Archive for September, 2019

30
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“Barbershop? That ain’t be popular since aught-six, dagnabit.” – Bart Simpson
“Bart, what did I tell you?” – Homer Simpson
“No talking like a grizzled 1890s prospector. Consarnit.” – Bart Simpson

30
Sep
19

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Now, Bart, can you roll your eyes back in your head like this?” – Lionel Hutz
“Oh, you mean like I’m dead? Yeah, sure!” – Bart Simpson
“The kid’s a pro!” – Lionel Hutz

28
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“My theory is: Skinner likes dog food.” – Bart Simpson
“Let’s bake him a cake.” – Marge Simpson
“Ooh, a fresh batch of America balls!” – Homer Simpson

27
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“That’s my dad’s shootin’ car. Just three more payments and it’s ours.” – Nelson Muntz

26
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“When my family arrived in this country four months ago, we spoke no English and had no money in our pockets. Today, we own a nationwide chain of wheel balancing centers. Where else but in America, or possibly Canada, could our family find such opportunity? That’s why, whenever I see the Stars & Stripes, I’ll always be reminded of that wonderful word: flag.” – Truong van Dinh

25
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“Homer, young people learn about love from adults, and we’ve been setting a terrible example for our children and the community in general. I want us to deal with the issues raised by this book.” – Marge Simpson
“Hmm.” – Homer Simpson
“I knew we shouldn’t have put a fireplace in the bedroom.” – Marge Simpson

25
Sep
19

Makeup Quote of the Day

“All these new superheros suck! None of them can hold a candle to Radioactive Man.” – Bart Simpson
“The only decent new one is Radiation Dude.” – Milhouse van Houten
“Nah. He’s just a cheap imitation of Radioactive Man.” – Bart Simpson
“Explain.” – Milhouse van Houten
“The similarities are subtle, but many.” – Bart Simpson

24
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“I just want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. Can I say crappy on TV?” – Bart Simpson
“Yes, on this network you can.” – Kent Brockman

24
Sep
19

Makeup Quote of the Day

“What’s this?” – Homer Simpson
“Aw, that’s the barbed wire. We, uh, we called that the ‘Stinger’. They, uh, they don’t let you use that no more.” – Moe

24
Sep
19

Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day

“Marge, the boy was wearing a Hawaiian shirt.” – Homer Simpson
“So?” – Marge Simpson
“There’s only two kinds of guys who wear those shirts: gay guys and big fat party animals. And Bart doesn’t look like a big fat party animal to me.” – Homer Simpson
“So if you wore a Hawaiian shirt it wouldn’t be gay?” – Marge Simpson
“Right. Thank you!” – Homer Simpson

20
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“Well, I suppose if this doesn’t work out, you can always go back to the plant.” – Marge Simpson
“Not the way I quit.” – Homer Simpson

19
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“Hey Mom, Dad’s in a mental institution.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh my god, mother was right.” – Marge Simpson

19
Sep
19

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Why do you have to make this so hard?” – Lisa Simpson
“I’m using non-violent resistance.” – Bart Simpson
“Ugh, the idea that you would compare yourself to Mahatma Gandhi…” – Lisa Simpson
“Who?” – Bart Simpson

17
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“It was all a dream.” – Mr. Smithers
“That’s right, the year is 1965 and you and I are undercover detectives on the hot rod circuit. Now, let’s burn rubber, baby!” – C.M. Burns
“Speedway Squad! In color!!” – Dream TV Announcer

16
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“Bart, we’ve been going about this all wrong. What’s the one thing rabbis prize above everything else?” – Lisa Simpson
“Those stupid hats?” – Bart Simpson
“No, Bart, knowledge. . . . We’re gonna hit him where it hurts, right in the Judaica.” – Lisa Simpson

15
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“That was beautiful. What’s it called?” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, it’s a little tune that I call The I Never Had An Italian Soup Blues.” – Bleeding Gums Murphy

Happy Birthday, Mike Reiss! 

14
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“Can’t make it in today, Mr. Smithers. I have smallpox. . . . Well, it wasn’t wiped out in my house.” – Homer Simpson

13
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“So, even if a man takes bread to feed his starving family, that would be stealing?” – Lisa Simpson
“No. Well, it is if he puts anything on it. Jelly, for example.” – Reverend Lovejoy

12
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“But I can’t play quarterback, I don’t even know how!” – Bart Simpson
“Son, you can do anything you want. I have total faith in you.” – Homer Simpson
“Since when?” – Bart Simpson
“Since your mother yelled at me.” – Homer Simpson

11
Sep
19

Quote of the Day

“Sorry about that guy, they stick all the jerks in Tower 1.” – Tower 2 Guy
“That’s it! I’m coming over there!” – Tower 1 Jerk
“Yeah, why don’t you come over here? I got something for you!” – Tower 2 Guy
“Shut up, the both of yas!” – Other Tower 1 Jerk




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