Archive for April, 2014



19
Apr
14

Quote of the Day

Homer's Night Out6

“Two hundred and thirty-nine pounds!  Oh, I’m a blimp.  Why are all the good things so tasty?” – Homer Simpson

18
Apr
14

Reading Digest: I Am Smoten Edition

Homer vs Patty & Selma12

“Sometimes I think God is teasing me, just like he teased Moses in the desert.” – Homer Simpson

Apologies for missing two consecutive weeks of Compare & Contrasts, but for the second straight week the eyetee gods decided to smite the hell out of me.  Chillingly, both incidents started on Tuesday and weren’t totally cleaned up until Thursday, which means I will be walking on eggshells until at least next Wednesday.  (Also, do not ever do business with Network Solutions “a web.com company”.  They are incompetent, sleazy, hugely overpriced, use phrases like “part of our vertical” without irony or embarrassment, and have atrociously poor security.  That is all.)

In further bad news, this week’s Reading Digest is pretty short because the internet seemed to spend most of the week circle jerking over the upcoming Zombie Simpsons/Lego episode.  All they did was release a promo image and a couple of self-congratulatory quotes about it, but everyone with access to a keyboard seemed to feel the need to write it up.  (It’ll be interesting to see if Lego can budge the ratings.  My guess is no.)  We’ve got one link to all that brouhaha, plus a great video about the recent Sylvain Chomet couch gag, some fan art, several good lists, more fashionable threads, and a couple of people who agree with us.

Enjoy.

Flooby Nooby: Sylvain Chomet’s making of ‘The Simpsons couch gag’ – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this short and enjoyable YouTube video:

The color was digital, but the drawings were done by hand.  No wonder it looked so good.   Also, watch to the end for Chomet’s joke, it’s funny.

Old Man Yells At Cloud* – Baseball nostalgics are the worst, and this is an enjoyable fisking of one with plenty of (mostly non-Zombie) Simpsons references to boot.

15 Sitcom Characters Who Might Be Broke If They Lived In The Real World – How affordable would all those living rooms with couches be?  It’s a neat graphic, but I don’t know where the hell they got Homer’s monthly income as $6,500.

The First 12 Episodes Of ‘The Simpsons’ To Begin Your Marathon With – An excellent and explicitly non-Zombie Simpsons list.

5 For Friday: The 5 Best TV Moments in The Simpsons’ Universe – Another excellent list, nothing even close to Zombie Simpsons.

25 Years of The Simpsons. And 5 Potential Spin-Offs… – A list of possible new shows that implicitly agrees with us (“I can’t even remember the last time I caught a new episode of The Simpsons”).

Over Easy Author Mimi Pond Interview – No real surprise here:

What was it like writing the very first episode (“Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”) of The Simpsons?

I don’t feel very good about that. I was friends with Matt Groening, and I’m still friends with Matt Groening. He was starting to have trouble with the producers of the show. I came in and they were having their troubles, and because I was friends with Matt, I wasn’t very welcome. And because I was a girl — it was a total boys’ club — and I wasn’t asked to be on staff. I was thrown off the gravy train and it took a couple of years to figure it out. But if it hadn’t been for that, my life would’ve been very different. I wouldn’t have worked on this book, and this was the book I was meant to write.

She certainly did a hell of a job with her one episode.

Desert Island ‘What TV series would you want stranded with you and a TV” taking you into the weekend – Couldn’t disagree with this:

I want to pose a question. Desert island style. What TV series would you take if trapped on a desert island with only a TV and DVD player. For me this was a no brainer. It’s The Simpsons.

TV Guide Magazine April 21-May 4 2014 – ‘The Simpsons’: Inside their LEGO episode – Want to read a craven, PR fluff job from the magazine that still writes like Time in 1962?  Have at it.

Simpsons and Joblessness – To be fair, it’s not like all those years of modern dance and tap help much either.

D’oh! Naperville Simpsons graffiti suspect caught – Just what it says.  He’ll probably have to clean highways in an orange vest for some number of hours now.  (via @woohootriviaCHI)

Look7in7: Meow, Meow. – Fan art of Kang (or Kodos) and a kitty.

The Simpsons used to nail it. – Heh.

BBQ Invention – Yes, Lisa, a magical animal (pulled bacon) – Mouthwateringly excellent usage:

I thought I’d start with the most exciting thing I’ve done recently, it could be a game-changer in the BBQ game, a dish that Victor Frankenstein may have created if he was into BBQ, I’ve combined a pork technique with a bacon technique…

Homer: “Lisa, honey, are you saying you’re never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?”
Lisa: “No.”
Homer: “Ham?”
Lisa: “No.”
Homer: “Pork chops?”
Lisa: “Dad! Those all come from the same animal!”
Homer[chuckling] “Yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.”

I’ve made…  PULLED BACON

The pig de resistance!

[5RTO] The Simpsons: Tapped Out – Five thoughts on the travails of playing Tapped Out while a parent.  Also, it is indeed very expensive.

The Evolution of Simpsons Games – A brief history of some Simpsons games.

Doing The Dirty Simpsons With Family Guy’s Quest For Stuff – The new Family Guy Tapped Out clone sounds very clone-ish.

Family Guy: The Quest for Stuff is corporate manipulation pretending to be a game – Yup.

“The Simpsons” Fashion Collaboration with Joyrich – More skinny models wearing high fashion Simpsons clothing.

Biggest TV Syndication Deals Besides ‘The Simpsons’ – Unsurprisingly, other shows retail for more per episode, but nobody has nearly as many episodes.

3 cartoon shows that adults can watch – The show comes in at #1, followed by South Park and Futurama.  Ah, it’s nice to see a concise list.

How did The Simpsons get so dumb? – Our old friend Stefan Grasso charts the show’s decline and calls its current state “Rock Bottom”, complete with graphic.

18
Apr
14

Quote of the Day

Marge vs. the Monorail12

“Maybe it’s time you joined the exciting field of monorail conducting by enrolling at the Lanley Institute.” – Lyle Lanley
“Actual institute may not match photo.” – TV Announcer

Happy birthday Conan O’Brien!  

17
Apr
14

Quote of the Day

Monty Can't Buy Me Love2

“I don’t know how you can all just lay around the house on a nice day like this.  When was the last time we went for a good, old fashioned family walk?” – Marge Simpson
“Oh, we stopped those when the kids said I was too fat to carry.” – Homer Simpson

16
Apr
14

Quote of the Day

Homer vs. The 18th Amendment10

“Aw, geez, this looks bad.  Better turn on the old Wiggum charm.” – Chief Wiggum
“Pervert!” – Helen Lovejoy
“Oh, boy, that sounded bad.” – Chief Wiggum

15
Apr
14

Quote of the Day

Two Bad Neighbors11

“I’m sorry I spanked your boy, Homer.” – Bush the Elder
“Woo-hoo!  In your face, Bush!  Now apologize for the tax hike.” – Homer Simpson

14
Apr
14

Behind Us Forever: Days of Future Future

Chalkboard - Days of Future Future

“Bart, you cast the wrong spell!  Zombies!” – Lisa Simpson

So, was this episode the Futurama crossover or not?  I didn’t see Fry or Leela, but there was a beer swilling robot and lots of inter-species relationships, so I’m not entirely sure.  Also, part of it was a coma fantasy or a dream sequence, but I don’t have access to an original script so I don’t know if those pages were on pink paper or goldenrod.

For those of you sage enough not to have watched it, we begin in the present when Homer dies.  Frink, and remember, this is supposed to be the present, brings in a clone of Homer to the funeral.  Homer then spends the next few minutes dying and coming back as a clone.  Eventually it’s thirty years from now and Homer becomes a computer program instead.  In that future, Bart is divorced from Amy Poehler, Lisa is married to Milhouse (who becomes a literal zombie because now they’re just fucking with me), and Marge eventually also becomes a computer program who gets eaten or something by Homer.  Seriously, the end is so confusing that they have Moe say that he doesn’t get it.

– Hey, the couch gag was short and clever for a change.

– Ah, for the days when Homer eating in his underwear was funny instead of a harbinger of boredom.

– “You’re alive, but how?” – Time to have things explained.

– We got to the death montage nice and quick.  It’s a completely unnecessary death montage, but at least they didn’t dawdle.

– Oh, look, there’s an incinerator-bot that looks like something that was reject from a Futurama storyboard back in 2003 or so.  Has Zombie Simpsons resorted to dumpster diving the Futurama offices?

– “All is not lost, I was able to download Homer’s brain into this flash drive.” – They know we’re pretty much as far from Halloween as it is possible to get on the calendar, right?

– Bart’s ex-wife is dating an Alien alien named Jerry.  I am not making this up.

– Okay, the “Cretaceous Park” sign (“Now Correctly Named”) was kinda funny.

– You know, all this talk of zombies reminds me that Ugly Americans had its moments.  It never quite got there, but it was a hell of a lot better than this.

– At least this Total Recall scene didn’t take long.

– It’s our second song montage.  The first one was Homer dying.  This one is Bart getting laid.

– Clown group sex, didn’t see that one coming.

– A robot drinking alcohol . . . where have I seen that before?

– It’s pure fan service and couldn’t hope to salvage even a little bit of this episode, but they have adult Maggie and Gerald sucking on a straw together.  It was quick and almost charming.

– Nice of Marge to pop out from behind that plant at Moe’s for an expository conversation about marriage with her kids.

– “Wait, Mom, does that mean you’re gonna take Dad back?”, see what I mean?

– So, Marge just digitized herself and was eaten by Homer.  Moe, speaking for all of us, says “I can’t tell if that was love, suicide or a really boring video game.”  The “really boring” part certainly applies.

– Oh, that couch gag was a fan idea.  No wonder it didn’t suck.

Zombie Simpsons likes to take any decent joke and run it into the ground with repetition, and this was them doing that on an episode scale.  A couple of seasons ago they did that “Holiday of Future’s Passed” episode where they did Christmas in the future.  I wasn’t a fan, but they got a little bit of positive attention from it, so the natural thing to do would be to go back and stretch everything there way past the breaking point.  It’s just their style.

Anyway, the ratings are in and they are unprecedentedly wretched.  Last night, just 3.59 million people hoped that this show gets canned sometime in the next thirty years.  That’s good for second lowest all time, bested only by the non-8pm slot “Diggs” episode from last month.  Seven of the ten lowest rated ever, including the entire bottom five, have been broadcast since January.




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