“And this is for my huggy bug in honor of this special day.” – Marge Simpson
“Special day? Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don’t panic. Is it Bacon Day? No! That’s crazy talk. She’s getting impatient, take a stab at it . . .” – Homer’s Brain
“Happy . . . Valentine’s Day.” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, thank you, dear.” – Marge Simpson
“Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson
Today, as we all know (even Reddit), is Bacon Day. Like most holidays on the American calendar, whatever was once good and fun about Bacon Day was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece so thoroughly that the backlash against those decades of commoditization now has its own annual meta-backlash. Personally, I’ve never understood what all the fuss is about. Some people eat bacon today, some people don’t; and tomorrow begins the year long countdown to the next time people will once again fret and stress over who’s eating bacon, who’s not eating bacon, what their bacon eating (or lack thereof) says about them, and all manner of other non-bacon related subjects.
Naturally, we have some Bacon Day related links this week, so feel free to enjoy them or not as you see fit. In addition to that, there is yet more new merchandise this week, lots of excellent usage (even on that’s misquoted), an update on fan made cross stitch, a chance to vote on what Simpsons episodes people in the Bay Area will get to watch next month, and a scandalous episode of all caps plagiarism in a barbecue joint that I demand be corrected by next Bacon Day.
Before we get to this week’s links, here’s Sam Simon’s speech from that award the Writer’s Guild gave him a couple of weeks ago (via):
As I’ve said before, it’s hard to imagine someone dealing with that kind of news better than he is. I mean, how often do people with nasty cancer crack jokes at the expense of the Make A Wish Foundation?
PLAGIARISM! – Some BBQ joint attributed “You don’t win friends with salad” to some anonymous scoundrel named “Shane”. Our author got “full on, fan-girl annoyed”, and deservedly so!
20th Century Fox details toy partners for The Simpsons’ 25th anniversary | Latest news from the licensing industry - There’s gonna be Hot Wheels, there’s gonna be six feet tall inflatable Homers, there’s gonna be more figurines. They are going all out because there can never be enough merchandise. Never! (For pics of some of it, see here.)
Mmm… Unexplained Bacon – If you make your own bacon, then every day can be Bacon Day!
Thank You One Tree Hill, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, The Simpsons, and Harry Potter – A big old wet kiss to some popular media, including the show and including a ton of great YouTube.
Pick-a-Side – >>>>> Classic Simpsons Marathon! <<<<< Pick The Top ‘Simpsons’ Episodes! – That San Francisco tv station that separates Simpsons reruns from Zombie Simpsons reruns is having a viewer contest to pick which episodes they’ll show during a marathon on March 15th. It’s a good list and you can vote.
The Other Shoe has Dropped – I’ve lost track of all the Converse Simpsons shoes, but here are some of them.
Heres a red ball….. – This is . . . this is brilliant:
I don’t know about you, but I think I its a great idea to carry a red ball in ones pocket for every time some asshole says something completely stupid. Just for the sole purpose of asking them if they’d like to bounce it. Anyone know where one could buy these wholesale? Just asking for a friend….
A quick Amazon search did not reveal any bulk purchase options.
CAN I BORROW A FEELING? – As usual with Valentine’s Day, 95%+ of what seems to be on the internet shits on the holiday, and when people do it with Simpsons it’s usually Choo-Choo-Choose related. Kudos for going with Kirk’s abortive singing career.
Simpsons – I choo choo choose you (gif) – Of course, you can’t go wrong with animated .gifs of the classic.
The faces behind “The Simpsons” - A nice little collage of the six main voices with their various characters.
want: lego simpsons house…that opens. – This is from a blog awesomely titled “Lenny Loves Carl”:
Anyway, if I do obtain this masterpiece of the Lego Gods, I’ll probably keep it in the box until my brother is in town and can put it together for me. Then I’ll proudly display it in my house and not let friends’ kids play with it when they come over because they’ll do terrible things like put the Jazz Fest poster on Bart’s bedroom wall and make Lisa eat hot dogs when we all know she only wants to eat gazpacho!
Thomas A. Edison’s doodle – A drawing of Homer dressed as Edison, if he ate hoagies and drank Duff.
The Simpsons’ Parody of Famous Photos (12 photos) - Exactly what it says.
Mike Lynch Cartoons: THE SIMPSONS “Please Stand By” Interstitials - Also exactly what it says.
Barbie’s SI Cover Steps Up the Sexualized Children’s Toy Game - Good comparison:
Billed under an “Unapologetic” tagline, Barbie will get a four pages of swimsuit-wearing photos — all taken by longtime SI photographer Walter Iooss Jr. — as well as a limited-edition Sports Illustrated Barbie (only at Target!). And most importantly, 1,000 issues with Barbie in a swimsuit on the cover.
While perhaps the most brazen example yet of sexualizing the children’s toy, the concept isn’t exactly novel. Look at how Marge Simpson’s image has been tarted up over the years. “Springfield’s sexiest MILF,” Maxim called her in 2004 when she appeared on the cover of the magazine. Marge also posed on a bunny chair in Playboy in 2009 as a tag to “The Devil in Marge Simpson.” Weird.
It was. Really weird.
Sirs, madams, our airs and graces are on the wane - Excellent usage:
Homer Simpson only ever got called “sir” when it was followed by “you’re making a scene”. Unless you’re a teacher or a drill sergeant, you’re likely to be in the same boat.
Berlinale 2014: Is the Man Who Is Tall Happy? Review - Excellent reference:
It’s easy to greet the prospect of Michel Gondy making a doodle movie about the ideas of Noam Chomsky like that aggrieved nerd on The Simpsons: “Ugh, why does it have be zany?”
Kraft Singles Get Very Slightly Less Horrid - Another excellent reference:
The enduring image of Kraft Singles in my mind comes from the Simpsons episode where Homer inadvertently thwarts Mr. Burns and Smithers from burglarizing his home by sleepwalking into the kitchen for “Mmmmm…64 slices of American cheese.” It takes him all night to unwrap and eat them individually, by which time the burglars’ suction pads lose their grip and they nonchalantly drop off the ceiling to bid him a good day.
Get to know Midwest brewers in Locally Brewed by Anna Blessing - Intentional misquotes still count as excellent usage:
To misquote Homer Simpson, “Craft beer. Is there anything it can’t do?” Of course Homer, the great devotee of Duff, probably wouldn’t know what to make of an IPA.
The Simpsons Duff Beer-Themed Energy Drink - Now you can buy it outside the theme park. Still looks gross.
You’ll Feel Inspired to Play Your NES After Seeing this Nostalgic 8-bit Art (10 Images) – These are great, not only the Simpsons one, but also Bob Ross, Monopoly, and the bunch from Star Wars. (via Content for Nerds)
Shirley Temple Offered Guest Role On ‘The Simpsons’ But Said F*ck Off - They wanted her to play Little Vicki.
Bart’s Dog Gets An F – Episode #029 – Lots of people think only mules can pull carts. Impatient people think that, but patient people know better.
12 Things The Simpsons Can Teach You About Family, Hard Work, And Happiness – This is to promote that same new ebook I linked last week. I’ll have a review of it next week, but for now I’ll just recommend against a purchase.
Word Mystery: butterfly / mariposa / papillon / farfalla – The show gives us all kinds of options for daily usage:
My BFF and I decided a million years ago that “butterfly” would be our code word for “help” in any situation. If one of us couldn’t remember another person’s name while talking to them, we’d mention how odd it was that we’d seen a butterfly earlier that day and the other would come to the rescue.
It’s the perfect word for all kinds of situations since it’s innocuous, not commonly said, and, as Bart Simpson learned years after I had, “Nobody ever suspects the butterfly.“
Harry Potter and the Happy Squirrel: Hermione, as Page of Coins, considers Ron and Harry – I did not know this:
But is it bad?
EYE CANDY: Bartmania Nostalgia in Time for Black History Month – Pretty much what it says, some old stuff and some new stuff being used to promote an album. Cool.
Progress on Lisa – That cross stitch I linked a couple of weeks ago is definitely Lisa and not Maggie, and looks to be coming along nicely.
The Perfect Compliment – Star Wars Valentine for the win.
My Thoughts: The Simpsons – Good move:
the show has stopped being funny. It’s not even interesting to entertaining anymore. I took it off my Hulu watch list back in 2012 because for the last few seasons before then, I’d watch each episode and think, “Let’s get this over with” before clicking it. I think out of two seasons prior to 2012 I laughed maybe three times total.
It’s time to love up all on Thursday. – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us:
I love the Simpsons – up to a point. The older stuff is so genius. I will still pepper conversations with random quotes to this day, I can sing along with all the musical numbers. It’s become one with my brain.
I know the feeling. (It closes with a .gif of Homer’s brain explaining to him that $20 is better than a peanut.)