14
Feb
12

Crazy Noises: The Daughter Also Rises

I Love Lisa9

As part of our tireless efforts to demonstrate the many ways Zombie Simpsons fails to entertain, Season 23 will be subjected to the kind of rigorous examination that can only be produced by people typing short messages at one another.  More dedicated or modern individuals might use Twitter for this, but that’s got graphics and short links and little windows that pop up when you put your cursor over things.  The only kind of on-line communications we like are the kind that could once be done at 2400 baud.  So disable your call waiting, plug in your modem, and join us for another year of Crazy Noises.  This text has been edited for clarity and spelling (especially on “homunculus”).

We give Zombie Simpsons a lot of grief for repeating jokes, but “The Daughter Also Rises” contained a impressively craven double dip on that count.  Not only did they rip off one Valentine’s Day episode for another, they repeated an Itchy & Scratchy segment almost shot for shot:

“I Love Lisa” (1993)

“The Daughter Also Rises” (2012)

MyBloodyValentine1 RosesAreRed1
MyBloodyValentine2 RosesAreRed2
MyBloodyValentine3 RosesAreRed3
MyBloodyValentine4 RosesAreRed4

Zombie Simpsons upped the gore and lost the humor in the process, but other than that they slavishly copied Season 4.  Now, maybe nineteen years is long enough that a segment can bear repeating, but if you’re going to do that, why not just rerun the old ones on Sundays at 8? 

Charlie Sweatpants: Ready to get started?

Mad Jon: Yes

Charlie Sweatpants: Where shall we begin?

Mad Jon: The top is as ‘good’ a place as any.

Charlie Sweatpants: Well, the couch gag certainly took a long time.

Mad Jon: Indeed. But what a way to celebrate 499 episodes.

By pointing out that next week is the 500th. 500 is a large number, especially for a show that died 15 years ago.

Charlie Sweatpants: The emphasis on milestones like that is just another indication of how the show now exists for the sake of existing. Like Fry, existing is basically all it does. When they were still putting out good episodes they blew through 100 with just that chalkboard gag about NOT celebrating meaningless milestones.

Mad Jon: Yeah well, it was pretty much par for couch gags in the last few years.

Charlie Sweatpants: Oh certainly.

Mad Jon: Anyway, brushing past the 56" HDTV in the living room, it was nice of Kirk Van Houten to show up for a few minutes, I haven’t seen him since the last time he and Luanne got back together/got divorced.

Charlie Sweatpants: That was pretty bizarre. Though why Bart and Milhouse would be opening valentines together is also beyond me.

Mad Jon: And why Bart would have so many. But whatever. Don’t you usually open those in class on Valentines Day? Are we that old that things have changed so much?!?

The important thing is that the lopsided valentines haul led to them having a Myth Busters thing to work with or something.

Every time they went to do something, I could hear Moses from the Super Friends South Park narrating the scene in my head.

  Um, then they, uh get candy cigarettes from the vending machine…

  Can you hear it now?

Charlie Sweatpants: That’s a good comparison. The randomness was in full swing, what was with Homer and Bart having fun together?

Mad Jon: I don’t know.

  That’s a question.

Charlie Sweatpants: The Myth Busters thing kinda pissed me off, because that’s a show they could’ve actually made fun of. The insane stuff they do, the "myths" that nobody’s ever heard of and even fewer actually believe. There’s a lot to work with there, but instead they had Bart and Milhouse become junior detectives, or something. I wasn’t really clear on it, and I don’t think they were either.

And what was with that Nick kid? Was he a kid? Because he sure didn’t act like one. For a while I thought he might be a hallucination, especially after that cafe scene and playing the song from Inception.

Mad Jon: I think he was the Irish boyfriend from the movie, and his card just came back up, so they gave him a different voice and called it a day.

Except this guy went from nondescript to apparently troubled 8 year old writer.

  I didn’t understand that until it was spelled out for me in the end.

And I didn’t think they could come up with a new way to kill as much time as they did with the peripheral vision montage, but man, they found a way!

Charlie Sweatpants: That was a little head spinning. When he started falling apart I thought they were maybe going for a "Lard of the Dance" type thing, with a kid who acts more grown up than he really is. But that was too much to expect. Instead they just let everything peter out.

Mad Jon: It was like every teenage relationship a real girl would have rolled up into ~6 minutes of dialog.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, it’s always weird to see the kids having these adult relationships.

Mad Jon: And I also suppose that I was supposed to think that Marge and Lisa were growing apart, but again, I didn’t really get it until Marge actually voiced that.

Charlie Sweatpants: And while I don’t much care about inter-episode continuity, Lisa was acting like this was her first romance (or something, it was pretty vague), like kissing this weirdly under-grown kid was the biggest event in her life. That’s both very unlike her, and something we’ve seen her do like three times already.

Mad Jon: Yep. I was actually surprised that Nelson wasn’t involved out of jealousy.

Charlie Sweatpants: He and everyone else was too busy apparently following Bart and Milhouse around. Then they got upset with Bart and Milhouse. And then they weren’t upset with them anymore.

That entire thing with Groundskeeper Willie was just agonizing.

Mad Jon: Even in a zombie episode, I can’t for the life of me believe that someone allowed the writers to have Bart say "I just figured out how to make school cool again!"

  Truly, no one cares anymore.

Charlie Sweatpants: They really don’t. How else can you explain that long ass thing with the salad dressing?

Marge wants to protect the salad dressing, fine. But then we go into twenty seconds of churning and bubbling why? Was the episode that short?

Mad Jon: I was also surprised how short her freakout was during the post-bubbling period.

Charlie Sweatpants: That whole scene didn’t make sense. Just physically, trying to place them was tough. Was Moe supposed to be sitting at the same table as whatshisface? Because they appeared to be in the same crack.

Mad Jon: I guess. That was actually more believable than the Kirk part in the beginning. Who, by the by, was sitting with Luanne at the table on the other side of Lisa and Marge.

  And what was the deal with the three twins? Was that a horror movie take off that I don’t recognize?

Charlie Sweatpants: No idea. It was just bizarre.

Mad Jon: Ok then. I thought I was just more out of the loop than normal.

Charlie Sweatpants: The same thing was true when the kid came over to the Simpsons house. He’s sitting there, and then Marge starts talking to Lisa like he’s not there.

And later, when Lisa meets Marge at the sewing store, huh? How did she get there?

  This was like watching blind monkeys play chess. Shit just kept sliding around.

Mad Jon: Were we supposed to know that they were going to meet there?

Charlie Sweatpants: No idea. But Marge’s little speech about "I don’t want you to spend so much time with this boy, if you do it’ll mean you’re a separate person from me" was particularly aggravating from that perspective. Not only do they spell things out, they don’t even do it well.

Mad Jon: Yeah, it went along real well with the rest of the ‘have the actors say what they feel’ theme that was this episode.

  That makes me feel angry!

Charlie Sweatpants: And don’t forget the little historical flashback. I think that one may have gotten edited in from the rag episode accidentally.

Mad Jon: Was their love really as forbidden as the myth would have me believe? We had barely just been told that Marge was jealous of Nick, and all of the sudden Claire Danes has to kill herself.

Charlie Sweatpants: Exactly. There was nothing standing in their way . . . truly a story for the ages.

Mad Jon: And it ended with Nick channeling his inner Niles Crane.

Charlie Sweatpants: And Marge letting a supposed eight-year-old row a boat back to land by himself.

Mad Jon: And then he disappears from the island and Marge and Lisa share water shoes while Homer SINKS A FAN BOAT.

Charlie Sweatpants: I guess the fan boat was there the whole time, but maybe not.

Mad Jon: Probably maybe not. Who knows.

Well, I don’t really have anything else positive or negative to add. Although I am sure I could come up with something if you want me to suffer further.

Charlie Sweatpants: No. I don’t think there’s much here. It was a confusing mess of an episode from start to finish. The Itchy and Scratchy thing was basically a gorier, less funny and longer remake of the one from "I Love Lisa".

It was kinda about Valentine’s Day, but not really.

Mad Jon: I guess it was, but not. Or what you said.

Charlie Sweatpants: They had about four or five potential themes but each one got dropped in succession.

Mad Jon: I miss Love Day.

Charlie Sweatpants: The guest star was wasted on a weird homunculus of a kid. And their parody of Myth Busters was called Myth Crackers.

Mad Jon: There was a guest star?

  Who the hell was it?

Charlie Sweatpants: That was Michael Cera.

Mad Jon: Well fuck a duck.

Charlie Sweatpants: Yeah, it didn’t really sound like him, or anyone else for that matter.


18 Responses to “Crazy Noises: The Daughter Also Rises”


  1. 1 Bea Simmons' Rotting Corpse
    14 February 2012 at 5:45 pm

    Michael Cera must’ve been trying to hide the fact that he was on zombie Simpsons or something

  2. 14 February 2012 at 6:38 pm

    I dunno, I thought it sounded and looked exactly like Michael Cera. I mean, he only has one voice/role and no range whatsoever. When announced he was going to be on this show, it was pretty much a given he’d be “Lisa’s sensitive boyfriend” or some bullshit, and sure enough………

    Anyway… The Sherri and Terri and, I dunno, Merri (or whatever you want to call their, uh, new twin sister?!)… thing… was one of the weirdest things on the history of the fucking show. What the fuck?!

    • 3 Patrick
      14 February 2012 at 9:03 pm

      That sent a shiver down my spine :(

    • 4 Thrillho
      14 February 2012 at 9:22 pm

      In another instance of wasted guest stars, he barely got any development and there were a few instances where he didn’t even speak in certain scenes. Say what you will about Michael Cera, but a more competent show would have utilized him better (and there was one that did just that for 3 seasons, but I digress.)

      Also, my reaction to the candy cigarettes bit was pretty much the same. Just why?

      • 5 Patrick
        15 February 2012 at 1:31 am

        Has the barrel even got anything in it anymore? I feel like the bottom was scraped clean years ago…

        • 6 Thrillho
          15 February 2012 at 10:55 am

          Yeah, pretty much. Up until recently, even the worst Zombie Simpsons episodes had at least one funny moment or potentially good idea in them. The last few have been bereft of anything amusing or clever.

          • 7 Patrick
            16 February 2012 at 2:17 am

            Ok yes seasons 10-12 were when the show really took a nosedive but at least the show had a sense of humour (even tho the humour was out of place).

      • 15 February 2012 at 3:23 am

        Oh, I love Arrested Developement, and even some of Cera’s films. But I still contend he plays the same character every single time irregardless…

  3. 9 monoceros4
    14 February 2012 at 9:03 pm

    The ruined opportunity with Mythbusters bugs me more than it should. As I said in an earlier comment, it felt like typical Zombie Simpsons’ jumping onto a bandwagon years after the wheels had come off it. Mythbusters has gotten very lame after a strong first few seasons and, as you point out, the show’s gimmickry is ripe for a bit of satirization. Instead it’s played just as another opportunity for fawning over guest stars.

    • 10 Patrick
      14 February 2012 at 9:07 pm

      Another missed opportunity it’s a good thing that they didn’t use a not-ghost hunters… oh boy imagine the bullshit it would produce :/

  4. 11 Mr. Incognito
    15 February 2012 at 1:20 am

    You know, I’m curious on what Matt Selman has to say about the Itchy & Scratchy bit and its similarities to the older, better one.

  5. 12 Chrissy
    15 February 2012 at 9:44 am

    “The emphasis on milestones like that is just another indication of how the show now exists for the sake of existing.”

    I agree…and that is the ONLY way to descibe the show now.

  6. 13 Chrissy
    15 February 2012 at 9:45 am

    describe*

  7. 15 February 2012 at 10:32 am

    the guys who do the simpsons are getting rich while you moron are watching it, wasting your time, speaking about it.

    now who is the idiot?

    • 15 February 2012 at 11:25 am

      That’s a no brainer. Their wealth concerns weren’t an issue when they were putting out a good product and everyone on this site could stop watching and they’d still make the same amount of money, so I guess their finances are irrelevant to this discussion, like you.

  8. 16 Stan
    15 February 2012 at 11:35 am

    For the Itchy&Scratchy bit, it’s not just a repeat. Look at all excessive brutality they integrate into the episode: Itchy uses parts of Scratchy to create a gift for him, and then Scratchy with no eyes is supposed to like it. And then he dies. I mean, the original idea was stupid enough, but it worked at least half-way because there was no gore implied. The recent one feels like it wouldn’t have made it through censorship, and makes even less sense in general.

  9. 17 Chris
    15 February 2012 at 12:44 pm

    During their time, Oakley and Weinstein went out of their way to get guest stars with distinct voices, like Kirk Douglas, Lawrence Tierney and Donald Sutherland. They didn’t care about getting who was “hot” at the time, but rather getting who was right for the part and could bring real character to the show. It’s a novel concept, making decisions based on what’s best for the show, and one that’s been lost since Oakley and Weinstein left.

  10. 18 Josh
    19 February 2012 at 12:34 am

    “Don’t you usually open those in class on Valentines Day? Are we that old that things have changed so much?!?”

    No, it’s the children who are wrong.


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