Archive for February, 2011


Crazy Noises: Angry Dad: The Movie

Hurricane Neddy5

“Yes, Mr. Sherman, everything stinks.” – Calmwood Mental Hospital Doctor

In our ongoing mission to bring you only the shallowest and laziest analysis of Zombie Simpsons, we’re keeping up our Crazy Noises series for Season 22.  Since a podcast is so 2004, and video would require a flag, a fern and some folding chairs from the garage, we’ve elected to use the technology that brought the word “emoticon” to the masses: the chatroom.  Star Trek image macros are strictly forbidden, unless you have a really good reason why Captain Picard is better than Captain Kirk.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “jowl”).

Among the shorter of the many long (long, long) skits during “Angry Dad: The Movie”, Zombie Simpsons had Homer stick a deck of playing cards (he happened to be carrying) down the back of his pants and shuffle them with his ass. The cards eventually emerge (unstained) fanned out from his waistline. Then they make a big show of him opening a bottle with his butt. That last concept is so inventive that I was only able to find three videos of people doing the same thing after one search on YouTube (plus a deer). But the butt-shuffling sent my mind instantly to the episode of The Critic where Marty’s in the talent show. Skip to the 4:25 mark here, and listen to Jay Sherman, in response to his son smoking a pipe with his belly button, say:

“You know, my butt can deal blackjack, but this is Marty’s night.”

The Critic was a show that never got the chance it deserved, and since it was funny as hell it makes sense that Jean and company would raid it for material, but inherently goofy things like this work much better when alluded to rather than spelled out.

Charlie Sweatpants: Ready to get this over with?

Mad Jon: Yep

Charlie Sweatpants: I am not at a complete loss for words about this episode, but the only three that come to mind are "what", "the", and "fuck".

Mad Jon: Yeah, once again it was quite the effort to watch. I turned it on right when I got home from work, and I still feel exhausted.

Charlie Sweatpants: There were so many things that were a minute or longer when they could’ve been two seconds.

  The Ricky Gervais thing might not have even been worth two seconds.

Mad Jon: I know the idea was to piggy back on the "Angry Dad" episode all those season ago, but I really felt it had to be thought of in the light of "The Front". A goal that was exponentially more difficult.

  I can’t figure out why Gervais is in everything. I really don’t find him funny.

  Also I am not British.

Charlie Sweatpants: I don’t have anything against him, I’ve seen him be pretty funny, but this was a trainwreck.

Mad Jon: It took me a few minutes of the tip scene to even figure out who he was. It really didn’t look anything like him.

Charlie Sweatpants: I swear I could almost see him turn to the camera and say "That’s it. That’s the joke."

Mad Jon: Ha ha, yeah that’s about right.

Charlie Sweatpants: Then I can yell "You suck, McBain!" and all would be well.

Mad Jon: Did you notice how long the guest voice credit roll went? I was only aware that there were like 2 or 3. Boy, was I wrong.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, it was like six deep.

  And everyone got to do the same thing: voice themselves and pretend to make fun of themselves.

Remember when this show loathed the rest of the entertainment industry? Good times.

Mad Jon: Yes, once again it was their turn to ride the bike.

  Yes, Yes I remember, back when travel was done on Blimps and Taco Bell used meat.

Charlie Sweatpants: There were the Pixar parts, and the Wallace & Gromit part, and the Triplets of Belleville part . . . these aren’t parodies, they’re more like love letters that lack even a hint of originality.

  Dear Pixar, we love you, signed Zombie Simpsons.

Mad Jon: Also the clips went on for fucking ever.

Charlie Sweatpants: Oh, I know.

Mad Jon: The clips from "The Front" look so much better in comparison than they already are.

  "Clip not done yet"

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, they used to actually create stuff. Now it really is like those "Epic Movie" pieces of crap where they photocopy something and expect me to slap my fins together for understanding the reference.

Mad Jon: Well, the references were topical. -ish.

Charlie Sweatpants: I’m sure they were very proud of themselves for that little photo of Gervais that said not to allow him to host.

  I didn’t even watch the Golden Globes and I got that one. Savvy.

Mad Jon: Oh yeah, I probably should have picked up on that while I was struggling to figure out who he was.

  I also didn’t watch the Golden Globes.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, we kinda just did. There are few things ugly in deeper ways than when big budget entertainment pretends to satirize itself for its foibles.

  While we’re on the topic of things that went on way too long, how about that Itchy & Scratchy thing?

Or Bart’s ride around the house?

  Or the awards receiving montage.

Mad Jon: Yeah I was hoping you’d bring that up. There wasn’t one last week right? That’s good, this weeks was bad enough for both.

Charlie Sweatpants: Someone on the staff has a lot of kung fu movies with five star ratings on Netflix.

Mad Jon: I remember a few weeks ago I tried to defend a few of the new I&S. Man I look even stupider than that time I burned my eyebrow off with a flaming shot of Yukon Jack.

Charlie Sweatpants: That was pretty bad, but this is worse.

Mad Jon: Why does everything have to take soooo long?

Charlie Sweatpants: The training montage alone was longer than many classic I&S skits.

Mad Jon: probably twofold as long.

Also, how many more episodes this season do you think will have a Banksy reference?

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, they like him. He did more for them publicity wise than anyone else recently. And that’s despite episodes like this one where they cram in guest stars cheek by jowl.

Mad Jon: Soon enough they will run out of A-listers to throw 3 or 4 in each week.

Charlie Sweatpants: There are always new celebrities.

Mad Jon: Yeah, but this seems like a locust swarm to me as of late.

Charlie Sweatpants: There does seem to have been an inordinate number of episodes with two or more guest voices this season.

Mad Jon: Like most Zombie recurrences, it kills a bit of time and can be crammed in pretty much anywhere.

Charlie Sweatpants: Very true. This one displayed an unusual level of apathy towards storytelling, even by their standards. The Pixar guys don’t get defeated, the chair guy vanishes halfway through the episode, Lisa’s at the table read with Bart for some reason. They really can’t be bothered.

It’s impressive in a way, like when a three year old tells a story and begins every sentence with "And".

Mad Jon: Yes sir. The difference being that I would applaud a three year old for being excited to tell me a story.

I really did forget about the Aero chair guy until you just mentioned him.

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s exactly my point. He vanishes like a puff of smoke halfway through.

Mad Jon: It’s a good point.

Charlie Sweatpants: Anything else here? Normally I ask if there’s anything good, but I can’t think of a single decent thing that I saw that wasn’t immediately ruined by going on ten times longer than it should. Homer’s Taco Day line at the power plant comes to mind.

Mad Jon: Yeah, it turns out he still has a job after all.

  I really can’t think of anything else good, or really bad that we haven’t mentioned.

The only time I smiled was when Lisa mentioned that she saw all the Pixar movies and slipped in "except for Cars".

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, that was at least decent.

  And true. Cars sucked.

Mad Jon: Notice how the decent things in the last few years are always two seconds long.

  But that’s all I got. Like I said, I had to struggle even more than usual to pay attention.

Charlie Sweatpants: This was less of an episode and more a series of YouTube ready videos that someone, someday will figure out how to – excuse me I have to use a bad word here – "monetize" on Hulu.

Mad Jon: Think about the future.


Quote of the Day

Grade School Confidential3

“Bart, if life has taught me one lesson repeatedly, it’s to know when I’m beaten.” – Principal Skinner


Twitter Has No Use for Zombie Simpsons

Somehow word got around Twitter yesterday that it was Bart’s birthday.  Since we only follow like ten people and only half of them ever tweet anything I have no idea how this happened.  However, Daily Simpsons got in on the trend and asked their teeming horde of over nine thousand followers to tweet their favorite Bart quotes.  The results are below in picture form (remember, it’s Twitter so the newest messages are at the top):

Twitter Doesn't Like Zombie Simpsons

There are two quotes on there from Season 11, and nothing past that.  Not one.  Now, this isn’t exactly scientific, but it is overwhelming.  Twitter, or at least the nine thousand people who follow one of the most popular Simpsons centered Twitter accounts, don’t have any use for Zombie Simpsons. 

[Note: Crazy Noises and Compare & Contrast should be on the way tomorrow, been a busy week.]


Quote of the Day

Mother Simpson4

“Excuse me, sir, I think there’s been a mistake.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh no, no mistake.  Your electricity’s in the name of Homer J. Simpson, deceased.  The juice stays off ’til you get a job or a generator . . . oh and, uh, my deepest sympathies.” – Sympathetic Utility Guy


Quote of the Day

Lady Bouvier's Lover5

“Homey, you know it’s funny, both my mother and your father seem pretty lonely.” – Marge Simpson
“Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, that is funny.” – Homer Simpson


Knowing Your Audience

Chalkboard - Angry Dad The Movie

“Thank god we’re back in Hollywood, where people treat each other right.” – Movie Guy

No sooner do I make fun of Zombie Simpsons for its relentless Hollywood navel gazing than they spend an entire episode navel gazing in Hollywood.  Starting with that interminable Itchy & Scratchy thing and running through awards ceremony cliches and a stunning number of glacially slow short films, this thing was one long exercise in entertainment industry self congratulations.  (I’m sure these sorts of things will get people at L.A. area cocktail parties to praise them, but for the rest of us it’s a little less fun.)  In between all that we were treated to some truly bizarre set pieces that had nothing to do with anything.  Was Lisa hallucinating when the Pixar lamp attacked her?  Was that the theme music for Jurassic Park and, if so, why?  What ever happened to the chair guy? 

This episode was like watching one of Michael Bay’s more impatient films.  Characters and storylines appear and disappear at random, most scenes have nothing to do with the ones before or after them, and all the pyrotechnics can’t conceal how poorly constructed the whole thing is.  You’ve got twenty minutes to fill, you shouldn’t be worried that people are going to click to a different browser tab every ninety seconds.  These are not YouTube videos or, at least, they’re not supposed to be. 

Anyway, the numbers are in and while they’re up from last week they’re still bad.  Last night’s unintentional warning about the dangers of attention deficit disorder was left on by 6.35 million people while they clicked around Twitter and Facebook.  That’s the second lowest number all season, though it’s going to need to get worse if Season 22 is going to take Season 20’s crown for least watched.


Quote of the Day

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou6

“His life was an unbridled success, until he found out he was a Simpson.” – Lisa Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?”!  Original airdate 21 February 1991.


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