20
Apr
09

For Once The Government And I Agree

“Hey Clinton, get back to work!” – Moe

“Make Me!” – Bill Clinton

There has been much talk about The Simpsons postal stamp deal and even though most of my thoughts about the subject fall in the ‘Unimpressed/Murderously Angry’ category, it has occurred to me that the US Government has made an overlooked statement here. Unless I am incorrect, and that may be the case as I have done absolutely zero research on the subject, a person must be dead for ten years before they are eligible to be on a postage stamp. I believe this to be the case because I remember seeing a news report about the Elvis stamps released quite some time ago, and I remember the news caster saying this was proof that Elvis was actually dead, and not at Krispy Kreme.

Disregarding the obvious point that The Simpsons are a cartoon and not a real person, it is clear to me that The USPS has decided to get on board with the team here at DHS. 

On May 2nd 1999 “Monty Can’t Buy Me Love” was broadcast. Simple logic would show that 5 days later the government (Lead at the time by Slick Willy, God bless’em) decided that in the depths of the fetid quagmire that was season 10, The Simpsons had died, leaving only a corpse which would soon be reanimated and roam the earth longing  to feed on the brains of unwitting fanboys.

Thank you Government, now if you would please issue a Matt Groening stamp I would be able to prove my theory that he has also been dead for a decade and any decisions regarding The Simpons since then have been made by the break dancing Richard Simmons robot brought in to replace him.

Also I apologize for writing yet another post regarding the stamps, but somethings just can’t be left unsaid.


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