06
Mar
17

Behind Us Forever: Kamp Krustier

Kamp Krusty21

“Krusty, this camp was a nightmare. They fed us gruel. They forced us to make wallets for export. And one of the campers was eaten by a bear!” – Bart Simpson
“Oh my God!” – Krusty the Klown
“Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat.” – Bart Simpson
“Was it a nice hat?” – Krusty the Klown
“Oh yeah.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh my God!” – Krusty the Klown

It will come as no surprise to readers of this site that Zombie Simpsons is dumb and derivative. It’s been coasting off the legacy of The Simpsons for well over a decade now, and it’s got to scratch and claw at the worn out bottom of a wormy barrel for story ideas that have maybe only been done once or twice before. That brings us to “Kamp Krustier”, this week’s attempt to squeeze people’s fond memories for just a little more attention.

The episode opens with a title card reading, “A short while ago, in Season 4…”. This is, presumably, to let us know that they know how absurd it is to have a direct sequel episode a quarter of a century after the original. (It doesn’t help.)

From there, we see Santa’s Little Helper wandering around the house, past discarded items of Homer and Marge’s clothing. We then see him walk past the kitchen, which is trashed and in which Maggie is resting in a chicken bucket. Eventually he gets outside to find Homer and Marge humping in the treehouse, after which Homer literally bangs a gong he produces from nowhere.

zombieintimacy

Now, I don’t want to blow this out of proportion, and I recognize that they’re under no obligation to faithfully recreate things from Season 4, but even this first scene is telling about how much the comedy of this show has gotten dumber since then. If there’s one thing Simpsons Marge would never, ever do, it’s let the house become a trashdump like this and leave Maggie completely unattended.

We know this because we were shown the exact same scene (literally) in Season 4. Homer and Marge get extra frisky while Bart and Lisa are gone in “Kamp Krusty”, and the house looks fine and Maggie is being watched.

comedyintimacy

Look at the above: Homer and Marge are still getting it on, but Marge hasn’t suddenly forgotten who she is just so the show can have Homer crow about sex like a twelve-year-old who just learned what the word means. On The Simpsons, it’s clear that Homer and Marge’s lives got easier and more fun without Bart and Lisa around, on Zombie Simpsons they just default down to a trashed house because that’s the simplest and most outrageous thing they could come up with. That it’s something Marge’s character would never do doesn’t enter into their thinking.

Don’t get me wrong, the opening didn’t ruin the episode or anything (the rest of the script is more than capable of that), it’s just a perfect, 1:1 comparison of how vacuous the show is now and I couldn’t pass it up.

As for what actually happens in “Kamp Krustier”, well, the kids come back and get sent to a therapist where Bart fakes being traumatized so as not to go to school while Lisa pretends not to be traumatized so she can go to school. Meanwhile, in the other plot, Homer becomes ultra-smart and productive at work after he and Marge can’t screw 24-7 anymore. No, it doesn’t make sense. And no, neither really get resolved.

– Continuing with the whole “let’s show a dumbed down version of twenty-four seasons ago”, here’s a couple of screen grabs from what “Kamp Krusty” would look like if they did it today:

RiderOfVulture

Yes, that is Bart riding a vulture. Please laugh.

 – While riding the vulture, Bart burns four children alive, screaming “Death to tennis camp”. It’s weird.

– Krusty is dropping the kids off and Milhouse is sucking his thumb and so is Kirk.

– Now we’re at a group therapy session where Bart realizes he can get out of school. Outside, Skinner walks up out of nowhere to complain that the therapist parked him in:

Skinner: Uh, somebody parked me in. Toyota Corolla. It’s got to be one of you.
Therapist: Try the karate studio.
Skinner: I tried the damn karate studio.
Therapist: Ugh, alright, it’s me. I blocked you in, okay?

Then it ends.

– Homer’s trying to get it on with Marge, but she shoots him down and then Bart shows up to sleep in their bed for some reason.

– At breakfast, Marge is reading a pamphlet on Bart’s trauma:

Marge: This pamphlet on trauma they gave Bart is very alarming. Loss of appetite. Thousand yard stare.
Bart: Not hungry.
Marge: Where are you looking?
Bart: A thousand yards away.

Expository repetition comedy, brilliant.

– In a nod to their favorite kind of dialogue, there’s an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon with an expository intro.

– Homer getting to work early because Bart is still sleeping in his parents’ bed. Suddenly, Homer’s smart and tells us that it’s because he’s sexually frustrated.

– In a twist we probably could’ve done without, Bart’s having a nightmare about camp, wakes up to tell the audience, “My God, I really am traumatized”. He then goes to Lisa’s room in the middle of the night:

Bart: Lis! Lis!
Lisa: Can it wait till morning?
Bart: Sure. [morning comes] Lis! Lis!
Lisa: Thanks for waiting till morning!

Bart then tells Lisa about a dream he had so she can explain what’s going on:

Lisa: It’s coming back to me too! Whatever happened must’ve been so horrible we repressed the memory. But don’t tell, because they’ll make me miss school.

Thanks for the recap, Lis.

– Homer being smart montage.

– The kids are now at an amusement park where Lisa exposits her trauma and tells us she’s riding a ride while she’s riding it.

– Marge tries to seduce Homer, but he shoots her down and pulls a theremin out from nowhere.

ComedyTheremin

And now, the punchline: “I said therapy, not Theramin!” [rimshot]

 – We’re now at the “Masters and Johnson Institute”, which has a sign outside reading “If We Weren’t Doctors, We’d Be Arrested”, which is so far the only funny thing in this episode. Well done, sign gag.

– Homer and Marge are now in a sex therapy session with Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan from Masters of Sex, a show I have no particular opinion on since I only made it through about four episodes. They also tell us exactly what we’re seeing.

– Moe then shows up to masturbate with a robot in the hallway outside the therapy room. He orgasms behind a pebble glass window, and the show reaches what may be a new low.

MoeOrgasm

“Alright, I just finished. Deviant out.” That’s what he actually says. 

 – For reasons that I’m sure were explained, the Simpsons go to Kamp Krusty at night to discover that it’s now an adult retreat.

– Bart exposits us into a flashback:

Bart: I’m remembering now, we were trying to escape by canoe.

– Also, Mel is in the flashback and Bart narrates exactly what we see.

– Homer and Marge eventually have sex at the camp while Bart and Lisa discover that their trauma was actually a dwarf posing as a child who escaped and didn’t die. I made none of that up.

 

Anyway, the ratings are in an they continue to be bad. Last night, just 2.62 million people heard Moe finish. To its (VERY) slight credit, Zombie Simpsons acknowledged this near the end. Bart says, “Now I’m glad everything’s alright”, which leads to the following two screens:

SadRatings1

SadRadings2

(That’s the fake dead dwarf/escaped child on the left. In case you were wondering.) 


37 Responses to “Behind Us Forever: Kamp Krustier”


  1. 1 Milpool
    6 March 2017 at 6:34 pm

    Wouldn’t it make more sense if Homer became overtly productive yet stayed dumb as a doornail after being denied sex, and in conclusion be more of a hindrance at work because he thinks he is being productive? I think that payoff would have been far more entertaining than twisting him into crayon in nose-less Homer as a result of no intimacy.

    • 2 Charlie Sweatpants
      7 March 2017 at 6:58 am

      “Dumb but productive” is too complicated for them these days. “Let’s make Homer smart!” for about the sixth time is much easier.

    • 3 Sarah J
      7 March 2017 at 7:56 pm

      That sounds like it could be funny. I really like comedy scenarios where characters think they’re doing a good job but are actually terrible. Alternately, Homer starts putting more time into something he’s interested in, so it makes sense when he gets good at it or at least accomplishes it.

    • 8 March 2017 at 8:29 am

      “You’ll notice I am now a model worker. We should continue this conversation later during a designated break period.” [Warning alarms blaring, as Homer simply smiles and waves.]

    • 5 Steven
      19 March 2017 at 4:30 am

      Sounds like Bart trying to do better in school in Lisa on ice. And being such a hindrance that he got beaten up for “wasting teacher’s valuable time”.

  2. 6 Shrewd Cat
    6 March 2017 at 8:22 pm

    Wasn’t there a Seinfeld episode where George got smarter cos’ he couldn’t have sex? I’m guessing that was funnier than this.

    • 7 Dman
      7 March 2017 at 8:03 am

      Yep. This episode reminded me of that. The Seinfeld ep was, let’s just say, a bit funnier than this one.

  3. 8 Anonymous
    6 March 2017 at 9:46 pm

    The opening of this episode tells me that if the original Kamp Krusty was made in Season 28, Bart’s dream of destroying the school actually would’ve happened.

  4. 9 ecco6t9
    7 March 2017 at 2:09 am

    Ah, close the damn thing down, no one’s ever going to come.

  5. 11 Ryan
    7 March 2017 at 6:00 am

    Wow, this was awful.

    I don’t think the episode even knew what era it was supposed to be in. Set right after Kamp Krusty, yet they still had their HD-TV. And then at the end of the episode, Homer is watching fox on their old TV with the rabbit ears.

    I caught that on one viewing. They have a team of hundreds of people overlooking this episode and nobody caught that? What the fuck is going on?

    • 12 Charlie Sweatpants
      7 March 2017 at 6:59 am

      It is always a little jarring when someone whips out a smart phone.

      • 13 Anonymous
        8 March 2017 at 5:52 pm

        When you’re watching the first few seasons, there are very few clues per episode that prove it’s not set in small-town 1960s America. I’ve always felt that’s an underrated aspect of early Simpsons.

      • 14 Victor D
        8 March 2017 at 5:59 pm

        Pray tell, do Bart and Lisa whip out smartphones these days, especially at school? I’m no grade schooler so I wouldn’t know, but if so, I find it hard to believe that a couple of kids would be given their own phones at their age (maybe not tablets), and be allowed to use them at school either (I’m not so sure on this last point, especially on private vs. public schools).

        All this, especially since Marge and Homer are not supposed to be that wealthy, either.

        • 15 Sarah J
          9 March 2017 at 8:44 pm

          Giving kids cell phones became common years ago, with the ability to contact for emergencies being a big appeal, but I don’t know how common it is for kids to have smartphones. I have seen lots of kids with smartphones but I don’t know if they represent the majority, or if it’s a regional/income thing or what. (I would think that low income parents are less likely to give delicate, expensive smartphones to kids, but we’re reaching a point where people are expected to own smartphones so it wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of parents made it a point to get them for their kids) When I was in middle and high school (I’m 23 for reference) we were allowed to have phones with us, but we weren’t supposed to use them during school hours. (though in high school, a lot of teachers didn’t really care)

    • 9 March 2017 at 6:26 pm

      The anachronisms were driving me nuts. Like a Dancing With the Stars reference in I&S.

      They also blew their chance at bringing back some old characters. All these therapists in the story and they couldn’t be bothered to use Dr. Marvin Monroe or J. Loren Pryor?

  6. 17 Dman
    7 March 2017 at 8:05 am

    That Moe line might be the single worst line in the show’s history. It’s just awful in at least three different ways. Real Simpsons would never have said anything like that.

  7. 18 FS
    7 March 2017 at 12:48 pm

    Doing an aftermath episode isn’t necessary a bad thing and could lead to something new in an episodic show. Except that they messed it up. The Kamp Krusty references was pretty much: Nostalgia! We are talking about a good episode, so this episode has to be good! You could replace Kamp Krusty with any other traumatic experience and get basically the same episode. At least it wasn’t just a return there for a second trip as I was expecting. The Homer clones also had some potential, but the rest of the episode being weak doesn’t help.

  8. 19 Anonymous
    7 March 2017 at 1:05 pm

    Sounds like it was somehow even worse than I imagined. They’re not content to just leech off our fond memories, but want to blatantly tarnish them with their garbage. The fact that they directly tried to tie this in to the original episode is what really makes me angry. I feel honestly OFFENDED by all this. “It’s just a TV show, get over it”, no, shut up, this is just THAT awful. I can ignore the shit they pull with their new episodes because I stopped watching the show ages ago when it became painfully apparently that it would never be good (or even mediocre) again, but when they start mining the past for nostalgia points and trying to infect classic episodes with their zombie virus, that really pisses me off.

    “A short while ago, in Season 4…”

    Wow, so weak-ass meta humor combined with pretending that season 4 was only “a short while ago”? Yeah, the Simpsons TOTALLY hasn’t been running for DECADES past its prime while rotting like a putrid corpse while we leech off its former glory, of course not! Why do you ask?

    “If there’s one thing Simpsons Marge would never, ever do, it’s let the house become a trashdump like this and leave Maggie completely unattended.”

    Seriously. She would at least drop her off with Patty and Selma, or even Grampa as a last resort.

    “the kids come back and get sent to a therapist where Bart fakes being traumatized so as not to go to school while Lisa pretends not to be traumatized so she can go to school”

    Right, so the real Bart and Lisa from the 90s who were tough enough to survive the camp unscathed and had a more or less enjoyable week in Tijuana with Krusty as an apology now suddenly come back literally traumatized so the writers can make a lazy stab at PTSD comedy. Uh-huh. Whatever happened to that unphasable MTV Generation attitude?

    “While riding the vulture, Bart burns four children alive, screaming “Death to tennis camp”.”

    What the fuck even is that? Is that supposed to be some weird reference to when they had Milhouse ride a magic eagle? A movie parody? Whatever it is, it isn’t “The Simpsons”. Bart may have hurt other kids with his pranks before, but he wasn’t an actual sociopath.

    “Suddenly, Homer’s smart and tells us that it’s because he’s sexually frustrated.”

    Yep, makes perfect sense, Zombie Simpsons. Why, just look at all those frustrated virgins out there who blame women for denying them of their “right” to have sex. A shining example of genius, every single one of them.

    “Moe then shows up to masturbate with a robot in the hallway outside the therapy room. He orgasms behind a pebble glass window, and the show reaches what may be a new low.”

    Repulsive AND unfunny, good job. Even when “The Simpsons” was making sex jokes, they usually managed to keep them from being too overtly graphic, and were always funny. Now that ZS is essentially trying hard to be like “Family Guy” and “South Park” to maintain some semblance of relevancy, they push the envelope for the sake of pushing that envelope, comedy value or being true to their characters be damned!

    “Homer and Marge eventually have sex at the camp while Bart and Lisa discover that their trauma was actually a dwarf posing as a child who escaped and didn’t die. I made none of that up.”

    Again, what the fucking hell even is this? I’m used to ZS pulling stuff out of its ass, but this is even lower than the last pile of nonsense they dumped on their remaining viewers. This has got to stop.

    Pardon my rant, I’m just THAT disgusted with this thing.

  9. 22 Monty Python Forever
    7 March 2017 at 5:14 pm

    There is so much more wrong with this, especially after rewatching the old one for a comparison:

    Homer lost lots of weight and regrew some hair when Bart and Lisa were gone, but in this episode when they are gone he is fatter than he was with Bart and Lisa in this episode and he has the normal amount of hair.

    24 seasons involving hundreds of episodes, including at least one with a six month time jump, qualify as a short time?

    Why were the hallucinations so bland and realistic? Add some random imagery, psychedelic colors, weird voices, something to separate them from the real world. I know Bart has a lot more imagination than this.

    Bart spent the revolution sitting in a hut and leading the kids, not flying and shooting.

    Is that some sort of magic hose that can stretch from the lawn to the house without crossing the patio? I hope someone was fired for that mistake.

    Giving them the benefit of the doubt and assuming Sideshow Mel was offscreen at the camp, why would the camp not advertise itself as having him instead of pretending to have Krusty? Why would it not bring Mel out to entertain the kids instead of dinner, rather than hiring a drunken idiot like Barney to play Krusty?

    This episode in ten words: I was in Afghanistan, Iraq and Vietnam; this was worse.

    • 23 NES Boy
      13 March 2017 at 2:39 pm

      “Homer lost lots of weight and regrew some hair when Bart and Lisa were gone, but in this episode when they are gone he is fatter than he was with Bart and Lisa in this episode and he has the normal amount of hair.”

      To be fair, this happened the last time we saw Homer in the original episode:

  10. 8 March 2017 at 8:20 am

    [QUOTE]If there’s one thing Simpsons Marge would never, ever do, it’s let the house become a trashdump like this and leave Maggie completely unattended.[/QUOTE]

    If that were true, explain “Home Sweet Home-Diddly-Dum-Doodly” (you know, the episode where the kids get taken away after Child Welfare officers wrongfully brand Homer and Marge as negligent parents. Outside of some jokes, I actually hate that episode more than most people here hate “Marge Be Not Proud”. At least “Marge Be Not Proud” had heart, not matter how maudlin it may have been. And you wonder why most people flock to shows like “Steven Universe” and tire of shows like this and “Family Guy”…) or that episode where Bart works at the Maison Derriere or the one where Marge goes to Rancho Relaxo? And the one where Marge goes to jail for shoplifting? And the one where Homer and Marge go to a lakeside marriage retreat and the kids trick Grampa Simpson into letting them do whatever they want?

    • 26 Anonymous
      8 March 2017 at 10:36 am

      If you’d stop to think about it, you just answered your own questions. In every single one of those episodes you listed, Marge was gone, and in one instance, even in prison. Here, she’s just supposedly too “distracted” with jumping her husband’s blubber in her son’s treehouse to bother to take care of her own kid.

      And I will contend that “Home Sweet Home-Diddly-Dum-Doodly” was good, but to each their own.

      • 9 March 2017 at 10:20 am

        Still, feels kinda disingenuous that the classics can do it and it’s brilliant while the horrible episodes do the same and get called out for it. If it’s bad, it’s bad, no questions asked.

        And “Home Sweet Diddly-Dum-Doodly” does have its moments, but it just left a bad taste in my mouth (and had one glaring error: if the restraining order was for 100 miles, then the Flanders’ house would be in violation of that. Petty reason, yes, but I’m just trying to be part of this group).

        • 28 Sarah J
          9 March 2017 at 9:00 pm

          It’s not just about doing it, it’s how it’s done. Take, for example, the family doing something expensive. They’re supposed to be a lower middle class family, so it doesn’t make sense for them to go on a pricey trip on a whim. Earlier episodes would give some kind of explanation for it. When they go to Australia, the trip was paid for by the government. (admittedly a bit flimsy, but it doesn’t ruin the episode) When they go to Itchy and Scratchy Land, they go on a half price day. When they go to Japan, they were waiting for a last minute deal, and outran the Flanders family to get it. When they get a horse, Homer takes on a second job to pay for it. Compare to later episodes, where they go to Ireland and Israel without explanation as to how they afford it. Or Homer having VIP tickets to an E3-like gaming convention, again without explanation.

          Marge ignoring her housekeeping duties makes sense in certain situations, but Zombie Simpsons has a habit of having things happen without explanation or reason. (I consider it one of the biggest faults of the show) That’s bad writing, plain and simple.

    • 29 Sarah J
      9 March 2017 at 8:49 pm

      In the episodes you list, it’s established that Marge doing those things was outside of the norm, there were explanations for why they did those things, and they were important points of the episodes. It’s out of character for Marge to let things go to crap just to have sex with Homer, unless there’s some other reason for it like it Homer was gone for a long time.

  11. 30 Anonymous
    8 March 2017 at 11:09 am

    Remember when Homer got really smart because he wasn’t having sex in Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy?

  12. 33 Disenchanted Viewer
    8 March 2017 at 1:10 pm

    Happy International Women’s Day to all the many women on this blog!!!
    I didn’t watch the episode since if I really didn’t get anything to do on Sunday at 8 PM I would rather be staring at a white wall in my apartment for 30 minutes than watch a new episode, for sure it would be more enjoyable.
    Anyway, the last joke caught my attention. For years Al Jean kept saying that the ratings of the show were great, and in this season we already got 2 jokes about the low ratings, IIRC. Maybe they started to realize things are not that great.
    Anyway, just to clarify things and avoid anyone to believe what they wrote, last Sunday night Al Jean’s fart wasn’t the number 1 show of the night. Neglecting cable, where, obviously, TWD won the TV night by a great margin, and also TD beat anything on FOX, the number 1 broadcast show was “Little Big Shots” (NBC at 8 PM) with a 2.0 (in 18-49), followed by “Chicago Justice” (NBC at 9 PM) with 1.4, “NCIS: Los Angeles” (CBS at 8 PM) with 1.2 tied with Family Guy (FOX at 9 PM). The shit aired on FOX at 8 PM got a 1.1, tied with “60 Minutes” (CBS at 7 PM). The fact that the new episode got the same demo of a show for old people tells a lot.
    In conclusion it was tied for 5th place on network TV and 3rd in its time slot. As usual they can’t get anything right.

    • 34 Tom S. Fox
      8 March 2017 at 6:36 pm

      > Happy International Women’s Day to all the many women on this blog!!!

      At least as long as you are this kind of women: https://i.redditmedia.com/zEneh9UrTG-AZX4N2a6cfZRuERJ49De7nXnVfy85QEs.jpg?w=498&s=2cf77fae3e3590fa671586a77b4370ab

    • 9 March 2017 at 10:32 am

      >Anyway, the last joke caught my attention. For years Al Jean kept saying that the ratings of the show were great, and in this season we already got 2 jokes about the low ratings, IIRC. Maybe they started to realize things are not that great.

      If they realized that, they’d actually do something to improve the quality, and, sadly, I’m not seeing it.

      >Anyway, just to clarify things and avoid anyone to believe what they wrote, last Sunday night Al Jean’s fart wasn’t the number 1 show of the night. Neglecting cable, where, obviously, TWD won the TV night by a great margin, and also TD beat anything on FOX, the number 1 broadcast show was “Little Big Shots” (NBC at 8 PM) with a 2.0 (in 18-49), followed by “Chicago Justice” (NBC at 9 PM) with 1.4, “NCIS: Los Angeles” (CBS at 8 PM) with 1.2 tied with Family Guy (FOX at 9 PM). The shit aired on FOX at 8 PM got a 1.1, tied with “60 Minutes” (CBS at 7 PM). The fact that the new episode got the same demo of a show for old people tells a lot.

      That is just so good to hear that The Walking Dead stomped the competition. Say what you want about people these days, at least most don’t stick around to watch a shit show die in front of them.

      >In conclusion it was tied for 5th place on network TV and 3rd in its time slot. As usual they can’t get anything right.

      I don’t know if it’s about “getting anything right”. It’s probably more about “desperately trying to prove that they don’t suck and that they’re still relevant.” Newsflash: the show hasn’t been relevant since the end of the 1990s and the movie they had ten years ago (yes, really) was a pathetic cry for attention.

  13. 36 Victor D
    8 March 2017 at 3:00 pm

    They should’ve cut to the viewer after Moe, and have ‘im say, “Alright, I’m done with this show. Former viewer, out.” But that would’ve implied that there are still viewers out there.

    Thanks for doing all the viewing for us so we don’t have to, Charlie.


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