Archive for June, 2011


Quote of the Day

Homer Defined3

“My best friend shafted me.  I’ll never get over this, Otto man.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, sure you will.  You know, once my old lady ran off and married my brother.  Well, it hurt, but here it is a month later, and I’m sleeping on their couch!” – Otto

Edited to fix my inability to discern words in English.


Some Weekend Reading

Some Enchanted Evening5

“Until then, they can watch a tape from our video library.” – Marge Simpson

A couple of weeks ago, I came across a new addition to the Simpsons blog universe: Me Blog Write Good.  You can get the full background in the introductory post, but the short version is that this fine young man first got into the show on VHS, has been a fan ever since, and is now going to watch every episode from Seasons 1-20 and blog about it.  (He’s stopping at 20 because that’s when Zombie Simpsons finally broke his spirit.)  He finished Season 1 earlier this week, noting that he wouldn’t have much use for a “worst” episodes list until Season 9 at the earliest, and just yesterday started in on Season 2.  I’ve read them all, and if you’re reading this blog, you’ll probably enjoy his as well.


Quote of the Day

Blood Feud6

“What’s the matter, Homer?  You’re not your normal, effervescent self.” – Moe
“I got my problems, Moe.  Give me another one.” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, Homer, hey, you should not drink to forget your problems.” – Moe
“Yeah, you should only drink to enhance your social skills.” – Barney Gumble


Reading Digest: 1950s Television Edition


We’ve got three links this week that deal with the ancient dawn of television, some more unintentionally funny than others.  There’s also a guy who draws Bart obsessively, alumni updates for Groening and Kavner, some sweet YouTube, and plenty of excellent usage. 


The Greatest TV Writers Rooms Ever – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this exhaustive and informative article about the most revered television writing groups ever.  It starts all the way back in the 1950s, and displays the proper apathy toward Zombie Simpsons by only including people who wrote for the show through Season 5.  

I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience. – Two weeks ago, I linked to this, a performance of Simpsons music in New York.  Guest poster Lenny actually went, and this is her writeup, complete with a rather awesome YouTube video of the troupe singing the Love-Matic Grampa theme. 

The Top Ten TV Dads – If I told you that this list idolizes Ward Cleaver and sees television as a vast left wing conspiracy and is from a magazine, would you need more or less than three guesses to get to National Review?

This quote from Grandpa Simpson rings more and more true as I venture deeper into adulthood – Found this on Reddit, and I must nitpick.  There’s no “and” before “It’ll happen to you”.  Other than that, quite good.

Sideshow Bob Tree – This might be photoshopped, but no one ever said photoshopped things can’t be funny. 

25 Funny Signs From The Simpsons – A slight hint of Zombie Simpsons here, but overwhelmingly good stuff.

HelloGiggles – Homer Simpson’s Top 10 Best Parenting Tips – Setting aside that there are two quotes from the same rant in “Marge Be Not Proud”, this is a great list, with nothing past Season 9. 

Simpsons – Tag – With their life sapping uniforms on, the kids playing tag almost works better as still images with subtitles.

The Seasons of The Simpsons , In Order – He’s got Season 10 ahead of Season 1, but other than that everything single digit is ahead of everything double digit.  Well done. 

‘I Kid With Brad Garrett,’ just kidding – Apparently there’s a new iteration of “Kids Say the Darndest Things”, and this review of it contains excellent usage:

In a classic episode of “The Simpsons,” Homer gets drunk at a party and says to his son, “Bart! Do that thing you do that’s so cute!” It’s an awkward moment both for Bart and for the guests Homer is trying to entertain.

The reviewer is pretty lukewarm on the show, but what he leaves out is that Homer was drunk when he said that.  If you got Brad Garrett liquored up and then let kids torment him, I’d certainly be more likely to watch. 

Jennifer Aniston, Vin Diesel among Hollywood Walk of Fame class of 2012 – Groening is getting a star on the Walk of Fame.  That is all.

Do You Buy Rioter’s Apology? With Help From "The Simpsons" – Quoting four Simpsons scenes to spice up an otherwise dull story about a kid who was part of that Stanley Cup riot in Vancouver. 

Kavner lands role in "Relatively Speaking" on Broadway – It’s three one act plays, and has an official opening date of October 20th.  On the plus side, Woody Allen and Ethan Coen are involved, on the minus side, so is Steve Guttenberg. 

Heineken, Beck’s, Peroni, Tuborg. Duff? – American college student samples Duff in Italy, finds it disappointing. 

A legacy neglected – The history of Canberra, with an excellent reference up front:

But here in Canberra, a city designed from scratch by Walter Burley Griffin, the ACT’s economic development minister Andrew Barr recently declared Griffin was dead and irrelevant. It was time to move on and modernise.

”Griffin is surely the Jebediah Springfield of Canberra,” he said.

‘Mabul (The Flood)’ to open Jewish Film Festival – Mike Reiss goes to San Francisco:

Stein, who is stepping down after this festival, said he is also excited about the "comedy night" program called "Jews in Toons," offering episodes from three animated series, "The Simpsons," "Family Guy" and "South Park." Emmy-winning producer and writer Mike Reiss ("The Simpsons") will also show clips from his career as part of the program, 7 p.m. July 25 at the Castro.

I wonder if he’ll show anything from Zombie Simpsons. 

Degree shows 2011: Camberwell Graphics and Illustration – From an art college show in London comes one Sam Taylor, a man who likes drawing Bart.  You can see a couple of them near the top of the link, as well as here, here and here on his blog.  Creepy?  Sweet?  Creepysweet?

Simpsons Video of the Week: Smithers’s Deal – YouTube of Troy McClure explaining that Smithers is unmarried and currently resides in Springfield. 

“Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace ‘accidentally’ with ‘repeatedly’ and replace ‘dog’ with ‘son.’” -Lionel Hutz: (The Simpsons) – I nitpick because I care, Hutz actually says:

Hutz: “Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.”
Marge: “You did?”
Hutz: “Well, replace the word ‘kinda’ with the word ‘repeatedly’, and the word ‘dog’ with ‘son’.

The Upper Deck Sitcom Character Fantasy Draft – Homer was taken with the #2 overall pick behind John Ritter from Three’s Company

Barcelona Are Being Awful Clever… – Excellent European football usage:

Will You Take Us To Mount Splashmore?
Remember that episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Lisa want to go to Mount Splashmore and they go up to Homer and say "will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? Will you take us to Mount Splashmore?…"
That’s what Barca are doing to Arsenal regarding Fabregas. Eventually Wenger and P H to the Wood will just snap and shout "Arrrgghh! Please just take him if it will shut you up."
Cliff (Love caber tossing, hate SHGA) Mallinder

Homer Simpson’s Ceiling Waffle! – I know I shouldn’t eat thee, but . . . :


i know i haven’t done this in awhile, but MORNING GIF!!! – An animated .gif of Bart washing himself with a rag on a stick. 

prints! – A long time ago I posted a link to a wonderfully over the top Homer portrait.  Now you can buy a print of it (via).

Dangerous Entertainment News – Wednesday, June 22 – Discussing last night’s return of Futurama:

The problem with “Futurama” when it was on Fox was two-fold. First of all, people compared it to “The Simpsons” which is a losing situation for any show (unless you are comparing it to today’s “Simpsons” in which case you have a pretty good shot) and secondly, people are dumb.



Quote of the Day

Bart's Comet3

“Because you have impeded science, you must now aid science . . . yes.  Starting tomorrow, you will assist me with my amateur astronomy, taking down coordinates, carrying equipment, and so forth, four-thirty in the morning.” – Principal Skinner
“There’s a four-thirty in the morning now?” – Bart Simpson


A Lisa-centric Simpsons Marathon

– By Lenny Burnham

Yesterday I planned and executed a Lisa-centric Classic Simpsons marathon. I thought I’d make a handy guide of what discs you’ll need if you want to replicate this marathon and throw in a few notes and observations from the discussion that came up while we were watching.

Season One

Moaning Lisa (Disc One)

  • This episode caused an argument between my roommate and I. She just doesn’t like season one, even though this episode has Lisa saying she’s wailing for the homeless, poor farmers and sick miners and Mr. Largo telling her that none of those unpleasant people will be at the recital and Bleeding Gums telling her that she plays pretty well for someone with no real problems and that the blues is about making other people feel worse and making a few bucks while you’re at it. I know Dan Castellaneta sounds weird and half the people have the wrong hair and skin color, but come on.
  • I was a pretty depressed third grader and I listened to Lisa’s blues song a lot, with a level of seriousness that I probably should be ashamed of now, but I’m not.
  • It’s incredibly sad that Marge doesn’t really know how to comfort Lisa, even though we see that Marge was an unhappy child as well. It’s nice to see a comedy really go there.


Season Two

Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment (Disc Three)

  • This marathon was partially inspired by Lisa being a relatively underrated character when compared to Homer and Bart, so I was happy to report that the commentary on this episode states that they added Lisa’s name to the title because episodes with her name in the title are always popular. Looking at this list of episodes, I can see why.


Lisa’s Substitute (Disc Four)

  • My friend Sara has a theory that Holly Holiday from Glee is a direct rip off of the Dustin Hoffman character in this. A zany substitute who dresses up in historical costumes and tries to teach the kids to love themselves? I see it.
  • This episode and “Moaning Lisa” are both very funny while being about a depressed child who will probably not feel any better for a long time. That might be one of the strongest aspects of Classic Simpsons.
  • I use the phrase “Semitic good looks” a lot. It comes up.


Season Three

Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (Disc One)

  • This episode has a nice handful of good jokes with a feminist bent, but my favorite is definitely Homer and Marge’s respective responses to the “Ms.-Haps” cartoon. The title alone is such a great satire of just how blatantly sexist the media can be. Then we get Homer and Marge’s respective responses. Homer says, “Ain’t it the truth.” Marge responds by saying it’s not the truth, it’s just a sexist stereotype. Homer immediately busts out the “it’s just entertainment” excuse. He insists that cartoons don’t have any deeper meaning despite the fact that he’d said “ain’t it the truth” just a second before, perfectly demonstrating the faultiness of people insisting “it’s just entertainment” when something perpetuates terrible stereotypes. Classic Simpsons: the show that will have a brilliant moment of insight and then show an ass crack. They were firing on all cylinders.
  • Lisa Sees Dead People #1: The Thomas Jefferson statue comes to life and talks to her. She isn’t taken aback.
  • I love how encouraging Bart is in this episode. It took someone who doesn’t care at all about authority or politeness to give Lisa the total support she deserves. (“Cesspool! Cesspool!”)


Lisa’s Pony (Disco Two)

  • I love that Bleeding Gums Murphy loves Bart’s comedy routine. That man is so nurturing of the Simpsons kids’ talents.


Lisa the Greek (Disc Three)

  • I made an apartment for my Barbie in a shoebox, but I can’t remember whether I got the idea from this episode.
  • This episode says that gambling is illegal in 48 states. They were slightly off: It’s actually illegal in 2 states. [I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they were probably talking specifically about sports betting, but they do just say “gambling.”]


Separate Vocations (Disc Three)

  • I love that this episode shows what an effective badass Lisa would be if she were a badass. Stealing the Teacher’s Editions was a fantastic prank. The teachers should be lucky that Bart is the hellraiser and not Lisa because Bart and Krabappel can spar back and forth, but Lisa would eventually just destroy her teacher.

Season Four

Lisa the Beauty Queen (Disc One)

  • Props to Lisa for being on the ball enough to see the danger of Amber’s scepter acting as a lightning rod when no one else was worried about it.


I Love Lisa (Disc 3)

  • Excellent use of the “Monster Mash.”
  • “I’m not gay, but I’ll learn.”
  • I’m proud of Lisa for finding the “Let’s Bee Friends” card—it expressed exactly what she wanted to say and had the kind of pun Ralph loves. I imagine she was searching Hallmark for at least ninety minutes.


Season Five

Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy (Disc 3)

  • It’s hard to talk about this episode in a concise manner because there’s so much to say about it. For now I’ll leave it at the fact that calling this episode “timeless” feels wrong because I think the ultimate goal of this episode is to aim for a better world where the satire around talking Malibu Stacy won’t feel timeless.
  • We were sort of disappointed that season 5 only had one Lisa-centered episode, but they did really hit it out of the park with “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy.” I assume that after that one, everyone was afraid to pitch Lisa ideas since they didn’t want to follow that.


Season Six

Lisa’s Rival (Disc 1)

  • My roommate and I both strongly believe that Homer’s sugar rant and that plot in general are the highest forms of comedy that mankind has ever achieved.  We are consistently baffled when we watch this episode with people who aren’t brought to tears by the power of the sugar b-plot.


Lisa on Ice (Disc 2)

  • “I hope you understand I’m too tense to pretend I like you”


Lisa’s Wedding (Disc 3)

  • They were really on the ball predicting Lisa’s outfit. She’s clearly wearing skinny jeans and an American Apparel sweater.
  • I never realized it before, but this episode referenced Lisa growing up to be a vegetarian and came out before “Lisa the Vegetarian.” The writers really understand their characters.


‘Round Springfield (Disc 4)

  • Lisa Sees Dead People #2: Bleeding Gums Murphy communicates to Lisa through the clouds, not to mention Mufasa, Darth Vader and the CNN guy. She isn’t taken aback.


Season Seven

Lisa the Vegetarian (Disc 1)

  • I think the Independent Thought Alarm sequence is Simpsons at its best. The idea of an elementary school with an Independent Thought Alarm is already so powerful and then they perfectly build on it by having Skinner say that the children are overstimulated and instructing Willy to take the colored chalk out of the classrooms.


Lisa the Iconoclast (Disc 3)

  • Lisa Sees Dead People #3: George Washington visits Lisa. Naturally.

Summer of 4 Ft. 2 (Disc 4)

  • It seems like Lisa is really dismissive of the two girls on the yearbook. They like her, so shouldn’t that be enough? The theory we came up with is that those two girls are so close with each other that it’s impossible for Lisa to get in on that friendship.
  • During one of the touching Lisa/Erin scenes, I mentioned that this episode is borderline romantic. I mean, Lisa and Erin really grow fond of each other over the course of the episode. My friends who weren’t distracted by being a huge lesbian reminded me that when you’re a kid, friendships tend to get so close they seem romantic because you’re very quickly like, “I’ve never felt this way before!”


Well, that’s the marathon. I will give Season 8 a little credit by mentioning that there are episodes in Season 8 that I consider to be well worth watching. Sadly, “My Sister, My Sitter” and “The War of Lisa Simpson” are not among them.


Quote of the Day

Team Homer5

“If we quit now, we’ll never know how badly they’re gonna beat us.” – Homer Simpson
“Yeah, you’re right.  That’s the kind of thing that would haunt you.” – Moe


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