Archive for November, 2011


Quote of the Day

Homer and Apu5

“Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart corporation.” – Executive
“But, sir, I was only following standard procedure.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“Ah, true.  But it’s also standard procedure to blame any problems on a scapegoat or sacrificial lamb.” – Executive
“Uh-huh.  And if I can obtain for you these animals?” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon


Quote of the Day


“Music is none of my business.” – Marge Simpson
“That’s fine for you, Marge, but I used to rock and roll all night and party every day.  Then it was every other day.  Now I’m lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday Wes Archer!


Reading Digest: Muppets Edition

A Fish Called Selma7

“Dad, what’s a Muppet?” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, it’s not quite a mop, and it’s not quite a puppet, but man . . . so to answer your question, I don’t know.” – Homer Simpson

Shorter than usual Reading Digest this week on account of Thanksgiving, but there are a couple of links relating to the new Muppet movie.  One is the quote above, which was very popular when discussing the revival of the moribund Muppets franchise, the other is a reference to none other than Poochie by the director himself.  As usual, once The Simpsons comments on something, it sticks around forever.  Besides that there’s two great pieces of fan art, some excellent usage, the pepper spray meme, and some despair at network television’s fan unfriendly cancellation decisions. 


Milhouse Art – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this excellent fan made Milhouse art.  I especially like the second one. 

Nobody Likes Milhouse! – Animated .gif with subtitles.

Occupy Wall Street Supporter Makes Jay-Z "Scrooge" Sculpture – That is a neat sculpture, particularly the Mr. Burns head sandwiched between Hova and Scrooge McDuck. 

Pepper spraying cop meme: next level – Chief Wiggum goes to UC Davis.  

IAR Press Conference Coverage: ‘The Muppets’ – Lots of people quoted this in response to the new Muppets movie, please consider this link a stand in for the rest of them:

In a now ancient but in no way diminished episode of The Simpsons, Lisa asks Homer, "Dad, what’s a Muppet?"  To which her father replies, "Well, it’s not quite a mop, and not quite a puppet, but man," and laughs with a satisfied chuckle before adding, "To answer your question: I don’t know."  Aside from being a typically quotable moment of vintage Simpsons, this exchange actually gets to the essence of The Muppets.  Intellectually, we know that Jim Henson‘s creations are simply felt puppets, yet they’re imbued with such character and life that we wholly believe them as living organisms with heart and soul.

Excellent usage.

Director James Bobin Talks ‘The Muppets’ – Hey, speaking of the Muppets, here’s an interview with the director of the new movie about a new Muppet they made:

Anytime you hear that, there’s going to be a new character, you’re all, “Oh no…” It’s like in The Simpsons, when they did that great episode about the skateboarding ninja dog.

Oh yeah, Poochie!

Poochie! Right, Poochie is a guy who’s created by the network to make it cool. They just have this disastrous idea, and they have another random character who’s just living in [The Simpsons’] house. The Simpsons were always very honest about that sort of thing. Literally, the death knell of any great idea is that committee coming together to create a character to put in the show, because the demographics demand it.

The Simpsons named US TV show with greatest influence on Britain – I don’t know enough about British culture to speak to this, but you’ll get no argument from me. 

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword…In 10 Words – Lee Carvallo, you’ve done it again.

Pyjamas – Slightly cleverer than the usual Krusty Brand Seal of Approval stuff, it’s a t-shirt with Homer’s body so the wearer’s head goes where Homer’s would.  It does clash slightly with the ruggedly handsome model.  At least he’s got the five o’clock shadow. 

Three of a Kind – Expounding on the superiority of the SEC to the shattered remains of the Big 12:

The Big 12 is 2 teams deep right now.  And one of those teams lost to the worst team in the big 12 since the big 12 was ever thought of.  To quote Moe Syzlak “they’re the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.”  Yes, I’m talking about Iowa State.

The quote is slightly off, he says “They were the suckiest”, and of course it was Homer who said it, not Moe.  Apparently Ess Eee Cee speed does not allow for double checking things. 

“Yeah, I used to be rich.  I owned Mickey Mouse Massage Parlors, then those Disney sleazeballs shut me down.  I said, ‘Look, I’ll change the logo, put Mickey’s pants back on!’  Pfft, some guys you just can’t reason with.” – Railroad Bridge Bum (The Simpsons) – “Well, I used to own a successful car company.  My strategy was giving ’em Japanese names.  You guys ever drive a Tempura hatchback?”

My Six-Year-Old Sings the Blues – Excellent usage:

But since we’re mother and daughter, I assume that there’s some connection between her desire to steep herself in sadness when she’s sad and my tendency towards annoyance when people try to cheer me out of the doldrums.

“The blues isn’t about feeling better, it’s about making other people feel worse, and making a few bucks while you’re at it.” – Bleeding Gums Murphy (from The Simpsons)

Let’s Get Animated! – A top ten list of animated comedies.  The Simpsons gets the top spot for obvious reasons, but I was pleasantly surprised to see The Critic at #4, and Mission Hill even makes an appearance. 

Network Television has no humanity – This is true:

Network Television, if they’re not killing wonderful TV shows in their prime, then they just start beating a dead horse! I think we can all agree, that even though The Office is a great show, it would have been better if they had just took a leave out of the book of their British counterpart and ENDED THE SHOW WHILE THEY WERE AHEAD! Same goes for the Simpsons…. I mean really?

Really.  Sad, but really. 


Quote of the Day

Homer's Triple Bypass3

“I keep hearing this horrible, irregular thumping noise.” – Homer Simpson
“It’s your heart, and I think it’s on its last thump.” – Mechanic
“Whew, I was afraid it was my transmission.” – Homer Simpson
“Hey, where’s he going?” – Billy
“Billy, remember that old Plymouth we just couldn’t fix?” – Mechanic
“We’re going to sell him to Mr. Nikolopoulos?” – Billy
“You’re a dull boy, Billy.” – Mechanic


Quote of the Day

Bart vs Thanksgiving6

“Now, before we sit down to our delicious turkey puree, I have some happy news.  The following people have relatives who wish they could be here today: Antonovsky, Conroy, Falcone, Martin, Thorson, and Walsh . . . oh, and Mrs. Spencer, you too.” – Springfield Retirement Castle Guy
“Oh, I knew they wouldn’t forget me.” – Mrs. Spencer


Compare & Contrast: Defeating the Bad Guy

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish6

“Wait, come back!  You can’t do this to me!  I’m Charles Montgomery Burns!” – C.M. Burns

As an audience member, there are few things more satisfying that a good defeat of a wretched villain.  Unfortunately, that also means when things go wrong, when the villain is bland or the ending is weak, it is correspondingly unsatisfying.  At the end of the “The Book Job”, Homer and his improbable posse use what Lisa describes as an idea from “every movie ever” to stymie a book publisher who, despite what the music would have you believe, isn’t all that evil.  I say “stymie” instead of “defeat” because it isn’t at all clear that what he’s doing is evil or that he’d be in any way displeased with the results; and I say “book publisher” instead of his name because he’s so bland he didn’t get a name.  By contrast, at the end of “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish”, Marge permanently defeats Mr. Burns’ run for governor with nothing more than her wits and the three eyed fish that was in the first scene.

For a really enjoyable villain defeat, you need to have a proper villain do terrible things so that people really want to see him lose, which Zombie Simpsons naturally doesn’t.  The nameless book publisher doesn’t commit any crimes, hurts no one, and hardly seems all that evil.  What is his offense, exactly?  Editing a book that was deliberately made to be crappy and formulaic?  Only on Zombie Simpsons could rewriting mass produced schlock be considered a sin.

Evil Glasses, Eviler Cravat

The only evil thing about this guy are his fashion accessories. 

Mr. Burns, one of television’s great villains, hardly needs describing, so let’s just concentrate on what he’s trying to do in “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish”.  After his plant miserably fails an inspection, he’s faced with a hefty but by no means ruinous repair bill.  Instead of spending money on fixing the plant, his response is to purchase the governor’s office so he can continue running his business in a manner that will one day render the planet uninhabitable.  The Simpsons being The Simpsons, it’s played for laughs, but when you think about what he’s trying to do it’s truly despicable.  The other guy just wants to sell a few books that, while low brow, don’t harm anyone and actually seem to make quite a few people happy.

Beyond his lack of evil though, the bad guy in “The Book Job” doesn’t actually get defeated.  At the end we see that the book, trolls and all, is quite popular.  The bookstore has given it lots of shelf space, and kids and geeks are reading it avidly.  Since all he wants to do is make money selling books, and he doesn’t care at all whether the book is about trolls or vampires, he’s actually won.  The million dollars he paid to Homer’s goofy gang of the suddenly hyper-competent is a small price to pay for the runaway bestseller and budding franchise he appears to have on his hands.

The opposite happens to Mr. Burns, who sees himself humiliated on television and his campaign for governor thwarted on the eve of success.  Best of all, Burns is defeated by his own villainy.  His disregard for polluting the water is what allows Marge to defeat him. 

In short, the nameless book guy isn’t evil and doesn’t lose.  Mr. Burns is unlimitedly evil and is utterly beaten.  One of those is a great ending, the other is Zombie Simpsons. 


Quote of the Day

The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson4

“You know, when I was a girl, I always dreamed of being in a Broadway audience.” – Marge Simpson


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