Archive for May, 2018

18
May
18

Quote of the Day

“Earth base, this is Commander Bart McCool, we are under attack by the Zornid Brainchangers. Quickly, into the safety dome, Milbot!” – Bart Simpson
“Affirmative, humanoid.” – Milhouse van Houten
“Eww.” – Bart Simpson & Milhouse van Houten
“Don’t mind me, boys. Just scrubbin’ my undies.” – Homer Simpson
“Sorry, Bart, your Dad kinda blew the fantasy. I only like it when I’m pretend scared.” – Milhouse van Houten

17
May
18

Quote of the Day

“Now, let us thank the Lord for this magnificent crystal cathedral, which allows us to look out upon His wondrous creation. . . Now, quickly, gaze down at God’s fabulous parquet floor! Eyes on the floor. Still on the floor.” – Not Robert Schuller
“Ow, my ass!” – Homer Simpson
“Always on God’s floor.” – Not Robert Schuller

Happy 20th Anniversary to “Natural Born Kissers”! Original airdate 17 May 1998.

16
May
18

Quote of the Day

“Welcome. I am honored to accept your waste.” – Japanese Toilet
“They’re years ahead of us!” – Homer Simpson

15
May
18

Quote of the Day

“No, not the iodine! Burn the germs off with a torch! Amputate my arm! But not the . . . ahhhhhh!” – Bart Simpson

14
May
18

Quote of the Day

“We’ve squozen our whole supply. To the lemon tree!” – Milhouse can Houten

Note: “Squozen” is a seriously underrated Simpsons neologism. 

13
May
18

Quote of the Day

“Here’s your taco, sir.” – Squeaky Voiced Teen
“I don’t want it.” – Krusty the Klown
“But this comes out of my salary! If I had a girlfriend, she’d kill me!” – Squeaky Voiced Teen

12
May
18

Quote of the Day

“Whoop-de-doo, employees! Everyone who’s found true love may leave early today!” – C.M. Burns
“Yea!” – Most Employees




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