Posts Tagged ‘Lisa’s Substitute


Quote of the Day

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“I think he’s taking the next train to Capital City.” – Apartment Woman
“The train, how like him: traditional yet environmentally sound.” – Lisa Simpson
“Yes, and it’s been the backbone of our country since Leland Stanford drove that golden spike at Promontory Point!” – Apartment Woman
“I see he touched you too.” – Lisa Simpson

Happy birthday Jo Ann Harris!  

Quote of the Day

How Kittens Are Born

“And here comes Snowball II, this is the one we kept.” – Bart Simpson
“Eww.” – Fourth Grade
“We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.” – Bart Simpson
“Eww.” – Fourth Grade
“Mrs. Krabappel, he’s traumatizing the children.” – Martin Prince
“As usual, I agree with you, Martin.  Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Oh, look, this is really cool.  When I hit reverse, I can make ’em go back in!” – Bart Simpson


Reading Digest: Personal Inspiration Edition

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“You’ll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator.” – Lisa Simpson
“You’re going to miss your brother’s antics.” – Mr. Bergstrom
“When?” – Lisa Simpson
“When?  When your life takes you places the rest of us have only heard about.” – Mr. Bergstrom
“Places where my intelligence will be an asset and not a liability?” – Lisa Simpson
“Yes, there is such a place.” – Mr. Bergstrom

[Quick Note: Sorry for the erratic posting this week.  I actually have three concurrent excuses: work, weather and illness, feel free to accept or disregard any or all of them.  I’m just glad it’s over.]

This week we’ve got two links to young women who love them some Lisa Simpson for all the usual reasons that everyone loves Lisa, plus we’ve got another way in which life has imitated The Simpsons, a revisit with the fake dead girlfriend story, an awesome Simpsons sculpture made out of snow, some love for the Simpsons comics, a couple of people who agree with us, and a new Simpsons podcast.


Snapshot Into My Childhood: Simpsons Quizzo at Drinker’s – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this Q&A with some guys who put together a Simpsons podcast by a guy lady [note to self: always check your gendered pronouns] they met at yet another classic Simpsons trivia night, this one in Philadelphia:

Circling back, a friend who works at Drinker’s sent out the official Facebook invite in November for an impending Simpsons Quizzo event. The questions would be from seasons one through 10, and it. was. on.

The podcast, which is called “The Jerks from Tower One” and of which there are so far five episodes (none of which I’ve listened to due to above mentioned excuses) can be found here.

My 5 Favorite Simpsons Episodes – A great list from a blog that’s almost named after an episode:

I am absolutely obsessed with The Simpsons. I have been for about five months straight. Usually I’ll become bored with a show after maybe a month of hardcore obsession, but I truly believe Homer and the clan are here (I’m pointing to my heart) to stay. No characters are more perfect, well-developed, hilarious, or yellow than these guys. By no means are these five episodes my only favorites: I have so many more, but it’s almost 1 a.m. on this side of the world and I’m a tad delirious.

No shame in that, and no Zombie Simpsons episodes make the list.  Well done.

Welshman’s stunning snow sculptures of The Simpsons and Gandalf draw the crowds – He made the whole family on the couch out of snow.  That’s damned impressive.

Lisa Simpson: Teacher’s Pet Icon [Saturday Flashback] – Everybody loves “Summer of 4ft 2”:

The episode is one of my favorites now, because it’s presents an always timely question about any generation’s youth: Why is acting indifferent toward everything cool? It was my favorite at seven years old because, although I wasn’t a teacher’s pet, I was quite the overachiever and knowing “big words,” having cultural references and trivial knowledge wasn’t exactly winning over my peers who were  more interested in Barbie dolls than writing horror stories.

How Lisa Simpson Taught Me To Be Myself – More love for Lisa:

But she’s also cripplingly self-conscious, shy, and unsure of herself. The fact that she can be both sure of herself and terribly insecure shows that she is just a little girl. But the point is, she inspired me. She literally gave me the courage to say that I wouldn’t ever fit in but never mind. She made me sure that voicing my opinion might not make me popular, but that if it was necessary, I should do it anyway. She taught me to find my principles and stand on them no matter what people say, she taught me that something you believe in is something worth fighting for. All this from a little cartoon girl in an orange dress. That’s a lot to absorb. But Lisa Simpsons, thank you for making my life a little easier every day.

Real Life Imitates The Simpsons – First it was the trillion dollar coin, now it’s Whacking Day down in America’s Wang.  Next week Tom Jones will probably disappear and then the world’s largest cubic zirconia will vanish.

Duffman Runner – A guy running a marathon in a kick ass homemade Duffman costume complete with Duff Beer cans.  Bravo.

More Simpsons – More recreations of Simpsons frames as animation practice, including a link through to Reddit where they’re all stored.

Top Ten Thursday #2: Simpsons Episodes That Spring To Mind – Good list:

I’ve been watching The Simpsons for as long as I can remember, and am STILL planning to one day write the biggest blog post in the history of the world about what it means to me/what it’s taught me etc. :)

I can’t decide on ten definitive episodes that summarise the show (not attempting it today, anyway), but I’d like to have a think about the top ten episodes that spring to mind…because there are some that definitely just pop up in my brain (whether because of frequency of broadcast, frequency of viewing, funniest jokes etc).

And there’s nothing past Season 11.  Bravo.

GeekIt! Top 5 Defining Kids’ Shows – I watched a lot of TV and I turned out TV:

The writers of the show continuously pokes fun at the American lifestyle, culture and human condition, and this is mainly epitomized via the Simpsons family and the Springfield neighbourhood. According to Harry Potter‘s Daniel Radcliffe, we learn approximately 90% about life from just watching Simpsons.

She’s a little easier on Zombie Simpsons than we are, but that’s okay.

Top 5 Cartoons On TV – The show comes in at #5 here, more or less entirely because of what it used to do rather than what it does now.  Sounds about right.

comics: yeah! – Nice reference:

I love Frank Miller’s Dark Knight Returns. It was the first comic I ever read. Like millions of others I was sucked in when Batman Begins came out. This was followed by Year One, Killing Joke, Long Halloween and all the other Batman collected edition listed on Amazon’s top 100 graphic novels.

After I finished TDR I felt like I had unlocked a new media, comics! Before then, comics were things that cartoon characters talked about. I’m thinking of Bart and Milhouse reading Radioactive Man in the treehouse before Samantha Stanky came along to ignite Milhouse’s interest in girls (remember that episode? It’s the one that starts with the amazing Raiders of the Lost Ark parody).

I never got past issue two of Bonnie Crane: Girl Attorney.

Snowy Pentlands – Scroll to the bottom for a look at a Mr. Plow windshield cover.  I’m honestly not sure if it’s homemade or not.

Downton Abbey Review: “Episode Three” (Episode 3.03) – A little aside that agrees with us:

In a long-running American show, it’s usually a treat when an old supporting character returns and we get to see how they’re doing with their lives. Sideshow Bob was a longtime favorite until he went the way of the rest of The Simpsons, and it’s easy to see why.

It was pretty depressing when even the Sideshow Bob episodes weren’t any fun any longer.

COFFEE TABLE fourth fix – Want to see some Simpsons soccer figurines and the Comic Book Guy comic book cover that’s the same as the first one for the Fantastic Four?   Here you go.

The Simpsons @ Universal Studios Hollywood – Just some pictures of exactly what the title says.

Death of a Saleswoman – Interviewing for jobs sucks:

I thought all of the best things to say as I was driving away. It’s like I was insulted and 10 minutes later I came up with a comeback. I hate being nervous, but once on the floor, I can sell.

I know they’re hesitant because I am a girl, but I’ve sold everything but cars. I’ve been Al Bundy, climbed up ladders in skirts, and now it seems like I’m gonna be ol Gil from the Simpsons.

This will be the death of me.

Congratulations.  Don’t forget to push the rust proofing.

Is That You, Martin? – MLK clip art that kinda looks like Lisa Simpson is standing behind him.

DVD: Simpsons Season 15 – This is much more generous to Zombie Simpsons than we are here, but it’s pointed in the right direction:

I think by this point in the seasons DVD releases only the truly obsessed fans will still be buying, so of course I received it as a Christmas gift. While the series began to decline a few seasons back it still has its moments, and is generally funnier than Family Guy.

Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Friday 11th January 2013 – A nice reference for an image where the feet don’t quite fit the slippers:

This just reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Lisa and Bart figure out that Krusty was framed by Sideshow Bob

At least you’ve got little feet like all good hearted people.

Trolling the media down under: Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder? – This is that picture with monorail comments from The Newcastle Herald I linked a few weeks ago.  This one comes with bonus quotes:

And that was the only folly the people of Sydney ever took on… Except for the popsicle stick skyscraper, and that 50 ft magnifying glass, and the escalator to nowhere.

Double bonus points because the tagline of the blog is “You know me, and I’m a superstar at the cracker factory”.  Well done.

The Last Stand…In 10 Words – Maria, my mighty heart is breaking.  I’ll be in the Humvee.

Manti Te’o’s Imaginary Girlfriend…In 10 Words – When I read your tweets, I feel as if you are right here watching me.

The Simpsons is Weird Now – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us:

I don’t really watch The Simpsons any more. I have it favorited on Hulu, so the episodes pop into my queue, and generally they pop out again when they expire without me having watched them. I think I watched a couple episodes last season. I haven’t watched it regularly since I was in college, probably, in the early aughts.

Yet, I had a spare 20 minutes recently, and so I watched an episode called “The Day the Earth Stood Cool.” It was the episode that had the cameo from The Onion and Onion AV Club in it, and featured hipster characters voiced by Portlandia’s Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein. I watched the episode and I was so creeped out by it that it sent shivers down my spine.

Zombie Simpsons will do that.  The whole thing is worth a look.


Quote of the Day

Overlords of the Genre

Left to right, Isaac Asimov, Alfred Bester, Arthur C. Clarke, and Ray Bradbury.
Images for Asimov, Clarke, and Bradbury from Wikipedia, Bester from NNDb.

“Boys and girls, today we will begin selecting a class president.  I’m not allowed to vote, but I strongly suggest you elect Martin.  Martin?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“As your president, I would demand a science fiction library featuring an A-B-C of the overlords of the genre: Asimov, Bester, Clarke!” – Martin Prince
“What about Ray Bradbury?” – Wendell
“I’m aware of his work.  Thank you, and keep watching the skies!” – Martin Prince

So long, Mr. Bradbury.

Thanks to reader Harley for the suggestion.


Reading Digest: Future Canadian Prime Minister Edition

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Google didn’t turn up the usual amount of stuff and WordPress had one of its occasional hiccups where it didn’t correctly index the Simpsons tags for a couple of days, so this week’s Reading Digest is shorter than usual.  Despite the abnormal length we’ve still got a hallucinatory pepper, a real Duff beer advertising campaign, my new favorite cover band, ancient chess pieces, and the greatest MP in the history of Canada. 


Bad Rooster – Rolling in the Deep, featuring Marge Simpson – It’s a five piece bad whose lead singer is wearing a Marge Simpson costume while she cover’s Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep”.  It’s awesome:

NDP MP doesn’t delete Twitter F-bomb, won’t apologize – I love Canada:

New Democrat MP Pat Martin is standing by an expletive-laced expression of anger and frustration on Twitter Wednesday night, saying even politicians are allowed to vent.

Martin lost his cool on Twitter while the Conservative-dominated House of Commons voted to shut down debate on the federal budget bill.

"This is a f—— disgrace…closure again. And on the Budget! There’s not a democracy in the world that would tolerate this jackboot sh–," Martin tweeted.


But the initial Tweet wasn’t all, he said. Martin went on to tell off followers who criticized his post, telling one person to "F— off" and directing the Bart Simpson-coined expression "Eat my shorts" at another.

I want this man to be the Prime Minister of Canada right now.  And while the delicate sensibilities of CTV Calgary require petty, hyphenated censorship, the internet feels no such bounds.  Here’s the original, in all its glory:

Pat Martin for Prime Minister1

And here’s his Bart impression:

Pat Martin for Prime Minister2

Vote Pat Martin

Homer Simpson’s Thankgiving by David Penso – Papercraft Homer, with papercraft ax, menacing a papercraft turkey.  Sweet. 

DOWN WITH LITERACY! – Yeah, that Herman Cain/President Schwarzenegger thing was funny.  Shame his fifteen minutes are almost up. 

Wow. And you thought YOUR job was crappy… – An NPR reporter in North Carolina tried a merciless pepper grown deep in the Piedmont primeval by an insane local crank who believes he has the world’s hottest chili pepper.  Whether or not that’s true, the NPR guy doesn’t handle it well, and the YouTube video of him is shockingly similar to the one of Homer at the chili cook-off (which is also at the link).  That guy was lucky there wasn’t a golf course nearby. 

Cerveja Duff finalmente no Brasil minha gente! – This is in Portuguese, but apparently there is now an advertising campaign for Duff in Brazil that comes with appropriately gorgeous photos.  The one at the top of the Duff on ice is particularly “mmm, beer”. 

THE 1% – Money fight! 

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim…In 10 Words – I’m not sharing with Kaitlin! 

Cartoons and Advertising – An ad for some kind of hair cream with Marge.  I don’t recall seeing this before, but the picture resolution is too low for me to tell if the copyright is new or old. 

Bart Simpson Cufflinks – Cute Christmas present – For those of you in Australia, used cufflinks of a mooning Bart can be yours for $10. 

‘The Game of Kings – Medieval Ivory Chessmen From the Isle of Lewis,’ at the Cloisters – The Metropolitan Museum of Art has some apparently very famous (they were used in Harry Potter 1) eight hundred year old chess pieces on loan from the British Museum.  This prompted The New York Times to write them up, and include this:

If, by some typically improbable turn of events, Homer Simpson were to unearth from his backyard an old chest containing a chess set from medieval times, what would the pieces look like? Chances are they would resemble the lovable little contestants beautifully carved from walrus tusks by anonymous artisans in the famous cache known as the Lewis Chessmen.

Except for the pawns, which are shaped like tombstones and dome-topped, octagonal towers, each king, queen, bishop, knight and warder, as rooks used to be called, has the bug-eyed, stupefied expression of a Simpson. They could be Homer’s ancestors.

Normally I’d say that was a bit of newspaper reader bait, but I grabbed this still from the accompanying video:

Lewis Chessman

There is certainly a resemblance there, especially around the eyes and the lack of chin.  But please ignore the cutesy conclusion:

Meanwhile, a word to “The Simpsons” producers: How about an episode starring Bart as Harry in “Harry Potter and the Lewis Chessmen”?

How about not? 

What cars are pure fiction? – A list of famous fictional cars that leads with this:

Powell ”Homer”. An everyman’s car designed by Homer Simpson, following the discovery that his lost half-brother, Herb Powell, owned his own major automobile company.

Homer let his design muse run free, giving his car twin dome cockpits, three horns, tailfins and an exhaust note that sounds like ”the world is coming to an end”. Homer’s handiwork sent Powell Motors broke but Bart thought it was cool.

Excellent usage.

Fun for the whole family – And finally, this isn’t quite someone who agrees with us (though the quotes are from Seasons 2 and 4), but it’s too great not to end with:

I’m sure the Parents Television Council will call me to the carpet for this one, but the strongest bond between me and my daughter Allyson is the one we forged by watching The Simpsons together. I am thankful I married a woman who—while she doesn’t actually love the series the same way I do—at least finds it funny, and our holiday gatherings rarely expand beyond ourselves and our respective parents, who also tolerate the show. Mind you, as it’s obviously not intended for kids, we’d debated how we would handle the show’s occasional obscenities, but in the end, we decided we’d just keep watching it around Ally until she repeated something inappropriate, at which point we’d take it off the table for family viewing. When she finally committed this sin at age 2, however, we were hard-pressed to punish her, as she used the word in the right context. (“Daddy, I want to tell you a story about a monster. A monster… from HELL!”) Instead, we took a different tactic, underlining that some words were “TV words,” i.e. only to be spoken by people on TV, and that if we heard her repeating any such words, she’d get one warning for clarification purposes, but anything after that would mean the end of The Simpsons for Ally. She’s now 6 years old, and not only are we still watching The Simpsons together—who says threats don’t work?—but she’s absorbed so much of the show that when I say the words “Lisa needs braces,” she immediately responds, “Dental plan!” True story. You’re welcome, next generation!



Reading Digest: Pre-Halloween Creepiness Edition

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“Actually, Mr. Simpson, they do know a great deal about the process of mummification.  First they pulled the brain out through the nose with an iron hook, and stuffed the insides with sawdust and onions.” – Mr. Bergstrom
“Eww, gross.” – Lisa Simpson
“Ooh, pretty creepy.  Still, I’d rather have him chasing me than the wolfman.” – Homer Simpson

We’ve got two pre-Halloween links to rather disturbing images this week.  One is directly from the show, the other is what even I assume is an un-licensed advertisement for products which are themselves creepy.  There’s also a couple of fan made things, including a non-Lego Bart, some medical edification, a piece of non-news news from FOX, and a Canadian college student who knows what the score is.


[Brief programming note: We’ll be finishing up Season 10 next week, including the final three Crazy Noises, two of which include our old friend and special guest star bobservo.]

Nanoblock Bart Simpson Build Process on Vimeo – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is exactly what it says it is.  Very cool. 

Flanders Is an Apple Fanboy – Heh.

“Oh, rats” – An awesome, four-minute YouTube of Hans Moleman clips.  No Zombie Simpsons.

25 Incredible Sand Sculptures – Includes one of Homer on the couch with Santa’s Little Helper literally at his feet.  There’s also a real fire in the fireplace.  Many of the rest of these are even more incredible.

posses – Creepy black and white animated .gif of devil Lisa from “There’s No Disgrace Like Home”. 

High Low of the Week – Extra creepy British primping advertisements featuring a ludicrously muscled Bart and a come hither Marge.  I’m assuming they’re British because Marge is advertising “Sun Beds”, not tanning beds.

Stupid Tuesday questions, DSM-IV edition – This was written by a real doctor, so get ready to learn something:

A clang association, you see, is a kind of speech pattern that often accompanies thought disorders, typified by the speaker stringing words together because they sound alike.  When, in a classic episode, a stimulant-addled Lisa Simpson mutters “pep pills, pep pills, Beverly Sills” under her breath, that is an example of a clang association.

She actually says, “Who’s gonna stop me, you pep pill boy?  Pep boys, pills, Beverly Sills”.  But I’m still calling that excellent usage under the medical+educational exemption. 

Could Homer Simpson get his own channel? – This got linked in a lot of places this week, but it hardly qualifies as news.  A FOX executive said:

the company is starting to have internal discussions about how to create additional revenue streams for the animated hit that goes beyond reruns on TV stations and DVD sales.

One of the ideas floated was a “Simpsons channel”, whatever that means.  It wasn’t an announcement or even close to one.  It was just a bunch of FOX people trying to figure out how to wring more money out of the franchise.  In other news, the sky is blue and he was probably breathing when he said that.  Carry on.

Six TV-Inspired Video Games That Were Nothing Like The Shows That Inspired Them – A very crappy old Bart game is on here.

Simpsons – Try to be nice to people – Subtitled screen grabs of Moe wondering why he struggles to resist the urge to punch people in the face.  I wish they’d gone on a couple frames more.

That’s the American way… – A couple of weeks ago I linked to a post where a guy had put up Simpsons cartoons he did when he was ten.  This is another one, in which Homer explodes the plant with popcorn chicken.  I’m kinda surprised Zombie Simpsons hasn’t used this plot line.

“Tooning In” With Mark Kirkland – Longtime Simpsons director Mark Kirkland is being honored at the Burbank International Film Festival this year.

Joey Jo Jo – YouTube of exactly what you think it is.

Iconic Threads – A cute drawing of nine famous sweaters, including Flanders’.

WHAT ABOUT TOODY AND MULDOON?? – A list of fictional cops, including Chief Wiggum.

Simpsons Blooms Taxonomy and Multiple Intelligences Posters – Simpsons clip art used to improve otherwise boring cognitive posters.  Nicely done.

Kids Meal Toys of the Day – Apparently Burger King is bringing out some more small plastic collector crack for this year’s Halloween episode.

CNN’s Tea Party Republican Debate…In 10 Words – Miniature American flags for all!

Why You Little Derp! – Someone put “DERP” on a screen grab of Homer choking on a donut.  I’m proud to say that even though it’s cropped very tight on him I recognized the episode instantly. 

Bad To The Bone – This is a blog run by a local CW affiliate listing “The Best Of The Worst Bad Guys On CW50”.  Even in reruns Mr. Burns tops the list.  Stewie from Family Guy checks in at #4.

“The Simpsons” website given new design – Don’t care.

Buying the flowers yourself – the importance of opening lines – A list of some of literature’s most famous opening lines, including YouTube of the thousand monkeys that are even now toiling at Burns Manor. 

’90s-era Simpsons was so smrt — er, smart – And finally, we get further evidence that the kids are all right as this column from the University of Saskatchewan’s student paper agrees with us:

Before The Simpsons became a cheap Family Guy clone, it was perhaps the most significant show on television. During the 1990s, The Simpsons was not the gag-reel that it is today. Instead, the show was a scathing review of American society.

Got that right, my friend to the north. 


Quote of the Day

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“They need me over in the projects of Capital City.” – Mr. Bergstrom
“But, I need you too.” – Lisa Simpson
“That’s the problem with being middle class, anybody who really cares will abandon you for those who need it more.” – Mr. Bergstrom

Happy 20th anniversary to “Lisa’s Substitute”!  Original airdate 25 April 1991.


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