Washed Up on the Jersey Shore

Chalkboard - The Real Housewives of Fat Tony

“Now, the naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed by the creature’s uncivilized look, it’s foul language and, most of all, it’s indescribable stench.  A popular supermarket tabloid has offered a reward of five thousand dollars to anyone who brings in the creature alive.  Actually, we’ll have more on this story as soon as it develops.  We now return you to the President’s address, already in progress.” – TV News Guy

There’s an undeniable irony to watching Zombie Simpsons lob weak and spongy jokes at vacuous and appearance obsessed people who have an unjustifiably high opinion of themselves.  That both groups are desperate for attention and prone to automatically dismiss criticism as coming from “haterz” just makes it better.

Before reaching that unintentionally ironic ending, the show stumbled about in its usual way.  Neither of the two main story threads made any sense or managed to resolve themselves.  Characters appeared and disappeared from scenes at random.  Homer did a lot of needless screaming.

After all that came the inevitable Jersey Shore segment, which was neither creative nor energetic enough to rise to the level of “clusterfuck”.  Instead it was a halfhearted run through of every Jersey Shore joke you’ve already heard a dozen times, most especially about tanning lights.  Oh my, did they think they’d found a rich vein in tanning lights.

Anyway, the numbers are in, and they don’t mean much at the moment.  As this comment on our preview post can attest, the show was preempted in parts of the country so the President could come out and give his rendition of the Fuck You Dance.  For the moment it’s listed as having been instantly forgotten by 6.11 million viewers, but those numbers will likely change somewhat later in the week.

6 Responses to “Washed Up on the Jersey Shore”

  1. 1 ecco6t9
    2 May 2011 at 6:01 pm

    No “Bin Laden in a Blender?”

    Granted it’s Zombie Simpsons but it’s a nice jab.

  2. 2 Chris
    3 May 2011 at 1:31 am

    Hey guys, I started reading your website a few weeks ago and this is the best website around. You love the Simpsons as much as I do, and for the same reasons as I do. There’s nothing better than seeing you guys take the show to task for being so abhorrently terrible nowadays, and for ruining the grand legacy of the greatest show in television history.

    I would like to see you guys do more reviews of the classic era, though. Let’s face it, making fun of Zombie Simpsons is shooting fish in a barrel. It’s terrible, and it doesn’t attempt to be anything else. Critiquing the classic era, however, is much more challenging, and thus a much more rewarding read.

    Keep up the good work, and keep raising awareness to those who haven’t seen otherwise that the Simpsons was, at one time, the greatest thing ever.

  3. 3 Lovejoy Fan
    4 May 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Do you remember how you guys commented on the same few characters being crammed into every situation? Well, there was no better example of that than this wedding.

  4. 4 Charlie Sweatpants
    5 May 2011 at 4:56 pm

    @Chris – Many thanks, and we’ll be doing a little more old stuff this summer once Zombie Simpsons ends its season. We’re going to go through Season 10 in our Crazy Noises segment, plus I’m going to do some old commentary posts. If you’ve only been reading a couple of weeks, use the search thing on the right hand side and look for “compare contrast”. That’s where I get to laud the old ones while dumping on the new ones.

    @Lovejoy Fan – I know. But don’t forget the DMV at the beginning where everyone kept bidding. Was the entire town in line?

    • 5 Lovejoy Fan
      6 May 2011 at 1:45 pm

      Apparently so. Of course, only the usual characters got to speak; everyone else was just there to fill in the gaps.

  5. 6 karsten
    8 May 2011 at 5:37 pm


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