Reading Digest: Yup, That Ship Is Still Underwater Edition

Roger Corman's Titanic

“And now, the conclusion of our thousand dollar movie, Roger Corman’s ‘Titanic’.” – TV Announcer
“We’re safe now, Clarice.  We made it away from that cursed ship.” – B-Movie Guy
“Now I can relax and take off this stifling bikini.” – B-Movie Gal

Next Sunday is the hundredth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.  Since there’s apparently some money out there that he still doesn’t have, James Cameron will be re-releasing his movie of the same name.  This prompted two links, one of which may be the only time in the coming hundred years that I say something nice about E!.  In addition to that, we’ve got lots of excellent usage, a list of potential Simpsons spinoffs, several fan made drawings, and a refined epicurean’s guide to beer and donuts.


The Audacious Epigone: Ranking The Simpsons seasons – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is someone who agrees with us, and went through the IMDb ratings to prove it.  We’ve done the same, and it’s nice to see confirmation. 

Best of Geekery: Top 10 Potential Simpsons Spin-Offs – Exactly what it says.  I would definitely watch “Future Maggie in High School”.

Shakespearean fools: Their modern equivalents – The BBC compares Homer to Dogberry in “Much Ado About Nothing”.  (via)

Bart’s Complex House of Mirrors – Very cool fan made image of Bart and Homer (who has hair for some reason). 

All My Simpsons: Lionel Hutz – A slew of great Hutz quotes that is shockingly missing the one about Judge Snyder.

Frampton, Omaha fans love your way – Here’s why you have to be creative with celebrity guests:

A lot of laughs came in the middle of "Do You Feel Like We Do." After dozens of photos moved across a video screen behind Frampton, a clip played from the "Homerpalooza" episode of "The Simpsons" that features him. The bit involves him trying to launch an inflatable pig into the crowd by stomping on a pedal labeled "PIG."

A member of Frampton’s crew placed a "PIG" pedal onstage and he held it up and said "Where’s my pig?" while the video played.

Frampton only has a few lines in that episode, but he still gets to do and say things that are memorable and funny.  Most guests these days just show up and say their names.  Frampton has something that people still recognize a decade and a half later. 

Marge Simpson teasing mr. Burns by ~kuroishin on deviantART – Great fan art that almost looks like a discarded idea from “Marge Gets a Job”. 

Feminist Reading of “The Simpsons” – Collegiate essay that sadly cites two Zombie Simpsons episodes instead of far more interesting offerings like “Marge on the Lam”, “Principal Charming”, “Lisa the Beauty Queen” and, of course, “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”. 

You Are What You Wear – Science sez: the clothes you wear have a psychological effect on you.  However obvious that may seem, there is this:

The concept for the research stemmed from an episode of  “The Simpsons.”

The episode featured a group of children in gray uniforms who were very quiet. After a rainstorm came and washed the clothing into color, their behaviors changed.

“[I] started thinking about how the clothes you wear and the meaning” behind those clothes, Galinsky said. “If you put on a black T-shirt, you become more aggressive. You put on a nurse’s uniform, you become more helpful.”

Homer Simpson Delight: Pairing Donuts and Beer – Which kinds of beer go best with which donuts?  This handy guide has you covered. 

Movie Review: Titanic 3D’s Impressive Effects Do the Epic Story Justice…for the Most Part – Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut:

The best 3-D enhancements include any scenes where somebody looks over the deck—Rose’s suicide attempt, for example, or the now-infamous "King of the World" scene (does anyone else remember that, in fact, The Simpsons did that first in the 1990 episode "Bart the Daredevil"?).

Well done, E-online.  Now please go back to sucking, otherwise I might have to start taking you seriously. 

Let’s talk about sex, baby – Excellent usage:

There was a time, not too long ago, when the mere mention of the word "sex" had me cringing in my seat, cautious of what was about to happen on screen. Naturally, I’m talking about an episode of The Simpsons from 1995.

The episode was titled The Last Temptation of Homer, and it featured Homer Simpson contemplating whether to start an affair with co-worker Mindy (voiced by Michelle Pfeiffer)*; late in the episode, the pair go to a hotel room and Homer starts crying. Mindy asks what is wrong. "Oh, yeah, like you don’t know," cries Homer. "We’re gonna have sex!"

Perfectly quoted, and bonus points for that slightly lusty look Timothy Olyphant is giving Ian McShane in that Deadwood picture.

Technology: Helping you get a useless education faster! – More excellent usage:

In a classic episode of The Simpsons, Homer changes his name to “Max Power” and declares to Bart and Lisa, “Kids, there’s three ways to do thingsT the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way!” Bart asks, “Isn’t that the wrong way?” And Homer replies, “Yeah, but faster!”

The belief that using the Internet to teach the same old college material will magically fix higher education is the equivalent of believing in the Max Power way — “Let’s keep doing education wrong, but faster!”

I wouldn’t call that episode a classic, but that is a great line.

Simpsons Nuclear Street Art in Chernobyl – YouTube from Chernobyl of that Simpsons mural from last week.

Team Retrospective: Denver Broncos – The Broncos are worth approximately a billion ($1,000,000,000) dollars, won back-to-back Super Bowls not that long ago, and just signed a four time MVP as their quarterback.  Nevertheless, Homer once said they suck, and so they shall suck forever.  Excellent usage.

Mad Men…In 10 Words – Without it we’d have had no fun since March of 1961!

Funk Dance 101 – YouTube of Moe’s dancing/shotgun lesson.

04.01.12 Danny Elfman and…well…Danny Elfman! – Lots of links for various Elfman projects.

Arranged – Photographic proof that they don’t just sell Duff the beer in England, they also sell Duff the energy drink.

Ulster Unionists’ Mr Burns should take a look at Rab C Nesbitt – A lengthy (and somewhat inaccurate) comparison of Burns’ run for governor with some Irish politician who said he should maybe spend some time with poor people to get to know them. 

100 Best Comedy Characters Currently On Television (10-1) – And the list concludes with Homer falling just short at #2.

Stupid Sexy Flanders! – The animated .gif.

Friday March 23 2012 | The CatBeard Project – A fan made Scratchy looking cat with a cat pirate hat and cat pirate uniform. 

Quote Hanger – Homer Simpson on the movie that made Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock stars, though he says “it would explode”, not “the bus would explode”. 

Santa’s Little Helper Doodle, AKA. Woof Woof! – Very accurate fan sketch of Santa’s Little Helper.

Modern Gentlemen … – YouTube of Homer’s most famous alcohol quote.

Draw Something With Kirk Van Houten – How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters?

‘The Big Lebowski’: A cloud of weed descends on Jason Reitman’s live-read – It’s always good to have someone on hand who can do a shitload of impressions:

Another slight hitch came just moments later, as Reitman read the stage direction about The Dude, writing out a check for .69 cents in a grocery story, seeing a clip of then-President George H.W. Bush on television. A long pause followed. “Oh, we never assigned that to anybody!”

Hank Azaria jumped in to rescue, with a quavering impression of our 41st president slamming Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait with, “This aggression will not stand, this … this will not stand.” Azaria, an infinite supply of voices on The Simpsons, was also playing the pornstar nihilist Karl Hungus, Steve Buscemi’s Donny, and the private eye Da Fino — doing an incredibly spot-on imitation of character actor Jon Polito (which is an unusual impression to have in one’s repertoire.)

"Lisa Simpson is my president" – At an anti-war protest a few years ago, someone got a great picture of a sign that says “Lisa Simpson Is My President” in front of the White House.  The only odd thing is that the image is of her wearing a Movementarian uniform.  (via)

ObscureSimpsonsQuotes – Someone on Vimeo has been putting up, as the user name would imply, “obscure” Simpsons quotes.  No doubt the fun police will be along at some point, because watching five second clips will naturally destroy someone’s urge to buy a DVD.  In the meantime, enjoy.

The Weekly Listicle: Will Find Weaker Listicles And Attack – A list of famous bullies includes Nelson alongside the likes of Biff Tannen and Rachel McAdams from Mean Girls.

Simpsons Sums Up: Adventure Time – Heh.

Tele-Tuesday: A Pick Per Night 2012, The Funny Results – A fan poll result:

Reader’s Choice:  Family Guy came in first with 30% of the reader’s vote, with The Simpsons following close behind with 26%.  Is anyone else with us who can’t believe The Simpsons is still on air, airing new episodes?  How many seasons is this?  CRAZY!

Yeah, Zombie Simpsons sucks.

Lenny & Steve’s Excellent Adventure Through the 100 Best TV Episodes of the Past 20 Years: Part 3 – “Lisa’s First Word” and “A Streetcar Named Marge” are on here.  As for the latter:

S: The review “EPISODE ENJOYED BY ALL” speaks for itself.

Did he expect too much from fourth graders?

Lenny & Steve’s Excellent Adventure Through the 100 Best TV Episodes of the Past 20 Years: Part 4 – And this one has “A Fish Called Selma” and “The PTA Disbands”. 

SPOILER ALERT! – I like Titanic, but that’s funny.

April 3: cartoon architecture – Talking about Frank Gehry’s appearance on Zombie Simpsons:

Honestly, it’s not a great episode, but if you’d like to see the Gehry part, you need only watch the first twelve minutes are so


Celebrities are pretty much interchangeable – More heh:

Sitting opposite us at breakfast was Matt Groening, genius behind The Simpsons. He said all cartoonists were also considered interchangeable: “One guy came up to me and said, ‘Hey, you’re a cartoonist? Wow, can you draw Garfield for me?’”

‘The Simpsons’ 9 Best Movie Parodies – This list isn’t what you’d call insightful.  Basically, it just points out things you already knew, like that “Two Dozen and One Greyhounds” took some inspiration from “101 Dalmatians”, but it doesn’t have a whiff of Zombie Simpsons, and for that it deserves a link.

Simpsons Did It – And finally, nice little piece of Zombie Simpsons snark:

Quick, what was Richard Nixon’s middle name? Milhouse. What cat and mouse used to actually blow each other up on Saturday mornings? Tom and Jerry. What clown actually had a live TV show for kids that included variety acts and cartoons? Bozo. Matt Groening and his generation would have taken all of this, and the American nuclear family sitcom – pardon the pun – for granted. Today’s kids have Modern Family, making The Simpsons look increasingly like a time capsule of pop culture and American history.

8 Responses to “Reading Digest: Yup, That Ship Is Still Underwater Edition”

  1. 6 April 2012 at 4:04 pm

    I know, I’m a blasphemer, but the Judge Snyder quote was never among my favorites of Lionel Hutz’. I acknowledge my limitations, though…

    • 2 Charlie Sweatpants
      6 April 2012 at 5:52 pm

      That is mildly blasphemous, but honestly, I just picked one you didn’t use. I actually can’t think of a Hutz line I don’t like.

  2. 6 April 2012 at 8:27 pm

    Thanks for the link, Mr. Sweatpants!

  3. 4 Patrick
    7 April 2012 at 6:47 am

    Ah the $1000 dollar movie of titanic, how i love that scene xD

    • 8 April 2012 at 2:13 am

      Of course the irony of the woman wearing a bikini and complaining it’s too hot in the middle of an iceberg filled ocean.

  4. 6 Chris
    8 April 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Heh, that Frampton thing is cool. I still find his music unlistenably boring, but good on him nonetheless.

  5. 8 Ezra
    14 April 2012 at 8:04 pm

    Being a Roger Corman fan, I’d love it if this movie were real.

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