“Can you let me have it for forty dollars?” – Martin Prince
“Forty bucks? Forget it! You made me get off my stool for that?” – Comic Book Guy
“It’s all I’ve got! I sold seeds, I visited my aunt in the nursing home, I fished a dime out of the sewer for God’s sake!” – Martin Prince
Happy Birthday Russi Taylor!
“Today, we wash Beulah. You know what that is?” – Mrs. Glick
“Some old lady thing nobody’s heard about for fifty years?” – Bart Simpson
“No. It was my wedding dress. But then I dyed it black and it became my mourning dress.” – Mrs. Glick
“Excuse me, sir, has anyone turned in a left Vulcan ear?” – Martin Prince
“Let’s see, uh, we got a utility belt, couple of tri-corders, a light saber . . . sorry, kid.” – Comic Convention Lost and Found Guy
“Who’re you supposed to be?” – Comic Convention Guy
“I’m Bartman!” – Bart Simpson
“Never heard of him, full price.” – Comic Convention Guy
We’ve got several comic book links this week, but the first one is over the moon outstanding. On top of that there’s another piece of banana art, another Harry Shearer interview, lots of lists, a Julie Kavner update, and what may be the most awesome Kang (or is it Kodos?) t-shirt ever made.
Enjoy.
The Line It Is Drawn #62 – Comic Book Characters/Simpsons Characters – Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week is almost too awesome for words, and I’m not even a big comic book fan. This is worth clicking for the drawing of Lovejoy as “Reverend” alone, and that’s just one of them.
Top Ten Treehouses of Horror – As usual, nobody likes Zombie Simpsons, there’s one segment from Season 11 here, but nothing past that.
Kang from The Simpsons – Best Kang t-shirt ever? Best Kang t-shirt ever.
Time to waste time with Harry Shearer – Another non-Simpsons interview with Shearer, this one about ballsy comedies conducted by the Adult Swim people.
The Simpsons’ Top 11 Musical Guests – A truly cromulent list, lots of YouTube, and just a whiff of Zombie Simpsons towards the end.
The Gay Gal’s Guide to the 10 Best Halloween Episodes. – Our friend Lenny breaks it down, with Treehouse of Horrors coming in at #10 and #1.
Woody’s ‘Honeymoon’ Home Run – A while back I linked to that play Julie Kavner was going to be in. Well, here’s the review:
“Honeymoon Motel” is in a league of its own. It takes place entirely in the garish hideaway to which Jerry Spector (Steve Guttenberg) has abducted his son’s bride, Nina Roth (Ari Graynor), dragging her from under the chupah. Before long, the entire wedding party wends its way to the motel room, including Jerry’s horrified best friend, Eddie (Grant Shaud), his wife, Judy (Caroline Aaron), Nina’s parents, Fay (Julie Kavner) and Sam (Mark Linn-Baker), and even the pompous rabbi (Richard Libertini).
The insults and recriminations fly, with a constant string of revelations about each character’s most embarrassing flaws and most intimate sexual history. Kavner, whose nasal voice is best known as the voice of cartoon character of Marge Simpson, is especially funny as a doleful, cantankerous woman whose own marriage leaves much to be desired.
Love In The Time Of Matt Groening – The perils of dating a non-Simpsons fan, both highly entertaining and kinda depressing.
A Love Letter to Lisa Simpson – Pretty much what it says. Sadly contains Zombie Simpsons YouTube, happily also contains actual Simpsons YouTube.
Homer Simpson carved on to banana – Last week we had the Marge banana, here’s the Homer version.
I am the 1 Percent. – Burns is the 1%.
Best thing to happen to The Simpsons in YEARS, the “couch gag” at the end by John Kricfalusi. Behold actual funniness: – If you want to watch the Ren & Stimpy opening, Freakoutville has you covered.
Some records might not be worth having – From a tongue in cheek NHL breakdown:
Brendan Shanahan At the current pace, his “Brendan Shanahan Explains a Suspension” series will have produced more episodes than The Simpsons by mid-December.
Heh.
Coke Names – This is almost excellent usage:
A couple of weeks ago when I saw ‘Wen’ as one of the names, I had a theory that some Coke execs’ son got his name on one of the bottles. Now with these other wacked-out names floating around, I came to believe the execs must be playing around with a Sarah-Palin-name-generator.
The whole thing reminds me of the old Simpsons scene:
Bart: Cool! Personalized plates! Barcley, Barry, Barry, Bert, Bort…come on…Bort?
Kid: Mommy mommy! Buy me a license plate!
Mom: No! Come along Bort!
Guy: Are you talking to me?
Mom: No, my son’s name is also Bort.
“Barry” is only said once, and the mom says “No, my son is also named Bort”, but other than that it’s dead on.
canned squid – It’s a real thing, which understandably prompted this:
it reminds me too much of the Simpsons episode where they buy cans of plankton. i am not trying to hate on canned sea creatures, but….for some reason that canned plankton just sticks with me as a real benchmark of what i’d like to avoid.
I’ve had enough good sushi in my life to know that squid can be delicious, but that does not look appetizing.
Keep your shirt on while you ogle them – Tiny representations of pop culture characters. The Simpson family are among the easiest here.
Top ten Twilight Zone references in pop culture – Only one entry from The Simpsons and it’s at #9? That’s shockingly low placement.
Top 10 Reasons Why I Love America | Debating Dykes – Ah, this is better. It’s a list of ten things about what makes America great with entries for an entire family of television channels (#7 ESPN) as well as the concept of television itself (#4 Television), and The Simpsons still makes the list with its own entry.
THE SIMPSONS Treehouse Of Horror XXII Promo Posters – There they are. You likely won’t remember them a week after the episode airs, but they’re there if you want to see them.
Today’s hybrid dessert: Doughnut Cake. Someday: Cookie-stuffed Pie, Chocolate Lava Baked Alaska* – Oh man, that pink frosted donut cake.
Long Night Of Driving And Gyros – It’s a YouTube video of nothing but the drunk cameraman “Technical Difficulties” sign and “Spanish Flea”. Well done, whoever.
The 10 Most Memorable Simpsons Alter-Egos – This is 100% Colombian link bait (it contains some guy from Season 21 I’d forgotten about and Armin Tamzarian), and it isn’t all that funny. I’m just linking it as further proof that no one remembers anything about post Season 10 Simpsons.
Hector Villagra: Who Should Police the Police? – Excellent usage:
In 1994, Lisa Simpson — daughter of Homer, sister of Bart — posed the question that continues to plague law enforcement: "If you’re the police, who will police the police?"
Homer answered, "I dunno; Coast Guard?"
New York Shitty Photo du Jour: Eyes On The Street – A little graffiti outline of Marge.
Six and a half cracking Star Wars parodies – Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con is on here, and there’s lots of good YouTube.
A Simpsons Suffering – Allow me to answer these for you:
The Simpsons is a great show, or at least it was. The last decade has seen a clear decline in quality and ratings, and the show is no longer the alpha male in a pack of youthful ani-coms. But then again, drama like this often gives fire to an otherwise chilled entertainer. Now that the Simpsons is given another chance, and has less money as well, should we expect some sort of new exciting chapter in the Simpsons story? Will the writers, cast, and producers try to prove themselves to a patient fan base and a doubtful network? We shall certainly hope.
Respectively, the answers are “no” and “no”. Hope is futile, at least when it comes to Zombie Simpsons.
Basket Case…In 10 Words – “Give it a try. It’s like kissing a peanut.” “Homer, I want that thing out of my house.”
Comic Book Pick of the Day: Simpsons Comics #180 – A positive review of the comic book.
Magazine Design Fail – A less than positive review of the comic book.
The Simpsons – If you’re using Simpsons in the classroom (book link goes here), there are a ton of things you can do:
Other themes you could use with The Simpsons; the elderly (Abe Simpson), friendship, families, childhood, marriage, relationships, responsibility… there are loads more I’m sure. You could also use it when studying narrative tenses, and get the students to write the plot of the story.
Stay south of Season 10 and you’ll find more themes than Shakespeare.
Most Misleading Movie Titles Ever – Excellent reference:
The NeverEnding Story – 1985
Now this one was just too obvious not to write about! I love the episode of The Simpsons where Lionel Hutz admits that he actually tried to sue the creators of this film for false advertisement.
[…]
I can imagine the court room scene now though. A really sharp looking laywer in full business suit complaining of the emotional torment and stress this film caused their client because they bought the film only because it promised to never end and the client thought “what a bargain.”
Hey, weird German puppets are their own never ending story, and Atreyu’s adventures live on inside all of us. Also, they did make two sequels, and, oh crap, apparently they’re remaking it as well.
An EB Expo, GoW3, Simpsons and Mango Epic. – A four year belated review of the Simpsons video game:
I’ve gone 4yrs back in time and started playing The Simpsons game. The camera angles are, quite frankly, complete shit. The number of times I have climbed up a pole and then tried to jump off onto a ledge, only to fall to my death because it’s so difficult to line it up properly is ridiculous. In general though, I am actually really, really enjoying it.
The Simpsons. Yet Again. – This is more generous than I’m willing to be, but I can’t disagree with any of it:
What transpired, most notably in the recent years, were episodes that came off as…disjointed. Story lines came about that were unbelievable, and quite frankly, completely off-book as far as the Simpson’s canon goes….
Yup, that’s about the size of it.
“Ah, these Laramie cigarettes give me the steady nerves I need to combat evil.” – Radioactive Man
“Gee willikers, Radioactive Man, wished I was old enough to smoke Laramies.” – Fallout Boy
“Sorry, Fallout Boy, not until you’re sixteen.” – Radioactive Man
Happy 20th anniversary to “Three Men and a Comic Book”! Original airdate 9 May 1991.
“Who’s that?” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, that’s my brother Asa. He was killed in the Great War. Held a grenade too long.” – Mrs. Glick
“This one’s for you Kaiser Bill, special delivery from Uncle Sam and all the boys in D Company. Yeah, Johnny, Harris, Brooklyn Bob, and Reggie, yeah, even Reggie, he ain’t so stuck up once you get to-” – Asa
“Ugh, I am through with working. Working is for chumps.” – Bart Simpson
“Son, I’m proud of you! I was twice your age before I figured that out.” – Homer Simpson
“You know, kids, I’m sure we’d all like to remember actor Dirk Richter for his portrayal of Radioactive Man, and not the sordid details of his final years, so let’s keep the questions tasteful, okay?” – “Close Encounter of the Comic Book Kind” Convention Guy
When The Simpsons was still on the air, one of the most remarkable things about it was the sheer joke density of the writing. There were very few lines that weren’t jokes of some kind. Somewhere in the Ortved book, which I don’t have with me at the moment, someone recalls that at a writers’ meeting once they were arguing over a line. They were trying to cram extra gags into a single line so maniacally that whoever was in charge had to call a halt to things and say, “One joke per joke”.
The above is a perfect example of that kind of relentless obsession with pitch perfect comic density. All by itself it’s a damn funny line, alluding to all those marvelously salacious stories of what happens to celebrities once the spotlight fades. And putting it into the mouth of a nervous adult who clearly doesn’t want to be discussing such things in front of kids just makes it better. But it’s not even the joke, it’s just a setup.
The real joke comes twenty seconds later (twenty seconds of dialog that’s also crammed with punchlines), when Bart asks, “Do you think the ghost of Dirk Richter haunts the bordello where his bullet riddled body was found?” Bam, payoff! Now we know about those “sordid details” and, of course, it leads to Buddy Hodges’ hilarious breakdown where he calls Richter a “beautiful man”.
“Here you go, Apu.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, very good. Would you like the deposit defrayed from the cost of a jumbo cherry Squishee?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“No, not today. I need the dime.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, it is good to see you are learning a trade.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Guess what? For a dollar a man sold me thirty-five “Casper”s and a dozen “Lois Lane”s.” – Lisa Simpson
I think the total number of links is down this week, but I also think I spent more time on some of them than I usually do. Whether or not this means an increase in quality or an increase in useless bloat is up to you, the reader. There’s an Ortved book review, a great blog (it’s the first link), some fan made art that combines Krusty and vodka, a philosophical question, and lots of usage.
Enjoy.
Update 5:57pm: The link about the interview with Simpsons alum Bill Oakley doesn’t video, but someone from the show he was on commented and pointed it out on YouTube. I’ve put up a separate post with the interview embedded. Many thanks.
my favorite songs from the simpsons – This list is 100% pure Colombian WIN. It’s all classics, it’s got YouTube for all of them (though embedding is disabled on one) and the title of the blog is “lovely entropy”. Mmmmm, lovely entropy. As a special bonus if you click over there – which I strongly recommend you do – check out the graphic on the right hand side of “Links for Sunday”. If you have picked up a Nintendo controller in the last quarter century you will not be disappointed. (Also, she liked Ortved’s book.)
BE MORE FUNNY! – This review of Ortved’s book strikes me as rather harsh. He criticizes using the concept of an “oral history” without freshly interviewing many big names but doesn’t mention the fact that getting guys like Simon, Swartzwelder, Meyer or Groening might be impossible. This, in particular, strikes me as rather narrow minded:
But hey, we spend lots of time talking to various execs from Fox, and learn all about how the show got on the air–as if that’s the story anybody wants to hear.
I wanted to hear that. I really enjoyed learning about how the show first got off the ground, if anything it gave me a fresh appreciation for just how fucking lucky we are that The Simpsons ever existed. The alignment of planets that allowed a show with that much editorial freedom to be so widely distributed at such a ripe moment for cultural satire will very likely never come again.
I would also take exception to this:
He claims The Simpsons was unique in sitcom history for its caustic worldview, though everything from Sgt. Bilko to Buffalo Bill prove otherwise. He wants us to believe that the show appeared fully-formed in a sea of prime time mediocrity, though its first season was wobbly and the network landscape already included Cheers, Roseanne, The Wonder Years and an early incarnation of Seinfeld. (True, none of these shows were as good as The Simpsons at its best, but they weren’t chopped liver.)
Yes shows like “Cheers” and “Roseanne” were very popular and probably better than most of the dreck on television, but they were also formulaic as hell and nobody quotes them anymore. Whereas people still talk about and quote Season 1. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
Lack of interest, or short attention span? – I don’t really agree with this guy’s point (especially about the History Channel, which is now a non-historical cesspool almost 24 hours a day) but he does start it off with a great quote and he gets it dead on correct. So, excellent usage.
Absolut Krusty – It’s an image that’s exactly what you think it will be, but it’s still neat.
FOX 2009-10 Season Finale Dates – Summer vacation from Zombie Simpsons starts May 23rd.
Top 9 Cartoon Characters with Glasses – Frink is on here, and Hans Moleman is #1, but I get the feeling (especially looking at the honorable mentions) that this list could’ve very easily been all Simpsons and South Park.
The Dumbest Generation: How the Digital Age Stupefies Young Americans and Jeopardizes Our Future – Way to go kid in the comments.
Jokes For Your Mobile Phone – This is just horribly mangled:
"If a man wants to earn any money in this world, then they have to work! Now shut up son I’m trying to hear the lottery numbers."
The actual quote is:
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.”
Poor usage.
Bart Simpson Kids Bicycle Bell New – This is exactly what it says it is, I’m only linking it because on the picture you can clearly see the copyright is 1997. Anything and everything that can have a Simpson slapped on it will, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
An unequivocal ‘no’ – The question is “Does suffering improve us?”. I tend to agree, suffering, on balance, sucks ass. And this is excellent usage, apt and perfectly quoted:
I suspect that, as usual, The Simpsons gets it right. In one episode, Homer thinks he has 24 hours to live, but actually survives into the 25th. Jubilant, he declares, "From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest!" Over the credits, we see him back in front of the TV, his belly the only thing filled to its fullest.
Why Smithers Picked Me . . . – This is funny, but not, I think, in the way its author intended. The blog is from some consulting company in Utah (it seems to average about three posts a month). They’re peddling a book on “leadership” and seminars where people probably sit slack jawed and listen quietly in order to learn how to be inspiring leaders. Here is the opening of this post (bold in the original):
In his typical upside-down thinking, the popular cartoon character Homer Simpson once observed, “I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.”
I don’t think Homer quite gets it. He is confusing obligation with inspiration. When Homer is “on the job,” his co-workers are obligated to work hard because he’s slacking off, rather than choosing to work hard because he inspires them. There’s a big difference.
He gets the quote slightly wrong (there should be an “always” between “everyone” and “says”) but the real fun is No-Shit-Sherlock quality of the second paragraph. Are you trying to tell me that Homer Simpson – Homer Simpson(!) – isn’t a good employee? Holy shit, I had no idea. It goes on from there and eventually concludes that even Homer could become a good “leader” with their books and seminars.
For bonus fun check out their actual website. It is a masterpiece of generic, small business web design. It features the unnecessary use of Flash, a contact page that doesn’t list an e-mail address but does have a submission form with 10 required fields, and, the paramount requirement for all websites of this type, lots of stock photos of smiling, multi-ethnic people in business attire.
60% Off Abraham Lincoln Children’s Book – Through February 21st you can get a kids book by Mike Reiss for just $5. The book is called “The Boy Who Looked Like Lincoln”, check this out:
Life isn’t easy for Benjy. He looks just like Abraham Lincoln — right down to the wart and beard. He receives stovepipe hats for every birthday and has to play Lincoln in every school play — whether he’s part of the story or not. The teasing never stops.
But then he spends a summer at Camp What-cha-ma-call-it — for Kids Who Look Like Things!
And if you’re wondering, yes, Reiss is credited on “Homer’s Triple Bypass”.
Friend Qualifiers – Can you be good friends with someone who doesn’t like The Simpsons? I suppose you can but I am always dismayed when people shrug their shoulders at the show. I blame Zombie Simpsons for cheapening them.
Lea Michele, Cory Monteith and Amber Riley to appear on The Simpsons – Some of the cast of Glee is going to guest voice next season on Zombie Simpsons. Cross promotion troopers, forward!
Bill Oakley – Oakley was on a Portland area TV show that broadcasts at 6:30 in the morning on Sundays. Uh, I missed it. Unfortunately I can find neither video nor a transcript.
The Simpsons Movie (2007, Animated Satire) – 1/10 movie review – I’m not a big fan of the movie, but this guy really hates it:
Made several years after The Simpsons ran out of ideas, jokes and even vaguely competent writing and story-telling ability, this is an embarrassing (featuring the ever hilarious lynch mob, glassing, homosexual policemen, suicide and pig beastiality), unconvincing, boring and amazingly unfunny big-screen outing for the yellow ones. According to IMDb, it took 158 drafts to remove all the jokes. It culminates in the most horrifying word they could possibly utter: sequel.
At least we know he hates Zombie Simpsons.
“Well, you know what I think? I think Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich.” – Bart Simpson
“Hey, they do look alike!” – Lisa Simpson
“Wonder how Richie died…” – Bart Simpson
“Perhaps he realized how hollow the pursuit of money really is and took his own life.” – Lisa Simpson
“Kids, could you lighten up a little?” – Marge Simpson
That is how you end an episode between Bart and Milhouse. Or, if you need them to reconcile, you can have Bart smash open a Magic 8 Ball on Milhouse’s skull, but it’s a sweet moment because he didn’t use the brick, broken bottle or pair of scissors.
Flowers and apologies? Fuck off, Zombie Simpsons.
“Hey, when I was your age fifty cents was a lot of money.” – Homer Simpson
