Archive for October, 2015



14
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Homer Goes to College19

“I’m sorry, boys, I’ve never expelled anyone before.  But, that pig had some powerful friends.” – Dean Bobby Peterson
“Oh, you’ll pay!  Don’t think you won’t pay!” – Richard Nixon

13
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Lisa the Beauty Queen13

“Did you see Tine Epstein?” – Pageant Contestant #1
“Whoa, if you’re gonna binge, you better purge.” – Pageant Contestant #2

12
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Complaints

“Hey, man, if the line’s this long, it’s gotta be good.” – Bart Simpson
“Get bent.” – Complaints Window Lady

Doris Grau would’ve been 91 today.  Happy birthday!

11
Oct
15

Sunday Preview: Puffless

Puffless_promo_1

Upon learning that their father really died of lung cancer, Selma and Patty agree to quit smoking. When Selma relapses, an angry Patty moves in with Marge and Homer

Yo-Yo Ma will guest star as himself tonight, which is probably because it is conceivable that his guest appearance would be even more meaningless if he played a random character.  Apparently the sub-plot involves an adventure for Maggie in the animation style of “The Longest Daycare”, so prepare for that to be ruined.  Also of note is that even though I am getting considerably lazier about doing these previews, as impossible as that would seem, I am not the only one. The above image was the only usable one I could find during a 15 minute search. I couldn’t find a promo image of the A plot at all. Again I searched lazily, so there is probably something out there, but I have exhausted my effort looking for something that is usually readily available. End of rant.

11
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Bart Gets an F10

“Bart!  You haven’t been paying attention to a word I said, have you?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Yes, ma’am.” – Bart Simpson
“Well then, what did I say?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Uh . . . straighten up and fly right?” – Bart Simpson
“That was a lucky guess!” – Mrs. Krabappel

10
Oct
15

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Bart the Murderer22

“For the next week, I stayed alive by eating my mother’s delicious preserves; and maintained my sanity by dribbling a nearby basketball with my one free hand.  I made a game of it, seeing how many times I could bounce the ball in a day, then trying to break that record.” – Principal Skinner

There are usually a lot of easy to spot differences between something that’s done slapdash and something that’s done with creative care.  Among the more subtle, are the little, inconsequential details that let you know that the people behind something genuinely gave a shit about what they were doing.  There are plenty of these in “Bart the Murderer”, but I wanted to quickly point out two of them.

The first is the look on Bart’s face above.  After being force to lick envelopes for the PTA, Bart correctly pointed out that seeing how many he could lick in an hour and then trying to break that record was “a pretty crappy game”.  But there’s Skinner, every inch the earnest dork we know and love, following his own advice in a much worse situation.  Bart, manacled and in no mood for lessons from Skinner, rolls his eyes and gives it a classic “whatever” look.

Bart’s reaction is on screen for about two-tenths of a second, and it isn’t the least bit necessary.  The callback is plenty, but because the writers, animators and director cared about every frame, we get a lighting fast Bart reaction that probably no one noticed until their second or third viewing.

The other comes during the mob summit, as we pan across the over-boss’s league of goons.  First we get the arsonist and the guy stabbing the table:

Bart the Murderer24

They both look like tough and unscrupulous characters, and they perfectly set up Goon #3, who is playing the most intense game of jacks ever:

Bart the Murderer23

This guy is on screen for about two seconds while we hear his boss castigate Fat Tony.  Like Bart’s reaction, it doesn’t in any way need to be there.  But it’s quick, unobtrusive, and gives the scene and the episode just a little more depth.  Finishing touches like that pervade great Simpsons episodes, helping each one to be far more than the sum of its parts.

10
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Bart the Murderer21

“Now, please, please!  I can assure you we’ll be using the most advanced, scientific techniques in the field of . . . body finding.” – Chief Wiggum

09
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

ExtraDrowsy

“I shouldn’t have shaken hands with those old people.” – Mayor Quimby
“I hope that flu doesn’t affect his performance.” – Lisa Simpson
“Don’t worry, he’s taken a million of these capsules.” – Bart Simpson

08
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Bart Sells His Soul14

“I know that’s funny.  But I’m just not laughing.” – Bart Simpson
“Hmm, Pablo Neruda says laughter is the language of the soul.” – Lisa Simpson
“I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.” – Bart Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Bart Sells His Soul”!  Original airdate: 8 October 1995

07
Oct
15

Numbers Coming Up Short

Bart the Genius13

“We’ve got a stowaway, sir.” – Not Peter Lorre
“I’ll pay!  How much?” – Dream Bart
“Twice the fare from Tucson to Flagstaff minus two-thirds of the fare from Albuquerque to El Paso!” – Dream Martin

I didn’t watch last week’s Zombie Simpsons episode; I did watch this week’s, but ran out of steam long before I could write a whole post about it.  Long story short, “Cue Detective” has a meandering and incoherent story (that apparently involves alien technology that fell to Earth, but nevermind), lots of exposition to explain that story (plus whatever hapless jokes got stapled to it), and plenty of filler to take up those contractually obligated twenty minutes of airtime.  If you haven’t seen it, you aren’t missing anything.  If you have seen it, well, at least you don’t have to watch it again.

I do plan to get back to Behind Us Forever and Compare & Contrast posts, but my stupid real job has been eating all my time and energy.  Un/fortunately, there are new episodes for at least the next three weeks, so I’ll have plenty of opportunities.

Before we get to the ratings for Zombie Simpsons, we should pause for a moment to note that network teevee, which has been ailing for a long time, may now be entering serious death throes:

Networks have always banked on Premiere Week as an interval of peak sampling, but Tuesday night’s PUT (or people using television) levels were discouraging. The number of adults 18-to-49 watching primep-time programming dropped 8% versus the year-ago period and overall usage in the demograhic for the last two nights is down 10%.

But the most disconcerting PUT data concerns younger viewers, who are ditching traditional TV faster than anyone could have anticipated. TV viewing among adults 18-to-24 is now down 20% versus the first two nights of the 2014-15 season, and male usage in that age range has withered by nearly a quarter (24%). While last fall was blighted by disappearing female viewers, this year it’s the menfolk who are pulling the old Invisible Man routine. Per Nielsen, male 18-to-34 PUT levels over the last two nights are down 18%.

First of all, AdAge, Jebus, run a spell checker.  Second, if that’s the best the networks can do during premier week, before people even realize how crappy most of the shows are, you’ve got to start wondering if there will even be a premier week ten years from now.  That’s a lot of valuable spectrum that’s not serving a whole lot of people, and advertisers seem to finally be getting sick of paying big bucks to reach a shrinking and difficult to measure audience.  FOX has an option on Zombie Simpsons that goes through Season 30, I wonder if it’ll outlive its medium?

With that grave decline in overall network television audience in mind, let’s take a look at the numbers for Zombie Simpsons:

TV Ratings Sunday: ‘CSI’ Finale Up, ‘Once Upon A Time’ Down + ‘Quantico’ + ‘Last Man on Earth’ – “Every Man’s Dream” was swiftly forgotten by just 3.26 million viewers.  That is very ungood.  It took Season 26 until February to post a number lower than that, and premiers have been in the 6-8 million range the last few years, so that number is basically in freefall.  Last year’s premier, which admittedly had a football lead-in, scored 8.50 million viewers, and was 3.9rating/11share among the nuts and gum set.  This year was 1.5/5.

TV Ratings Sunday: ‘The Good Wife’ premieres lower, ‘Quantico’ holds in week 2 – “Cue Detective” had a football lead-in, and fared better than the premier, but still only had “6 million” (no decimals at the link) viewers.  Football lead-ins last year were in the seven million range this early in the year, so that’s down too; and the nuts and gum numbers are 2.6/8, also down from last year’s first football lead-in.

Two data points do not make a trend, but things are looking grim for the numbers this year.  Oh, and there’s no football lead-in this Sunday.

07
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

NeighborhoodResidents

“The following neighborhood residents will not be killed by me.  Ned Flanders.  Maude Flanders.” – Sideshow Bob
“Oh, isn’t that nice?” – Ned Flanders

06
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Marge on the Lam12

“Hi, Marge, I was wondering if you had a power sander I could borrow?” – Ruth Powers
“Homer?” – Marge Simpson
“Nope.” – Homer Simpson
“That’s one right there.” – Marge Simpson
“Alright, but remember: it’s mine.” – Homer Simpson

05
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Itchy and Scratchy - The Movie8

“I really don’t see how this helps Bart.” – Marge Simpson
“Just do it!” – Mrs. Krabappel

04
Oct
15

Sunday Preview: Cue Detective

Cue_Detective_promo_6

Scotty Boom, a Chew Network super-chef, challenges Homer to a smoke-off. But when someone steals Homer’s secret weapon – a smoker he bought off a mysterious man at a BBQ shack – Lisa and Bart are on the case.

Edward James Olmos and Bobby Moynihan guest star tonight, but I doubt it will be as entertaining as it should be to cross Battlestar with seven years of SNL.  Fun fact for the week: my dog is named Craigory James Olmos (we call him Craig).  Obviously he is named after the elder guest star we have tonight.  So I got that goin’ too!

04
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

DoctorRecommended

“Obesity is really unhealthy, any doctor will tell you that!” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, yeah?  Well, we’ll just see about that, little miss smart guy.” – Homer Simpson
“My God, that’s monstrous!  I’ve never heard of anything so negligent.  I’ll have no part of it.” – Dr. Hibbert
“Can you recommend a doctor who will?” – Homer Simpson
“Yes.” – Dr. Hibbert

03
Oct
15

Saturday Morning Cartoons

When Flanders Failed13

“Don’t you think you should get a little fresh air and maybe some exercise?” – Marge Simpson
“Yeah, but what are you gonna do?” – Bart Simpson

In the early days, when the show routinely came in for social criticism from cranky old people, the writers liked to use Marge as a way to shoot back.  The most famous example of this was “Marge’s” letter to then First Lady Barbara Bush, but they often worked it into episodes as well.

The quote above comes right after Marge asks Bart how many hours of TV he watches per day, and he casually replies “Six.  Seven if there’s something good on“.  That’s the show heaping scorn on brow-furrowing magazine articles and solemn pieces on 60 Minutes and the like about how television is terrible.  It then really drives the point home:

WhenFlandersFailed3.png

“Marge, TV gives so much and asks so little.  It’s a boy’s best friend.” – Homer Simpson
“That’s the problem.  Even as we speak, millions of children are staring at the TV instead of getting some much needed exercise.  Those children’s parents should be ashamed of themselves.” – Marge Simpson

This is The Simpsons being meta before that was even a term people used.  Marge is parroting all the criticisms, while Homer is listing the simple reasons those critics will always be ignored.  The whole thing ends with Homer asking Marge to apologize to the television after it gives Bart the idea to enroll in karate class.

Despite being on teevee, The Simpsons is perfectly happy to agree that television is terrible for people.  It just isn’t going to pretend to care.  What it is going to do is make fun of people who do care by showing how utterly ineffective all their shame throwing is.  The joke, as with so many of their best, is on all of us.

03
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

When Flanders Failed12

“Homer, this is the Flanders’ entire living room set.  How much did you pay for this?” – Marge Simpson
“Only seventy-five beans!” – Homer Simpson
“Seventy-five dollars?  Ned must be desperate.” – Marge Simpson
“I’m sure you did nothing to discourage this, you scavenger of human misery.” – Lisa Simpson
“Hey, keep your hands off my china hutch!” – Bart Simpson

02
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Two Dozen and One Greyhounds15

“Okay, you can go out and play, but no more you-know-what in front of the house, alright? . . . Hey!  What did I just say?” – Marge Simpson

Happy birthday, Mike Scully!

01
Oct
15

Quote of the Day

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily14

“Remember how Mom used to microwave our underwear on cold days?” – Bart Simpson
“Or the way Dad used to call the radio station with fake traffic tips?” – Lisa Simpson

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily”! Original airdate 1 October 1995.




E-Mail

deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

The Mob Has Spoken

Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Ah Hee Hee Hee on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Ezra Estephan on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch
Anonymous on Homeronymus Bosch

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Reruns

Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.