Archive for March, 2011


Quote of the Day

Old Money3

“Here’s the deal, Grampa, a guy I think was an explorer left this in the bar one night.  It may be a map to ancient treasure, or directions to some guy’s house, but to find out we’ll need money, we’ll need provisions, and a two man diving bell.” – Moe
“It’s pretty stupid, but so far you’re the front runner.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Old Money”!  Original airdate 28 March 1991.

[Edited to fix incorrect punctuation.]


Sunday Preview: “Love Is A Many Strangled Thing”


Dave’s on the road today, but he took the time to improve the promotional image for tonight’s disgrace.  Courtesy of Simpsons Channel, the wretchedly auto-erotic company line:

When Homer inadvertently humiliates Bart in front of a stadium crowd, Marge encourages Homer to enroll in a fathering enrichment class taught by therapist Dr. Zander (guest voice Paul Rudd). Shocked to learn that Homer often strangles Bart for mischievous behavior, Dr. Zander conducts a series of treatments with the help of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (guest-voicing as himself) to teach Homer what it feels like to be young and small.

“But when Bart learns that the therapy sessions have transformed Homer into a pushover, he takes advantage of Homer and becomes a school bully. Hoping therapy could also cure Bart of his bullying habits, Marge enlists Dr. Zander’s help to patch their relationship.”

That is an awful lot of words to convey the same impression made by a single one: crappy.  I suggest we all agree to remember non-basketball Kareem Abdul-Jabbar for his contribution to Airplane!:


Quote of the Day

Homer the Heretic6

“Thou hast forsaken my church!” – God
“Well, kind of, but-” – Homer Simpson
“But what?” – God
“I’m not a bad guy, I work hard, and I love my kids.  So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?” – Homer Simpson
“Hmm, you’ve got a point there.” – God

Happy birthday George Meyer!


Ned Flanders: Party Guy

“That was Edna Krabappel.  You only get one chance with Edna Krabappel.” – Sideshow Bob

Via comes an interview with Marcia Wallace.  She talks about her career, how she got started and, naturally, Mrs. Krabappel.  It’s a neat little read, but there’s also this nauseating bit about an upcoming episode of Zombie Simpsons:

Carol had better luck than poor Edna, she is looking for love in all the wrong places. I just did an episode last week where I have a romance with Ned Flanders. And there is going to be an online poll to ask America whether they should get together.

The only question I have is whether or not this is going to be more teeth grindingly painful to watch than the time they awkwardly shoved Marge and Ned together.  Since Zombie Simpsons is nothing if not adept at disappointing its audience, I’ll withhold judgment until I’ve seen it.  The online poll is a nice touch, albeit one that reeks of desperation to still be relevant. 

As much as we loathe Zombie Simpsons around here, we do love Marcia Wallace.  The interview is to promote an appearance by her and some other actors in Chicago this weekend (today and tomorrow).  It’s mostly people like her, recognizable actors who never become big stars.  The guy who played Phil Leotardo on The Sopranos and told Joe Pesci to get his shine box in Goodfellas will be there, as will Cindy Morgan of Caddyshack and TRON fame.  So if you’re in Chicago and don’t have plans for the weekend, you could do worse. 


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Files3

“Hello, I’m Leonard Nimoy.  The following tale of alien encounters is true, and by true I mean false.  It’s all lies, but they’re entertaining lies, and in the end, isn’t that the real truth?  The answer is no.” – Leonard Nimoy

Happy birthday Leonard Nimoy!


Reading Digest: Coincident Birthdays Edition

The Springfield Files4

“I can’t believe it, I’m being mocked, by my own children, on my birthday.” – Homer Simpson
“It’s your birthday?” – Bart Simpson
“Yes, remember?  It’s the same day as the dog’s.” – Homer Simpson
“Santa’s Little Helper, it’s your birthday?  We gotta get you a present, yes we do, yes we do.” – Lisa Simpson
“We love you, boy.” – Bart Simpson
“Good doggie, good doggie.” – Marge Simpson
“Lousy loveable dog.” – Homer Simpson

Our friend Steve at “In 10 Words” put up a post to celebrate his 24th birthday on Wednesday . . . the same day long time Simpsons animator David Silverman tweeted this:

Silverman Tweets the Birth of The Simpsons

Assuming Steve isn’t making this up, that’s damn cool.  I wish I was born on the same day as the Simpsons.  In addition to that, we’ve got some Elizabeth Taylor related YouTube, a couple of fan made drawings, a real life sun blocking machine, another new Simpsons Tumblr, and an epic video about the comedy influence of many things, including The Simpsons


“The Simpsons” Celebrate an Anniversary Today – Smooth Charlie’s Links of the Week are these images from David Silverman of some of the very earliest Simpsons drawings.  Here’s Bart belching, Bart and Lisa sitting on an invisible couch (from the second week of production), and Maggie sticking a fork into an electrical outlet.  Silverman thinks that last one may have only aired once.  Given how paranoid television can be about giving kids bad ideas, I’m amazed it even did that. 

The 55 Best ‘Simpsons’ Headlines – Via everyone on Twitter, Funny or Die posted a list of newspaper headlines from the show last weekend.  It’s content farming link bait at its finest, most of the images were just grabbed from Simpson Crazy, but it’s worth a chuckle or two.  There’s more Zombie Simpsons here than normal, but it’s still heavily tilted towards when the show was itself. 

Remembering Elizabeth Taylor as Maggie Simpson – For the reason explained here I’ve never been clear on whether or not that really is Taylor’s voice at the end of “Lisa’s First Word”, but this has YouTube of it. 

homie brown. – Fan made drawing of Homer as Charlie Brown, or Charlie Brown as Homer.  I’m not really sure. 

Lisa Simpson Hat – Even if you don’t have a toddler in your life or live in Britain (where this was made), click on this.  That is excellent, and I kinda want one. 

My 24th Birthday…In 10 Words – Happy birthday, Steve.  Do you really have a stamp collection?

#1 The Simpsons vs. #4 The Family Guy – Lots of good Simpsons love here. 

‘Simpsons’ Vs. ‘Family Guy’: Who Stole Which Jokes? – Speaking of comparisons, here’s a list of some jokes Family Guy stole from The Simpsons and Zombie Simpsons, and some jokes Zombie Simpsons stole from Family Guy (via @springfieldx2). 

DYMO Plug and play Label maker: To label me isn’t to negate me – This is a review of an office supply product and it is yet more evidence that once something has been on The Simpsons, it will never be the same:

If, like most people of my generation, you use the first ten seasons of the Simpsons as a reference guide for life, you will hear the phrase “label maker” and instantly think of the Radio Bart episode in season three, where Bart is given a label maker as an awful gift and, in a fit of boredom ends up pretending to trapped down a well.

Before we got this I was always finding Mad Jon’s stubble in my leg razor. 

From the Yellow Kid to Zippy, The Comics Salutes Historic Strips – The Bart Simpson of the 1890s?  Meh.

PERSONALIZED BART SIMPSON TOWEL – Get your kid’s name embroidered on a Bart towel from Australia.  They really should’ve used “Bort” instead of “Brock” for the example though.

TOOT TOOT! I have a list of my favourite pop culture road trips and I’m not afraid to use it – Young man acquires driver’s license, writes blog post to celebrate, includes this:

This is Bart’s episode through and through. My favourite moment (off-topic alert) is when Bart reads the title of a pamphlet outloud in class: ‘Go to Work With Your Parents Day?’ Suddenly, Principal Skinner answers him over the PA: ‘Yes, Go to Work With Your Parents Day.’ Gets me every time.

Excellent usage.

Simpsons-style hover-clouds ‘to block out sun at Qatar World Cup in 2022’ – Awarding a massive, summertime athletic event to Qatar means that the engineers have been tasked with blocking out the sun:

The mechanical clouds proposed would be made from lightweight carbon and hover high above an open-air stadium, shielding the sun’s rays in an attempt to control ground temperature.

Getting Richer, Not Poorer – The point, you have missed it:

On an ancient episode of The Simpsons, Lisa sets out to write an essay about what made America great. “What would Ben Franklin say if he were alive today?” she writes. “He’d say … find a better opening.”

Lisa’s edited effort did win the regional essay contest, but maybe she missed an opportunity. In a new book, “Poorer Richard’s America: What Would Ben Say” author Tom Blair channels Franklin and imagines the eldest Founding Father observing and commenting on our world.

Thank You Very Much Warren Christopher – Heh:

Former Secretary of State Warren Christopher died. While he has a long and important personal biography, for me he will always be the man who put an end to all wars and thus turned America’s youth gay.

There’s YouTube of Moe’s quote at the link.

Lisa Simpson by *xddx – Fan made drawing of Lisa, all grown up and looking like she’s either about to head out for a night on the town or just got back from one. 

‘Simpsonize me’…the best of the bunch – Burger King has apparently parted ways with the advertising agency that brought the world the (now sadly defunct) Simpsonize Me site. 

HOMER CAKES – I have no trouble believing that Tumblr is growing by two-hundred-fifty million pageviews per week because these Simpsons themed ones keep popping up (via @rubbrcatsimp).  As you can probably guess from the title, this one is about cakes of Homer Simpson, including some very elaborate ones. 

Top Comedic Influences – PLUS: Next Con Appearances – Serial tipster Sean sent in this video of That Guy With Glasses discussing his comedic influences.  The whole thing is nearly an hour long; the Simpsons part comes at about the 38:30 mark.  (Tip: You may want to let the whole thing buffer before you try to skip ahead.  It got all tied up when I tried to just move it along.)  He’s one of us:

“Like everyone I’m not a huge fan of the Simpsons now, I don’t really even watch it much anymore.  Sometimes you’ll get a laugh, but it’s mostly what are just sort of throwaway jokes.  It mostly just makes you remember the older Simpsons.”

Got that right.  Thanks Sean! 


Quote of the Day

Triangle Shirtwaist Fire

Image yoinked from Gothamist.

“Well, sir, I won’t bore you with the details of our miraculous escape, but we desperately need a real emergency exit.” – Charlie
“Why that’s a fabulous idea.  Anything else you’d like, how about real lead in the radiation shields?” – C.M. Burns


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