Archive for June, 2014

30
Jun
14

Quote of the Daye

The Day the Violence Died9

“I give up; there’s nothing we can do.” – Lisa Simpson
“Yeah, I agree.  You want to start on trying to get Apu out of jail?” – Bart Simpson
“Okay.” – Lisa Simpson

29
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Black Widower9

“I could’ve been the flower girl.  And I wouldn’t keep falling down either.” – Lisa Simpson
“Hey, they chose Maggie, okay?” – Bart Simpson
“Yeah, well if you want to go for cutesyness instead of competence, fine.” – Lisa Simpson

28
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

OverThere

“Over there!
Send the word
Send the word
Over there!
That the Yanks Are Coming
The Ya-ahhhh!” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

27
Jun
14

Reading Digest: Teaser Announcement Edition

Gabbo

“What’s Gabbo?” – Bart Simpson
“I figure it’s some guy’s name.  Some guy named Gabbo.” – Homer Simpson

It’s been relatively quiet around here the last few weeks.  I’ve had a Season 16 disc from Netflix sitting next to my computer since the beginning of the month, but haven’t yet gotten around to more Lies Make Baby Jesus Cry or anything else.  However, it was all in the service of something equally pointless: another little mini-book.  It’s much shorter than “Zombie Simpsons”, so even using the word “book” feels like a stretch, but it does have a cover:

Tapped In (640)

Thanks, Cessna!

In case my indirect and overlong title is confusing, it’s about The Simpsons: Tapped Out and it’s not flattering.  The full announcement post should go up on Tuesday of next week, though this thing has already taken so much longer than I originally intended that I wouldn’t carve that in stone or anything.  I sincerely hope you all like it, but I’ll forewarn you that it’s far more about the game than it is about the show.

For today, we’ve got a decent if somewhat skinny (it is summer, after all) link selection.  We’ve got a couple more play reviews, the possible origin of the Mathemagician, more Bartkira art, the artist currently known as Pitbull, and frickin’ bacon donuts.

Enjoy.

Mmm…collectibles: estate sale at home of Homer Simpson’s dad – Castellaneta’s father’s stuff is for sale in suburban Chicago today and tomorrow.  Click through for the drawing of Dan done by his dad.

My Tapped Out Anniversary – I didn’t make it a whole year, but I understand.  Keep up the good work.

Talk Tuesdays w/ Steve Reiss, The Math Magician and The Most Boring Author in San Diego – I did not know this, but apparently Mike Reiss has a brother who is a “Math Magician”.  Was he the basis for the man who tried to make a remainder disappear?

Who Is America’s Favorite TV Family? Answer Depends on Age, Gender and Political Affiliation – Well, mostly age.  As in, if you aren’t currently over 50, you probably like The Simpsons.

The Simpsons Challenge – 552 episodes of glory? – Todd, don’t do it:

So 552 episodes (currently) in 365 days should be pretty easy.  Much easier than my Doctor Who challenge (800 episodes some hour-long ones!).

It starts off as 1.51 episodes a day as a target.  I’m 44 episodes in, having rewatched all 1st and 2nd season episod

Quit at 11.  For pity’s sake, quit at 11!

Simpsons/Akira mashup Bartkira volume one released online – “Moe’s Bar”, yes!

INTERVIEW: ALISON WONDERLAND ON THE SIMPSONS AND HER SKYROCKETING SUCCESS – The kids remain alright:

You also post Simpsons screenshots pretty regularly on social media. If you could collaborate with one Simpsons character on a track, who would it be and why?

It’d be Otto!

Vocal sample?

Yeah, definitely! Or Barney burping, I could totally sample that. Tune it, make it an instrument. That would be kinda weird.

I asked The Game the same question and he said Maggie. He wants to sample her pacifier noise into a beat.

Oh, that’s sick. I wanna sample Barney’s burp.

On your next EP?

Okay, done! I’ll credit you.

In London, ‘Mr. Burns’ and ‘Adler & Gibb’ Stir Things Up; ‘Khandan’ Provides Relief – The official New York Times stamp of approval.

From the Bard to Bart: how Mr Burns challenges our common culture – And from The Guardian.

A Numerical Bart Simpson Snack Store in Hengyang – Don’t think FOX is getting a check for that.  I’m sure they’ll be okay.

VIDEO: Giant Duff Beer Pong With Pitbull And Jimmy Fallon – The title pretty much says it all.  This, by the way, does not detract from my theory that Pitbull is not a real person, but rather was created explicitly for the purposes of selling Dr. Pepper and Bud Light.

10 Hilarious Visual Gags from The Simpsons – Nary a trace of Zombie Simpsons.  Bravo.

Donut Sundae! – Apparently they serve donuts with ice cream at the amusement park in Florida.

Top Thirteen Female Characters – Honourable Mentions – Marge makes it between Belle and Jessica Rabbit.  Hopefully Lisa will make the actual list, which is counting down and hasn’t fully been published yet.

List O’ the Week: 20 Worst episodes of the Simpsons (Classic Era) – Part. 2 – Oof.

Has it ever happened to you, KalZ? – Heh.

Hot Smoked Salmon – Our old friend Gusface Grillah with an excellent paraphrase:

I don’t often eat salmon because the thought of having to wrestle a bear to snatch away his favourite delicacy frightens me.
But then I remembered the wise words of Homer Simpson, “Hey, if you want wild bears eatin’ your children and scarin’ your salmon, that’s your business. But I’m not gonna take it! Who’s with me?” (Unfortunately the bear patrol was as ineffective as a rock that keeps tigers away… ‘Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock’

Bacon Week Continued – Bacon Donuts – Homer would plotz.

Batman: Arkham Knight – 8 Reasons It Should End The Franchise – If you want to invoke pop culture zombies, there’s only one place to turn:

Sometimes one of the most amicable traits a creator of any entertainment property can show is restraint. Hell, just look at how perfectly Vince Gilligan knew how to handle Breaking Bad, as oppose to what remains of something like The Simpsons in 2014 being every possible plot thread has been pulled at until there’s nothing left.

Stop . . . stop, they’re already dead.

27
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Lemon of Troy12

“When it comes to catching trout, nothing beats the German light infantry.” – Nelson Muntz

26
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

The Germans

“Alright, Mr. Burns, you win.  But beware, we Germans aren’t all smiles and sunshine.” – Horst
“Ooh, the Germans are mad at me.  I’m so scared.  Ooh, the Germans.  Uh-oh, the Germans are coming to get me.  Oh, don’t let the Germans come after me.  Oh, no, the Germans are coming after me.  No, they’re so big and strong.  Oh, protect me from the Germans.” – C.M. Burns

25
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Team Homer13

“I can’t believe I got booted off the team for Mr. Businessman.  I bet I’ll get a little respect once I get that Harvard diploma.” – Otto

24
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Old Money7

“I can tell she really cared for me.  She didn’t make me a pallbearer.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

23
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Gravity

“Behold gravity, in all its glory!” – Milhouse van Houten
“Pretty lame, Milhouse.” – Mrs. Krabappel

22
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family9

“Oh, I’ll kill myself if Portugal doesn’t win.” – Homer Simpson

21
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

When You Dish Upon a Star2

“And I assume you’ve read the boat safety manual.” – U-Trawl Boat Rental Guy
“Oh, yeah, couldn’t put it down.  Come on, boy, let’s get me a six pack.” – Homer Simpson
“Ah, sir, you can’t operate a boat under the influence of alcohol.” – U-Trawl Boat Rental Guy
“That sounds like a wager to me.” – Homer Simpson

20
Jun
14

Reading Digest: Play Reviews Edition

Treehouse of Horror III10

“I’m dreading the reviews, I can tell you that.” – C.M. Burns 

Last week I mentioned that the post-apocalypse Mr. Burns play was opening in London.  Well, London being something of a theater loving town, we have a deluge of reviews this week.  Most are quite positive, some are decidedly not, but I suppose that’s life in showbiz.  In addition to that, the merchandising march continues, a couple of Simpsons alums do some charity work, there’s quite a bit of excellent usage, and people keep finding creative ways to use the Lego figures.

Enjoy.

Family Guy vs. Simpsons – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is a novel comparison.  It’s not about the shows, it’s about the freemium games and compares pretty much every aspect of them.

Simpsonesque : Douglas Coupland – “Worst. Person. Ever.” – There’s an actual novel called “Worst. Person. Ever”, which inspired this:

I suppose we’ve culturally transcended the point where Shakespeare or the Bible were good places to look for titles. It’s “The Simpsons”‘ turn to shine. I took a lot at some popular literary categories I use in this blog, and here are “Simpsons”-inspired titles for them.

There are some pretty good ones.  I’m fond of the “Romance” category getting “Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover” and “Theater” being “Is This the End of Zombie Shakespeare?”.

Drop Dean Clothing: Itchy & Scratchy Capsule Collection – Skinny pretty people wearing high falutin’ Simpsons clothes.  Again.

The internet sarcasm detector – Oh, that’s a real useful invention!

Save the Children Names New Giving Fund for ‘Simpsons’ Co-Creator Sam Simon – Simon continues to put all that Simpsons money to good use.

News :: Ay caramba! Charity poker event helps children – Meanwhile, Cartwright is hosting charity poker tournaments.

TV and film-themed sandcastles – Just what it says, with everything from the show to Monsters, Inc.

Life Lessons from The Simpsons – Excellent idea:

And our children have watched the Simpsons since they could see. In fact, when they were little and hadn’t figured out “time” yet, we’d explain longer car trips in terms of the equivalent number of Simpsons episodes.

Ay Caramba! 7 Lessons Event Organizers Can Learn From The Simpsons – Just what it says and not a trace of Zombie Simpsons.  Well done.

How Real Men Spend Father’s Day – Heh.

Geeky Lego Flower Pots – Star Wars, Lord of the Ring, and Simpsons all get the treatment.

Deadpool and Bobo verse the World – Well, the Lego world.

Why The Simpsons Is the Greatest Show of All Time – Those first ten years, yeah.

213. Duff – Another very “meh” review from an Aussie beer site.

D’Oh Nuts – You can now buy officially licensed “D’oh Nuts” in Britain, apparently.

Simpsons, Sedaris, and Story Structure – David Sedaris, fan of at least some Simpsons.

Groundskeeper Willie: My Not-So-Secret Crush – I’m not even gonna tell you what that guy’s into.

Licensing Business for Entertainment Biz Grew to $51 Billion in 2013 – Moar:

Products tied to not just Disney and Lucasfilm’s new “Star Wars” trilogy and spinoffs, but also Marvel’s “The Avengers: Age of Ultron,” Universal’s “Jurassic World,” and Warner Bros.’ “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” and following “Justice League” movies are expected to boost interest in film-based products over the next two years.
But so are anniversaries like “Ghostbusters’” 30th, “Gone with the Wind’s” 75th, and “The Simpsons’” 25th. Disneyland also turns 60, while Hello Kitty is celebrating 40.

Obligatory:

Playwright Anne Washburn enjoying ‘marmite’ appeal of the Almedia’s Mr Burns – And now we begin our extensive collection of play links with a Washburn publicity piece.

Mr Burns @ The Almeida Theatre Review – A very positive review calls it “one of this year’s theatrical highlights”.

A two and three quarter hour play based on a 20 minute cartoon – that sounds like a great id…D’oh. – A decidedly less positive review:

It is the kind of play that signifies its intent early, and the signs that title each act may as well have written on them that this is a ‘big play’ tackling ‘big themes’.

Review – Mr Burns at the Almeida Theatre – But as when it was on this side of the Atlantic, most of them are very taken:

For some of the first night reviews plastering broadsheets and blogs with flimsy star ratings failure was the first conclusion they jumped to and the one they stuck with, and I feel genuinely sorry that they missed out on one of the richest, most thought-provoking, imaginative, intricate, intelligent scripts, one of the most startling, dazzling designs, and one of the most accomplished creative teams I’ve witnessed at the theatre.

Mr Burns review – rebuilding the US on fragments of pop culture – This one is mostly happy, but I must take fierce exception to this:

Clearly Washburn is on to something in suggesting that, in the event of some future catastrophe, people would cling to their recollections of TV shows rather than Shakespeare or the Bible. But her play also suffers from its reliance on one particular episode of a cartoon comedy. Aficionados chuckle knowingly at every quotation from the original. If, however, you stumbled into the theatre knowing nothing of The Simpsons, you’d be totally lost.

First of all, if you’re going to a play that has “Mr. Burns” in the title, you don’t have a leg to stand on for complaints about not knowing the show.  More importantly, at this point not knowing The Simpsons is far worse in many circles than not knowing Shakespeare or the Bible.  Don’t we deserve plays too?

Mr Burns: ‘It’s not a play about The Simpsons’ – See?  The BBC knows it’s a ‘classic’:

The play begins with several survivors sitting around a campfire trying to recall their favourite episode of The Simpsons.
That episode turns out to be 1993 classic Cape Feare, in which Sideshow Bob – voiced by Kelsey Grammer – is released on parole and sets out to kill Bart, forcing the Simpsons into a witness protection programme. The entire plot was a riff on Martin Scorsese’s 1991 remake of Cape Fear.

Mr Burns, Almeida Theatre, review: ‘three hours of utter hell’ – In the above link, the playwright says that people tend to love it or hate it.  File this one under the latter:

I have to say that in this one respect the director Robert Icke does not disappoint. This is a play that appears to have been calculated not just to annoy, but to actually distress, discomfort and dehydrate audiences.

Hi-dilly-ho, neighborinos: Flanders is coming to Cork! – Enough of London, how about Ireland?  Harry Shearer just bought a house there, plus there’s some YouTube.

See ‘Simpsons’ Version Of Kim Kardashian Butt Selfie – For once, the celebrity butt kissing wasn’t done officially.

Homer Simpson thief part of gang raid on store – Pretty sure “Don’t Be Conspicuous” is one of the basics of robbery, so the Homer Simpson onesie might not have been a good idea.

Ochoa Wins Sideshow Bob Battle With David Luíz – Big puffy hair always brings out the Sideshow Bob in everybody.

7 WWE Superstars Who Were Probably Alcoholics – Excellent usage:

If you’re a fan of The Simpsons then you probably remember the episode where Homer jumped on a car and said this famous line: “To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.” It’s a funny line that’s also true in a lot of ways. It also applies to the wrestling business very well.

Weird cases: ‘Eye-watering’ Onionhead religion – More excellent usage:

Not everyone takes Homer Simpson’s attitude to employment. Addressing his boss, Mr Burns, Homer once said: “Listen to me, Mr Bigshot, if you’re looking for the kind of employee who takes abuse and never sticks up for himself… I’m your man.”

Feisty, yet spineless.

First Look: Glazed & Confuzed opens on Leetsdale – One more:

Doughnuts have long been associated with a cop’s favorite breakfast, but even Homer Simpson appreciates glaze and sprinkles: “Doughnuts. Is there anything they can’t do?” asked the famous patriarch of the Simpson family of cartoon characters.

Excellent usage.

City reveals a glimpse of planned downtown ‘Simpsons’ mural – It’s just a drawing of Maggie and Lisa on a bike, but it’ll probably look nicer on a wall with some personal style.

Real Springfield seeks artist for ‘Simpsons’ mural – And the call for submissions and proposals is out.

5 things that I just don’t like – And finally, I get to end with someone who explicitly agrees with us:

3.shows running for too long

Does anyone remember when the Simpsons or Spongebob has had a really great episode recently? yeah neither do i, and i understand why they want them to continue because hey they practically print money, but come on enough is enough just give us something new.

Amen.

20
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Bart After Dark14

“Wow, man, what is this place?” – Bart Simpson
“I prefer not to be called ‘man’.  My name is Belle, and this is the Maison Derriere.  That means the, uh, back house.” – Belle

Happy birthday Tress MacNeille!

19
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Mooning Fetus

“Hmm, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was trying to moon us.” – Dr. Hibbert

18
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer12

“I’m gonna go get some vegetarian chili before they get desperate and add meat.” – Lisa Simpson
“I’m gonna go claim some valuables at the lost and found.” – Bart Simpson

17
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Brother's Little Helper3

“I don’t want to pump my little boy full of drugs.” – Marge Simpson
“Yeah, yeah, we get a lot of that.” – Pharm Team Scientist

16
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

The Cartridge Family8

“It’s hard to believe this used to be an internment camp.” – Marge Simpson

15
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Burns, Baby Burns5

“Attention passengers, the train has been temporarily delayed because of a discarded couch on the tracks.” – Amtrak Engineer

14
Jun
14

Quote of the Day

Boy Scoutz 'N the Hood12

“You see anything yet?” – Chief Wiggum
“Nothing, captain.  Somebody took all the beer and cold cuts.” – Lou
“That’s it.  I’m not even casting off until we go to the store.” – Chief Wiggum

13
Jun
14

Reading Digest: It’s Not Supposed to Be Good Beer Edition

Colonel Homer13

“Duff, please.” – Homer Simpson
“We don’t sell Duff.  We sell Fudd. ” – Beer -N-Brawl Bartender
“Okay, Fudd me.” – Homer Simpson

This week we’ve got two links to Australian beer aficionados who were less than impressed with the recently released “Duff” beer.  Long story short, it’s meh at best and kinda gross at worst.  This is unsurprising, as crappy merchandise is crappy merchandise, even when it is infused with sweet, mind numbing alcohol.

More amusing, however, is the fact that Duff isn’t supposed to be good.  It’s supposed to be the kind of thing German executives consider swill, where you might find a rat, a syringe, or even Hitler’s head in a bottle.  They’re marketing it as a good beer because they have to.  Budweiser and Miller Lite are called good beers by the people who make them as well, but that doesn’t mean anybody believes it, and this “Duff” falls into the exact same category.

What makes it funnier is that, unlike Bud and Miller, Duff was originally intended to be crappy.  So, through no fault of their own, the merchandising pukes may have managed to finally, at long last, make something actually worthy of the show.  Duff is supposed to be barely drinkable piss, that’s why Homer drinks it, and they seem to have succeeded in bringing it to life.  Well done.

In other links, we’ve got fan painted nail art celebrating national donut day, Mike Reiss being a mensch, a quick Homer haiku, some comedy theory, and much more.  Plus there’s a couple of people who agree with us, one in an actual newspaper.

Enjoy.

The Top Simpsons Episodes – Smooth Charlie’s Link of the Week is this rundown of favorite episodes, one each from Seasons 2-10.  Plus there’s lots of good Youtube, a healthy dislike of Zombie Simpsons, and a great Hank Scorpio picture.  Well done lists are so much better than slapdash ones.

“To be thus is nothing, but to be safely thus” – The Mr. Burns play is now showing in London at the Almeida theater.  It opened yesterday and runs through July 26th.  The linked review is quite up on it.

Had enough of Duff – The Australian Duff would appear to not be very good:

But Duff isn’t a stock-standard lager. It’s a good deal worse than that. It starts off with an odd, slightly chemical flavour before some malt notes come barging in out of nowhere. Then the malt disappears, leaving that that odd flavour centre-stage.

Duff beer – Review – This one’s a little more positive, but still concludes:

Drinkable for a gimmick beer, but not something I’d frequently buy.

Sadly, they obviously didn’t make it as cheap as Duff is in the show.

“Don’t blame me. I voted for Kodos.” – Exploring the background and wisdom of one of Homer’s most famous political quotes.

TV: Saturday, June 14 – The Sydney Morning Herald is starting to sound like me:

Remember when The Simpsons was wet-your-pants funny? When every line sparkled with wit and pitch-perfect cultural references? This is the sort of episode that will have you pining for those far-off glory days. Its contrived plotlines barely hang together, and you’ll be looking at your watch long before the credits roll. First up, Grampa Simpson comes to live with the family after his nursing home is shut down. Then there is an abrupt change of gear with Bart sticking up for Nelson, for reasons that are unclear, and being invited to join the bullies’ gang. There follows a parody of a 1979 movie called The Warriors (nope, never heard of it either) and, at the last minute, an unsatisfying denouement that brings the stories together.

Brush With Greatness – Episode # 031 – After some computer problems, our old friend Ash is back.

Drop Dead Clothing unleashes Itchy & Scratchy collection onto unsuspecting world of music & fashion – Moar merchandise of the fashionable clothing variety.

Mackenzie Davis of ‘Halt and Catch Fire’ on AMC – And speaking of said clothing, here’s a New York Times actor profile that notes:

“I love seeing the insides of things,” Mackenzie Davis said, tucking her bleached bob behind her ears, a giraffe’s neck expanse above her slashed and safety-pinned Bart Simpson T-shirt.

The photo isn’t the best, but it would appear she’s wearing a Bartman shirt.  So I guess the retro-cool thing is working?

6 Reasons Why Springfield, Missouri, is Totally the Springfield from The Simpsons – One of the real Springfields makes its case to be the one from the show.

Soul Donut – Excellent nail art:

Here I tried to capture the dichotomy between the light and dark nature of the donut as a comment on the circularity of our lives. Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to paint horns and a halo on a pair of donuts? Who knows.

Devil Flanders is on the thumb, and the donuts of good and evil are on her fingers.  Bravo.

You Need to Hear This Extremely Rare Recording – Nice take on how Comic Book Guy changed from when the show started even just to Season 8.

Zombie Simpsons Longboard Custom – Zombie Bart on a longboard for sale in Peoria.

It’s National Doughnut Day, So Here’s The Best ‘Simpsons’ Food GIFs – There’s more than a little Zombie Simpsons in here, but most of them are good.

National Doughtnut Day – And here’s some Homer donut images.

homer – A Homer haiku.

Summer Travels: Meeting Semi-Famous People – Mike Reiss, nice guy:

During my stay, one of the Simpsons writers, Mike Reiss, was giving a talk at the State Museum in Harrisburg, and we went to see him. After the show, he signed this postcard for me and drew a cute little picture. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be Bart or himself.

To be fair, he’s a writer, not an animator.

Top 5 Television Shows… – Once again, Zombie Simpsons spoils the show:

2. The Simpson’s – The longer this series goes on, the more I think I may have to drop this one from my list.

Go away, Zombie Simpsons.  Nobody likes you.

Arriving In Style. – Nicely artsy photo of a little model Homer car.

Incongruity Theory: Why a well-timed Banana peel can be hilarious – Exploring incongruous comedy with Sideshow Bob and his arch nemesis: rakes.

In Sight – Excellent reference:

I found myself becoming so involved with the piece that when it finally finished I had to take a moment to collect my thoughts! Ok, I know what you guys thinking; That’s a bit lame, we thought you were cool, you changed mannnnn. But let me stop you right there! I have not changed! I’m still cool, China’s still cool.

Homer SEAmpson – Lego Homer by the beach.  But what will the remote work?

Aquaman in Blinky’s Revenge – Heh.

The Simpsons Tapped Out: The Definitive Simpsons Video Game – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us.  In this case, it’s not only about the show, but also about Tapped Out:

However all this fondness can only last so long, and sadly the best the game has to offer is over once the original 20 levels have been completed. The loose storyline of Homer reuniting with his family finishes at this point; the game continues without real purpose and reveals the most striking resemblance it has with the series. The only true objectives from here on out are to continue building and participate in the next seasonal event; things continue but the heart and soul of the project has ended. Like the show itself, plot lines become more zany and nonsensical  (if not downright forgettable) and the family themselves spend less time together and more time with their secondary, tertiary and one-line gag cohorts to keep churning out more content (the Yes-Man comes to mind here…).

Indeed he does.




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