Reading Digest: Insufficient Zealotry Edition

 Dead Putting Society1

“Now, this is a picture of your enemy, Todd Flanders.  Every day, I want you to spend fifteen minutes staring at it, and concentrating on how much you hate him, and how glorious it will be when you and Charlene annihilate him!”
“Who’s Charlene?” – Bart Simpson
“I’ll show you who Charlene is!” – Homer Simpson

This week we have two links to people who think Zombie Simpsons is much worse than The Simpsons, and yet they cannot quite bring themselves to condemn it.  I find their lack of hate disturbing.  Oh well, it’s nice to have them on board, even a little bit.  We’ve also got a couple of foreign language links, two quotes from the same website, an interview with Harry Shearer, and an interesting look back at “Krusty Gets Busted”. 


Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on ‘House,’ ‘Chuck,’ ’24,’ ‘Supernatural,’ ‘Private Practice,’ and more! – Every time I visit Entertainment Weekly’s website, a little piece of me dies.  Nevertheless, there’s Zombie Simpsons news:

Question: Alyson Hannigan tweeted that she just recorded a role for The Simpsons. Got deets? Is this How I Met Your Mother-related? —Jenny
Ausiello: Nope. When Lisa’s substitute music teacher becomes the latest object of Skinner’s affection, the prince sets up Bart as a distraction for her zany daughter — Hannigan. The episode — titled “Flaming Moe” because the A-plot involves the barkeep and Smithers turning the local pub into a gay bar for non-hunks — will air in January 2011.

Yes, you read all of the above correctly.  Bart’s getting another love interest (probably), the episode title has been stolen from Season 3, and we’re going to get another craptacular gay episode.  American Hero Harvey Fierstein disapproves.  (Thanks to Alex via e-mail.) 

Selma, Paul e i ragazzi del sabato sera – The Simpsons, season 4, episode 13 – This is in Italian, which I do no speak.  But Google Translate did a decent job on it (from what I can tell), and it’s actually quite interesting.  In the Italian translation of “Selma’s Choice”, instead of one of the sperm donors in the catalogue being “one of the Sweathogs” but “not Horshack”, it’s one of the Beatles, but not Paul McCartney.  At least, according to Google Translate. 

Gaurd Your Beer With Style! – Krusty Brand Seal of Approval on this one, it’s a talking Homer that sits in your refrigerator and talks to you when you open it. 

Worn-out welcomes – This is an AV Club discussion of pop culture items you want to end, or wish had ended sooner.  Needless to say, Zombie Simpsons makes the cut:

Man, like most of you, I loved the seasons up until around 10, at which point I completely stopped watching for a while, except for the occasional burst here and there. I reviewed the animation bloc for TV Club last year, which required I get back to regularly watching, and I was shocked to find the show had become something completely different. No, it wasn’t absolutely terrible—I’m not one to think the show’s entire creative well ran dry back in the day—but it definitely felt like something wasn’t right.


People who’d never seen the old episodes probably thought they were hysterical, but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that things were better and richer before, and I found it impossible to sit back and enjoy an episode like it was meant to be enjoyed. For the sake of my own sanity, I like to think of The Simpsons as two completely separate, 10-season shows.

It’s nice to know that even people who find Zombie Simpsons tolerable can agree that this new show is a completely different entity than the old one.  (Thanks go to D.N. for the link.)

Salud, Uruguay! – This is an interesting post about one guy’s trip to Uruguay.  It contains a link (which is messed up) to a fantastic YouTube video of Homer’s classic Uruguay joke translated into different languages.  Here it is:

Side note: notice how different the animated openings are for different languages. 

Sad shoes – This is the same quote blog I linked to a couple of weeks ago.  They missed on Grandpa warning Homer about mountaineering, and they got this one wrong too:

“Lisa’s dancing makes my shoes sad.” – Ralph Wiggum, “The Simpsons”

The actual Ralph quote is:

“Lisa’s bad dancing makes my feet sad.”


Snowball – Same site as the above, but this one they nail:

“I had a cat named Snowball … She died! She died! Mom said she was sleeping … She lied! She lied! Why oh why is my cat dead? Couldn’t that Chrysler hit me instead?” – Lisa Simpson, “The Simpsons”

I guess if you’re going to get one wrong and one right, you might as well get the one from Season 3 right instead of the one from Season 11.

The Simpsons Keyboards and Mice Make You Want to Go Doh! – Another Krusty Brand Seal of Approval here.  Meh. 

Simpsons safety reaches Australia after 5 years and at twice the price – I think I’d seen these Simpsons safety posters before, but I’m not sure.  (via Springfield Springfield’s Twitter feed)

Writers and Density – I agree with some of this, but there is one thing I must disagree vehemently with:

There’s now some 457 episodes already written, and that number will probably get about 500 when the show finally ends. Much like M.A.S.H , The Simpsons will no doubt be in reruns until the sun dies and we’re forced to strap rockets to the moon and venture out in search of new planets, but with such a sheer volume of episodes it’s hard to pick out the gold.

In actuality, it’s not the least bit hard to pick out the gold.  If it comes from a double digit season the odds are heavily against you, if it comes from a single digit season the odds are heavily in your favor.  It’s really not that complicated, although the slipshod nature of syndication does cause problems.

No. 12 Burns, C. MontgomeryForbes released its annual pageview grab of the wealthiest fictional characters.  It’s not that interesting. 

Harry Shearer Sings About Goldman Sachs, Santa Claus Bailout – Interview with Harry Shearer about his new album, complete with perfunctory question about when the show will end and equally perfunctory answer about he doesn’t know.

Ford’s Car Of The Future–By Way Of The Simpsons? – Ford has set up a website where you can request that separate, soundproof bubble dome (with optional restrains and muzzles) for the kids. 

Mid Week Mini: Frank Welker – The many voices of Frank Welker, Simpsons included.

Adapted 10/40/70 – The Simpsons, “Krusty Gets Busted” – This is a more detailed animation analysis that I like to get into.  But it does show just how much care and thought used to go into the show.  One suspects that Zombie Simpsons would flunk this kind of test miserably. 

This is how I remember the Lincoln Assassination – It’s pretty much impossible to think about John Wilkes Booth without picturing Bart’s Schwarzenegger-esque interpretation. 

How The Simpsons Interacts With Other Cartoons – Interesting post about how the show treated other animated formats.  As usual, the great majority of the non-stupid stuff comes from the early seasons. 

Top 10 Sarcastic The Simpsons Quotes – Some of these are misquoted, some of them are from Zombie Simpsons.  Bra-vo. 

Seth MacFarlane’s Dirty Teddy Bear Movie – Seth MacFarlane is making a live action movie with a computer animated teddy bear.  Here’s the part I like:

Fox’s Sunday Night plays like a block of stand-up juxtaposed with a really bad short theater piece. 3 MacFarlane shows with interchangable characters against the hollow husk of "The Simpsons," which has long been coasting by with the assumption that Rupert Murdoch won’t cancel the show that made the network.

Tee hee, “hollow husk”. 

5 Responses to “Reading Digest: Insufficient Zealotry Edition”

  1. 1 Cassidy
    16 April 2010 at 9:30 pm

    From the sarcastic quote list:

    “6. “Family, religion, friends… these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.” –Mr. Burns”

    How is that sarcasm? Burns was being completely sincere. That’s the whole point of the joke.

    • 2 Charlie Sweatpants
      17 April 2010 at 10:23 am

      And that’s not the only one. Homer’s “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand” isn’t sarcastic, and neither is the horrifically misquoted Chalmers at #7. For the record, the actual quote is, “But I am a public servant, and not permitted to use my own judgement in any way.”

  2. 17 April 2010 at 12:00 am

    “Bart’s getting another love interest (probably), the episode title has been stolen from Season 3, and we’re going to get another craptacular gay episode.”

    There’s almost something perversely admirable about the fact that no matter how many shitty episodes Zombie Simpsons has made, they can always make one that sounds even shittier than anything they’ve done before. And to actually name the episode “Flaming Moe”?? What a way to squat over and squeeze out a hot steaming loaf on one of the best episodes ever. Imagine in the future, people looking up the season 3 episode online for pictures, quotations, info, etc and getting beset by stuff from this season 22 abomination.

  3. 4 Celia
    17 April 2010 at 6:14 pm

    Smithers is considered out, then? I guess it’s the case, but I can’t help thinking this is going to be another gay episode full of cliché and stupid covertly homophobic jokes written by straight men. Mind you, I’m on a fine not-watching streak right now.

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