Archive for August, 2018



24
Aug
18

Quote of the Day

“Don’t you worry, Mr. Mayor, this little bird’ll be cracking rocks by the end of the week.” – Chief Wiggum
“Wiggum, you glorified night watchman, let her go!” – Mayor Quimby
“But . . . she broke the law.” – Chief Wiggum
“Thanks for the civics lesson.” – Mayor Quimby

23
Aug
18

Quote of the Day

“That Simpson, he thinks he’s the Pope of Chilitown!” – Chief Wiggum

22
Aug
18

Quote of the Day

“Hey, landlord, some clown changed my locks, padlocked the door, and put up an eviction notice.” – Otto
“Yeah, that was me.” – Landlord
“You? But why?” – Otto
“Because you haven’t paid your rent.” – Landlord
“Can I at least get my stuff?” – Otto
“All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old cycle magazines.” – Landlord
“Wow! I had mustard?” – Otto

21
Aug
18

Quote of the Day

“Your Dad ever take you to baseball games?” – Tom
“Nah. His game was blackjack. He bet our life savings on a single hand.” – Bart Simpson
“Nineteen.” – Blackjack Dealer
“Hit me.” – Imaginary Homer Simpson
“Twenty.” – Blackjack Dealer
“Hit me.” – Imaginary Homer Simpson
“Twenty-one.” – Blackjack Dealer
“Hit me.” – Imaginary Homer Simpson
“Twenty-two.” – Blackjack Dealer
“D’oh!” – Imaginary Homer Simpson

20
Aug
18

Quote of the Day

“Sign’s floating away, Chief.” – Lou

19
Aug
18

Quote of the Day

“What would you say if I told you that Jebediah Springfield wasn’t as great as he’s cracked up to be? Look: Jebediah was really a vicious pirate named Hans Sprungfeld. His tongue was bitten off by a Turk in a grog house fight!” – Lisa Simpson

19
Aug
18

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Homer, go easy on the al-key-hol. Remember last year at the Winfield’s party when you threw up in the laundry hamper?” – Marge Simpson
“No.” – Homer Simpson




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