“Beaten by an infant. What could be more humiliating?” – C.M. Burns
“What a scoop!” – Paparazzo
Author Archive for Charlie Schaldenbrand
21
Oct
19
Quote of the Day
20
Oct
19
Quote of the Day
“We would’ve gotten even more if Lisa could walk faster.” – Bart Simpson
“I didn’t select this costume for mobility. I wore it to salute the noble Native Americans of the Pacific Northwest.” – Lisa Simpson
20
Oct
19
Makeup Quote of the Day
“If you nurture her gift now, there’s no telling what she can do.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor
“Wow, just think of the possibilities.” – Homer Simpson
“Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Prize.” – Dream Announcer
“Nah.” – Homer Simpson
“Lisa Simpson has won the Nobel Prize . . . for kickboxing.” – Dream Announcer
18
Oct
19
Quote of the Day
“Okay, the colors of the Italian flag are red, white, and what?” – Grade School Challenge Host
“Blue!” – Bart Simpson
“Yellow!” – Homer Simpson
“Green.” – Selma Bouvier
“Orange! Red!” – Bart Simpson
“Green.” – Patty Bouvier
“Purple!” – Bart Simpson
“Red! White! Black! Green!” – Homer Simpson
“Green.” – Grade School Challenge Contestant
“I was right!” – Homer Simpson
17
Oct
19
Quote of the Day
“May I ask how you spent your weekend?” – Mr. Smithers
“A bit overly familiar, but I’ll allow it. I took in a movie. An appalling little piece of filth, it’s leading ‘lady’ was a blonde harlot who spent half the film strolling around naked as a jaybird. Oh, just give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending and they’ll oink for more every time.” – C.M. Burns
“What a movie! And that blonde cutie? Does she have assets!” – Homer Simpson
“Sounds like my kind of flick!” – Lenny
“And how!” – Carl
16
Oct
19
Quote of the Day
“It’s just a little dirty, it’s still good! It’s still good! . . . It’s just a little slimy, it’s still good! It’s still good! . . . It’s just a little airborne, it’s still good! It’s still good!” – Homer Simpson
“It’s gone.” – Bart Simpson
“I know.” – Homer Simpson
15
Oct
19
Quote of the Day
“Krusty! About time you got here.” – Jack Larson
“Yeah, yeah, what is this? The, uh, Republican fundraiser?” – Krusty the Klown
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken