Posts Tagged ‘Whacking Day


Quote of the Day


“I got separated from my platoon after we parachuted into Dusseldorf.  So I rode out the war posing as a German cabaret singer . . . Won’t you come home Franz Brauser, won’t you come home?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“Yoo-hoo . . . Ach du lieber! Das is not eine booby!” – Adolf Hiter

Happy Birthday Sam Simon!


Quote of the Day

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“Everyone likes Whacking Day, but I hate it.  Is there something wrong with me?” – Lisa Simpson
“Yes, honey.” – Homer Simpson

Happy Whacking Day everybody!


Quote of the Day

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“Take that snake!  And you too!  Snakes, snakes everywhere!” – Barney Gumble
“Getting ready for Whacking Day?” – Lenny
“What’s Whacking Day?” – Barney Gumble

Happy Whacking Day!


Quote of the Day

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“Now, we give ’em the bikes, no one sues.” – Principal Skinner
“What if they’re dead, sir?” – Groundskeeper Willie
“Then we ride these bikes to Mexico, and freedom, Willie, freedom!” – Principal Skinner
“Freedom?  Yeah, I’ll turn you in at the first toll booth.” – Groundskeeper Willie

Happy 20th anniversary to “Whacking Day”!  Original airdate 29 April 1993.


Quote of the Day

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“Bart, I’d like you to read this copy of Johnny Tremain, it’s a book I read as a girl.” – Marge Simpson
“A book?  Pfft.” – Bart Simpson
“I think you might like this.  It’s about a boy who goes to war, his hand is deformed in an accident.” – Marge Simpson
“Deformed?  Why didn’t you say so?  They should call this book Johnny Deformed.” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

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“Hey, kids, how was school?” – Homer Simpson
“I learned how many drams in a pennyweight.” – Lisa Simpson
“I got expelled.” – Bart Simpson
“That’s my boy!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

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“But killing snakes is evil.” – Lisa Simpson
“Maybe so, Lisa, but it’s part of our oh so human nature.  Inside every man is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved.” – Homer Simpson
“I am Evil Homer!  I am Evil Homer!  I am Evil Homer!  I am Evil Homer!” – Homer’s Brain

It’s May 10th, Happy Whacking Day, Everybody!


Quote of the Day


Image yoinked from here.

“So, what’s the word down at One School Board Plaza?” – Principal Skinner
“We’re dropping the geography requirement, the children weren’t testing well.  It was proving to be an embarrassment.” – Superintendent Chalmers
“Very good, back to the three “R”s.” – Principal Skinner
“Two “R”s, come October.” – Superintendent Chalmers


Crazy Noises: The Falcon and the D’Ohman

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“And why is a cafeteria worker posing as a nurse?” – Superintendent Chalmers
“I get two paychecks this way.” – Lunchlady Doris
“D’oh.” – Superintendent Chalmers

As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another.  More dedicated or modern individuals might use Twitter for this, but that’s got graphics and short links and little windows that pop up when you put your cursor over things.  The only kind of on-line communications we like are the kind that could once be done at 2400 baud.  So disable your call waiting, plug in your modem, and join us for another year of Crazy Noises.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (embarrassingly so on “hepcat”).

I’m in no position to be a sanctimonious scold over this because I never met either Phil Hartman or Doris Grau, but there is something inherently off putting about the way his characters were permanently retired while Lunchlady Doris keeps popping up.  I understand that he was much younger, a vastly bigger star, and that his death was enormously more shocking.  But Lunchlady Doris was inextricably linked to Doris Grau just as Hartman’s characters were to him, and it seems more than a tad callous for Zombie Simpsons to have a poor facsimile of her inimitable voice say things this disposable:

We can’t keep serving the same thing every day.  These kids have mashed potatoes coming out of their ears.

Sometimes shows have to replace actors because, hey, death happens, but you ought to have a better reason than something that extraneous. 

Grau made Lunchlady Doris what she was, so much so that even the non-speaking parts were imbued with her trademark indifference.  When Lisa asks her if she remembers when she lost her passion for her work, Lunchlady Doris doesn’t say anything as she presses the Independent Thought Alarm, but you can practically hear that raspy voice anyway.  Like it or not, that died when Grau did, and Zombie Simpsons would’ve been better to leave it alone. 

[Dave’s back this week, and just in time too because Mad Jon couldn’t make it.]

Charlie Sweatpants: You ready to go?

Dave: Let’s.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m not sure where to start with this one, but neither were they.

  They had not one, not two, but three non-relevant openings.

Dave: It was really a lousy pastiche of all the things that are reprehensible about the direction the show has taken.

Charlie Sweatpants: First there was Comic Book Guy talking into the camera, then there was Homer’s weird musical intro, then there was Marge’s celebrity dream. It almost felt like they were reluctant to start the episode.

Dave: But one of them was semi-interactive and fourth wall-breaking!!

  In all seriousness they were terrible.

Charlie Sweatpants: To be fair, they ended the episode in much the same way. I’m pretty numb to Zombie Simpsons weird changes in direction, but I didn’t see North Korean Musical coming.

Dave: That can’t be construed as a good thing.

  It was just a thing.

Charlie Sweatpants: I guess when you’ve already done it so many times what’s one more fade to white? But, wow, that was unexpected. Did someone eat bad noodles and watch Team America?

They’re making it harder and harder to resist the Family Guy comparison, at least a quarter of this episode is either a dream, a flashback or a flash-forward.

Dave: Well right, the obnoxious and incessant pop culture references that are tangential to the "plot" don’t help their cause.

  Taiwanese CGI. Okay cool, but that was at least 6 months ago.

Charlie Sweatpants: Are you referring to the training flashback? Because that was awful.

The CGI thing was easily the best part of the episode, but even it a) went on too long, and b) isn’t nearly as topical as they want it to be.

Dave: Yeah, the flashback was bad. And the Taiwanese CGI wasn’t all that hot either.

It wasn’t topical because the show is painfully late to the party that started online weeks ago.

Charlie Sweatpants: Both struck me as promising to start, but I’ve learned not to get my hopes up for jokes like that because they pretty much always drag out.

For the CGI thing, the kind of people who are going to get that joke are the same people who are already kinda blase about it. When they try to be hip and cool like that they just end up showing their age worse than ever. South Park was on like two days after it hit on-line.

The insane Taiwan news reports are funny, but just copying one doesn’t make you clever.

Dave: Right. The show just isn’t on the right production cycle to pull these kinds of stunts off.

Charlie Sweatpants: Exactly.

The training sequence was more traditionally their style. It was going well right up to the pike man or so, I think he was third, then it just became an excuse to reference as many things as possible.

Dave: Yep. Just a few beats too long.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’d say more than a few. When the guys from "The Warriors" came out I knew they were scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Even outside of the many dream sequences, there was still a ton of that pointless action they seem to like so much. Why did Bauer’s fight with Snake take a minute and a half?

Dave: I mean, why not? We’re looking for an answer that doesn’t exist.

  It’s just the pace and MO of the show now.

Charlie Sweatpants: I know. All summer I kept seeing things in Season 10 that were like Zombie Simpsons, but in doing so I managed to forget (or block out) how truly awful the real thing is.

Say what you will about the Loch Ness Monster ending, and I have, but even that makes more sense than a shootout with ice skating gangsters and Homer frozen into a hockey rink.

Dave: Indeed.

Charlie Sweatpants: And then the mascots and other ice dancers showed up.

I don’t think television scripts are supposed to be based on free association like that.

Anything else here particularly jump out at you as unusually bad?

Dave: Nah. I mean, we had a repeat guest star and a random guest star in a show that more or less stitched together random pop culture errata but ignored what made its predecessor so successful in the first place – the family and the faintest semblance that it was all somehow grounded in reality.

Charlie Sweatpants: Good summation. I thought the desperation to get in on hepcat internet humor was probably the most desperate ploy. Ooh, auto-tune humor. Take that 2008!

Dave: Seriously. What will they think of next?

Charlie Sweatpants: There were two things I liked that weren’t subsequently spoiled by them dragging them through the mud. One was the closed sidewalk sign that said "Pay Sidewalk Coming". I don’t think that made it all the way to funny, but it’s definitely clever.

The second was Homer’s description of a terrorist fist bump as "the warmth of human contact with a manly whiff of violence". That one is funny. It wasn’t worth twenty minutes of my time, but it was funny.

Dave: Agree on the second point, lukewarm about the first.

Charlie Sweatpants: Sorry, I was trying to be lukewarm on the first. I just didn’t think it sucked the way the rest of this did.

Dave: Fair enough.

  Oh, one quick thought.

  You’ve talked about this in the past, but I couldn’t help but notice how flat the show looks these days in HD.

Utterly flat and devoid of character.

Charlie Sweatpants: No disagreement here.

Dave: It is not an animated show that benefits from HD, like Archer or Futurama.

  Or hell, even South Park, which is flat to begin with.

Charlie Sweatpants: I agree, though this is an instance where I’m inclined to give them a little slack. These characters and layouts were never designed with HD in mind.

I can and do blame them for the repetitive stories, the boring plots and all of the other ways the writing has fallen apart. But while the animation has definitely gotten stiffer, they are really limited with what they can do with modern animation while still keeping the overall look of the show.

Dave: Who knew you could be benevolent with Zombie Simpsons?

  I learned something tonight.

Charlie Sweatpants: I didn’t say it doesn’t suck.

  It does.

  I just said that in this one, narrow area the fact that it sucks isn’t due to apathy or laziness.

Okay, anything else?

Dave: Nada. I can’t believe we’re on Season 23 and have 22 more of these to go.

  I just made myself sad.

Charlie Sweatpants: Look on the bright side, maybe it’ll only be a 20 or 21 episode season.


Quote of the Day

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“Let’s hear it for our own Miss Springfield.” – Mayor Quimby
“Gentlemen, start your whacking.” – Miss Springfield

It’s May 10th, happy Whacking Day everybody!


Quote of the Day

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“Any experience?” – Olde Springfield Towne Casting Director
“Yes, I played Panicky Idiot Number Two in The Poseidon Adventure.” – Actor
“Sorry, we’re looking for more of a ‘duh duh’ idiot.” – Olde Springfield Towne Casting Director


Quote of the Day

“What do you think of the banners?” – Principal Seymour Skinner
“Nothing but transparent toadying.” – Superintendent Chalmers
“They were the children’s idea. I tried to stop them.” – Principal Seymour Skinner
“It’s always the children’s fault, isn’t it Seymour?” – Superintendent Chalmers
“Yes, yes it is sir.” – Principal Seymour Skinner


Quote of the Day

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“You people make me sick!” – Barry White
“Yea!” – Crowd
“Were they even listening to me?” – Barry White
“I, uh, don’t think so.” – Mayor Quimby

Happy Whacking Day everybody!


Quote of the Day

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“People of Springfield, Whacking Day is a sham!  It was started in 1924 as an excuse to beat up the Irish.” – Bart Simpson
“’Tis true, I took many a lump, but ’twas all in good fun!” – Irish Guy


More Simpsons Stained Glass

A while back we posted about an artist named Joseph Cavalieri who makes these surreal and very cool stained glass images with Simpsons motifs.  He was nice enough to send us an email with pictures of two new pieces he’s created.  If you want to see them up close and personal (and you’re in New York City) there’s a gallery show running until December 20th, directions here

Here’s the first piece, “Funerale di un’Amica (Funeral for a Friend)”:

“But you know, my mom says god never closes a door without opening a window.” – Bart Simpson
”No offense kid, but your mom’s a dingbat.” – Krusty the Klown

It’s tough to make out on that image, but that’s Springfield in the windows in the background, complete with power plant cooling towers. 

Then there’s this one, “The Countryman and the Serpent”:

 “And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others.” – Reverend Lovejoy

Once again I’m totally blown away by the detail and the skill it must take to create something like this, and that’s even without the freakishly cool imagery.  If you’re a Simpsons fan in New York you’ve got until December 20th to check them out in person. 


The Musical Fruit

“Well, beans were a staple of the Israelites, yes proceed.” – Springfield Christian School Teacher

I find this video strangely fascinating.  I don’t know if it’s the MIDI-level soundtrack, the way different beans are brought on and off the screen, the fact that Homer’s five o’clock shadow is done twice or the “d’oh” montage at the end (which is taken from “So It’s Come to This”).  

Whatever it is, it’s neat.


Quote of the Day


“But first, a look at the local holiday that was called ‘distasteful’ and ‘puerile’ by a panel of hillbillies . . . Whacking Day!” – Kent Brockman

Happy Whacking Day everybody!


If you stop praising it: Waverly Hillis 9-0-2-1-D’oh

“I’m sick of you people, you’re nothing but a pack of fickle mush heads!” – ‘Diamond’ Joe Quimby

“He’s right!” – Female Fickle Mush Head

“Give us hell Quimby!” – Male Fickle Mush Head

I usually look around various Simpsons forums so as to poke fun at the faithful before I watch the weekly crap fest, but this time I decided to watch it first.  And may I say that was a terrible episode, right on par with the rest of the season, and preceding seasons to boot.  I would also like to add that more and more of the comments/reviews are turning against the show, so finding good ones to make fun of is getting a bit harder, although not that hard yet.

But don’t take my word for it:

“Very entertaining it was, A better episode than I deserved.” – Gatorgod (

And I thought low was my self-esteem. Make a pill for that they do.

“Its been a while for a pretty good episode this one was a good episode.” – Corey M. (

In case you were wondering, Corey’s review was titled “good episode”

“I was almost rolling on the floor when Skinner got so offended that Chalmers sees over other schools!” – Ryan (

Good thing you have self control, perhaps you should apply it to your television choices as well.

“First two minutes, bashing on vitamin water and check engine lights. HA!” – R F (

And I thought I was the only one who finds humor in engine lights. (note: R F is this week’s grammar rodeo:  head buckaroo)

“Take that preschoolers, Al Jeans’ got his eye on you.” – FlyingHellfish (

You were all thinking it, FlyingHellfish here was just the first to say it.

“I wish they had spent a little more time lampooning the culture at such high schools…” – aliv3nw3ll (

I also wish The Simpsons would spend more time disseminating high school culture with 8 and 10 year olds. That’ll show them.

“Funniest scene was when Bart realized he had to go back to Springfield because he was in the middle of a Hide and Seek game with Milhouse.” – Grilka (

Funnier yet is that you mean that as a compliment.

Shame the ending felt rushed. Still very good though. 4/5″  -civver (

Interesting. Not only is your definition of ‘felt rushed’ the complete opposite of mine, so is your definition of  ‘very good’.

Another interesting note is that more and more of the discussions I read, especially on Hulu, turn into rants against Family Guy. I haven’t been religiously watching that show lately, but seriously, anyone who thinks Zombie Simpsons is good and recent Family Guys are terrible needs to go play with something poisonous.

Strike that, anyone who thinks Zombie Simpsons is good needs to go play with something poisonous. There we go.


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