Quote of the Day

The War of the Simpsons12

“I’ve been wanting to tell you off for years, but I never had the nerve.” – Homer Simpson
“I don’t know you.  My wife and your wife are friends.  We met just three hours ago.” – Guy
“You stink!  You and your whole lousy operation stinks, I quit!” – Homer Simpson
“Uh, gee, don’t, don’t quit.” – Guy
“Alright, then.” – Homer Simpson

17 Responses to “Quote of the Day”

  1. 1 Stan
    29 March 2014 at 11:04 am

    It’s not from this show, but I still think it’s the funniest drunk party dialogue I’ve ever seen (with all due respect to Charlie’s name of course – sic.)

    Glen Quagmire: Who wants to play drink the beer?
    Peter: Right here.
    [drinks beer]
    Peter: What do I win?
    Glen Quagmire: Another beer.
    Peter: I’m going for the high score.
    Glen Quagmire: Actually, Charlie’s got the high score.
    Charlie: Hey, your clock won’t flush.

  2. 29 March 2014 at 11:55 am

    Stan, this quote is better, ’cause it could actually happen.

    It’s on par with the college episode where Homer says, “Hey buddy! Did you get a load of the NERRRRRDD?”

    And the guy goes, “…pardon me?”

    • 29 March 2014 at 2:59 pm

      They’re both about the same, in my opinion. Family Guy’s quote works better with the cut to the scene included:

      Peter: “Lois, I swear, not a DROP of alcohol is going to touch these lips tonight!”
      (Smash Cut to party)
      Quagmire: “Hey, who wants to play ‘Drink the Beer’?”
      Peter: “Right here!”

      The Simpsons IS more realistic in it’s portrayal of getting drunk at a party (it causes Homer to go to a marital retreat), whereas FG is somewhat more cartoonish, whimsical and joke-heavy (Peter downs 37 beers and merely gets tired the next day, starting a plot that involves welfare fraud).

      It’s also a microcosm of my opinion that Classic Simpsons and Classic FG in general both sat at opposite sides of the cartoonish vs. realistic pole, yet still produced some quality TV. (Strangely, ZS and Modern Family Guy do something similar now; Modern Family Guy aims merely to gross out and shock in the same ways, while ZS tries to do satire, albeit without taking risks. Both shows are crap.)

      • 29 March 2014 at 3:03 pm

        Hmmm! Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter! :)

      • 6 Stan
        29 March 2014 at 3:22 pm

        My thoughts exactly. Except the reason why I brought that quote up initially is because when The War of the Simpsons came out I was too young to catch many of the jokes (and many implied that you live in US and see how people talk there to get them). When FG’s episode came out however, I was old enough to laugh at senseless North American way of partying literally “til you drop”, and by that time (1999-2000), FG was clearly funnier than the roots of ZS.

      • 7 Joe H
        29 March 2014 at 4:57 pm

        I think the only time they actually might have had that standing was during the first season of Family Guy in 1999. Since then, the Scully era went into full swing and vast majority of the episodes went the Family Guy route of “wacky adventures” minus much of the wit or subversive elements that made them work in the classic era.

        Family Guy inhabited an all-out cartoon universe since its inception, where anything could happen for the sake of a laugh, while merely putting on the front of being a typical family sitcom. Consequently outside the current series’ over-dependence on gross-out/offensive shock humor Family Guy tends to be harder to swallow when it tries to be serious, partially because it tends to be very blunt when bringing up a serious issue and partially because the series plays up emotional moments as setups for jokes so often that its hard to buy when its “earnest” about it. It also doesn’t help the last point in that much of the series humor involves demeaning and humiliating most of the characters, so squeezing anything truly emotional about them only works in short bursts.

        • 8 Rob K.
          29 March 2014 at 7:15 pm

          I hate what FG did to Meg (It’s like what The Simpsons did to Moe, Kirk and Nelson, also there is even a trope/topic in this on the website TV Tropes, regarding FG/Meg, I think) and anyway very true and well stated Joe.

          • 9 Stan
            29 March 2014 at 8:15 pm

            Meg wasn’t a strong character to begin with imo, but indeed what they transformed her into is simply atrocious. She gets constantly bullied by Peter, ignored by Lois, ridiculed by Stewie and Chris… and am I supposed to laugh at that? Seriously? It was meh the first time they did, the second time it was fucking tumbleweed. Every episode concerning Meg nowadays, even if she radically changes into someone she’s not, is like a booed guy on stage trying his best to keep performing all while evading rotten tomatoes.

            So in a nutmegshell, yes, it is possible to stop watching all of the Sunday animated sitcoms altogether. If they think it’s not, they’re mistaken. I go surf the internet and laugh at memes instead, some of which are 100 times funnier. In the 90s, maybe I’d have been doomed. But not today.

            • 10 Rob K.
              29 March 2014 at 9:05 pm

              Well said Stan! I have to add here that what the writers of FG did to Meg was horrible, the character they eventually turned her into after Season 2 or 3, esp. the FG episode where she becomes a Christian after getting chickenpox. Utterly disgusting!

              Also: The Simpsons writers turned Moe from a loveable loser into someone that is always suicidal, depressed and an emotional wreck, also a loner and horrible MORE mentally unstable then he was at first. And Nelson now is always poor, does not bully as much (maybe that’s a good thing?) and is softer and of course is almost as bad for poor, poor Kirk lol. Now Seth McFarlane and company have did this to Meg!

              Finally, before I play Amnesia: The Dark Descent tonight I will also say I love watching Simpsons reruns on Fox 32 Chicago here but many reruns have stuff cut out of them, that I eventually see here and am left confused but sometimes happy to see something I have never seen before :)

              • 11 Joe H
                29 March 2014 at 11:45 pm

                It’s kinda weird that way. Seems each show wants their own version of Hans Moleman or Kenny from South Park. Both characters are pretty much punching bags of sorts that we’re not really suppose to really feel sorry for despite actually getting killed off in several episodes.

                I definitely hate what they’ve done to Nelson. He actually is a more pathetic equivalent of Kenny now, except we’re actually expected to feel sorry for Nelson. That and Kenny was always kinda cool in his weird sort of way while willingly demeaning himself and accepting his poverty with stride. Nelson just cries and feels sorry for himself a lot these days, a real trashing of a character that was much more well-rounded in classic Simpsons episodes like “Bart on the Road”

              • 12 Stan
                30 March 2014 at 2:25 am

                Nothing beats a glass of warm milk with honey and some revealing pics of Dana Delany in her younger years.

            • 29 March 2014 at 9:12 pm

              Agreed on the first paragraph.

              Second paragraph, I do disagree. I actually like American Dad and Bob’s Burgers. The former is somewhat like early FG, while the latter seems to remind me of Classic Simpsons. Sadly, the former is moving to TBS, and the latter is not as well treated by FOX brass as FG and ZS.

              • 14 Stan
                30 March 2014 at 2:21 am

                I stopped watching AD about a year ago. It was that damn play parody episode starring Patrick Stewart and some Irish parodies. Fuck that shit, we saw about 1000 sissy interpretations of Roger, he ended up straight frustrating the shit out of me. But I have to admit that watching the first 6 seasons or so was entertaining indeed. And hey, it’s the best any ‘reasonable’ show could do anyway. Then they force it and have piles instead. Meh.

                • 15 Frank
                  31 March 2014 at 10:29 am

                  I haven’t watched AD in a while, but in the last episodes that I did watch, I hated what they did to Hayley. Turning her from a strong, sometimes arrogant, yet kind woman, into this emotional wreck who has no agency or personality other than being an extra appendage to some male, like Jeff or Stan or even Steve.

                  It’s like the writers found it impossible to accept a strong woman, so they had to destroy her. Ugh.

                  They’re doing the same thing in Season 5 of Archer to Lana.

                  • 31 March 2014 at 11:02 am

                    I think Archer is beginning to wear Pam out thin, no pun intended. And Mallory has been pretty much reduced to ‘nasty greedy old bitch’ by now, which doesn’t make her character as interesting or funny.

                    Also, it’s funny you’re talking about Stan Smith from AD in a response to Stan the poster/commentator. Hey, Stan, is that you’re real name, or are you named after an AD or South Park character? Or is it Stan the tyrannosaurus?

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