“I’m serious! You never finished painting the garage.” – Marge Simpson
Archive for July, 2015
17
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
16
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Marge, can I get some change for the candy machine?” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, here!” – Llewellyn Sinclair
“Hey, there’s some quarters in here.” – Homer Simpson
15
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Have you ever read The Boy Who Cried Wolf?” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
“I glanced at it. Boy cries wolf, has a few laughs, I forget how it ends.” – Bart Simpson
Sorry for the late quote.
14
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Actually he’d be staying in France, in a lovely chateau in the heart of the wine country.” – Principal Skinner
“But Bart doesn’t speak French.” – Marge Simpson
“When he’s totally immersed in a foreign language, the average child can become fluent in weeks.” – Principal Skinner
“Yeah, but what about Bart?” – Homer Simpson
“I’m sure he’ll pick up enough to get by.” – Principal Skinner
13
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Whoa, a talking dog! What were you guys smoking when you came up with that?” – Otto
“We were eating rotisserie chicken. Can you just read the line, please?” – Not David S. Cohen
Happy birthday David S/X Cohen!
12
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“I don’t care if it takes me all night, I’m gonna get me that lobster harmonica! C’mon, Lobsty! . . . Oh.” – Otto
11
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Homer, I have to go out to pick up something for dinner.” – Marge Simpson
“Steak?” – Homer Simpson
“Money’s too tight for steak.” – Marge Simpson
“Steak?” – Homer Simpson
“Sure, steak.” – Marge Simpson
10
Jul
15
How About Some GIFs?
“It’s that horrible Mr. Burns, isn’t it?” – Not Eunice
“You leave Mr. Burns out of this!” – Streetcar Smithers
“Smithers! Smithers!” – Streetcar Burns
Apologies, but there won’t be a Reading Digest today, once again on account of my stupid real job. However, please enjoy this .gifs that I don’t think I put on the site:
10
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Okay, here’s the deal: crowns and doubloons are mine, snuff boxes and cameos are yours. Now, as for wands and scepters-” – Bart Simpson
“It’s a bottle cap.” – Lisa Simpson
“Jewel encrusted?” – Bart Simpson
09
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Come on, Mom, you never treat yourself to anything.” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, sure I do, I treated myself to a Sanka not three days ago.” – Marge Simpson
08
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Welcome, welcome, welcome to an evening of exciting quarter mile action, action, action! Our first race is a benefit for daredevil Lance Murdock, Murdock, Murdock, who’s hospitalized with cirrhosis of the liver, liver, liver!” – Springfield Dragway Announcer
07
Jul
15
Shearer Not Gone After All
“In that family, nobody trusted nobody. They even brought their lawyers to Thanksgiving dinner.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Harry Shearer has decided to keep doing voices for Zombie Simpsons:
Harry Shearer returning to The Simpsons
You don’t really need to click that link, it’s mostly nothing and even repeats the dubiously sourced $300,000 per episode number, but it’s been confirmed by a couple of other outlets. The article also says that Shearer signed the same contract as the other five cast members, which (if true) means that money really wasn’t the issue and Shearer really did think the show was preventing him from doing other projects. Jean took to Twitter to explain:
I would like to clear up a misunderstanding. I have recently been told that during a period where Harry Shearer believed he had a five week free period from the Simpsons, I was unaware of this fact, and did in fact request material from him. If so, my bad. I am truly glad he is returning to the show.
This is the public explanation for Shearer’s abrupt “I’m leaving” announcement in May, that Jean had asked Shearer to work during a time Shearer thought he was on break, so he balked at signing an extension. If it seems a little bizarre that it took them eight weeks to sort out something as simple as that, well, that’s because it is bizarre.
Maybe relations between Shearer and the show are strained to the point that it really did take them this long to clear up something that can be described in two and a half Tweets (Shearer’s original announcement quoted a letter from a lawyer, so they may indeed be at the “acrimonious divorce” stage of communication). Maybe there was a negotiation, and while Shearer may be getting the same money he also now has a better deal in terms of hours and flexibility. Maybe Jean’s telling the truth, and it really was just an honest mistake.
Whether Jean is spinning for his bosses or accurately describing this whole big saga doesn’t really matter, however. Shearer will continue to phone in his voices, and Zombie Simpsons will continue its mediocre ways.
07
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Homey, here are the responses from the colleges you applied to.” – Marge Simpson
“D’oh! D’oh! D’oh! Woo-hoo, a flyer for a hardware store!” – Homer Simpson
06
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“I just think you and Jessica are too different from each other to get along. She’s a sweet, kind reverend’s daughter, and you’re the Devil’s cabana boy.” – Lisa Simpson
05
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Reverend Lovejoy, you’ve come to comfort me?” – Dream Bart
“Yes, Bart. There, there. There, there.” – Dream Lovejoy
04
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“It’s just not a dinner party without a melon baller. And we’ll need a citrus zester, a ravioli crimper,…ooh, an oyster mallet! Made in USA? No, thank you.” – Marge Simpson
03
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Mom! I found Sideshow Bob’s hideout and I got a secret message to the police and I had a blimp fall on me and I was in an atomic blast but I’m okay now!” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, I wrecked the gate but you don’t hear me bragging.” – Homer Simpson
Happy birthday Yeardley Smith!
02
Jul
15
Reading Digest: Pancakes Edition
“This is gonna be the best birthday breakfast Mom ever had.” – Lisa Simpson
“Hey, Lis, you think that’s enough for her?” – Bart Simpson
“Maybe one more.” – Lisa Simpson
Since the Fourth falls on a Saturday this year, making tomorrow a de facto holiday, here’s Reading Digest a day early. The holiday mean that it’s shorter than usual, but we’ve got several excellent pieces of fan art, an unofficial Lego house, and pancakes, pancakes, pancakes!
Enjoy.
The Big Lebowski vs. The Pin Pals: Who Wins a Fictional Bowling Game? – He had to exclude Otto and Burns to make the teams even, but the analysis here is pretty good:
Like his personality Sobchak blows hot and cold so you never know what you’re going to get. If Cynthia’s dog is taken care of and his laundry is clean, he could put up a 250. If the slightest little iota is out of order, he might not break 100.
A Rick and Morty Season 2 promo trailer is here. Apparently this first look trailer for Rick and Morty Season 2 aired during The Simpsons Season 26 finale but Rick and Morty fans are only just noticing its existence. Does anyone still watch The Simpsons?
Not really, no. In other news, I am looking forward to more Rick and Morty.
The Future of TSTO game – Pt. 1 – The main Tapped Out site is expanding to cover other topics. Having been off Tapped Out for a year and a half now, I find this amusing:
Step-by-step instructions on how to proceed in an event. While we know this information is helpful to our readers, it is one of the least enjoyable topics to write about. As events become more complicated and cumbersome, this process become more of a chore.
Nothing says “fun” like “complicated and cumbersome”.
I Got In Touch With People Who Abused Me Online To Ask Why – A BuzzFeed writer wrote about never having watched the show, and, being female, got death and rape threats. One dude finds a bit of absolution for it.
7 Reasons to Visit San Francisco – Scroll to #6 for some excellent Simpsons art.
LISTEN: The Simpsons – ‘The Call Of The Simpsons’ Review – You ever know a siren to be good?
Danny Elfman on Film Scores, ‘Simpsons’ and Working With Tim Burton – Every time there’s an interview with Elfman, he tells the story basically the same way:
I told Matt Groening, “If you want something contemporary – television contemporary – I’m not the guy.” ‘Cause I didn’t understand TV themes in the Eighties at all. “If you want something really retro, I’m the guy.” ‘Cause it felt like a Hanna-Barbera cartoon that never was, and there was something reminiscent of The Flintstones: going through the city, even though Fred Flintstone was running and Homer’s driving the car. And he said, “Yeah, that’s what I’m looking for.” I wrote it in my head in the car on the way back. By the time I got home from the meeting it was all done. I ran downstairs, recorded a demo, sent it out, got a call back, Matt says, “Yeah, great.” It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
DOH-ceptively spacious – Fan made mini-version of the Simpsons Lego house. Well done.
HOMIE – Fan made drawing of Homer with an alien piercing his skull. Neat.
We Got Presidential Hopeful Ted Cruz To Do An Audition For “The Simpsons” – As I said on Twitter, he butchers the “magical animal” setup, but overall he isn’t terrible. The .gifs, especially Twirling for Freedom, will come in very handy if he wins the nomination.
Max (movie)…In 10 Words – We’ll get you a new dog, one with an untwistable psyche!
Ted 2…In 10 Words – Hug, him, squeeze him, tug at his fur.
▶ Pancake Art – Homer Simpson (Simpsons) Easy – This doesn’t look all that easy to me, but I can’t draw for squat:
There are also videos for Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. Bravo.
02
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Now, you’re ready to make pretzels. Open your bag of ingredients . . . ugh, check for . . . millipedes, ugh.” – Frank Ormand
01
Jul
15
Quote of the Day
“Lisa! The cops are chasing me, I need a place to hide!” – Nelson Muntz
“Lisa’s window is the next one.” – Homer Simpson
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken