“I’m sorry, Homer, no weapons.” – Marge Simpson
“A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It’s a tool, like a butcher knife or a harpoon or an alligator.” – Homer Simpson
Posts Tagged ‘The Cartridge Family
“What began as a traditional soccer riot has escalated into a city wide orgy of destruction. Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby has declared mob rule. So, for the next several years, it’s every family for itself.” – Kent Brockman
“Excuse me, sir, I think you’ve got my TV. Sir?” – Ned Flanders
“I’d like to order a wake up call, please . . . three am . . . uh, for every room except this one . . . that’s right. Good night. Always love trying out new material on the road.” – Bart Simpson
This week we’ve got three links to brand new Simpsons graffiti in foreign countries (and only one of them is Canadian). There’s also a British newspaper that agrees with us, two kickass YouTube videos of Simpsons music, the rarely seen poor usage, and a never before published Bill Oakley interview from England, which you should probably read instead of the rest of this.
Intermission of long-outdated content: An interview with Bill Oakley – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this long, detailed and awesome interview with Bill Oakley conducted by none other than our old friend Gran2 (who somehow becomes Troy McClure for periods late in the interview). Don’t finish reading this post (well, maybe watch the YouTube video right below this), just click the link and start reading.
Watch Megan Washington Mashup Beck & The Simpsons – Seriously, watch it:
Excellent (especially that little Kwik-E-Mart line at the end).
Artistic Spotlight : Alfred Steiner – Absolutely stunning, if somewhat disturbing, fan made paintings of Spongebob, Burns, Maggie, and, oddly enough, Terry Schiavo.
Joey Joe Joe! Our top 10 favourite obscure Simpsons characters – Hot on the heels of last week’s Zombie Simpsons infested list from unnamed Simpsons writers, the Herald Sun (which is Australian) has their own list, and it is much better. There’s no Zombie Simpsons at all, which is more than enough to make up for calling Shelbyville Manhattan “Manhattan Shelbyville”. Well done, Herald Sun. (via @dailysimpsons)
Colombians fight to keep Simpsons beer – As usual, FOX hates fun, but this is amusing:
The company has since been forced to change its name to DuH Beer, as the pair of stylised “f”s on the bottle label could also be interpreted as a capital “h”.
I also didn’t know just how many different countries had tried this:
Sales of the beer in Argentina, Australia, Mexico, Chile, Brazil and New Zealand have also been halted, though Duff Sudamerica attorney Santiago Mora will appeal the decision.
“We’re not going to let ourselves be frightened by a multinational. We’re going to fight a battle that is just starting. We will defend our rights,” said Mora.
Alvaro Ballesteros insists they are not copying 20th Century Fox’s brand.
“It appears only in cartoons, in a fictional world. Here in Colombia we trademarked it and produced it first,” he said.
In 2007 the brothers founded Duff Sudamerica in Bogota, registering the trademark in 2008.
Good luck, fellas.
Why Moe, WHY – Fantastic mural of Homer wailing at the sight of a closed Moe’s in what the caption says is Spain.
Postal Service Stuck With Glut of ‘Simpsons’ Stamps – They overprinted $1.2 million worth of stamps. Meh.
TV GIFs Of The Week (And The Best Of Sideshow Bob) – There are an impressive amount of Sideshow Bob .gifs here. They start at #17 on the slideshow.
Page 2: Alien, Pixar, Terminator, Fight Club, Akira, The Simpsons, West Wing, Sharktopus, Michael Dorn, The Royal Tenenbaums, Ryan Gosling, Breaking Bad, Lawless – There’s a great looking monorail t-shirt here. Sadly, I couldn’t find it on the site that actually sells the shirt.
25 Best Supporting Characters From The Simpsons – This is gargantuan pageview whoring (some of the pages only have one(!) character on them) for a pretty unremarkable list, but there isn’t a trace of Zombie Simpsons. That may just be because Zombie Simpsons hasn’t created a character in pretty much ever, but it’s still a good list.
August 18, 2012: Peru 21 – Apparently:
The Simpsons are apparently so well-known that an editorial cartoonist in El Otorongo, Peru 21′s Friday humor pull-out section, can use one of Groening’s characters and make the assumption that the audience will catch the reference.
There’s even an example with Otto.
MLB: Describing Each 2012 Team with 90′s Songs – Excellent usage:
"Why do you need new bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It’s a scientific fact."
Ned Flanders by *OliviaWhyteART on deviantART – All color marker drawing of Flanders.
5 "Unfilmable" Novels That Became Movies & 5 More That Are On The Way – Excellent usage:
Like a red rag to a bull, the term "unfilmable novel" elicits about the same reaction for filmmakers as it does for Chief Wiggum in "The Simpsons" when he tells Ralph not to go into "the forbidden closet of mystery."
Wiggum actually calls it “my forbidden closet of mystery”, but that’s close enough for excellent usage.
Bart Simpson: Favorite of Rome’s Graffiti Writers – Picture of a large, happy looking Bart with spray paint in hand in Rome.
Meandering In Lotus Land: Sideshow Bob – Speaking of foreign graffiti, here’s Sideshow Bob on the side of a dumpster in Vancouver.
We’re reminded of Homer Simpson sitting in the audience at a Krusty the Klown comeback, staring blankly as the rest of the audience laughs and applauds. "I don’t get it," Homer says. the kids try to explain it to him.
Finally, Lisa tells Homer, "It’s a joke, Dad!"
"Oh! A JOKE! I get JOKES! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
The quote actually goes:
Homer: I don’t get it.
Lisa: Dad, the zebra didn’t do it. It’s just a word at the end of the dictionary.
Homer: I still don’t get it.
Lisa: It’s just a joke.
Homer: Oh, I get it! I get jokes.
And not only is the quote badly mangled, but it’s actually from Season 9 not Season 4. I rarely award poor usage, but there’s no way around this one.
Lucifur Loves Marge Simpson by *Alvyna on deviantART – Cat lounges ominously over a fan made Marge Simpson drawing.
Stark raving dad – I’m pretty sure I’ve posted this before, but it’s too cool not to post again:
Welcome Back, Kotter…In 10 Words – That Travolta joke is getting funny again.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo…In 10 Words – Remember last week when I said these posts sometimes inform me about things I’d rather not know about?
D’Oh! I Forgot My Lunch! – Cool looking Homer food. Unfortunately, the Japanese term for these kinds of things escapes me at the moment.
Word of the Week – I learned something today:
Anencephalous – Absence of a brain
There’s a picture of Homer and Bart from “Deep Space Homer” to illustrate.
D’oh! Dissident Xstrata shareholders resist Glasenberg’s reverse psychology – Excellent usage:
"Don’t you get it? You’ve gotta use reverse psychology," Homer Simpson’s brain says to its owner during one episode of The Simpsons. Homer resists his inner voice’s argument, causing it to retort: "OK, don’t use reverse psychology". "All right," Homer fires back, "I will."
Anatomy Of A Playboy Cover – Well, for whatever it was worth, the Playboy cover gimmick worked (at least relative to the time):
SB: What’s the best-selling issue? I’m guessing it’s not Marge Simpson, November 2009.
DB: Actually, the Marge Simpson issue was a best-seller! When doing the book I consciously didn’t make it a numbers game, though, because a best-seller is relative to how Playboy was selling overall. For example, Playboy was selling more than seven million copies monthly in the ’70s, but doing only a few million today, so it wouldn’t be possible for a Playboy issue today to sell more than an issue in the ’70s because there literally wouldn’t be enough copies printed to do so.
How Electronic Arts resurrected its DOA Simpsons game – The Simpsons city building game is now live again after having been taken down months ago. The subtext of all this is that EA sucks and rushed it out the door to try and coincide with the 500th episode crap.
Random Fact #229 – I collect seasons of The Simpsons on DVD.
I’ve been collecting The Simpsons for about 1o years and have seasons 1-9 (I think). I break them out and do marathons once in a while.
You have just the right seasons.
John Waters on The Simpsons – A moustache salute to not only real John Waters, but Simpsons John Waters.
Coolest Marge Simpson Costume – The hair is always the tricky part:
I took a knee high pair of pantyhose, with the sticky part that is supposed to attach to leg, and shoved as much cotton as I could fit into one of the legs. Then I ran a wire through it for support. I also added an elastic circle to the wire when I realized that the sticky stuff was not enough to keep the wig on my head. Finally, I spray painted my creation blue.
my brain’s all broken but I’m feelin’ alright….. – Animated .gif of Lisa dancing from “Flaming Moe’s”.
Ukraine wants to ban cartoon Spongebob Squarepants… as it ‘promotes homosexuality’ – And finally, Britain’s Daily Mail tacitly agrees with us. In a story about the Ukraine’s “National Expert Commission for Protecting Public Morality” (whatever the hell that is), they put up a screen grab from Zombie Simpsons with this caption:
The Simpsons: Despite more than a decade of relatively trouble-free episodes, popular Fox TV show has also come under Ukrainian criticism
Zombie Simpsons has indeed been toothless and trouble-free for a decade now. (via)
“Now, I believe you have some sort of firearm for me.” – Homer Simpson
“Well, let’s see here. According to your background check you’ve been in a mental institution.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy
“Yeah.” – Homer Simpson
“Frequent problems with alcohol.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy
“Oh yeah.” – Homer Simpson
“You beat up President Bush.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy
“Former President. . . . ‘Potentially Dangerous’?” – Homer Simpson
“Relax, that just limits you to three hand guns or less.” – Bloodbath & Beyond Gun Shop Guy
“Woo-hoo!” – Homer Simpson
A couple of weeks ago I mentioned in Reading Digest that there was a show of Simpsons related artwork in Newcastle, Australia running through October 22nd. Reader Adam (many thanks!) was nice enough to send in not only a link to their page, but also to a gallery of photographs from the opening night. The pictures aren’t all high resolution, but there is more than enough to give you a good sense of what’s there. I was particularly taken by the Monty Burns Dress Up item:
See my vest!
Unfortunately, I can’t make out the name in the lower right there, but it’s #25 is the gallery here. (Facebook will pester you to log in, but you don’t need to.) In some of the other photos you can see people putting the different outfits on him. The best part is that everything is there: the grizzly bear underwear, the hat that twas his cat, and the red robin suits that come one breast or two. It even has tiny genitalia!
Other highlights include the Scarface poster with Fat Tony (#16), the highly stylized shooting of Mr. Burns (#35), and The Neon Claws of Gamblore (#46). There’s a list of contributing artists here, but I didn’t see anything that put names to works. If anyone has better attribution for any of these I’ll gladly put it up along with links. Thanks to Adam for the tip, and a bravo to all you Australian artists out there.
“Try the Sleep-Eazy Motel, I woke up there once, seemed nice.” – Selma Bouvier
“Why can’t we stay here?” – Marge Simpson
“Uh, we have a gentleman caller.” – Selma Bouvier
“Hey, this TV’s not broken, it’s just unplugged.” – Unsuspecting Gentleman Caller
There’s no new Zombie Simpsons until September at the earliest (October? fingers crossed!), so we’re going to spend the summer overthinking Season 9. Why Season 9? Because we did Season 8 last summer, and Season 9 was when the show started becoming more Zombie than Simpsons. Since we’re too lazy to do audio and too ugly to do video, we’ve booked a “chatroom” (ours is right between the one with the sexy seventh graders and the one with the bored federal agents pretending to be sexy seventh graders). So log on to your dial-up AOL and join us. This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “euthanasia”).
Mad Jon: Shall we begin?
Charlie Sweatpants: Sure, football or handguns? (America, Fuck Yeah!)
Mad Jon: Handguns
Dave: Let’s do it.
Charlie Sweatpants: Sounds good, I like this episode, it’s easily middle of the road for nine in that there’s a lot of funny stuff, and the only real problem is Homer’s behavior.
Mad Jon: I feel like this episode started well, but the middle sucked, minus a few funny lines, and the ending was mediocre.
And Homer’s Behavior was definitely the catalyst
Dave: I’m with Jon.
Charlie Sweatpants: Can’t complain too much about the end, the Sl-e—azy Motel was great.
The problem with this episode is excessive Jerkass Homer. Pretty much everything else is good.
Mad Jon: The Motel was good, but the multiple homer lying things kind of killed the deal.
Dave: The continental breakfast was genius. I intend to do that to someone I hate one of these days.
Mad Jon: I liked Quimby’s scene as well.
And the coin operated bible.
Charlie Sweatpants: That’s exactly what I’m talking about, everything but Homer works in this episode. Which is a good indicator of how topsy-turvy things are.
They’ve got a lot of good ideas, but Homer’s stupidity and jackassery are just too out of control.
Mad Jon: The NRA meetings were vey funny.
Especially Moe’s deal with the spine shooting and turning 1 gun into 5 gun.
Dave: To my point last week though, despite the funny stuff, it’s not in my regular rotation because Homer is insufferable.
Mad Jon: The waiting period montage and the related Homer angry rant is probably my least favorite part.
Charlie Sweatpants: I kinda like the waiting period.
Dave: I kinda like it too. Just kinda.
Mad Jon: Meh
Charlie Sweatpants: It’s definitely a little slow, but it isn’t half bad.
Mad Jon: It is a precursor to Homer montage scenes.
It’s like the sniffles that precede pandemic flu.
You can’t coddle things like this.
Dave: Well put.
Charlie Sweatpants: Fair enough. However, if the show had ended a year or two after this, like it should have, you’d hate it a lot less.
Mad Jon: Fair enough. Call me jaded, even jaded enough to devote a small amount of my time to a blog dedicated to the end of Zombie Simpsons.
Charlie Sweatpants: Boo-hoo.
Mad Jon: However, my point is valid. Homer’s montages get worse each time, and the rants go on like this for minutes sometimes.
Charlie Sweatpants: I’m not disagreeing with that part, only that it’s a little unfair to hold those against this.
Mad Jon: I will say I do like the Homer daydream sequence after he thinks about robbing the Kwik-E-Mart.
Charlie Sweatpants: You gotta to lose yourself in the moment, man.
Mad Jon: Fine.
Charlie Sweatpants: The other nice thing about this episode, and it’s true of a lot of 9, is that there are quite a few good, usable quotes.
Mad Jon: That is very true.
Dave: Can’t argue with that.
Charlie Sweatpants: The part about putting a price on your family’s lives, the “TV said that?” disbelief in Homer’s voice, Patti and Selma’s “gentlemen caller” thing, and, of course, all the soccer stuff.
That earns this episode a lot of leeway in my mind.
Mad Jon: Oh jeez, the price on the family’s lives quote is gold.
Soccer stuff too.
Charlie Sweatpants: I’m also fond of Homer’s “we’ll argue some more” line about if Marge doesn’t believe him.
Mad Jon: I also like the multiple King of England references.
Dangerous or delicious animals…
Charlie Sweatpants: Especially how Homer browbeats Lisa into agreeing with him.
That’s one of those great reverse-liberal jokes they do, where they implicitly agree with Lisa, but then crack on it by making fun of how impossible her ideals are.
Mad Jon: Yep, I just laughed about that.
Plenty of good material, definitely a middle of the road season 9 episode. There were a lot of parts that would be much worse if this was made a few seasons later.
Charlie Sweatpants: Agreed.
Mad Jon: And I agree with your last statement. Aren’t we a bunch of drunk agree-monkeys.
Dave: We’re precious.
Charlie Sweatpants: Well, Dave seemed to be bitching earlier. But I stand by my statement, the non-Homer stuff of this episode is great, the Homer stuff of this episode mostly sucks.
(And that’s because it’s basically Jerkass Homer.)
His whole, “doing household tasks with the gun” thing springs to mind.
Dave: I was half bitching.
I think you’re both more forgiving about 9′s flaws, that’s all.
You’re willing to look past them, I tend not to.
Charlie Sweatpants: But even that’s mitigated by things like his willingness to argue with Marge only to be stopped when he looks to Bart and Lisa and they both shake their heads.
Shit like that is funny, there just isn’t enough of it.
Mad Jon: I am willing to look past many things, but I renew my enthusiasm for hating on pre-cancerous symptoms that evolved into what we have in the latest seasons.
Charlie Sweatpants: This is why I’m in favor of euthanasia.
If you check out when the checking out is good, then no hard feelings.
Mad Jon: Also you won’t have to have other people wipe your ass.
Charlie Sweatpants: If the show had ended a season or two after this, I’d still watch this one about the same amount (way less than the best, but I don’t wince when I put it on).
Mad Jon: Fair enough, but I probably haven’t seen this episode in years before this chat came up.
Charlie Sweatpants: For about the fourth time: fair enough. Anything else here, or should we move on?
Mad Jon: Let’s go.
“Halfback passes to the center, back to the wing, back to the center. Center holds it . . . holds it . . . holds it.” – Kent Brockman
“HALFBACK PASSES TO CENTER, BACK TO WING, BACK TO CENTER, CENTER HOLDS IT – HOLDS IT – HOLDS IT!” – Generic Non-American
Good luck to everyone but fuckin’ England. (Love you in general, but not tomorrow.)
Image used under Creative Commons license from Flickr user taberandrew.
“If I didn’t have this gun, the King of England could just walk in here any time he wants and start shoving you around.” – Homer Simpson
British newspapers and broadcasters were all over the 20th anniversary stuff this week and as a result there are a ton of British links. In addition to that we’ve got an excellent piece of usage, a cool YouTube video, a twenty year old story about Simpsons licensing, somebody I don’t agree with and a couple of people I do. Enjoy.
The Simpsons: 10 classic episodes – This is up at BBC News, of all places. There’s only one true Zombie Simpsons episode and while I probably wouldn’t include “Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie” I have no other real complaints.
The 10 best Simpsons episodes ever – This list is from the TimesOnline and it doesn’t have anything past Season 7. Brilliant.
The Simpsons’ most memorable quotes – Again with the BBC. The list of Homer quotes is fantastic with nary a trace of Zombie Simpsons. Less so with the blackboard quotes.
The 20 best moments of The Simpsons’ 20 years on TV – This one’s from The Guardian, it’s got three entries from Zombie Simpsons and one from the movie meaning that this list is 80% cromulent. That’s a passing grade but leaves much room for improvement.
Top 5 Songs from the Simpsons and other favourites. – The blog doesn’t explicitly say, but I’m calling this one British based on the spelling (and the fact that I think she’s referencing the above link). Not a trace of Zombie Simpsons in the list. Cheers.
Too early for bread. – It never occurred to me to sing “Happy Birthday Lisa” in a bar. How empty my life has been.
Ron English x The Simpsons Homer/Jackson Pollock Video – This is just cool:
You can get a nice still image of the completed work here.
What Palin and Bart Simpson Have In Common…. – The clip of Glenn Beck asking Sarah Palin about her favorite Founder is your out of the gate leader for funniest political clip of 2010. Here it comes wrapped up with this:
About 12 years ago, there was an episode of "The Simpsons" in which Bart was supposed to deliver an oral report on Libya. Bart, of course, hadn’t done his homework and had no idea what to say. He stood up, cleared his throat, looked at the blank page in front of him, and winged it.
"The exports in Libya are numerous in amount," Bart said earnestly. "One thing they export is corn, or as the Indians call it, maize. Another famous Indian was Crazy Horse. In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrast. Thank you."
Bart actually says “The exports of Libya” but other than that it’s dead on. Excellent usage.
The Day Bart Simpson Got Me in Trouble – While I certainly don’t hope Zombie Simpsons continues for hundreds more episodes, this story is just too damned cool to ignore:
In the early 1990’s when the Simpsons cartoon series was just hitting it big nationally, Ice Capades struck a licensing deal with Matt Groening and Fox Television to include the costumed Simpsons characters in its touring ice show. They had previously done the same with the California Raisins. At the time, I was working for the firm lapin East/West, which handled the national publicity for Ice Capades.
Well, we were able to secure a live remote from Good Day New York. Gordon Elliott used to do live remote segments for the morning show, visiting communities. We pitched the show’s producers to have Elliott visit a community with Ice Capades skaters and the Bart Simpson costumed character and invite residents to come out and skate on a portable ice rink that we rented for the occasion.
Read the whole thing and marvel at the eternal power of copyright paranoia.
Why is The Simpsons Still Funny? – This is a few hundred words defending Zombie Simpsons and saying:
You have to take a step back and observe the bigger picture. The Simpsons is still funny. It has always been funny and it will continue to be funny for the rest of our conceivable lives—unless of course someone shows up and usurps the show from its throne. I look at you Jersey Shore.
We need to realize what the show has done for us—we need to realize that if Springfield had never come into our lives, we would all probably be nodding in agreement that 2 and a Half Men deserves to be immortalized as the greatest television masterpiece of our species.
Much like the Spurlock special, this cites nothing but jokes, characters and idea from the first few years as reasons why the show is great. Those things are great, and the show has done nothing with them in years. That’s why we criticize.
Scale of the Day #2: The Simpsons Scale – Mad Jon knows vastly more about music than I do so it’s possible he’ll disagree. But this sure sounds good to me:
Now this scale isn’t actually called “The Simpsons Scale”, but since it isn’t actually called anything [in western theory] I have decided to boldly name what no one has named before.
In reality the Simpsons scale is the melodic ascending pattern starting on the 4th degree, but it happens to be the pitch pattern used for the tonic harmonies in the theme music to The Simpsons, so I decree that the scale henceforth be known as…..
Matt Groening is the George Lucas of TV – This is a little bit harsher on Groening that I’m willing to be but it’s as well constructed a nerd rant as you’re going to see. (Although that should be a \ not a / in the image at the top.)
Review: The Simpsons Arcade (Appstore, $4.99) – A more positive take on that generic Simpsons iPhone game.
20 Years of The Simpsons, 10 Years of Good Episodes – Finally, I get to end the way I like, with another person who thinks Zombie Simpsons sucks:
I got 15-20 minutes into the show before I was compelled by boredom to change the channel to ESPN. I get the same feeling watching newer episodes of The Simpsons that I get whenever I see some attempt to revive Loony Tunes or any other classic cartoon. They almost always come off as pale imitations of the original classics. This what The Simpsons feel like now. Some of the jokes are funny, but the plots are not up to the high standards of the 90s, the characterization is off, and the voices are no longer right thanks to the aging of the voice actors. Oh well, at least all the classic episodes from the 90s are readily available on DVD (which is a godsend because you can’t count on syndicated reruns with all those 21st century Simpsons episodes in the mix) .