Archive for February, 2011


Yeah, They Copied “Family Guy”

“Look Maggie, they have a baby too.” – Homer Simpson
“It’s like they saw our lives and put it right up on screen!” – Bart Simpson

I have no real use for the perpetual “Simpsons vs. Family Guy” debate for the obvious reason that I don’t consider The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons to be the same program.  Nor do I know whether or not Family Guy was originally intended as a low cost replacement for The Simpsons.  I do know that the format of Family Guy resembles that of The Simpsons pretty closely.  I also know that Zombie Simpsons sucks for a lot of reasons and, as of this week, we can officially add aping Family Guy to the list.

Family Guy, “Love Thy Trophy” (Broadcast 14 March 2000):

Peter's Brain

Zombie Simpsons, “The Blue and the Gray” (Broadcast 13 February 2011):

Zombie Homer's Brain

It’s funny because they’re exactly the same.


Quote of the Day

Homer the Vigilante3

“Oh, sorry folks, gee I really hate to spoil this little love-in.  But Mr. Malloy broke the law, and when you break the law you gotta go to jail.” – Chief Wiggum
“Ah, that reminds me, here’s your monthly kickback.” – Mayor Quimby
“You just, you couldn’t have picked a worse time.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day

Colonel Homer4

“Hey Moe, you got any Fudd?” – Homer Simpson
“Fudd?  I thought they took that off the market after all those hillbillies went blind.” – Moe


Compare & Contrast: Self Help Charlatans

“You know, my course can help you with every personality disorder in the ‘Feel Bad Rainbow’.  Let’s look at the Rainbow, what’s in there?  Depression, Insomnia, Motor-mouth, Darting Eyes, Indecisiveness, Decisiveness, Bossiness, Uncontrollable Falling Down, Geriatric Profanity Disorder or GPD, and Chronic Nagging.” – Brad Goodman

Back when the show still had heart and soul, one of the things they liked to do was make fun of the seedier ends of American capitalism.  Sometimes this was Dr. Nick hawking his shabby inventions; sometimes it was the customer contemptuous likes of Stern Lecture Plumbing or Ex-Con Home Security.  Then one time, it was Brad Goodman, and all the bright, shiny self help scams for which he stood. 

Bart's Inner Child3

Before. . .

Goodman was the perfect embodiment of the low-rent hucksters who ply the airwaves at the most non of non-primetime television hours looking to make a buck from people Homer famously described as, “alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners”.  Though the specifics varied, each one of them had a system that was pitched at one basic concept: a richer, happier you.  Their systems usually came with scientific sounding jargon, a couple of catch phrases, and lots of numbered points (the better to seem more organized).  The main thing they all had in common was that you paid up front (for a book, a video, whatever) in the hopes that this valuable information could change your life for the better. 

Bart's Inner Child4

. . . and After.

The other thing these “impr-U-vement” scams had in common was that no one who wasn’t already desperate took them the least bit seriously.  Goodman charged peopled real money for pithy advice Lisa accurately described as “easy answers”, but if you’re enough of a sucker to pay for his advice then you’re also too much of a sucker to be able to call him on it.  That’s why The Simpsons made Goodman such an obvious conman, but still let him get away with the cash.  The people of Springfield regretted their decision almost as soon as they started practicing what he preached, but by then he was long gone. 

What makes “Bart’s Inner Child” so great is that the jokes and the scorn are heaped both on Goodman (using “important celebrities” like Martha Quinn and Troy McClure) and on the people he scammed (“We’ve made a false idol of this Brad Goodman!”).  Goodman may be a successful charlatan who got away with it, but he’s still very obviously a charlatan the show holds in utter contempt. 

Compare that rather harsh treatment to the fawningly sympathetic portrayal of the “pick up artist” conman odiously named “Dr. Kissingher”.  (Since I flat out refuse to type that name several more times, he shall henceforth be known as Pick Up Kissingher, or “Puke” for short)  With the tiny exception of having to announce his own introduction, Puke escapes from the episode completely unscathed.  He’s shown as being sympathetic and kind to his dimwitted clients, and is even given a tongue bath in the form of recurring appearances as an omniscient, floating pop-up head.  All by itself that’s a pretty big blown comedy opportunity, but the bigger failure is the credulous way the show treats Puke’s highly dubious advice. 

Do Homer or Moe suffer for following Puke’s retrograde self help canards?  Nope, quite the opposite.  Moe spends the rest of the episode with ridiculously attractive women on his arm, and Homer (though we don’t actually see why this happens) becomes the object of affection of every pretty young thing in Springfield.  Late night infomercials would be hesitant to show that kind of wild success for fear that it would be too incredible even for an audience sleep deprived into total gullibility. 

Pick Up Artist Extraordinaire

Nine women and not a fatty in the bunch!  Order now!

If you want to see what this stuff looks like in the real world, Google “pick up artist” and hold your nose, for the foul stench of scamming the clueless and the desperate will immediately waft from your browser.  This is from the first page of Google’s results

What is PUA Training "System"

The System represents the evolution of the pick-up arts, a new frontier that for the first time builds on established principles and methods and adds in the latest cutting edge techniques. Five years in the making. Drawing on the entire Pick Up Artist / PUA universe of knowledge as well as body language, psychology, and the experience of talking to thousands of beautiful women, we deliver the first complete proven system for building a better you. Only a select few will learn these powerful techniques. Those that have are already seeing huge results.

That is exactly the kind of garbage that The Simpsons so brutally attacked in Brad Goodman.  It sounds science-y (“evolution”, “cutting edge techniques”, “psychology”) and promises that a “better you” is only a few dollars away.  The sole difference is that “beautiful women” have replace “self improvement” as the glittering prize.  Not only did Zombie Simpsons decline to make fun of this blatantly misogynistic shit, it swallowed it hook, line and sinker.  Here’s the first thing Puke says from his narrator bubble:

Jumping on the grenade.  The wingman engages the less attractive friend, isolating the target.

And here’s the “PUA Dictionary” (this is also from the first page of the Google results):

For instance, if I see a less than attractive woman, I would never want to hurt her feelings, so in a very low voice I might tell my wingman she is a UG (Ugly Girl).

It almost couldn’t get any lazier.  Zombie Simpsons has given up on satirizing society’s foibles in favor of copying and pasting them. 

On The Simpsons, was the Juice Loosener really whisper quiet?  Did Homer get rich thanks to that guy with the trapezoid scheme?  Did everyone in Springfield live happily ever after once they knew how to use the Feel Bad Rainbow?  Of course not!  But in Zombie Simpsons, did Homer and Moe start scoring babes left and right once they knew Puke’s secrets?  And how!  To make things even worse, Zombie Simpsons bought into the skin crawlingly awful and boldly stupid bullshit of the “pick up artist” scammers.  The whole thing is disgracefully dumb and blatantly anti-woman, on a show that didn’t used to be either. 


Quote of the Day

Life In Hell

Image taken from Wikimedia Commons.

“Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts.” – Troy McClure

Happy birthday Matt Groening! 


Going Gray

Chalkboard - The Blue and the Gray

“I guess I expected something different from your photo.” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Don’t let my age fool you.  Just ’cause there’s a little snow on the roof . . . I forget how the rest of that goes.” – Jasper

Intentionally or not, there is an interesting undercurrent to “The Blue and the Gray”, Zombie Simpsons’ latest affront to quality television.  Confronted with the unpleasant fact that she’s not quite what she used to be, Marge flips out and returns to the comforting fiction that cosmetic similarities mean she’s just the same as she always was.  Remind you of anything’s writing staff? 

That’s not the world’s closest comparison.  A person’s hair color is largely irrelevant to who they are, whereas the writing of a television show is vitally important to how good it is.  But I do enjoy the idea that Zombie Simpsons can’t handle the truth about itself, and chooses to wallow in toxic, self deceiving hair dye instead. 

Anyway, in between rickety side plots with Moe and Bart, the episode is ostensibly about Marge trying to come to terms with the harsh reality that letting her natural hair color show will change the way other people react to her.  Somewhere there’s probably a decent story to be told about that, one that provides plenty of opportunities for satire and comedy about double standards, about the impossible quest to remain young, about beauty lies we’ve all agreed upon.  This was not that story, nor did it contain any of that comedy.  That might have required some thought. 

The numbers are in, and they are terrible.  Last night’s noxious goo was rinsed from the scalps of a mere 5.62 million people.  That’s a new low for Season 22, as well as the fourth lowest rating of all time.  To put it another way, “The Blue and the Gray” is the 477th episode of the show, and 473 of those episodes were viewed by more people. 


Quote of the Day

Principal Charming4

“Remember you promised you’d try to limit pork to six servings a week?” – Marge Simpson
“Marge, I’m only human!” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Principal Charming”!  Original airdate 14 February 1991.


Quote of the Day

Bart the Genius4

“Here, let me show you how to put on a tie.  The hook goes over the top, and these things go in there.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Ill Sized Triceratops

Image shamelessly yoinked from here.

“Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed councilmen, boys and girls, retired people with nothing better to do, danger comes in many, many forms, from the dinosaurs that tormented our caveman ancestors . . .” – Homer Simpson


Reading Digest: WordPress Meta Edition

The Joy of Sect6

“A new and better life awaits you on our distant home plant Blisstonia.” – Movementarian 

Speaking as someone with experience in setting up and maintaining websites, perhaps the greatest compliment I can give to WordPress is that I almost never notice it.  For a cost of precisely zero dollars, they provide professional grade web publishing tools that allow me, the crank with a few things on his mind, to spout my gibberish without worrying that the amateurishness of the presentation will detract from the amateurishness of the content.  It’s really a fantastic system, and the “rah-rah, yay! blogging” attitude of their official pronouncements never crosses the line from enthusiastic to cloying. 

Along those lines, at the dawn of 2011 they started a campaign to get people to blog more, part of which is based around the idea of posting once a day no matter what.  The result of that is several links this week to other WordPress blogs that ruminate on posting, writing and watching the Simpsons.  We’ve also got the usual assortment of excellent usage and random Simpsons stuff, including a new Lisa themed Tumblr site, plenty of YouTube, and board games. 


Intertextuality and the Study of Texts – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this academic discussion of one of the Tracey Ullman shorts. 

The 10 funniest fictional drugs from TV and movies – Flintstones Chewable Morphine is on here.

Brad Bird Claims To Be Much Happier Doing Live Action Movies – I love me some Brad Bird, but this seems like a stretch:

Brad Bird has already left a substantial mark on the film world (his departure from The Simpsons led to the show’s downfall, but that’s a whole other thing entirely).

Talk up live action all you want, I bet his license plate reads A1134EV. 

A Tree in the Forest – A rather long post about writing and the nature of . . . well, here:

Most people would like something they made, either written, painted, filmed, et cetera, to be viewed, read, and have some sort of feedback or give someone some catharsis. Yet this is seldom happens… brings me back to the tree in the forest. I know it’s not cliché, it’s a zen parable that was on The Simpsons. If creating art is the tree, than when it falls, the creator has the pleasure/satisfaction/transcendence of the moment of creation, yet it exists in a vacuum. Only to one person is there a noise.

This is a little all over the place.

I am clapping with one hand. 

Should I be posting more often? – That’s up to you.  But you can’t go wrong with this:

I will probably open my evening with “Old World Underground, Where Are You Now?” because Emily Haines was who. I. wanted. to. be. freshman year of college. And proceed to watch several episodes of The Simpsons.

When it doubt, watch The Simpsons

I put on makeup today because I was so bored – See the previous link:

Hopefully it equals an hour or so because instead of reading yesterday or today, I did things like watch The Simpsons and eat chocolate-covered pretzels.

Kev’s Life For Sale – Framed Simpsons posters will always have resale value (scroll to the bottom for the picture).  Also, nice Lebowski reference. 

Lisa Simpson Gets Book Club on Tumblr – There’s some unavoidable Zombie Simpsons, but except for the fact that Lisa says “New Republic for Kids” not “The New Republic for Kids”, this is excellent usage:

Here is a particularly funny quote from the show: “Well, I think we should invest in a set of The Great Books Of Western Civilization. Look at this ad from The New Republic For Kids: Each month, a new classic will be delivered to our door. Paradise Regained, Martin Cheselwitt or Herman Melville’s twin-classics Omoo and Typee.”

Tumblr link goes here

Sneak Peak:The Simpsons Meet Halle Berry – Zombie Simpsons sketched up Halle Berry for an Academy Award episode.  I submit this as further evidence of what I was talking about yesterday

Monorail! – YouTube of exactly what you think it is.  That song never gets old. 

Report Smokes Out Tobacco Use on TV Shows Popular Among Kids – This is beyond stupid, but it does give me a chance to link back to this, which remains applicable. 

Where half-assed knowledge is further diluted into nothingness… – Excellent image usage, and check out the first and third comments. 

Krustyland! – A neat bunch of photos from the Simpsons ride at Universal Studios.  That rack of Homer slippers is going to replace the whale in my nightmares. 

Don’t get bored, get BOARD games! – They made a Simpsons version of Clue?  Of course they did.  This post also contains two other fantastic things: cheap used stuff and Bill Nye. 

Day 56 – February 3rd, 2011 – I’ve never played that Simpsons game, but you can never get enough Ham Ahoy. 

Go Banana! (and Seahawks) – There was an ad during the Super Bowl where the NFL edited a bunch of clips from old and current teevee shows so that all our favorite characters were wearing officially license apparel.  This link has the video, as well as a still of the Simpsons part, and this excellent observation in the comments:

Maude Flanders loves the Bucs so much that she came back from the dead to cheer for them.

Gym class was never really my thing – An animated .gif (from our friends at Eye On Springfield) of Lisa’s very athletic ability to dribble a basketball with her face.

Homer’s Night Out – Animated .gif of Homer’s night out.  Also, nice WordPress theme. 

Ruthless aliens probe Shepherd’s Pie – An excellent use of Kang and Kodos dolls. 

New Promotional Image Released for Season 22 – Our friends over at Everything Simpsons have a promo image for Sunday’s upcoming clusterfuck.  I think the Kwik-E-Mart ran out of Blue Dye #52.

Snowmageddon was a bust – Shotgun full of snow YouTube. 

The Simpsons – Hand In Toaster – More YouTube?  More YouTube. 

Thomas Edison…In 10 words – Now let’s all visit Edison’s boyhood gift shop. 

Fischer’s Friday Five – And finally, I get to end the way I like to, with someone who agrees with us:

The Gay Steel Mill

Classic Simpsons episode where Homer worries that Bart is gay so he takes him to a steel mill to show him what real men are like.  Amazing how great The Simpsons used to be before Family Guy came around.  Watch the video and enjoy!

Work hard, play hard.


Quote of the Day

Homer Defined2

“Well, Marge, the other day Milhouse told me my meatloaf ‘sucks’.  He must’ve gotten that from your little boy, because they certainly don’t say that word on TV.” – Luann van Houten


That Is So 1991

“Please alter my pants as fashion dictates.” – Jasper (as read by Homer Simpson)

Last month, when I was taking all those frame grabs of the seated Cerberus that was the three housewives from “Moms I’d Like to Forget”, I was struck by how modern and colorful their outfits were compared to Marge’s.  The next week I noticed something similar in “Flaming Moe”.  Characters who’ve been around a long time, like Smithers and Patty, look really out of place next to the one-and-done guests.  The more I thought about it, the more it occurred to me that this happens in almost every episode.  They come up with some one off character or just have a celebrity on, and s/he looks wildly different than the long time characters in the same shot. 

This is another example of how you can’t keep the show from aging, even if you nominally keep the characters from aging.  Characters that were originally designed to catch the eye in low definition at a time when televisions were a lot smaller don’t scale up well to HD resolutions.  The basic character models (Marge’s green dress, Homer’s white shirt, etcetera) are big on solid colors and low on minute detail.  But new characters, who are supposed to be twenty-first century Americans, can’t be drawn the way the Simpsons are, it would look terrible.  Instead they animate new characters as realistically as possible and just ignore the clashing styles. 

Patty's Out of Style

Look at Patty’s clothes compared to the gay dudes.  Her dress is flat and monochromatic, their clothes are colorful and detailed.  Look at the shoulders, buttons and belt of the guy in white.  Look at the knotted sweatshirt; look at the precise lines of the pockets on the green pants.  The three of them are massively more detailed than she is. 


Here we can see the same thing with Marge and the Anitas.  They gave Marge as many different dresses as they could (examples), but when they use her standard outfit they’re stuck with these radically clashing styles.  The clothing is obvious enough, but it extends even to the accessories.  Two of the Anitas are wearing necklaces that look kind of like the necklaces real women wear everyday.  Next to those, Marge’s necklace is painfully cartoony.  There’s nothing wrong with cartoony in and of itself, but it looks more than a little out of place next to the more realistic drawings.

This sort of thing happens all the time on Zombie Simpsons, and it’s only gotten worse since the changeover to HD.  Unfortunately for us, there’s nothing they can do about it even if they wanted to.  The audience accepts Marge in that uniform green dress, but if you drew other characters with the same simplicity it would look childishly primitive.  And it’s not like they can change the way the main characters look, doing so would risk a New Coke level disaster. 

They compensate by putting old characters in different clothes far more often than they did back in the before time, in the long long ago.  Just this season we’ve seen Homer wear a sweater for most of an episode as well as go undercover for the bulk of another.  Lisa’s spent significant time in school and baseball uniforms.  But those sorts of temporary dodges can’t change the basic character models.  They’re stuck with the fact that the default costumes for all of the main characters, and most of the secondary ones, aren’t designed for modern animation, and clash badly with newer characters that are. 


Quote of the Day

Lemon of Troy3

“Like Stonehenge, this site will forever be a mystery.  Who was Bart?  And how did he manage to write his name in solid cement?” – Future Tour Guide
“He must have been much smarter than his sister Lisa, about whom we know nothing.” – Future Guy


Wikipedia Thinks Zombie Simpsons Is Dull

The vast quality difference between The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons shows itself in a lot of ways.  There are direct things, like Zombie Simpsons ever declining ratings, and there are indirect things like the embarrassingly bad IMDB numbers.  In that latter category we can now safely add Wikipedia. 

Wikipedia has individual articles for each season of the show.  Those articles were assembled and edited by hundreds of individual users over many years.  One person’s bias for or against Zombie Simpsons isn’t reflected, rather these articles are a measurement of what Wikipedia thinks deserves attention, and a quick look at their relative word counts shows that Zombie Simpsons just isn’t worth the time and trouble that The Simpsons is. 


Wikipedia Article Word Count

 1 2,583
 2 4,425
 3 4,539
 4 4,707
 5 5,106
 6 5,101
 7 5,857
 8 4,227
 9 5,804
 10 6,107
 11 3,774
 12 2,517
 13 3,632
 14 4,854
 15 1,648
 16 2,622
 17 3,252
 18 2,560
 19 3,247
 20 3,960
 21 4,409

For the record, the average word count from Seasons 1-10 is 4,748, and the average from Seasons 11+ is 3,315.  Of Zombie Simpsons seasons, only Season 14 has a word count that’s above the average for Seasons 1-10.  Please also note that those numbers include Season 1, which has only half the usual number of episodes and therefore has a much shorter episode summary section, but do not include the still incomplete Season 22. 

I’ll grant that doing Wikipedia word counts is a silly and reductive, but at the same time it’s too consistent to be random.  You can click on the edit history of each of these articles, the ones about The Simpsons and the ones about Zombie Simpsons, and see that all of them are updated fairly frequently.  None of these articles are stale or ignored, and yet people’s interest clearly plummets after about Season 10 or so.  There’s no real mystery as to why.  Zombie Simpsons just isn’t as interesting, and the numbers bear that out. 


Quote of the Day

Lisa's Date with Density3

“Well, looks like we put the kibosh on another two bit telephone swindle, boys.  Frankly, I would’ve expected better from Jimmy the Scumbag.” – Chief Wiggum


Quote of the Day


Image shamelessly stolen from here.

“Oh Abraham, calm down, I’m not here to scare you.  They’ve got me haunting a family in Texas.” – Ghost of Beatrice Simmons

Audrey Meadows, who was the voice of Bea and played Alice on The Honeymooners, would’ve been 85 today.  Happy birthday! 


Quote of the Day

Homer vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment4

“Wait a minute, Troy, I’m a little confused.  Did you say ‘Cleans and straightens’?” – Tina
“There’s no confusion, Tina, just good science.” – Troy McClure

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Homer vs. Lisa and the Eighth Commandment”!  Original airdate: 7 February 1991.


Quote of the Day


Mad Jon’s photo.

“You see, Lisa, your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it’s okay in the Bible.” – Homer Simpson
“Really, where?” – Lisa Simpson
“Ahh, somewhere in the back.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Radio Bart7

“The time has come for finger pointing, and most of them are squarely aimed at the boy’s parents.” – Kent Brockman
“It’s not our fault, we didn’t want the boy, he was an accident.” – Homer Simpson


Reading Digest: Mendoza! Edition

Saturdays of Thunder6

“Mendoza!” – McBain

If you’re reading this site, then you have probably already seen the fantastic College Humor mashup of all the McBain clips.  I would like to point out two things about it.  First, between Tango & Cash, Lethal Weapon 2, and License to Kill, 1989 was the year of the suave, well protected drug lord and the heroes who break the rules to bring them down.  Second, none of those clips are from Zombie Simpsons.  And don’t give me any of that “Schwarzenegger stopped making movies to be the governor” crap.  He didn’t stop making movies until Season 15, well into Zombie Simpsons.  We’ve also got some great fan art, some excellent usage, a Simpsons story told entirely through Facebook updates, The New York Times trolling Wikipedia with a truly stupid Simpsons reference, and a couple of people vowing to write more on their blogs (good luck!). 


Crazy Art by: Enkel Dika – Smooth Charlie’s Click of the Week is this set of sweet pop culture paintings, especially the one of Homer and Marge as Frankenstein’s Monster and Bride of Frankenstein.  I love the way the steam from the power plant bleeds into Homer-stein’s shirt. 

**QUIRKY MUST SEE HOMER SIMPSON MUG** – Live in New Zealand?  You can get this awesome fan made Homer mug for twelve dollars.  The way the mouth recesses into the mug is really cool.  

McBain: the Movie – I put this up on Twitter on Wednesday, but it deserves its own link because it’s been all over the place since.  If you take all of the McBain clips the show ever did and patch them together, you can make a pretty decent short film (via Springfield Springfield’s Twitter feed). 

Mauve his mop and other mashed up movies – This is a link to the McBain movie above, but it’s also got a sweet McBain poster and some other movie mashup videos. 

GOOD GRAFFITI – SKARY – Excellent Simpsons related graffiti, I like Gil and Jimbo the best.

Donut – I found this on Banksy’s site yesterday when I was writing that post about Murdoch.  That is a police escort Homer would stand up and salute. 

It’s funny because it’s true! Plus some thoughts on mortification practices outside of graduate school. – Tisk tisk, only moderate usage in a jokey but interesting post about how much better Ph.D.s are than the rest of us.  In “Lisa vs. the Eighth Commandment”, Homer says “It’s funny cause it’s true”, and in “Bart the Murderer” Fat Tony articulates the “because”, but to my knowledge Homer never actually says “It’s funny because it’s true”.  Philosophiae doctoris indeed, cite your sources! 

A good sit: Not so good for the heart – Excellent usage:

Once, on “The Simpsons,’’ Homer and his boss, Montgomery Burns, were trapped by an avalanche in a mountain lodge. Burns expounded on the virtues of a favorite human pastime. “Oh, yes, sitting — the great leveler,’’ he said. “From the mightiest pharaoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn’t enjoy a good sit?’’

Burns may have been right that sitting is enjoyable, but a growing pile of scientific evidence is suggesting that too much could be deadly.

No, I will not get off my ass.

I Need Music To Think – Animated .gif of “You know Lisa, music helps Daddy think.”

Aled’s Make Something 365 – Making even 8-bit games more realistic.  Both the Mario one and the Simpsons/Paperboy one are great. 

Alfred Pennyworth vs. Waylon Smithers – Comparing two intensely devoted men. 

I’ll do it this afternoooooon! – Now this is how you launch a blog, with procrastination. 

i SAID ha-ha – A little “Bart of Darkness” YouTube. 

Hoy Hoy – A short Simpsons story crafted by Facebook artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Facebook. 

Scully saw benefits in benefits – If there’s one thing I don’t mind about Zombie Simpsons, and there may indeed only be one, it’s that a lot of people who worked on the show when it was good were making peanuts at the time and now many of them are actually getting paid.  They didn’t even have health insurance for the writers until sometime after Season 9?  Cheap bastards. 

Chowdafest ’11: Chefs vie for chowder bragging rights in Westport – I think you know where this is going:

I should probably be embarrassed to admit this, but whenever I see chowder on a menu, I feel inclined to repeat the scene from "The Simpsons" where a French waiter places a bowl in front of Freddy Quimby.

"Hey, what the hell is this?" asks the Boston-accented Freddy.

"It’s a bowl of show-dair, sir," says the waiter.

"What did you call it?" asks Freddy. "Show-dair? It’s chowda! Say it right! Say it Frenchy! Say chowda!"

There are more than a few omitted lines there, but a transcription of them all would’ve taken up most of the article and all of those lines are in the episode so I’m still calling this excellent usage.  And no, there’s no reason to be embarrassed to admit that. 

Your say: readers rant on TV – That’s a bloody outrage, it is:

We’ll take Bart, any day

MY TWO young kids used to eat their tea watching The Simpsons at 6pm. So what has Channel 10 done? Put on another current affairs show with over-the-hill George Negus. How much dribble do you think viewers can take? Geoff, email

I’m gonna take this all the way to the Prime Minister.  Julia! 

Define Gender Gap? Look Up Wikipedia’s Contributor List – You can file this under “it’s not news until the Times notices it” since this is something that’s been known for a while but only received a shower of links and attention in the wake of a New York Times story with this little bit of blogger bait:

Is a category with five Mexican feminist writers impressive, or embarrassing when compared with the 45 articles on characters in “The Simpsons”?

It’s neither.  You just made a classic apples to oranges, lemons to lemon shaped rocks comparison. 

Infrequent Short Stories – There should be a “you” before “failed”, but other than that this is spot on.  The lesson remains excellent usage, however. 

5 Current TV Shows That Have Degraded Since It Began – And finally, I get to end the way I like to, with someone who agrees with us:

The two biggest factors here are the age of the show and the overturn of writers from the beginning to now. Conan O’Brian used to be a writer for goodness sakes.

Simply put, the writing isn’t nearly as funny as it used to be. Most of the jokes or the gags are old and tired and coming up with new material for a show that’s had 500 episodes isn’t easy.


My guess is that it will take one of the main voice actors to leave before this gets cancelled, but it’s probably long overdue. It’s really just become that lead in show for FOX’s Sunday night animated block.

Got that right.  Interestingly enough, Simpsons was only #2 on the list.  You’ll never guess what’s #1. 


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Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.