01
Mar
10

Idiot to Enjoy Simpsons/Beer Marathon (Updated)

“My English is not perfect, but I have to tell you, your beer is like swill to us.  Do I have that right?  I am saying that only a swine would drink this beer.” – Fritz
“Yeah, but thank you anyway.” – Hans

The Olympics are over, the new football season is still six months away, and nothing really pops out at me from my Netflix list.  But I need something to feed my television addled mind this weekend so I have decided to revisit one of my favorite customs, one I mentioned a few weeks ago.

Step 1 – Plug laptop into television.

Step 2 – Queue up one (1) entire season of The Simpsons.

Step 3 – Watch, drink one beer per episode.*

Step 3.5 – Laugh to the point of tears on multiple occasions.

Step 3.75 – Do not die from laughter related asphyxiation.

Step 4 – Pass out upon seeing the credits roll on the last episode.

Step 5 – Wake up refreshed, relaxed, and a better human being.

*Our non-American readers can, if they so choose, insert their joke of choice about weak, American beer here.  I won’t do it for you because I happen to like American beer.  And besides, are you really going to do better than Hans and Fritz?

In the sidebar at right is a poll listing Seasons 2-6.  The poll will be open until Friday night and I will watch whichever season you marvelous people select.  I’m not including Season 1 because it’s only thirteen episodes and I’m not including Season 7 because I’ve been watching it a lot lately.  We may do this again and include them, but for right now those are the choices.

Furthermore, I am going to attempt (no promises) to post running updates here on the site.  (I will not be using Twitter because I get verbose when I drink and shoehorning things into 140 characters is not something I want to attempt while I’m trying to pay attention to my teevee.)  One of the pleasures of watching the show like this, in addition to the inflated sense of self esteem, is the way drunkenness and concentration help me appreciate it in different lights, new and old.  Something gets lost when you just have it on in the background, or leave it on while you fall asleep.  It’s also fun to plow through a season like this because the little themes that the writers were on about at the time become more readily apparent.

I expect to be made fun of for this and I look forward to it.  It also wouldn’t surprise me if someone shows up in comments or e-mail to chastise me for how unhealthy and/or irresponsible this is.  To the “unhealthy” charge my reply is, “I don’t care”, and to “irresponsible” I say “That’s sort of the point.”

So, please vote for your season of choice at right (and remember this is a low traffic blog so one vote might actually matter).  Note that Seasons 2, 4 and 5 are all twenty-two episodes, Season 3 is twenty-four episodes, and Season 6 is twenty-five episodes.  Which one you guys choose does not matter to me in the least.  I love them all and trust me when I say that once you’re twenty-two beers and eight-and-a-half hours in, three more beers and another hour doesn’t even register as a problem.  This little marathon should begin around 8:00am EST (13:00 GMT) Saturday, March 6th.

The poll will be open all week and will close at midnight on Friday night here in the States (05:00 Saturday the 6th GMT).  If you’re not sure which episodes are in which seasons epguides.com has a handy list with just the episode titles all on one page.  For a little more detail the invaluable SNPP has a season by season breakdown that include descriptions of each episode.

Saturday can’t get here fast enough.

Update 6 March: And it’s Season 5!  Thanks to everyone who voted, and a special thanks to the lone Season 2 voter.  I suspected 2 would come in last, but I didn’t think it’d be that lopsided. 

Season 5 Poll


12 Responses to “Idiot to Enjoy Simpsons/Beer Marathon (Updated)”


  1. 1 March 2010 at 11:49 am

    That sounds like fun.

    If you don’t finish the beer by the end of the episode do you crack a new one or do you have to wait til it’s gone before you can start the next episode?

    • 2 Charlie Sweatpants
      1 March 2010 at 1:25 pm

      I try to finish each one before the credits roll. Chugging is certainly involved sometimes, but for the most part it’s pretty easy to pace myself. The two act breaks (where the commercials once were) provide a good measuring stick, if the can’s still pretty full by the first one I know I need to speed up a little. Similarly if it’s almost empty at the second break I can slow down.

  2. 4 jamie
    1 March 2010 at 3:01 pm

    voted for season 3 because it sorta gets forgotten about

  3. 5 P. Piggly Hogswine
    2 March 2010 at 5:04 am

    I want assurances that you won’t be drinking Duff Zero, the short-lived prohibition alternative known for its robust taste, rather than it’s alcoholic content!

    I love the idea, it’s something I’ve wanted to do before, you’ll certainly get a different perspective once you get to the final 4-5 episodes of whatever season ends up winning. I chose Season 2. You’ll certainly have a more enjoyable time than that fool who watched every episode to break a record some weeks back.

    What beer will you be indulging in? Don’t worry, I won’t slag you off. I might be a proud Aussie, but I always pick Heineken or Becks over our local produce when the opportunity is there.

    • 6 Charlie Sweatpants
      2 March 2010 at 4:46 pm

      Oh, he’s never watched all of them back to back. Every story about it (going back more than a year) says that he intends to do it, but never that he’s actually doing it. His website currently says that it’ll be done before June 2010, we’ll see.

      As for the beer, barring an unexpected sale at my local supermarket, I’ll be going with my cheap beer of choice: Miller High Life. I took the brewery tour a few years ago and they brainwashed me; the champagne of beers has been by Duff substitute ever since. Actually, it was a lot like the Duff Brewery tour, especially in that at the end they give you ten minutes to basically chug three beers and then they’re like, “Okay, drive home safe.” Becks and Heineken, delicious and awesome though they are, are a bit too fancy for all day drinking.

  4. 7 Celia
    2 March 2010 at 12:44 pm

    I voted for s3 at random, because I had no real reason to single one particular season out. Except that s6 ends with “Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1” and it seems wrong somehow to end on a cliffhanger like that. Unless, of course, you’ve made yourself ill before then. Don’t make yourself ill.

  5. 8 D.N.
    2 March 2010 at 8:32 pm

    I haven’t cast my vote yet. I can’t decide between season 3 and season 4, my two favourite years of the show. I’m kinda leaning towards season 3, but seeing as how 4 is lagging behind, I feel like giving it a bump – besides, episodes like “Selma’s Choice” and “Duffless” are quite appropriate for a beer chug-a-thon.

    • 9 P. Piggly Hogswine
      3 March 2010 at 5:36 pm

      I’d like to be plastered whilst watching that memorable Duff Gardens scene when Selma/Lisa/Bart are on the boat. The ‘Duff Beer for me’ song is one of my ringtones, a truly addictive piece of music.


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