Information Wants to Be Free

Dead Putting Society5

“Lisa, we can’t afford all these books.” – Bart Simpson
“Bart, we’re just gonna borrow them.” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, heh heh, gotcha.” – Bart Simpson

All the chapters of “Zombie Simpsons: How the Best Show Ever Became the Broadcasting Undead” are now on-line.  You can read the whole thing from start to finish for the impressive cost of absolutely nothing.  Of course, if you want to feel really good about yourself as a Simpsons fan, you can still buy it at Amazon for just $2.99.  Just click the purchase button and your brain will release some more endorphins.

Special thanks to everyone who has e-mailed or commented to point out my various mistakes in the text; please let me know if you find more.  Once I’ve got all the known errors corrected, I’ll put up a PDF version as well as a non-Kindle e-reader one.

3 Responses to “Information Wants to Be Free”

  1. 31 May 2012 at 6:49 pm

    Some other shows I would like to see given this treatment:

    E.R: It was a fast-paced, action-packed show with lots of excitement for maybe five years, I do not remember exactly how long, but in its far too many later years; it was a dull soap opera with an incredibly slow pace. I think the guy who played the ugly bald doctor was the necromancer in this case: The show started to collapse slightly before he took control, if I remember correctly, but really turned to shit once he got behind the camera. It got a little better after he was demoted and hopefully tortured. I would honestly be interested in a documentary showing exactly how this happened.

    Millenium: Its first season was the perfect complement to my favorite television show, the X-Files: It had plenty of bloody action, tension, excitement, an intriguing mystery, a weird, trippy style and nice characters. They were the perfect shows for all ages. Its second season was about as action-packed, tense, exciting, bloody and smart as Sesame Street, and without any of the weirdness or style. It was so incredibly bastardized and censored that no one of any age could enjoy it. Its third season was a little more tolerable, but still dull and unsatisfying.

    N.B.C, as I explained in the comments on the post where the writers threatened to stop commenting on episodes.

    N.Y.P.D. Blue and All in the Family, both classics that were defined by their sociopathic characters. They stopped being enjoyable when the characters became sympathetic and friendly–imagine how boring House would be if the namesake turned into Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, but a thousand times worse.

    Daily Show: John Stewart is an unfunny, annoying hack who uses stupid noises and aggressiveness to distract the audience from his incompetence, just like Dane Cook. Craig Kilbourne was much better, and his version of the show had a lot more side segments that provided some extra humor between the news commentary. Stewart took out everything that differentiated the show from Weekend Update, and not the good years of Saturday Night Live. Stephen Colbert and his show are far funnier than this show ever was, even at Kilbourne’s peak. I wish that show was an hour long and this one would die.

    Saturday Night Live: It stopped when certain murderer became a really boring and lame source of a complete lack of humor, making the writers realize they could repeat lame, unfunny jokes endlessly and still succeed. Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Tracy Morgan, etc. are not funny: If they were, 30 Rock might be slightly less of an intolerable, unfunny, jokeless, characterless copy of the classic Just Shoot Me.

    Drew Carey: It was a fun sitcom with a lot of charm and style and no little brats to annoy the audience–until the last few years, which made Zombie Simpsons look like old Simpsons.

    • 2 Patrick
      4 June 2012 at 6:36 pm

      This also needs to be done with MTV, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, History Channel and Pokemon.

  2. 3 JonnyStoppard
    2 June 2012 at 1:49 am

    I respect how Monty Python Forever managed to capture all of his TV-related grievances is one post. Once I get sober (“are you on your third beer of the evening..”) I SWEAR I’ll do something similar. I just gotta find my pants first

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