Reading Digest: Crack Smoking Mayor Edition

The Curse of the Flying Hellfish6

“Fernando, it’s M.B.” – C.M. Burns
“Ah, Marion Barry, is it time for another shipment already?” – Fernando Vidal
This is Montgomery Burns!” – C.M. Burns
Oh, caramba.” – Fernando Vidal

The weather has turned nice, people are having fun outdoors, and Zombie Simpsons won’t blight anyone’s television for months; it must be Memorial Day weekend, the semi-official start of summer time.  To celebrate, albeit a bit early, Toronto’s mayor smoked rock and got filmed doing it.  But, oh, Canada, we were ahead of you on that, and The Simpsons made fun of it to boot.  In addition, we’ve got a wonderfully random assortment of links this week, with a great new Tumblr (don’t fuck this up like you fuck everything else up, Yahoo), an official update to the Simpsons ride in Floreda, some more links about the money pit game, and a great variety of fan made stuff, from nail art to a web comic to some good, old fashioned photoshop. 


springfeeled – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this relatively short Tumblr with nothing but weird Simpsons .gifs.  Skinner demanding the kids knock it off from “Bart the Lover” and the listless teenagers from “Homerpalooza” are my favorites, but to each their shimmery own.  (Thanks to reader y o for sending this in.)

The Simpsons | PixlBurger – This is a webcomic, one of the panes says “everything you need to know about western popular culture is contained entirely in these sacred volumes”.  Yup.

The Simpsons Monorail Song meets the Walt Disney World’s Monorail System – YouTube of exactly what it says.  Great idea.

The Internet – Simpsons Did It! – How totally has the show won pop culture?  It’s the title of this rather awesome meme drawing.  All will kneel trembling before The Simpsons

U.K.’s Miliband Likens RBS Fallout to Simpsons’ Nuclear Villain – Aw, he wants to be Prime Minister so bad:

The leader of the U.K. opposition Labour Party, Ed Miliband, compared Royal Bank of Scotland Plc to the Simpsons’ nuclear-plant owning Montgomery Burns, saying the bank practiced “irresponsible capitalism.”

Speaking today at a conference organized by Google Inc. north of London, Miliband showed a picture of the cartoon villain to illustrate a speech about business practices.

“He’s not such a good guy, he leaves radioactive nuggets lying around,” Miliband said of Burns. “Of course, he is a cartoon character, but I could have substituted him with RBS or some of the other big banks before the financial crash.”

‘Angry Birds’ Movie Gets ‘Simpsons’ & ‘King of the Hill’ Screenwriter – Jon Vitti has been tapped to write the script for the Angry Birds movie.  That is all.

The Simpsons Review: Doubly Dull – This is a pretty scathing review (“Season 24 comes to close not with a bang, but a very long whimper”) of the double episode finale on Sunday, and yet . . .

Editor Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

One wonders what Zombie Simpsons would have to do to earn a 1.0 (or, more appropriately, a 0.0). 

Indeed a Disturbing Universe: My Time with The Simpsons Tapped Out – A very detailed breakdown of the new cash cow, that contains this trenchant insight:

Normal people hate freemium games because they have a basic understanding of what constitutes “evil” in our modern world, and also because getting six requests a day to build fake burger restaurants with your aunt is a torture no human being should ever have to experience again.

That’s about the size of it.

The Simpsons Heads Nails – Excellent Simpsons nail art, with instructions.  Homer and Maggie are especially good.

Weekly Inspiration 5/19 + Updates – Great fan art of Flanders at the Leftorium. 

Inflation secrets of the TV families – BBC tries to calculate how much inflation would’ve affected certain TV families:

In Call of the Simpsons we learn that he earns $27 a week less than Ned Flanders does in his job in the pharmaceutical industry, but that is little help.

Quoting a specific dollar amount from a 1990 episode, at the very least they did their research.

Movie References You Didn’t Get On Simpsons – There’s only one from Zombie Simpsons on here.  (Thanks to the Nostalgia Blog!)

Rob Ford, crack cocaine: Simpsons mayor Diamond Joe Quimby or Toronto mayor Rob Ford: Who said it? – Ah, RF, time for another shipment already? 

How the IRS scandal is like ‘The Simpsons’ – Basically because, you know, everyone is saying “I didn’t do it”.  That’s the kind of hard hitting analysis I expect from Kaplan Test Prep Daily.

THE HANGOVER PART III (15, 100 mins) – Speaking of apt if somewhat obvious usage:

In a 1997 episode of The Simpsons, rotund patriarch Homer stood before the residents of Springfield with a glass of cold beer and encouraged his neighbours to join him in a toast.

“To alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems,” he professed.

Director Todd Phillips has been drinking from the same barrel as Homer since 2009 when his booze-fuelled bender The Hangover became an unexpected smash hit and snagged a coveted Golden Globe as Best Comedy.

Universal Orlando Springfield: Universal Orlando to add restaurants and shops based on The Simpsons – Well, it’s official, all that construction is exactly what people thought it was going to be:

The area, which will be named "Springfield" after the town in which "The Simpsons" is set, is being built alongside the existing Simpsons Ride in Universal Studios Florida. It will feature roughly a half-dozen settings from the famously satirical TV show.

Among them: Krusty Burger, a restaurant serving a "Krusty-certified meat sandwich," and Moe’s Tavern, which will sell "Duff Beer," a fictional alcoholic brew that Universal says will be created exclusively for the theme park. Others will include Lard Lad’s Donuts, The Frying Dutchman, Luigi’s Pizza, The Android’s Dungeon & Baseball Card Shop, and Duff Gardens.

Universal will also add a second Simpsons-themed ride: Kang & Kodos’ Twirl ‘n’ Hurl, an outdoor spinner.

Twirl ’n Hurl is pretty good.

Homer Simpson look-alike found buried in the ground in China – With a picture.

Homer Simpson vs. Captain America – This is just a message board discussion that brings up the relevant point that by now, Homer has demonstrated as many super powers as an actual super hero, and s/he mostly cites things that came late in the show before Zombie Simpsons even got started.

5 ways that Family Guy and the Simpsons are the same – With the exception of #2 (“The basic formula”), I maintain that this is on Zombie Simpsons rather than The Simpsons.

Maggie Simpson’s Book of Animals (1991-c2c-getfreedregs) – I bought this book second hand a few years ago for a friend’s kid’s birthday.

Dem feels! I’ve seen them before… – This is just YouTube of Stacy Lavelle begging off Lisa’s demand that she do something, but the YouTube follows this:

My current motivation to get a job.

Well played.

My life – Heh.  (From same as above.)

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 26) – Season 4 beats Season 8, and . . .

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 27) – . . . Season 7 crushes Season 11.

I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords. – Good plan:

I’ve also been re-watching The Simpsons. Seasons 4 and 8 so far, with 5 waiting for me tonight. I won’t be going farther than season 9, but I’m definitely going to enjoy all 9 of the first seasons over the next few months.

Season 9 is an utterly fair place to stop.

Star Trek Into Darkness…In 10 Words – Let’s remake the best Star Trek movie with no villains, no plot, and barely passable CGI.  That movie was Zombie Simpsons bad, and I don’t use that lightly.

Pac-Man…In 10 Words – Ms. Pac-Man struck a blow for women’s rights . . .

(A)Lisa Simpson – Rather excellent fan made drawing of Lisa in Photoshop. 

Bart Simpson Runway Swag [Fashion] – Just in case anyone was curious, they make those haute couture Bart stuff in shirts, underwear, leggings and, apparently, hair.

trishna87 – Heh.

Save Water Drink Beer – I sort of doubt that’s officially licensed, but I also don’t care.

The Simpsons Tapped Out – Complete Squidport Layout! – For Tapped Out fans.

Tapped Out – And for Tapped Out fans who want to engage their inner nine-year-old.  (Also, and I’m not linking it because it looks scam-y as hell, I did find a link this week to people gold farming that game.) 

What Certain Shows Need to Do to Save Themselves! – I maintain that there is no way to save or renew the show, but this is excellent advice:

If you decide to continue on, then PLEASE stop with the multiple Grandpa Simpson back stories (one of the 2 this season was just plain awful) because we’ve have had more than enough of them.  Also, don’t recycle older stories (Moe’s bar has become popular and then dropped back down to squalor at least 3 or 4 times by my count).  Perhaps consider re-watching and analyzing older episodes to remind yourselves of what used to work and what used to make the show utterly hysterical and popular.

Hope springs eternal.

22 Responses to “Reading Digest: Crack Smoking Mayor Edition”

  1. 24 May 2013 at 2:35 pm

    Thanks for the link and keep doing God’s work, boys.

    • 2 ThisCannotBeTheFuture
      24 May 2013 at 10:18 pm

      “Aye, aye!…Admiral Butthead”

      (Just kidding! Can’t resist applying Simpsons quotes to almost everything, and for some reason I heard classic Homer responding as such.) ;)

      • 3 Stan
        25 May 2013 at 1:22 am

        I still can’t believe you speak Russian, man. Where would you ever make use of it?

        • 4 ThisCannotBeTheFuture
          25 May 2013 at 4:01 pm

          Приму это за комплимент, друг!

          I always thought I could get some cool government job with it. That didn’t pan out. In grad school where there were several Russian/Ukrainian students I got to make use of it. But in general you’re right…though it’s cool to be able to read “The Master and Margarita” in the original for example.

          It’s a very complex language and requires years of intense study/practice. It’s such an investment, in fact, I wouldn’t recommend anyone go for it (or any other foreign language for that matter) unless they have a really good reason.

          You live in Motreal, n’est-ce pa? Vous parlez francais?

          • 5 Stan
            25 May 2013 at 10:04 pm

            Tout à fait. Pourquoi tu me vousvoye? Je présume qu’en anglais le “you” donne plus souvent le “tu” transitoire, vu qu’on est quand-même dans le vernaculaire ici.

            • 6 ThisCannotBeTheFuture
              26 May 2013 at 12:08 pm

              For me, “you” never exactly *feels* like “vous” or “tu”, so it’s hard for English speakers to know when to use what in certain contexts. But you’re right: on a blog about the Simpsons I should have known better. C’est a dire–*tu* a raison. :)

              • 7 Stan
                26 May 2013 at 5:37 pm

                It’s “tu as raison”. But there is of course no better French tutor than Homer Simpson =)

                • 8 ThisCannotBeTheFuture
                  26 May 2013 at 6:14 pm

                  Stupid know-it-all Flanders. :)

                  Ok, my French is now, eh, how do you say, “inelegant.” Guess I should stick to Russian. :)

          • 9 Stan
            25 May 2013 at 10:06 pm

            Also, I’ve seen more complex languages in my lifespan, but yeah, if English’s your mother tongue, I’d rather go figure.

          • 10 Stan
            25 May 2013 at 10:07 pm

            Also… don’t say anything about “Мастер и Маргарита”. It’s a priceless masterpiece of its rightful epoch.

          • 11 abra cadaver
            25 May 2013 at 11:51 pm

            Eli eli rema sabatchtani?!

  2. 25 May 2013 at 12:00 am

    “Perhaps consider re-watching and analyzing older episodes to remind yourselves of what used to work and what used to make the show utterly hysterical and popular.”

    If they didn’t figure this out when they were doing audio commentaries for the Season 1-8 DVDs, they’re not going to figure it out now.

    • 25 May 2013 at 2:41 pm

      Very good point and observation.

    • 18 ThisCannotBeTheFuture
      25 May 2013 at 4:10 pm

      While the recommendation of re-watching the classic years certainly makes sense on one level, I have a feeling that this might be the root of the problem–or part of it.

      I once happened upon a blog post that gave the best theory as to what happened to the writing of the Simpsons post season ~ 10 (in my opinion). The author mentioned that the original writers drew their inspiration from things like Mad magazine, Dr. Demento, etc. By adding their own unique twist, they produced some of the sharpest comedy writing ever…

      …The writers of what we would call ZS (as this blogger’s theory goes), however, draw their inspiration from earlier episodes of The Simpsons. The result is the ole’ “copy of a copy” effect.

      This to me is a decent idea of why the writing on ZS is like a demented, goofball, lame version of classic Simpsons. It’s quite obvious, for starters, that several jokes have been recycled in ZS. To be fair, if I were hired to write for ZS maybe my best attempts at humor would be an unconscious recreation of classic Simpsons humor too.

  3. 19 Col. Coward
    25 May 2013 at 11:15 am

    It would be awesome if the waiters at Luigi’s Pizza loudly verbally abused you every time they walked into the back room.

  4. 20 abra cadaver
    25 May 2013 at 11:49 pm

    Fucking thank you for not somehow throwing in an Arrested Development reference in your update. I swear to god every fucking webpage on the net has SOME ridiculous out-of-left-field reference to the show shoehorned into their latest feature/review/news piece/editorial/WHATEVER, no matter how irrelevant, either as a bid to seem cool.. or ‘relevant’… or just to get page views?

    I mean, fuck, it was a good show – and honestly, if you guys DID mention its return, it would’ve actually made sense since it DID HAVE Dan Castallanata as a doctor saying “d’oh!” – but it wasn’t the cure for fucking cancer.

    …on the other hand, Breaking Bad is returning in early August… omigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigodomigod..

  5. 22 abra cadaver
    25 May 2013 at 11:55 pm

    Also, when Homer opens his mail up in much apu about nothing, if you freeze frame, you can kindasorta make out how much his paycheck — with new BEAR TAX included — is… it looks like $327 or something.

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