Archive for July, 2013


Quote of the Day

Kamp Krusty16

“Before I go to camp, I’ll need boosters for malaria, German measles, encephalitis, Hansen’s disease-” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, now I’m afraid what we have here is an advanced case of hypochondria.  There’s only one known cure: a lollypop.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Don’t patronize me, Doctor.” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day

Maximum Homerdrive3

“I need something that’ll keep me awake, alert and reckless all night long.” – Homer Simpson
“Well, Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw these.” – General Store Guy
“Sold!” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Simpsons Bible Stories2

“And, as we pass the collection plate, please give as though the person next to you were watching.” – Reverend Lovejoy


Quote of the Day

Lisa the Vegetarian13

“They can’t seriously expect us to swallow that tripe!” – Lisa Simpson
“Now, as a special treat courtesy of our friends at the meat council, please help yourselves to this tripe.” – Principal Skinner

Happy birthday David S./X. Cohen


Reading Digest: Pre-San Diego Edition

Itchy and Scratchy Land13

“Lobster hat, fishnet speedo junior, wheelie shoes, invisible dog leash . . . well, I’m packed.” – Homer Simpson

This week we’ve got a couple of links to a singing troupe that’s headed – at FOX’s expense – to sunny California next weekend for Comic Con.  They’ve got two shows coming up, plus they’re performing at the convention itself.  In addition to that, we’ve got several great pieces of non-musical fan art, plenty of usage and references, the ongoing saga of the Simpsons bracket, and a couple of great episode write ups.


We Put The Spring In SpringfieldTwo years ago we linked to a New York City based group that was putting on renditions of Simpsons songs.  Well, they are back and they are going to San Diego next weekend.  Per their press release e-mail:

I wanted to let you guys know that FOX is flying us out to San Diego to perform on the official The Simpsons panel (with Al Jean, Matt Groening, etc.) at ComicCon 2013! We’re doing a show that night too.

There’s a show tomorrow night in New York at the Duplex Cabaret Theater in Manhattan, and then it’s off to California for two shows next Saturday.  Here’s the preview video.

Comic-Con 2013 schedule: See what’s happening Saturday – And here’s what else is going on next weekend:

12:45p.m.-1:30p.m., Ballroom 20, The Simpsons: Celebrate The Simpsons’ 25th year on the air with creator Matt Groening, executive producer Al Jean, supervising director Mike Anderson, and consulting producer David Silverman, enjoy never-before seen footage from guest director Guillermo del Toro, and hear musical guests perform “We Put The Spring In Springfield!”

We all know who the musical guests are now.

Maine Hospital Honors The Simpsons In Unique Manner – A hospital in Maine refers to unknown patients, many of them hunters who weren’t carrying ID with them, as John and Jane “D’Ohs”.  Someone on the show heard about this, and now they’ve got all manner of Simpsons swag:

A recent John D’Oh at WMMC happened to be a friend of one of the program’s producers.  After the hospital’s ER doctors saved his life, he promised them he would show his thanks in a unique way.

Shortly thereafter, sets of Simpsons scrubs arrived for the entire staff.  Now, when anyone calls WMMC, they are greeted by the voice of a Simpsons character on the hospital’s automated phone system.

Click through for the full story, it’s awesome. 

Game Of Thrones Simpsonized – This was everywhere this week, and deservedly so.  Here’s a link to the original Tumblr.  Well done.

Watching the Neighbourhood Watch – Good job, people of Toronto:

On a walk through the Roncesvalles area I stumbled across a neighbourhood watch sign that was a tad unusual. In place of the usual blue faces it prominently displayed Adam West era Batman and Robin. I thought it was hilarious and kind of a one off thing…..until I discovered another one with Robocop!
So far the mysterious artist was 2 for 2 in terms of my favourite fictional law enforcers.
However, that turned into a tri-fecta the other day when I looked up and saw Chief Wiggum tucking little Ralph into bed.

Click through for the picture. 

5 For Friday: TV’s Best Birthday Moments – Stan Marsh’s adult level hatred as a ten-year-old is on this list, but Lisa’s birthday song is number one.  Also, there’s quite a bit of good YouTube here.

D’oh! adventures in the DSM – Ah, science:

For my part, I’ve decided to set aside valuable critique of the psychiatric establishment and put the DSM to a stronger test: How well does it diagnose classic side characters from one of TV’s greatest accomplishments, The Simpsons?

Now that’s psychiatry! 

Bart Simpson – Make your own yarn Bart Simpson.  Bravo. 

Television shows I’ve never seen – Wow:

The Simpsons (1989-Present)

I have no aversion to animation or comedy and satire of society interests me greatly, but again, for whatever reason, I’ve yet to see this show. Not one episode and besides a few gifs and momentary clips, I’ve not seen much footage either. If asked, I’d be hard pressed to name more than four characters. Quick: Bart, Homer, Lisa, Marge? And I’m done. I just Googled Marge now to make sure that actually is one. It is, okay. Four and I’m tapped out.

As always, my recommendation is to start with Season 2. 

what are your “favorite” weasel words? – Excellent usage:

As Homer Simpson once said, “Weaselling outta things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.” Of course, this is unfair to the weasel, which is a very nice and very smart little creature indeed.

Apt and perfectly quoted.

Mike Johnson: Soglin right, council wrong on disclosing donations – Excellent reference:

A recent Madison City Council vote left me pondering a line from "The Simpsons" TV show: “Y’know, a town with good legislation is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it!”

My version of “THAT Legendary series!” – Another personal best TV show list that naturally includes The Simpsons

Scenes from Amsterdam – It’s not the best photo, but here’s Marge and Lisa hanging out on a balcony in the Netherlands.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 44) – Another Hobson’s Choice between “Radio Bart” and “The Springfield Files”, but worth the click for the great image compilation of the tunnel, and the YouTube video of the real life radio microphone commercial.  My god, someone actually did the “Hey, good looking thing”. 

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 45) – Up and at them! 

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 46) – Image compilation of the “Meat and You” filmstrip.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 47) – Season 3 versus Season 2, that’s horrible. 

Dag 155 – Simple. Elegant. Duff t-shirt. 

It’s all in your head, so… – Animated .gif of Lisa dancing to the Soul Mass Transit System.

Kang! – A great looking graffiti Kang (or is it Kodos?) in Vancouver. 

Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Show…In 10 Words – Marge, we’ve got all the fireworks we need right here.

The Fosters…In 10 Words – Do you have ’em in blonde?

Drunk History…In 10 Words – Now let us party, like twas 1799! 

Sharknado…In 10 Words – And now, for a real element of danger, one drop of human blood.

oops – Work and drinking explained through a few Simpsons videos. 

Simpsons Classics: “Summer of 4 Ft. 2″ – And finally, Smooth Charlie’s Link of the week got displaced to the bottom because of the singing and all, but our old friends at No Pun Intended have one of the best write ups of “Summer of 4 Ft. 2” ever.  Lots of screen grabs, good looks at plenty of scenes, and a .gif of Homer’s face when he realizes the dud looks like Milhouse.  Really a great read. 


Quote of the Day

Hostage Negotiations

“Operator, I’d like to place an order for my husband.” – Marge Simpson
“Would he like to lose weight, stop smoking, learn the state capitals, master hostage negotiations . . .” – Subliminal Tape Operator
“Hmm, hostage negotiations . . .”
“Listen, Taboli, we’re ignoring all of your demands.  What do you say to that?” – Hostage Negotiator Homer
“Better give me the weight loss tape.” – Marge Simpson


Quote of the Day

Cape Feare8

“Robert, if released would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?” – Lawyer
“Bart Simpson?  The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine soaked hell hole?” – Sideshow Bob
“Uh, we object to the term ‘urine soaked hell hole’ when you could’ve said ‘pee pee soaked heck hole’.” – Parole Officer
“Cheerfully withdrawn.” – Sideshow Bob


Quote of the Day

Lisa on Ice13

“Tell you what, Simpson, I won’t fail you if you join one of those pee-wee teams outside the school.” – Gym Teacher
“You mean those leagues where parents push their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?” – Lisa Simpson
“Look, I don’t need this.  I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning.” – Gym Teacher


Quote of the Day

Who Shot Mr. Burns Part 1h

“Willie, sometime over the holiday weekend, the beloved grade four gerbil, Superdude, lost his life.  I need you to air out the classroom and give Superdude a proper burial.” – Principal Skinner
“You’re lucky you’re getting a decent burial.  Me own father got thrown in the bog.” – Groundskeeper Willie


Quote of the Day

Bart on the Road8

“This is a map of nuclear sites around the country.  As a safety inspector, I’m responsible for changing most of these light bulbs.” – Homer Simpson
“Why are there so many burnt out ones?” – Lisa Simpson
“Cause they won’t hire an assistant.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

How Kittens Are Born

“And here comes Snowball II, this is the one we kept.” – Bart Simpson
“Eww.” – Fourth Grade
“We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.” – Bart Simpson
“Eww.” – Fourth Grade
“Mrs. Krabappel, he’s traumatizing the children.” – Martin Prince
“As usual, I agree with you, Martin.  Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Oh, look, this is really cool.  When I hit reverse, I can make ’em go back in!” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

Bart's Inner Child12

“Springfield will have its first annual Do What You Feel Festival this Saturday, whenever you feel like showing up.  It’ll be a welcome change from our annual Do As We Say Festival, started by German settlers in 1946.” – Kent Brockman


Reading Digest: Summer Orphans Edition

Bart of Darkness11

“Oh, the gentle caress of a summer breeze.” – Martin Prince 

With the Fourth falling on a Thursday this year, the internet has been low all week, so this is a pretty short Reading Digest.  Two items, however, provide quite a few links.  First, a German guy wrote a book praising the show for its long history of not berating the gays; second, a young hooligan in Illinois put up some Simpsons themed graffiti, and we have pictures.  Neither is the world’s most earth shattering news, but it’s high summer, the day after the Fourth of July, and most sensible people are doing things other than hanging out on-line.  Things should be get back to normal next week.  In addition to that stuff, we’ve got a couple of surprises from the ongoing best episode bracket, Harry Shearer continuing his quest to be recognized as the hardest working man in show business, the Denver Broncos, and an admitted Simpsons-holic.


You Are Lisa Simpson – A tribute to Lisa about how her youth makes her impervious to all the attendant sexual horseshit that gets attached to other female characters.  Also, this:

This is the most traumatically perfect thing that has ever happened on The Simpsons. (‘Do It For Her’, is pretty good. But ‘You Are Lisa Simpson’ even beats ‘Do It For Her’. That’s how fucking good it is.)

That’s a tough one. 

The Simpsons knew it years ahead of us. – Reddit notices all the labeled wires, NSA among them, in “El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer”.

The Simpsons helped me come out – A German librarian has written a book in which he praises the show for its early and positive portrayal of gay characters on television. 

Homer Makes us Love Homos – The Simpsons 25 Years – Reacting to the same book, this is a rundown of some of the show’s gay content over the years (including Zombie Simpsons), but it’s worth the click for the fan made drawing of naked Homer right at the top. 

‘The Simpsons’ Responsible For Mainstream Acceptance Of Gays, Claims New Study – Another writeup of that same new book contains this interesting tidbit:

“As a result, ‘The Simpsons’ conveys to an audience of millions a typically American, but an uncharacteristically open-minded, image of gays and lesbians,” reads the book’s Amazon synopsis. ”Despite the fallback to stereotypes, an intelligent, fair and entertaining handling of homosexuality can be observed in The Simpsons.”

The hinting with Smithers was pretty subtle at first, but I remain amazed that they got away with Karl in 1990.  He’s as gay as the day is long, voiced by Harvey Fierstein, and kisses Homer on the lips.  If that had been live action, there would’ve been riots, stations refusing to air it, and all kinds of other ugliness. 

The Best LeMons Race Car So Far: The Homer from "The Simpsons"! – This is mostly about the car from last week, but it’s also got pictures of another Simpsons themed car:

Meanwhile, in the Deep South, the uranium-handling Homer Simpsons of Stupid But Tough Racing (they have radioactive day jobs at Oak Ridge National Laboratory, so they really are Homer Simpsons) decided they’d make their Chevy Malibu look like The Simpsons’ pink family sedan and add a gigantic spray-foam Homer head to the roof.

The child size inner tube as a donut is a nice touch.

06/28/2013 – Someone got one of those Homer burgers at that Belgian fast food place. 

DAYTONA to Debut at Park Theatre, July 17; Launches UK Tour thru Oct 2013 – Harry Shearer is heading to the stage in Britain:

Directed by David Grindley and starring Maureen Lipman, Harry Shearer (The Simpsons, This is Spinal Tap, Saturday Night Live) and John Bowe (Cranford, Sweeney Todd), Daytona is a haunting, funny and poignant play full of mystery, with not one but two love stories at its heart.

Happy in their shared passion for ballroom dancing, Joe and Elli plan to win the next big competition. But the unexpected arrival of a figure from their past threatens to throw everything off balance. What can this man possibly want of them on this cold winter’s night? What can be gained from this uneasy reunion? When they discover the story behind his sudden return, Joe and Elli must confront a profound moral dilemma.

Bart Back With Butterfinger – FOX has started cashing checks from Nestle again.  Carry on.

Glastonbury 2013 review: lightning strikes for The Rolling Stones – Excellent reference:

In 1995, The Simpsons aired a classic episode called ‘Lisa’s Wedding’ in which a demented fortune teller foretold the story of Lisa Simpson’s first love. While glimpsing the future—a now distant 2010—we saw a host of eerily true predictions of what’s to come, including The Rolling Stones’ Steel Wheelchair Tour. And though a few years later than expected, last night we saw what could be considered the Steel Zimmerframe headline slot at Glastonbury.


Over My Head – Excellent usage:

In an old episode of The Simpsons, Homer takes his two daughters, Lisa and Maggie, to VHS Village because it is the “quickest, cheapest, easiest” way to do something with them. Upon entering the video store, Lisa dashes to what is presumably the children’s section while Homer finds himself in the sports section. He excitedly finds a video called “Football’s Greatest Injuries” and then yells out, “Lisa, we’re going!”

When we’d catch this episode in reruns, my sister and I would laugh at how much our own dad could be like Homer when he took us to the video store.

Ah the video store trip, relic of a lost world.

I want to change… – Communicating with upset kids through the medium of Maggie.

Close up look at The Simpsons collection by Converse: Part 2! – Just what it says.  This is the shoe with Homer on it.

Top 5 Worst Simpsons Episodes – I can’t really argue with any of these. 

Ross’ Turkey Sandwich | “Friends” | – Excellent YouTube usage:

But he wasn’t wrong about the Moist Maker. I imagine that adding stuffing to the sandwich, while delicious, is not likely to help in the moisture department. Leftover cranberry sauce would not be enough. There’s just no culinary crime like a dry turkey sandwich (Simpsons did it!):

Naperville Cops Seek Simpsons Graffiti Artists – El Barto strikes in Illinois. 

Skinner stinks: Naperville has a cow over graffiti art – A few more pictures from the Land of Lincoln, the one above the river certainly gets points for being acrobatic. 

spritz life – Fantastic graffiti of Jimbo and Martin from Vancouver. 

Grimey Dub – Awesome fan made image of Grimes as a DJ. 

Grads to Watch: Robyn Fortunat – The kids are alright:

All it took was repeated viewings of The Simpsons opening sequence, particularly Lisa’s saxophone solo after being thrown out of music class.

That’s what inspired Cowichan Secondary graduating student Robyn Fortunat to pick up the shiny jazz instrument.

"I’ve always listened to music, mostly jazz, easy-listening, since I was real young," explained Fortunat.
"I loved Lisa and her saxophone," she said.

Like Lisa, she often annoys her folks at home blowing out crazy-loud band repertoire tunes. Her dog, Orrin, isn’t a fan either.

But it paid off. The 18-year-old is headed to Vancouver Island University come fall to study in  its jazz program.

Good luck, young lady.

Number 1′s: Wacky TV Neighbors – Flanders makes the list because obviously. 

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 41) – Season 17 vs. Season 19 yields:

The “winner”: KABF06, “The Debarted,” I guess.

Now that’s sarcasm. 

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 42) – And a shocking upset where Armin Tamzarian comes out ahead of . . . Sideshow Bob?  I did not see that one coming.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 43) – Fudd?  I thought they took that off the market after all those hillbillies went blind.

White House Down…In 10 Words – Mr. President, those young people are about to get a dose of reality.

Doctor Who Monday: Vengeance on Varos…In 10 Words – I sure enjoyed those hundred tacos. 

The Heat…In 10 Words – It means they get results, you stupid chief!  (That movie was fantastic, by the way.)

‘The rirst report is always wrong,’ and other blackout lessons – Moderate usage:

After about the 15th time I tapped the space bar when I meant to hit “c,” or the backspace button instead of “l,” I began to feel like my phone’s touchscreen keypad was mocking me.

Just like that time on “The Simpsons” when Homer gains 63 pounds so he can go on disability, then has to dial 911, only to hear the following phone message: “The fingers you are using to dial this phone are too fat. To order a special dialing wand, mash your palm against the keys now.”

The irony about reporting on Sunday’s blackout, which punched out the Ellwood City area’s lights for more than half a day, is that I had to do it without electricity. So I wound up writing two stories for Monday’s paper from my phone.

The actual quote is, “The fingers you have used to dial, are too fat.  To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now.”. 

66 Days to Kickoff – A Broncos fan remembers the low esteem in which the team was held until they won those two Super Bowls with Elway and Davis. 

What’s your favorite kind of lawn sprinkler?! – Animated .gif of Milhouse asking that most important of summer questions.

The Cartoon Character Couple Phenomenon and Couples Who Look Alike – Interesting:

The cartoon character couple phenomenon describes two romantically involved people who have such a strong resemblance to one another that they could just as easily pass for brother and sister. I’ve derived the name of the phenomenon from a handful of cartoon character couples who are, for whatever reason, drawn in such a way that they appear to be related. Some of the more famous examples include The Simpsons Kirk and Luann Van Houten and Mort and Muriel Goldman of Family Guy. Other examples include the perennially in-hiding Waldo and his girlfriend Wenda. Also, Starla and Muscle Man from Cartoon Network’s The Regular Show.

July 2 – Journalist Cocktail – A rundown of some famous TV news crews and what they might be drinking, including Brockman and Channel 6.

A cromulent addiction embiggens the smallest man – And finally, I get to end with someone who really, really agrees with us:

You see, am a “The Simpsons” seasons 3-9-aholic.


The telltale symptoms can be as far-reaching as social disconnection from the non-animated world, but as subtle as constant quoting and laughter. If possible, I would speak only in quotes from the greatest run of televised humor in history. Alas, I must press on with real-world anecdotes and speak to people with sentences I craft myself.

That does not mean I have to like it.

Preach, brother.  Preach.


Quote of the Day

Fear of Flying11

“Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one horse town!  I want to explore the world!  I want to watch TV in a different time zone.  I want to visit strange, exotic malls.  I’m sick of eating hoagies.  I want a grinder, a sub, a foot long hero!  I want to live, Marge!  Won’t you let me live?  Won’t you please?” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

Homer's Enemy11

“I’m saying: you’re what’s wrong with America, Simpson.  You coast through life, you do as little as possible, and you leech off decent, hardworking people, like me.  If you lived in any other country in the world, you’d have starved to death long ago.” – Frank Grimes
“He’s got you there, Dad.” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

They Saved Lisa's Brain6

“Oh, Dad, I just spent the day with the most wonderful people.” – Lisa Simpson
“Aw, that’s great, honey.  You tell me everything you can before the commercial’s over.” – Homer Simpson

Happy birthday Yeardley Smith!


Quote of the Day

Marge Simpson in 'Screaming Yellow Honkers'7

“Okay, here’s how your lease breaks down: this is your down payment, then here’s your monthly, and there’s your weekly.” – Stan
“And that’s it, right?” – Homer Simpson
“Yup.  Oh, then after your final monthly payment there’s the routine CBP or Crippling Balloon Payment.” – Stan
“But that’s not for a while, right?” – Homer Simpson
“Right.” – Stan
“Sweet.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

22 Short Films about Springfield9

“Milhouse, do you ever think about the people in those cars?” – Bart Simpson
“I try not to.  It makes it harder to spit on ’em.” – Milhouse van Houten


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