Archive for August, 2013


Quote of the Day

Last Tap Dance in Springfield2

“Come on, Bart, while your Dad gets his glasses we’ll go shop for your trip.” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, I hate shopping.  Just get me a deck of cards and I’ll win whatever I need from the other kids.” – Bart Simpson


Quote of the Day

Itchy and Scratchy and Marge14

“I knew all this stuff would come in handy someday.  Let’s see now, ah, here it is: the Complete Handyman’s Bookshelf, Volume 1, Spice Racks.” – Homer Simpson


Reading Digest: Summer Lull Edition

Bart of Darkness12

“Well, you’re certainly doing your job today, Mr. Sun.  Oh, rats.” – Hans Moleman

The internet didn’t have much by way of Simpsons stuff this week, so it must be the middle of August.  We do have some very good reads, though, including a Simpsons themed short story, a passionate, life long embrace of the show, and an excellent job quitting Troy McClure e-mail.  In addition to that there’s some Season 5 and 6 trivia, a couple of food related excellent references, and a couple of haikus.


[Note: I’m out of town and away from the internet for the weekend, so I had to schedule this in advance.  So anything that happened since yesterday afternoon, Harry Shearer conquering the Moon or something, won’t be in here.] 

Day 24 Prompt – A Future with the Simpsons – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this short story set in a post apocalyptic world.  A quick and funny read.

Madeline’s Farewell – Now this is how you quit your job:

Hi, I’m Troy McClure.You might remember me from such Out of Office Messages as Going to a Doctor’s Appointment that’s Definitely Not an Interview and Eek! There’s a Spider in my Ear!

I’m here today to talk to you about one of your coworkers- Madeline is no longer employed here

The whole thing is just as good, especially when little Billy shows up.  Bravo.

The first step towards getting somwhere is deciding you are not going to stay where you are – An entertainment industry internship led to a table read for Zombie Simpsons.  There’s a picture of the cover of the script for episode SABF14, “What to Expect When Bart’s Expecting”.  Going by production numbers, we should be suffering through that sometime late in Season 25 or early in Season 26.   [Update 7 Sep 2013: As the request of the author I’ve removed the direct link to the post, which has been deleted.  Looks like FOX cracked down for having a script title spilled on-line.  If that was our fault: sorry.]

A weekend of madness: I was promised sun! – Friends get together and start coming up with the top ten episodes list.  Season 12’s “Lisa the Tree Hugger” is on there, but other than that it’s all single digit seasons.

Under The Dome, a haiku – Bravo:

Stephen King annoyed

Not seen The Simpsons Movie

Didn’t rip it off!

Wring His Neck, a Simpsons haiku – More syllabic poetry:

Homer strangles Bart

That’s a criminal offence

Lucky it’s not real


Two Up and Coming Trends for Fall. – We’ve got male models wearing designer Bart stuff now.

THX Movie Opening – There was a reason they put the THX thing in “Burns’ Heir”, it was everywhere for a couple of years there.

TSTOgame on Flickr, share pictures of your town – Just what it says:

One of the most common requests I received when I asked for suggestions and general feedback was to enable visitors of this site to share picture of their town. So now this blog has its own group on Flickr.

Best. Episode. Ever. (Round 58) – Whew, “Lisa’s Substitute” vs. “$pringfield” is rough.

Speeding it up, slowing it down – Our old friend Alec Nevala-Lee informs me of something I don’t think I’ve ever heard before:

David Mirkin, the showrunner responsible for what are arguably the greatest seasons of The Simpsons, would often speed up an entire episode very slightly rather than cut material to fit the show into its time slot, which is why the dialogue in episodes like “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” seems to zip along so quickly.

Ehhhxcellent…Meh heh heh. – Giant Mr. Burns hands at Ned Flanders’ alma mater.

Jobs (movie)…In 10 Words – He was the first wealthy man in America to wear jeans with a sport coat.

Lee Daniel’s The Butler…In 10 Words – Then we’re all happy!

Face Off…In 10 Words – I do like the way the blush brings out my cheekbones.

Face/Off…In 10 Words – He can’t shoot if he doesn’t know which one of us is the real Krusty!

My Simplistic Review Of The Simpson’s Tapped Out Help Blog With Guest Blogger Tom – Just what it says:

Tom: Yes, the voices are done by the actual actors. The buildings all have unique animations when someone is in them. All in the Simpson style and look.

Chris:  I also like the Playboy Marge task where she goes around flashing the other characters.

Tom: There is no Playboy Marge task. This is a family game.

Chris: Well there should be.

Damn ESRB.

Our Simpsons-ized Family/Birth Announcement – Cool.

The first real test. – Going sugar free sure sounds tough, but this is an excellent reference:

There is an episode of the Simpsons in which Homer is hallucinating about being in chocolate land. He skips through a chocolate town with whimsical music playing. He hops along with chocolate bunnies, before grabbing one and taking a bite out of it’s butt. He spins around a candy cane lamp post and then takes a lick. It’s starts to rain chocolate and he gathers it in his hands and stuffs it into his mouth. It’s literally raining sugar in his fantasy land. That pretty much sums up my weekend perfectly. Except for me the theme song from Jaws is playing, the bunnies are rabid and are chasing me bent on my destruction, the candy cane lamp post is laughing a maniacal horror movie villain laugh and the chocolate rain is acid and I’m running for my life.

Wow, sugar, half price.

Holidays Ain’t the Same Without Some Carvel’s Ice Cream – On the food theme, here’s another excellent reference:

Plus, Carvel is known for making novelty items such as: “Flying Saucers”, which are ice cream sandwiches on chocolate wafers.  Also included is the “Fudgie the Whale”, which has made a cameo on one Simpson’s episode where Marge & Homer get married reading “To A Whale of a Wife”.

D’oh… – A short YouTube video of people falling down set to Homer’s favorite saying.

A Yellow Marriage: The Simpsons – And finally, this is more forgiving of Zombie Simpsons than I am, but it does make the distinction and this is self evidently true:

But one rule-one defining, thrusting, pulsingly huge rule-I live my life by is this: NEVER trust someone who doesn’t like The Simpsons.

Amen to that.


Quote of the Day

Simpson and Delilah12

“Our first issue, sir, is our low productivity and record high worker accident rate.” – Mr. Smithers
“Any suggestions?” – C.M. Burns
“A round of layoffs might wake up the idiots.” – Male Executive
“We could put caffeine in the water cooler.” – Female Executive
“Those are my ideas!  You people don’t think, you regurgitate!” – C.M. Burns


Today I Am a Clown Makes Baby Jesus Cry

 Mr. T and the Nancy Reagan

Image shamelessly yoinked from here.

“This is worse than your song about Mr. T.” – Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
“I pity the fool who doesn’t like . . . he.” – Homer Simpson

This episode has a cavalcade of guest voices, several of whom are playing themselves, plus Homer gets a new job as a talk show host.  Happily, they spend most of the commentary ignoring the episode and telling stories about Mr. T, who is apparently exactly like his public persona when he’s recording voices.  It’s also worth pointing out that by this point in Zombie Simpsons, even the DVD commentaries are getting repetitive.  Three or four times someone will tell a story or note some piece of trivia after mentioning that they’ve said so many times before. 

Anyway, we start with ten people on this one, but Caroline Omine shows up late.  To begin we have Jean, Selman, Castellaneta, Tim Long, Joel Cohen, Don Payne, Tom Gammill, Max Pross, Nancy Cruz, and Steve Moore.

0:40 – After Cruz says her name, she was ninth, someone asks “Is that it?” before Steve Moore describes himself as a “guest attendee”. 

1:00 – Jean asks Joel Cohen to discuss the origin of the episode.  It was originally pitched as a travel show where they could go to Israel for Krusty’s bar mitzvah, but it became just Krusty’s bar mitzvah. 

1:20 – Gammill asks Cohen, for the benefit of those who don’t know, what a bar mitzvah is, which leads to some insider Jewish humor, “You read from the Torah in front of friends, families and people with envelopes in their pockets.”  Ha.

2:15 – Jean asks Castellaneta if he knew Krusty was Jewish when he started doing the voice.  He did not, and then launches into the “he’s based on Rusty Nails” story, which he acknowledges has been told many, many times at this point.

3:00 – Discussing the nationwide franchising of Bozo the Clown.  Jean laughs about how the one in Detroit lost the rights and had to change his name to Oopsie the Clown when he was a kid.

3:30 – Cohen won a Jewish Image award for this, but didn’t win a Writers Guild award.

4:00 – Castellaneta did Rabbi Krustofski at the table read, and then does his Jackie Mason impression here.  It’s funny.

4:20 – On screen Homer just finished strangling Santa’s Little Helper, but no one wants to talk about that so Jean asks Castellaneta if he ever met any real TV clowns.  He has, in fact, met the son of the guy who played Bozo, Bob Bell.  They’re not discussing the episode at all, but so far this is a pretty entertaining commentary.

5:20 – Krusty’s mansion was done a little to look like Jerry Lewis’s place in The King of Comedy.

5:30 – Jean’s just killing time now, so after noting that it’s been on many commentaries before, he talks about how Krusty is just Homer with different hair.

6:20 – After another digression, Jean asks Long what it was like to direct Mr. T for this episode.  Mr. T was one of the most enthusiastic guest voices they ever had, which launches into a Rocky III story that Long says he’s told many times before. 

7:30 – Still discussing Mr. T, who comes in for very high praise for being fun to work with.

7:55 – Apparently, Mr. T’s recording session overlapped with Weird Al’s recording session, and the two met right in the room they’re using for the commentary.  Mr. T was “a little hazy” about who Weird Al was.  Again, nobody’s paying the least bit attention to the episode, but this commentary remains much more entertaining than most.

8:30 – Selman tries to keep the Mr. T thing going, and everyone just ignores him so Gammill can ask if the setting they’re in is supposed to be Washington Square Park.  Consensus: yes it is.

9:15 – Gammill recounts living near Washington Square Park for ten years.  They once found a body in his apartment building.  This leads to much joking and laughter.  Man, I wish they were always this entertaining when they ignore the episode.

10:00 – Gammill’s body finding story is still going on.  His elderly neighbor was murdered, and the rumor around the building was that she was involved in selling untaxed cigarettes. 

11:00 – Now they’re joking about getting Gammill to confess. 

11:15 – After that winds down, Jean breaks the silence by asking Castellaneta if Krusty’s voice or Homer’s voice is more natural for him.  Answer: not really.

12:00 – Trivia bit: Lisa jokes in this episode that her imaginary Jewish friend got into Brandeis.  A few weeks later, they got a fake acceptance package from Brandeis.

13:00 – After a long silence where they just ignore the fact that Homer is now a successful talk show host, Jean asks Cruz about how many changes there were after the animatic.  Cruz doesn’t think it was unusually bad. 

13:45 – Kind of interesting note about the actual episode: Cruz sees Marge talking as Homer’s on TV, and wonders what the original line was because her mouth movements are clearly animated for something other than what she says. 

14:35 – Long silence is broken by brief laughter after Chief Wiggum describes Homer as “always eating”. 

15:00 – Homer has a dream where he saves Abraham Lincoln, and Jean thinks comedy writers have a little obsession with that.

15:20 – Jean breaks that silence by asking, “Any other interesting stories about Mr. T”?

15:45 – Caroline Omine just showed up.  They get back to Mr. T very quickly, eventually asking Omine if she has any stories: “None that I can share”.  Heh.  She did once see him signing the Mr. T comic at a book store.

16:40 – Oh yeah, we’re still talking about Mr. T.

17:15 – Apparently, Gary Coleman wasn’t enthusiastic about doing his catch phrase, but Mr. T had no problems pitying the fool.  Omine again, “He said, I get up in the morning, I brush my teeth, and I go, ‘I wonder what fool I’m gonna pity today!’.”  This gets a huge laugh, and deservedly so.

17:30 – They were about to discuss the commandments of Mr. T, but the Beach Boys are on screen now and that distracted them.

18:00 – Mr. T is finally on screen, and he was game for reading lines in Hebrew.

18:40 – Long silence.

19:00 – Homer’s talk show gets cancelled, and to break the above mentioned long silence, Jean mentions that he heard of a show that actually got cancelled mid-taping once.

19:20 – Smelling the credits, Jean talks about a Dick van Dyke episode about an adult bar mitzvah.

20:00 – More compliments for Mr. T as he gets spun on a giant menorah.  They originally had it as a Star of David, but changed it.  Jean jokes that it’s now “all in perfect taste”. 

20:45 – Jean tells a story about Jackie Mason, who is a real rabbi and was so funny during his sermons that people told him to go on stage.

21:05 – And we end with on last mention of Gammill’s dead neighbor and one more Castellaneta Jackie Mason impression. 


Quote of the Day

Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish9

“So, kids, caught anything?” – Dave Shutton
“Not yet, sir.” – Lisa Simpson
“What are you using for bait?” – Dave Shutton
“My brother’s using worms.  But I, who feel the tranquility far outweighs the actual catching of fish, am using nothing.” – Lisa Simpson


Quote of the Day

Lisa Gets an A4

“Oh, sweetie, you look so much better.  Ready to go back to school?” – Marge Simpson
“I don’t know, I mean I could risk it, but-” – Lisa Simpson
“No, no, you just stay put.” – Marge Simpson
“Wow, you didn’t even feel her forehead.  How do I get that kind of credibility?” – Bart Simpson
“With eight years of scrupulous honesty.” – Marge Simpson
“Enh, it’s not worth it.” – Bart Simpson

[Apologies this was late again.  (And how!)  Still have no internet at home and wow does it fuck everything up.]


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