only tell the truth.  Homer’s complete lack of scruples about putting his son in that position then becomes a set-up for Bart’s one syllable response that shows him happily going along with his father’s scheme.

None of this requires Homer to get hurt, or scream, or go wingsuiting or something.  This is Homer as understandable loser, who sees this as his big shot at getting rich and is willing to put his son on the line to do it. He’s certainly being a bad father, but he’s not being a jerkass.


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