Archive for April, 2012


Quote of the Day

Two Bad Neighbors4

“That fancy house will never sell.  Nobody who could afford it would want to live in this neighborhood.” – Bart Simpson
“Hey, what’s wrong with this neighborhood?  Big shot!  Too good to buy a house here, snobby?” – Homer Simpson
“Who you talking to, Homer?” – Bart Simpson
“The guy who doesn’t live there.” – Homer Simpson


Underage Sex Shouldn’t Be This Boring

Chalkboard - Beware My Cheating Bart

“Mom, this is a little ahead of schedule, but I need help with my love life.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, my special little guy has a sweetheart.” – Marge Simpson
“I knew it!  Alright Bart, who’s your girlfriend?” – Lisa Simpson
“Mrs. Krabappel.” – Bart Simpson

In what I assume was an unintentional irony, early in “Beware My Cheating Bart”, the writers had Bart say, “Doesn’t anyone realize I’m only ten years old?”.  The episode certainly didn’t, and it managed to be worse than most “Bart gets a girlfriend” stories to boot.  Bart seems to vacillate between being an experienced teenage dater and a little kid, sometimes within the same scene.  One moment he’s happily going down a slide, and then next he’s getting hot and heavy with Shauna (who is herself of indeterminate teenage years).  It would be creepy if it weren’t so dull. 

However, just one oft repeated story wasn’t enough for Zombie Simpsons this week, so they also had Marge and Homer go through a marital spat.  That one got resolved in the most pointless way possible when Marge decorated herself and the bedroom in an island theme, but managed not to notice Bart and Jimbo out the clearly open window.  Again, this would’ve been creepy if it hadn’t been so boring and nonsensical. 

As for the unimaginative Lost parody “Stranded”, I was reminded of their equally insipid Inception parody from a few weeks ago.  Lost has been off the air for two years now, and everyone knew it was going to end in 2010 beforehand, which means that if you still want to parody it, you’d better come up with more than the same tired jokes (nothing makes sense, there’s no resolution, it’s all just empty plot twists) people stopped making two years ago.  The Futurama alien language plug (it reads “watch futurama thursdays at 10”) was the only thing that was even kind of clever. 

The Bill Plympton couch gag was kind of interesting, though it could’ve been half as long and gotten through pretty much the same stuff.  I suppose it’s true that this is better than the usual, but the novelty of having someone else do the opening is starting to wear off.  And speaking of wearing off, Kavner is really having a hard time doing Marge now.  She’s been kinda off for a couple of seasons, but the number of times I’ve thought to myself “wow, that really doesn’t sound like Marge” has been way up since the middle of this season.  She just doesn’t have the same range she used to, which makes it really tough to put much feeling into anything. 

Anyway, the numbers are in and they are absolutely atrocious.  Just 4.86 million viewers briefly lost all interest in sex last night.  That’s the second lowest of all time, displacing “How I Wet Your Mother” in that spot.  Four of the five least watched episodes ever are now from Season 23, and the average viewership this year is below 6.5 million.  Season 22’s was 7.10 million, and there are still at least three episodes to go.  Presumably Lady Gaga will give them a boost at the end of the year (and I’m not looking forward to putting Reading Digest together that week), but even her fame isn’t going to be enough to rescue that average.


Quote of the Day

The Trouble With Trillions2

“Mr. Simpson, this government computer can process over nine tax returns per day.  Did you really think you could fool it?” – IRS Agent
“No, sir.  I’m really sorry, sir.  An older boy told me to do it.” – Homer Simpson


Sunday Preview: Beware My Cheating Bart


Image bloodied by Dave.

No good will come of this:

When Bart is forced to chaperone Jimbo’s girlfriend to a movie, she ends up developing feelings for him, resulting in a whole bunch of trouble with the bullies at school.  Meanwhile, Homer is persuaded to buy a state-of-the-art treadmill, fully equipped with a television.  When Lisa shows Homer that he can access television shows wirelessly, he develops an obsession with watching an old television show from the treadmill, but not actually working out, until Marge decides to intervene.

Since it’s not entirely clear as to which is what, I’m giving 3-2 odds that the thing with Bart and “Jimbo’s girlfriend” (where have you gone, Sara Gilbert?) will actually be the A-plot.  Of course, these days, all that really means is that it’ll occupy slightly more time after the unrelated first segment than the B-plot. 


Quote of the Day

Realty Bites7

“Ooh, I remember.  Mrs. Astor was very lucky.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

Lisa's First Word10

“Now, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, the only houses I have in your price range are in the neighborhood colorfully referred to as The Rat’s Nest.” – Stinking Fish Realty Agent


Reading Digest: Specious Speculation (Swartzwelder) Edition

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily7

This is a much shorter than usual Reading Digest, entirely due to the fact that just about anytime someone punched “Simpsons” into a keyboard this week it was right next to the word “Oregon”, and all of them were equally worthless.  It’s the internet, so I guess you’ve got to take the bad with the good, but that an awful lot of concentrated stupid.  There is still some good, though, including cool fan made stuff (mmm, cupcakes), a fantastically meta YouTube video, and Superintendent Chalmers on the DC Metro.  There’s also two links about John Swartzwelder, one of which debunked a cool but untrue idea about him and Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation, and another that’s just a general fan letter.


[Updated at 1:13pm because I got my drafts confused and left out Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week in the one I originally published.]

Kirk’s Movie Blog: Listorama! My Top 10 Simpsons Episodes (Part One) – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is a two parter that came in via e-mail.  It’s a great list, partly because it’s got no Zombie Simpsons, partly because each entry contains an explanation as well as quotes and a picture, and partly because of this:

Some Simpsons fans have queried whether the second season belongs to the ‘Classic Era’ of the Simpsons, but for me, there can be no question about it.


Kirk’s Movie Blog: Listorama! My Top 10 Simpsons Episodes (Part Two) – Just as good.

Too bad they don’t make a Radiation Queen – This is pure YouTube brilliance:

I don’t miss the crappy picture or the tinny sound, but those old televisions definitely had more personality than the generic black rectangle that most of them are today. 

Is Ron Swanson Based On John Swartzwelder, Legendary ‘Simpsons’ Writer? – Bill Oakley tweeted this yesterday, and there are at least some superficial similarities.  Unfortunately, Oakley also quashed it a few hours later:

Swanson-Swartzwelder Tweet

Oh, well.  It was fun while it lasted. 

Cupcake the Simpson Family – SELLY – This is not in English, and I have no idea what it says.  But these are some of the coolest Simpsons cupcakes I’ve ever seen. 

mattachinereview: [Sideshow Bob, from The… – You’re going to need to be aware of relatively uncommon gender pronouns to get this joke, but I chuckled. 

Laura E. Enriquez: How DREAMers Made Me Reconceptualize My Citizenship – Excellent usage:

To encourage participation we say that every voice counts but we also tend to re-frame the event — Get Out the Vote rallies become concerts, social justice rallies have bands, feature celebrity speakers, or offer food. On The Simpsons, they tried to make jury duty more interesting by framing it as joining the "justice squadron" at the "Municipal Fortress of Vengeance." So maybe citizenship itself is in need of some re-framing so we can increase civic participation and get citizens like myself to appreciate the privileges we are afforded.

I’ve been called for jury duty three times and had to serve on a jury once, and that scene had a smile on my face all the way through orientation. 

Just when you think it can’t get weirder, it does. – Simpsons characters (and others) on parade during a fair in France.

The consolations of poetry: If the foolish call them flowers – Excellent Emily Dickinson usage:

I was first introduced to Emily by way of watching the Simpsons (the same medium by which I discovered Walt Whitman). Lisa follows Bart to military camp and, being the only girl, finds herself in her only lonely quarters: “Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known… then went crazy as a loon.”

Perfectly quoted, well done.

Appointment Viewing: April 9-April 15 – There’s new Zombie Simpsons this Sunday, and Lenny’s got us covered:

8:00 – The Simpsons (Fox): Jimbo’s girlfriend falls for Bart after he’s forced to chaperone her to a movie. School bullies notice, and that’s bad for Bart. Meanwhile, Homer is persuaded to buy an exercise machine, but doesn’t have to be persuaded to use the TV that comes with it. Why would anyone go for Bart over a good-looking rebel who plays by his own rules?

Oh good, another girl falls for Bart.  This needs to stop happening so much. 

Distorted Marge Simpson t-shirt at Red Bubble – That is a fantastic idea, but do you get $2 off because it got smeared?

Alex Rocco talks about Magic City, The Godfather and more – Heh:

The Simpsons (1990-1997)—“Roger Meyers Jr.”
AR: Yeah, what’d I do, about six or seven of those? I did a series for Jim Brooks, for Gracie Films, called Sibs. That was a really good show. Marsha Mason was my wife. And because I’m with that family, pretty soon Jim Brooks says, “Play this.” And it’s kind of fun being the owner of Itchy and Scratchy.

AVC: Do you enjoy the opportunity to do voice work on occasion?

AR: Yeah. It really is fun, because you can go in shorts and a beard, you read off a piece of paper, and you’re done. It’s like stealing money. [Laughs.]

There’s another reason Zombie Simpsons sucks, no Roger Meyers Jr. 

Simpsons Runway Style Fashion Shopping Guide – To call this pageview whoring would be a gross understatement, but some people at GQ went through a ton of episodes and found real life men’s fashions that look like things on the show.  I clicked through all 36 of them (18 Simpsons screen grabs, each followed by some blank faced, real life model), and while I make no claim as to the clothes, they at least had relatively good taste in episodes.  I didn’t see anything past Season 10. 

The Three Stooges Movie…In 10 Words – Moe is their leader. 

marge simpson – Cool, minimalist fan made image for Marge. 

SQ Drawings: Bart Simpson & Family – Fan made pencil/colored pencil poster of Bart done by a guy for his son’s bedroom.  Cool, though Bart does appear to have five fingers. 

Metro Confirms That the Resurrection Is ‘Not a Standard Announcement’ – An employee of the DC Metro got on the PA on Sunday and delivered a little Easter sermon, which prompted this:

But Flanders quickly runs afoul of public-school decorum when he attempts to "thank the Lord" over the public-address system. Superintendent Chalmers becomes irate, fuming that in a public school, "God has no place in these walls, just as facts have no place in organized religion." Flanders is fired on the spot.

It’s wonderfully apt, though Chalmers actually says “within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion.”  Still, those are minor, so I’m still calling it excellent usage.

Bart Simpson Rag Doll (NEW) – Old school crappy merchandise still in its original packaging. 

WHO WOULDN’T? – Animated .gif of Homer showing off his new chainsaw and hockey mask.

From Duluth to the world – Hopefully this will be on a Behind the Music type show one day:

They also reminisced about the band’s early days just up the hill from the auditorium. Like their very first official band rehearsal in 2003.

"It was a Sunday, and we were supposed to meet at 7 p.m.," Carroll recalled. "We called each other and were like, ‘Dude, "The Simpsons" are on, so … 7:30?’"

Who’s Awesome #6 – Some love for John Swartzwelder that is unrelated to the brief Ran Swanson speculation agrees with us:

The period of the Simpsons that I pay attention to is seasons 3-9. Other than those seasons, very rarely keep watching. Swartzwelder was in his prime then.

Amen.  And . . . charge!


Quote of the Day

Fear of Flying8

“Well, everybody’s got a fear of something.” – Marge Simpson
“Not everybody.” – Homer Simpson
“Sock puppets.” – Marge Simpson
“Where?  Where?  Ah!  Ahhh!” – Homer Simpson


Who Gives a Shit “Where” Springfield Is?

Much Apu About Nothing7

“Now, they may ask you to locate your town on a map of the US.  So, let’s do that . . . uh, Springfield, Springfield . . . um, right here.” – Homer Simpson
“Dad, you’re not pointing anywhere near Springfield.” – Lisa Simpson

When I saw my Twitter and inbox begin to go bonkers because Groening apparently said the “real” Springfield is the one in Oregon, I thought “huh” and made a note of it for Reading Digest.  Then it kept going, literally every item in my Google Alert for “The Simpsons” was related to it, and I even saw this story on the home page of BBC news:

Matt Groening told Smithsonian magazine he based the town on Springfield, Oregon, but since it is such a common US place name he knew many would think it was their own Springfield.

The Springfield question is one of the best-kept secrets in TV history.

First of all, it’s not a secret.  It’s a joke.  It doesn’t have a location – that’s the whole point – which is why I’ve always been a little puzzled about how worked up people get over this transparently silly topic. 

On one level, this is just another example of the internet acting as the world’s most exponential game of telephone.  Groening says something relatively innocuous and, five removes later, “Springfield is in Oregon, purple monkey dishwasher” is rocketing around the globe while strangers get into flame wars and Twitter fights that boil down to little more than cycles of “nuh-uh” and “yea-huh”. 

But beyond that artifact of modern communications, what causes this much excitement and interest in something that amounts to nothing?  And I don’t mean that rhetorically, I genuinely don’t get it.  I understand the fun in having irresolvable arguments about unanswerable things like, say, who was the best soccer player ever, or what the greatest movie in history is.  It’s the reason the internet is lousy with lists that rank everything from books and rock stars to cooking shows and lists themselves.  The human brain is wired to categorize and prioritize things, and we take to it the way ducks take to water.  But why all the excitement over the obviously nonsense location of a fictional town? 

The best I can come up with is that beyond just something to talk about, it’s a need to know everything about a topic, to have a resolution, as though not knowing for sure is some kind of mental canker sore that you just can’t keep your brain from fooling around with.  But even that doesn’t make sense because they’ve said, on multiple occasions, that Springfield is nowhere.  You already have an answer, one that is far more logically consistent than any specific location. 

So, yeah, I don’t get it.  Does anyone here either care about this, or understand why other people care?  Because, in the immortal words of Dr. Hibbert, this thing has be buffaloed. 

(Oh, in case anyone is interested, here’s a nice debunking of this whole thing, via our old friends Denise and Karma.)


Quote of the Day

Dead Putting Society4

“Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad, and I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

The Last Temptation of Homer5

“Tonight, Eye on Springfield takes a look at the secret affairs of Kennedy, Eisenhower, Bush and Clinton.  Did fooling around on their wives make them great?  We’ll find out next, when we play Hail to the Cheat.” – Kent Brockman


“Itchy & Scratchy & Marge” Spews Truth

Itchy and Scratchy and Marge8

“I’ve started a crusade against cartoon violence.  I can protect my own children, but there are many others whose minds are being warped every afternoon at four.” – Marge Simpson
“That reminds me, I gotta get over to Milhouse’s and . . . play sports.” – Bart Simpson
“Alright.” – Marge Simpson
“And I’m going over to Janie’s again.  We’re going to be, um, making the most of our childhood years.” – Lisa Simpson
Have Fun!” – Marge Simpson
We will.” – Bart and Lisa Simpson

They talk quite a bit about this idea near the end, but “Itchy & Scratchy & Marge” has always been one of the premier examples of the way the show could be funny about every aspect of something.  They are a violent cartoon show, but they’re still able to make violent cartoon shows look bad. 

Four guys on this one, Groening, Jean, Reiss, and Jim Reardon. 

0:35 – Reiss notes that Swartzwelder loves Itchy & Scratchy.

1:00 – Groening recounts how when he was a kid he and his friends would fantasize about what an ultraviolent version of Tom & Jerry would look like.  This leads to him introducing Reardon by pointing out that one of the reasons Reardon was hired was because of a short film he made.

1:15 – Reardon picks up the tale of a student film he made called “Bring me the Head of Charlie Brown”, which is funny and ends with, “I got a reputation for doing violent cartoons, which served me well in this episode.”

2:25 – Reiss briefly mentions Herman & Katnip as a truly terrible Tom & Jerry knockoff.

2:40 – Jean points out that they had a running theme in the early years of Homer being an incredibly bad workman, nothing he produces is any good (he cites the soapbox derby racer and the BBQ pit).  Too bad these days he’s instantly good at everything.

3:00 – As Maggie goes Psycho on Homer, Reiss mentions how great it was that VCRs existed then, because they could go back and get the scenes right.

3:05 – They all crack up as Maggie hops away.

3:35 – Groening laughs and declares it his favorite moment as Marge wonders where Maggie got the idea as she puts her down right in front of the television.

4:15 – Irony alert.  Groening was talking about how they get fan mail asking for Itchy & Scratchy to get their own series, and he had a demo reel of nothing but their cartoons that he’d show to people, but that they’d get numb after about a minute and a half.  This prompts Jean to joke that through ten years there probably wasn’t twenty minutes of actual footage because they’re “incredibly quick”.  Of course, the last two or three seasons, when they do have Itchy & Scratchy, it’s always some forty-five second long movie remake.

5:10 – Since this was Reardon’s first episode, he remembers that they were at the Christmas party when the FOX satellite went on the fritz and the whole west coast missed the first act, so nobody saw his name on the credits.  Aww.

5:40 – They’re laughing at Swartzwelder having Scratchy’s “bombs for eyes” actually work as eyes, and then Groening cracks up at “Dogs Tricked” on Marge’s list of violent acts.

6:15 – When the nerdy looking animator throws Marge’s letter over his shoulder and into the wastebasket, Reiss asks if that’s Reardon.  Apparently it’s a guy named Eddie who used to work with Sam Simon.

6:30 – As Alex Rocco appears to dictate the letter, Reardon jokes that they tried to find a way to get his eye shot out, but they couldn’t “fit it in”.  They would’ve found one these days, methinks.

6:50 – Joking around about the fact that there’s an Itchy & Scratchy on Ice poster in Meyers’ office, and then they actually did do a Simpsons on Ice.  Groening wrote the script and got paid in pinball machines.

7:30 – Reardon notes that all the picket signs are a pain because you’ve got to keep the lettering from bouncing up and down.

8:20 – Laughing at Moe’s sign to “Bring Back ‘Wagon Train’”.

9:20 – They’re just sort of quietly giggling at the episode, with compliments here for Castellaneta’s Krusty.

10:15 – When another animator appears on screen, Jean guesses that it’s supposed to be Rich Moore, but they all kinda look the same and nobody even responds.

11:00 – Reiss laughs that if anyone should understand who the squirrel is supposed to be, it would be Homer, and yet it “goes right by him”.

11:20 – Reiss asks Jean if they were going to get O.J. Simpson for the Smartline panel, but that was going to be for “Last Exit to Springfield” where they got Dr. Joyce Brothers instead.

12:00 – Again, they’re just quietly watching and laughing.  Maybe I’m projecting, but it sure seems like they enjoy watching these episodes a lot more than the Zombie Simpsons ones.

13:00 – Minor animation goof pointed out by Rich Moore when “Live From Vienna” pops up under Dr. Marvin Monroe from one shot to the next.  It must be at least kinda frustrating to have gone through every frame of this a decade earlier, then have to see it all again when you’re far enough removed from it to spot all the little mistakes.

13:20 – As Monroe makes an ass of himself, Jean laughs about how they never had much use for psychiatry.

14:20 – Reiss asks about the shot with all the mail trucks backed up, if it was sort of from Field of Dreams.  Jean deadpans, “Yeah, why not?”.  As usual, I can’t do his delivery justice.

14:35 – Reardon says that this scene where the cartoon gets edited was near to his heart because he always hated it when the Saturday morning cartoons would get half their punchlines edited out.

15:15 – Groening compliments the way the animators look here because they’re not overly elaborate.  In other words, they don’t look like any more time was taken on them than on anyone else.

16:40 – Again, I may be projecting, but you almost can’t count the number of times someone says “I always liked this” or “We love this” on these old commentaries.  Similarly, none of the silences are broken by someone talking for the sake of talking, it’s always about the episode.

17:15 – Groening loves the montage because it’s a satirical point that’s the opposite of what they believe.  They don’t actually think everything would be Norman Rockwell if cartoons were banned, but they did it anyway because it’s funny and the cartoons here are getting made fun of just as much as the censorship.  Things like this really are what made the show so damn good.

17:30 – They’re complimenting the pastoral montage, and Reiss cracks up recalling that Brooks had wanted it to end with everyone happy like this and Itchy & Scratchy banned.

18:00 – The Beethoven was in Swartzwelder’s script, it wasn’t a later addition.

18:45 – Jean notes that Bart’s line about building a soapbox racer was the genesis for next season’s episode where that happened, and how they often combed over old episodes to find new ideas.  Reiss mentions that Skinner’s line about seeing some awful things in ’Nam was kind of the same way.  Afterwards, they just kept coming up with more.

19:30 – Reardon’s favorite joke is the newspaper headline that reads “Michelangelo’s David in 1958”.  That is a great joke.

20:20 – Jean recalls having seen a picture of a David statue in Florida that really did have marble pants on it.

20:35 – Reiss jokes that “Scratchy’s the cat, by the way”.  They could only remember because “Scratchy” has the word “cat” in it.

22:10 – And we end with Jean joking that at least they didn’t have to pay old Ludwig any royalties.


Quote of the Day

Lisa the Vegetarian6

“Hey, Homer . . . wing me another one of them, ah . . . burgers, would you?  Can’t quite seem to . . . stand up under my own power anymore.” – Chief Wiggum


Bonus Quote of the Day

Black Widower7

“Oh, would you two knock it off?  I hate all the programs Marge likes, but it’s no big deal.  You know why?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Selma Bouvier
“Go on.” – Sideshow Bob
“Whenever Marge puts on one of her non-violent programs, I take a walk, I go to a bar, I pound a few, and I stumble home in the mood for love.” – Homer Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Black Widower”!  Original airdate 9 April 1992.


Quote of the Day

The Springfield Connection7

“Are you really allowed to execute people at a local jail?” – Hans Moleman
“From this point on, no talking.” – Reverend Lovejoy


Quote of the Day

Bart's Girlfriend8

“Bart, Lisa, time for church!” – Marge Simpson
“Milhouse, time for church!” – Luann van Houten
“Shlomo, time for your violin lesson!” – Jewish Guy


Quote of the Day

Homer's Triple Bypass5

“Now, what you see here is the radioactive dye we injected flowing through your husband’s circulatory system.” – Dr. Hibbert
“But doctor, I haven’t injected the dye yet!” – Nurse
“Good Lord.” – Dr. Hibbert


Reading Digest: Yup, That Ship Is Still Underwater Edition

Roger Corman's Titanic

“And now, the conclusion of our thousand dollar movie, Roger Corman’s ‘Titanic’.” – TV Announcer
“We’re safe now, Clarice.  We made it away from that cursed ship.” – B-Movie Guy
“Now I can relax and take off this stifling bikini.” – B-Movie Gal

Next Sunday is the hundredth anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic.  Since there’s apparently some money out there that he still doesn’t have, James Cameron will be re-releasing his movie of the same name.  This prompted two links, one of which may be the only time in the coming hundred years that I say something nice about E!.  In addition to that, we’ve got lots of excellent usage, a list of potential Simpsons spinoffs, several fan made drawings, and a refined epicurean’s guide to beer and donuts.


The Audacious Epigone: Ranking The Simpsons seasons – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is someone who agrees with us, and went through the IMDb ratings to prove it.  We’ve done the same, and it’s nice to see confirmation. 

Best of Geekery: Top 10 Potential Simpsons Spin-Offs – Exactly what it says.  I would definitely watch “Future Maggie in High School”.

Shakespearean fools: Their modern equivalents – The BBC compares Homer to Dogberry in “Much Ado About Nothing”.  (via)

Bart’s Complex House of Mirrors – Very cool fan made image of Bart and Homer (who has hair for some reason). 

All My Simpsons: Lionel Hutz – A slew of great Hutz quotes that is shockingly missing the one about Judge Snyder.

Frampton, Omaha fans love your way – Here’s why you have to be creative with celebrity guests:

A lot of laughs came in the middle of "Do You Feel Like We Do." After dozens of photos moved across a video screen behind Frampton, a clip played from the "Homerpalooza" episode of "The Simpsons" that features him. The bit involves him trying to launch an inflatable pig into the crowd by stomping on a pedal labeled "PIG."

A member of Frampton’s crew placed a "PIG" pedal onstage and he held it up and said "Where’s my pig?" while the video played.

Frampton only has a few lines in that episode, but he still gets to do and say things that are memorable and funny.  Most guests these days just show up and say their names.  Frampton has something that people still recognize a decade and a half later. 

Marge Simpson teasing mr. Burns by ~kuroishin on deviantART – Great fan art that almost looks like a discarded idea from “Marge Gets a Job”. 

Feminist Reading of “The Simpsons” – Collegiate essay that sadly cites two Zombie Simpsons episodes instead of far more interesting offerings like “Marge on the Lam”, “Principal Charming”, “Lisa the Beauty Queen” and, of course, “Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”. 

You Are What You Wear – Science sez: the clothes you wear have a psychological effect on you.  However obvious that may seem, there is this:

The concept for the research stemmed from an episode of  “The Simpsons.”

The episode featured a group of children in gray uniforms who were very quiet. After a rainstorm came and washed the clothing into color, their behaviors changed.

“[I] started thinking about how the clothes you wear and the meaning” behind those clothes, Galinsky said. “If you put on a black T-shirt, you become more aggressive. You put on a nurse’s uniform, you become more helpful.”

Homer Simpson Delight: Pairing Donuts and Beer – Which kinds of beer go best with which donuts?  This handy guide has you covered. 

Movie Review: Titanic 3D’s Impressive Effects Do the Epic Story Justice…for the Most Part – Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut:

The best 3-D enhancements include any scenes where somebody looks over the deck—Rose’s suicide attempt, for example, or the now-infamous "King of the World" scene (does anyone else remember that, in fact, The Simpsons did that first in the 1990 episode "Bart the Daredevil"?).

Well done, E-online.  Now please go back to sucking, otherwise I might have to start taking you seriously. 

Let’s talk about sex, baby – Excellent usage:

There was a time, not too long ago, when the mere mention of the word "sex" had me cringing in my seat, cautious of what was about to happen on screen. Naturally, I’m talking about an episode of The Simpsons from 1995.

The episode was titled The Last Temptation of Homer, and it featured Homer Simpson contemplating whether to start an affair with co-worker Mindy (voiced by Michelle Pfeiffer)*; late in the episode, the pair go to a hotel room and Homer starts crying. Mindy asks what is wrong. "Oh, yeah, like you don’t know," cries Homer. "We’re gonna have sex!"

Perfectly quoted, and bonus points for that slightly lusty look Timothy Olyphant is giving Ian McShane in that Deadwood picture.

Technology: Helping you get a useless education faster! – More excellent usage:

In a classic episode of The Simpsons, Homer changes his name to “Max Power” and declares to Bart and Lisa, “Kids, there’s three ways to do thingsT the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way!” Bart asks, “Isn’t that the wrong way?” And Homer replies, “Yeah, but faster!”

The belief that using the Internet to teach the same old college material will magically fix higher education is the equivalent of believing in the Max Power way — “Let’s keep doing education wrong, but faster!”

I wouldn’t call that episode a classic, but that is a great line.

Simpsons Nuclear Street Art in Chernobyl – YouTube from Chernobyl of that Simpsons mural from last week.

Team Retrospective: Denver Broncos – The Broncos are worth approximately a billion ($1,000,000,000) dollars, won back-to-back Super Bowls not that long ago, and just signed a four time MVP as their quarterback.  Nevertheless, Homer once said they suck, and so they shall suck forever.  Excellent usage.

Mad Men…In 10 Words – Without it we’d have had no fun since March of 1961!

Funk Dance 101 – YouTube of Moe’s dancing/shotgun lesson.

04.01.12 Danny Elfman and…well…Danny Elfman! – Lots of links for various Elfman projects.

Arranged – Photographic proof that they don’t just sell Duff the beer in England, they also sell Duff the energy drink.

Ulster Unionists’ Mr Burns should take a look at Rab C Nesbitt – A lengthy (and somewhat inaccurate) comparison of Burns’ run for governor with some Irish politician who said he should maybe spend some time with poor people to get to know them. 

100 Best Comedy Characters Currently On Television (10-1) – And the list concludes with Homer falling just short at #2.

Stupid Sexy Flanders! – The animated .gif.

Friday March 23 2012 | The CatBeard Project – A fan made Scratchy looking cat with a cat pirate hat and cat pirate uniform. 

Quote Hanger – Homer Simpson on the movie that made Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock stars, though he says “it would explode”, not “the bus would explode”. 

Santa’s Little Helper Doodle, AKA. Woof Woof! – Very accurate fan sketch of Santa’s Little Helper.

Modern Gentlemen … – YouTube of Homer’s most famous alcohol quote.

Draw Something With Kirk Van Houten – How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters?

‘The Big Lebowski’: A cloud of weed descends on Jason Reitman’s live-read – It’s always good to have someone on hand who can do a shitload of impressions:

Another slight hitch came just moments later, as Reitman read the stage direction about The Dude, writing out a check for .69 cents in a grocery story, seeing a clip of then-President George H.W. Bush on television. A long pause followed. “Oh, we never assigned that to anybody!”

Hank Azaria jumped in to rescue, with a quavering impression of our 41st president slamming Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait with, “This aggression will not stand, this … this will not stand.” Azaria, an infinite supply of voices on The Simpsons, was also playing the pornstar nihilist Karl Hungus, Steve Buscemi’s Donny, and the private eye Da Fino — doing an incredibly spot-on imitation of character actor Jon Polito (which is an unusual impression to have in one’s repertoire.)

"Lisa Simpson is my president" – At an anti-war protest a few years ago, someone got a great picture of a sign that says “Lisa Simpson Is My President” in front of the White House.  The only odd thing is that the image is of her wearing a Movementarian uniform.  (via)

ObscureSimpsonsQuotes – Someone on Vimeo has been putting up, as the user name would imply, “obscure” Simpsons quotes.  No doubt the fun police will be along at some point, because watching five second clips will naturally destroy someone’s urge to buy a DVD.  In the meantime, enjoy.

The Weekly Listicle: Will Find Weaker Listicles And Attack – A list of famous bullies includes Nelson alongside the likes of Biff Tannen and Rachel McAdams from Mean Girls.

Simpsons Sums Up: Adventure Time – Heh.

Tele-Tuesday: A Pick Per Night 2012, The Funny Results – A fan poll result:

Reader’s Choice:  Family Guy came in first with 30% of the reader’s vote, with The Simpsons following close behind with 26%.  Is anyone else with us who can’t believe The Simpsons is still on air, airing new episodes?  How many seasons is this?  CRAZY!

Yeah, Zombie Simpsons sucks.

Lenny & Steve’s Excellent Adventure Through the 100 Best TV Episodes of the Past 20 Years: Part 3 – “Lisa’s First Word” and “A Streetcar Named Marge” are on here.  As for the latter:

S: The review “EPISODE ENJOYED BY ALL” speaks for itself.

Did he expect too much from fourth graders?

Lenny & Steve’s Excellent Adventure Through the 100 Best TV Episodes of the Past 20 Years: Part 4 – And this one has “A Fish Called Selma” and “The PTA Disbands”. 

SPOILER ALERT! – I like Titanic, but that’s funny.

April 3: cartoon architecture – Talking about Frank Gehry’s appearance on Zombie Simpsons:

Honestly, it’s not a great episode, but if you’d like to see the Gehry part, you need only watch the first twelve minutes are so


Celebrities are pretty much interchangeable – More heh:

Sitting opposite us at breakfast was Matt Groening, genius behind The Simpsons. He said all cartoonists were also considered interchangeable: “One guy came up to me and said, ‘Hey, you’re a cartoonist? Wow, can you draw Garfield for me?’”

‘The Simpsons’ 9 Best Movie Parodies – This list isn’t what you’d call insightful.  Basically, it just points out things you already knew, like that “Two Dozen and One Greyhounds” took some inspiration from “101 Dalmatians”, but it doesn’t have a whiff of Zombie Simpsons, and for that it deserves a link.

Simpsons Did It – And finally, nice little piece of Zombie Simpsons snark:

Quick, what was Richard Nixon’s middle name? Milhouse. What cat and mouse used to actually blow each other up on Saturday mornings? Tom and Jerry. What clown actually had a live TV show for kids that included variety acts and cartoons? Bozo. Matt Groening and his generation would have taken all of this, and the American nuclear family sitcom – pardon the pun – for granted. Today’s kids have Modern Family, making The Simpsons look increasingly like a time capsule of pop culture and American history.


Quote of the Day

Homer's Phobia5

“Deer?  Ha!  Not around here!  They all migrated north when the state park converted to astroturf.” – John


“New Kid On the Block” Spews Truth

New Kid on the Block10

“She’s beautiful.  Say something clever.” – Bart’s Brain
“I fell on my bottom.” – Bart Simpson
“D’oh!” – Bart’s Brain

This commentary is mildly annoying in that it’s basically a bunch of guys congratulating each other on being awesome.  On the other hand, all of them are fantastically funny, so not only is it fun to hear, but they’re self aware enough to keep it entertaining.  They only occasionally talk about the episode, but unlike when that happens on Zombie Simpsons commentaries, here it’s not them avoiding what’s happening so much as it is them clowning around about things they actually want to laugh about. 

Just five guys here, and it’s a murderer’s row: Jean, Reiss, Groening, Silverman and Conan O’Brien.

0:45 – Joking about how they brought O’Brien in as a replacement, they mention that the two guys they wanted before him went on to create Martin and NewsRadio.  The guy they settled on turned out to be a fantastically accomplished late night host.  The talent density of this show cannot be overstated. 

1:15 – They’re joking that for O’Brien’s first three weeks at the show, they made him do nothing but rewrites and never let him out of the office.  O’Brien, who’s usually talk-show peppy on these kind of things just says, “Yeah”, in a genuinely defeated voice. 

2:30 – Jean: “For some reason, we had a Sylvester Stallone hand puppet.”  Of course they did. 

3:30 – The previous comment got O’Brien started about what a comedy weirdo he is.  It’s still happening.

4:15 – The B-plot was originally going to be Homer in court for hitting Don Rickles after being insulted at a show.  It died when Rickles passed on doing the voice.  Bullet?  Dodged. 

4:40 – Groening was at a FOX event where Rickles was introduced to him by Rupert fucking Murdoch, and Rickles was apparently seriously pissed about the script.  He thought they were stealing his act.

5:45 – Reiss points out that they’ve always kinda had trouble with “older people” as guest voices.

7:00 – Third hand performance advice: O’Brien had Jerry Lewis tell him something that Stan Laurel had told him: “Tell the audience what you’re going to do, then do it, but then tell them it has been done.” 

7:20 – Jean follows up by joking that he got the same advice from Johnny Carson, but his conclusion was, “Tell them what you did.” 

8:05 – Amid further discussion of late night comedy tips, someone (might be Reiss) asks, “Why does this Afghani have horns?”:

New Kid on the Block9

Heh.  I never noticed that before.

9:30 – They’re discussing the origin of this B-plot, and a failed story they ditched (O’Brien says “threw it out.”).  What did they throw out?  A story about Homer being a talented hair dresser.  Simon apparently killed it.  Fuck you, Zombie Simpsons

10:30 – O’Brien starts telling a story about a script he had to rewrite, but stops when he doesn’t want to out the writers, so he saves it by saying that it was something that “Mike and Al” wrote and it was crap.  Jean, always on his game, retorts “You’ll have to be more specific”.  I hate Zombie Simpsons, but I love Al Jean.

11:00 – Changing the subject, they try to get O’Brien talking about Wes Archer’s direction or Sara Gilbert’s guest voice.  Then they all crack up when Lionel Hutz calls Homer the greatest hero in American history. 

11:25 – This needs to be quoted in full (from when Bart gets to the old folks home and the old Jewish guy acts out because he’s desperate for attention): “Derogatory reference to old person, that’s Conan O’Brien.  Look at him, he’s got no mind.  He’s wasting a young person’s time.  He’s serving no function, and he’s led away."

11:45 – Jean and O’Brien joking about how they used to give shitty assignments to O’Brien.

13:00 – Mild giggling at Homer’s quote about a woman being a lot like a refrigerator.

13:20 – Jean jokes about Oakley and Weinstein having to read “The Plague” by Albert Camus for an episode, which leads O’Brien to joke that there are a bunch of “skulls and femurs” at his feet.  I’ve never been this entertained by a commentary that ignores the episode.

14:45 – They’re cracking about how bad television is, and I really can’t do it justice.  And while I’m certainly not an unbiased observer, the tone of this is much more relaxed (and funny) than when they wander off the reservation when some Season 13 episode falls apart.  Here it sounds like they’re just having a good time rather than trying to fill space.

15:15 – Apparently the idea of Bart telling Moe that he was Jimbo to get Moe to come over came from James L. Brooks.

16:30 – O’Brien goes off on a long and somewhat meandering speech about how people get fewer and fewer references as time goes on.  It all ends it Al Jean saying, “Lisa loves Roy Cohn!”.  Again, words fail to convey how funny it actually is.

18:00 – “Jub Jub”, a vocal history.

19:00 – They’re just cutting up now.  O’Brien just joked, “I had a lot of bad ideas.” 

19:15 – Laughing at Barney drinking beer out of the ashtray.

19:45 – In yet another thing that doesn’t translate well to type, O’Brien cracks everyone up by describing how unfair it is that Jimbo gets branded a coward because a knife wielding maniac interrupts his innocent teenage makeout session. 

20:30 – Now they’re just laughing at the way people ask who wrote what line.  Jean jokes that he only writes for Ralph and they all crack up.  This is a much more relaxed Al Jean than you find on later season commentaries where he has to carry the whole load.  Here he gets to just be one of the guys, and he sounds like he’s having a much better time.  

21:30 – And we end with more banter and O’Brien being generally charming. 


deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

Twitter Updates

The Mob Has Spoken

Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Ah Hee Hee Hee on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Ezra Estephan on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch

Subscribe to Our Newsletter


Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.