Archive for June, 2013



25
Jun
13

Quote of the Day

The War of the Simpsons9

“After the supermarket, we’ll go to the video store, grab a Krusty burger, and head for the arcade.” – Bart Simpson
“Bart, Grampa’s a kindly old man who trusts us.  Are you sure it’s right to take advantage of him?” – Lisa Simpson
“Lis, in these crazy, topsy-turvy times, who’s to say what’s right or wrong?  But right now, my gut’s telling me: bleed Gramps dry.” – Bart Simpson

24
Jun
13

Quote of the Day

Krusty Gets Busted5

“Hand over all your money in a paper bag!” – Not Krusty
“Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery.  I do work in a convenience store, you know.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

23
Jun
13

Quote of the Day

Lisa the Iconoclast11

“Egad, a monster!” – Settler #1
“It’s a horrible fiend!” – Settler #2
“It’s some sort of land cow.” – Settler #3

22
Jun
13

Reading Digest: Saturday Supplemental

Brother from the Same Planet12

“After sixteen glorious seasons, the Green Bay faithful bid farewell to Brian Bartlett Starr.” – TV Announcer
“Hmm, I keep thinking I’m forgetting something.” – Homer Simpson
“Bart!  Bart!  Bart!  Bart!” – Green Bay Faithful

As I went to post yesterday’s Reading Digest, I had that nagging feeling in the back of my head that I was forgetting something.  As is often the case, it was there because I was indeed forgetting something.  In this case, two somethings that were e-mailed to me and which managed to get lost in the shuffle:

Tales From The First Decadian Simpsonites – From commenter Thrillho comes this excellent link to minor internet darling Mara Wilson’s tale of television future:

Then came the MacFarlanders. They were not as fierce as the Parkerstoners, nor did they have the strength of beliefs. What they did have, was their speed, their stamina, and their talent for distraction. One would lob a popular cultural artifact at a Parkerstoner, and the other would ambush him. “They were pillagers,” the Elderlisa said.

Ha!  The whole thing isn’t that long, and it’s quite clever. 

The 25 Best Onetime "Simpsons" Characters – And from our old friend Conor comes this perfectly cromulent list.  There are a lot of good quotes and nothing past Season 8.  (But, come on, no Brad Goodman?)

Just as a reminder, Google Alerts can’t be everywhere, so if you see something Simpsons related on-line, please drop me a note.  I usually remember to include them.

22
Jun
13

Quote of the Day

The Homer They Fall4

“Hey, Simpson, wanna trade belts?” – Jimbo Jones
“Well, not really, cause yours is just a piece of extension cord.” – Bart Simpson
“Hey, dude, he’s ragging on your cord.” – Kearney
“Get him.” – Jimbo Jones

21
Jun
13

Reading Digest: Foreign food Edition

Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo4

“Well, I haven’t talked it over with the family, but I think we’d all like a free dinner at Americatown.” – Homer Simpson

This week we’ve got a couple of reports about the real Duff in Floreda, but we’ve also got people getting bootleg Duff in South America, a Spanish restaurant chain with an illegal Simpsons theme, and a Belgian chain with a legal one.  In addition to that, we’ve got a couple of lists, George Meyer, Mike Reiss selling shit to NBC, and a new punk album named after the show.  Enjoy.

‘Krasty Burger’ hits Fuengirola on the Costa del Sol in Spain (Includes first-hand account) – Good food, dubious legality, and lots of pictures.

Quick Launches Homer Simpson-Themed ‘Donut Burgers’ and ‘Les Cheesy Donuts’ – Novelty Menus – A Belgian fast food chain is doing Simpsons food this summer, and you can tell they’re European and not American because who the fuck wants to share:

The cheesy donuts are "small mouthfuls" of a cheddar dough that’s been stuffed with cheddar fondue. They come in servings of three or in servings of eight, which Quick intends for people to share.

Sharing is a bunch of crap. 

“We’ve Been Accused Of Starting Riots”: A Bad-Ass Conversation With Japanther – Awesome:

How do you talk about a band with a huge cult following — a band that’s equal parts performance art, politics, and punk? Their most recent LP Eat Like Lisa Act Like Bart, out now on Recess Records, is a ravenous romp through in-your-face punk politics.

Cool.

NECA & 20th Century Fox Announce Limited Edition SIMPSONS Merchandise Program – Ah, nothing says quality pageviews like repurposing the press release and doing so to such an extent that the little “about” thing is the only part of the article that spills onto the second page.  Also, more crappy merchandise is coming our way, but that’s hardly news.

Cannes Lions: Mondelez senior vice president of marketing & comms Dana Anderson talks client/agency relationships and pitching – For a guy who hates advertising, this seems like a dubious honor:

"I want you to think about collaboration and the power of being one instead of two," she stated of the mentality for agencies and clients alike.

Of generosity she highlighted the work of George Myers, a writer for The Simpsons who she said shared his jokes with other writers and refused a credit on the show for 10 years, which inspired his team, in order to show its success. She also compared the world of marketing to that of comedy, comparing the comedian’s unspoken rule if showing appreciation for one another while on stage together

Of course, it’d also be nice if they could bother to spell his name right. 

What’s Going to Come After The Simpsons? – Our old friend Charles Kenny (and some commenters) ponder the future of the show.

BEWARE: 9/11 and (now) 6/22 Terrorism foretold in “The Simpsons” – Some numerically obsessed (but, one suspects, statistically ignorant) conspiracy nuts think bad things are going to happen tomorrow.  I’d only add that bad things were supposed to happen three years ago as well. 

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing. – Two screen shots of the overly sarcastic kids from “Homerpalooza”.  I never noticed before, but there’s a guy behind them wearing a Dr. Zaius t-shirt. 

Devil’s Advocate – Thoughtful discussion of religion and morality on The Simpsons and on a show called God, the Devil and Bob, which I do not remember at all and which NBC apparently canned after only four episodes. 

A Challenge I Can Do – Taking stock of challenges because sometimes, like Lisa, you just want the ones you can do. 

“Melts in your Mouth…” – I’m sorry, we were talking about chocolate . . .

Surrounded by chocolate, I was in my happy zone.  Just picture the following:  colourful rows of bulk M&M candies, M&M ice-cream bars, individually-wrapped chocolate, and even candy-inspired memorabilia present in surplus volume.  Being in a chocolate shop was fun, as it reminded me of that Simpsons episode where Homer dreams of life in chocolate.

. . . that was ten minutes ago!

Evan and Gordon Talk: Fat People – Lotta good .gifs here, though one of them is from Zombie Simpsons. 

‘Simpsons’ Producer Lands ‘How Murray Saved Christmas’ Special at NBC – The kids book Reiss wrote is getting picked up as a 1-hour special by NBC.  Congratulations. 

Sideshow Bob and Krusty the Clown meet guests at The Simpsons Ride in Universal Orlando – Want to see two people in costumes on YouTube?  Here you go.

Moe’s Tavern, I just want Moe of it – Another first hand report from the new theme park section, this one with lots of pictures.

‘Simpsons’ Duff Beer starts flowing at Unviersal Orlando’s Springfield – Unsurprising:

Unofficially, Duff has existed for years, thanks to cheeky, copyright-skirting brewers around the world. But this is the first version sanctioned by The Simpsons. Reportedly brewed by Melbourne’s Florida Brewing Co. — Universal honchos won’t say for sure — it’s available in three variations: Duff, Duff Lite and Duff Dry. (Sorry, fans, you’ll have to wait for Duff Blue, Duff Extra Cold and Henry K. Duff’s Private Reserve.)

Park officials are calling it a "craft beer," which is technically true, but don’t go in expecting bold, hoppy flavors or notes of vanilla or burnt caramel. Duff is light, malty and not particularly strong; reviewers have compared it to Yuengling, Keystone Light and Budweiser.

To be fair, Duff isn’t exactly supposed to be great beer.  It’s supposed to be cheap, which it certainly won’t be at an amusement park.

¡Ay, caramba! Twentieth Century Fox applies for alcoholic Duff Beer – FOX applied for a Duff brand beer trademark in Australia.  That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to start selling Duff Beer anywhere outside the theme park, but if they were this is what they would do. 

10 Funny Photos From the Road – And, speaking of the Southern Hemisphere, check out this photo from Chile of a woman drinking Duff with Homer himself.  As she writes:

Chileans have quite an obsession with The Simpsons. The paraphernalia can be found everywhere and apparently so can Homer himself.

See, FOX, why would you be against that? 

A 10 Word Tribute to James Gandolfini – Hey, I like this kid.  I can’t believe we were gonna shoot him. 

Man of Steel…In 10 Words – We want to stay as far away from the campy 70s version as we can.  (Despite the ludicrous death toll at the end, I liked this movie.  It’s really stupid in places and takes too long, and it’ll never be a classic, but I saw it twice in the theater because . . . damn, those are the most big screen worthy effects I’ve seen in years.  It’s a shame they wasted Kevin Spacey in Superman 5 because someone is going to have a career defining role as Lex Luthor in Superman 7.) 

Airheads (movie)…In 10 Words – Mad Jon and I get drunk and watch this every so often because it is great and terribly overlooked.  (The cast is lousy with “that guy!”s: Fat Tony, Kramer, Michael McKean, Marshall Bell, Norman from The Wire, David Arquette, Judd Nelson and two Ghostbusters!)  Plus, when releasing one of the hostages he’s taken with a squirt gun, Brendan Fraser says this:

Yvonne, get your shit and go.  You’ll be home in time for the Simpsons.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf…In 10 Words – I won’t buy it until I can raise Grasshopperus.

What do you do on your fiftieth revision? – The dangers of endless rewrites from our old friend Alec Nevala-Lee:

When you’ve read these scenes as many times as I have, there’s a natural tendency to get a little tired of what you’ve written, and with it comes the temptation to make changes just so you can look at something new. And that’s dangerous. I’m often reminded of what the legendary showrunner David Mirkin said of his time on The Simpsons: when you’ve rewritten a joke thirty times, you stop laughing, and it’s important to remember how funny it was when you first heard it. Otherwise, you’ll end up changing it at the last minute, and the new version is rarely as good as it was on the twenty-ninth or thirtieth read.

That’s as solid a case for half-assing things as I’ve ever heard.

Dag 134 – A giant yellow Homer t-shirt.

Top 10 Fictional Fathers (Father’s Day Special) – Homer comes in at #5, with his old nemesis Cliff Huxtable reigning supreme at #1.

Our Eternal Father – Click through for a rather appropriate Homer cartoon. 

My Dad… (part 3) – Duffman is on this list, but I prefer Zapp Brannigan’s “My dad has wave upon wave of your dad at his disposal.”

Reason #13 – My cooking skills – Animated (reversed) .gif of Homer setting the breakfast flakes on fire.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 33) – Here’s a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.  Enjoy.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 34) – Heh, forgot about this:

From the commentary, after the joke about Christo’s umbrellas killing someone:
Matt Groening: “There was some hesitation over that joke.”
George Meyer: “Maybe there should have been more.”

Who’d win in a wrestling match, Meyer or God?  Trick question, dickhead, Meyer is God.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 35) – How do I use the pressure cooker?  Don’t!

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 36) – But because these are are children’s toys, the fire will spread quickly, so please stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes.

20 Greatest Comedies of All Time. – Blame Zombie Simpsons:

Ok we all know that the shows quality has dropped off drastically from the early years, but it really is hard to keep up that level of quality.

That is why the Simpsons is no.6 on this list, for the early episodes, the good years.  Not the years where we receive endless pointless celebrity cameos or pointless trips to foreign lands (why would you leave Springfield it’s great).

[…]

The sad part however, is the question of if the Simpsons finished 10 years ago would it be higher up the list?  And the sad answer is yes.

Damn you, Zombie Simpsons! 

My Top Ten Simpsons Episodes – And finally, I get to end with someone who agrees with us in list form:

Although the series has perhaps gone down hill in recent years the classic era of The Simpsons still has to be marveled at. This is reflected in all of my choices for my top ten episodes being from Seasons 3-8.

Lotta good quotes there.

21
Jun
13

Quote of the Day

Homer the Vigilante11

“Lisa, the mob is working on getting your saxophone back, but we’ve also expanded into other important areas: literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination.” – Homer Simpson
“World domination?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, that might be a typo.” – Homer Simpson
“Mental note: the girl knows too much.” – Homer’s Brain




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