Author Archive for Charlie Schaldenbrand

24
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

Deep Space Homer14

“Only one of you will be chosen to go into space, so the next few weeks will be a grueling series of tests to determine which one of you is most qualified.” – NASA Administrator
“Oh, and Mr. Gumble, for the duration of the training there’ll be no more beer.” – NASA Scientist
“What? Three whole weeks with only wine? I’ll go crazy!” – Barney Gumble

23
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

Lard of the Dance7

“Attention, please, I need a volunteer for a thankless chore. . . . Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson’s? Thank you, Lisa.” – Principal Skinner

22
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

The Last Temptation of Krust12

“Mom, these are at least two sizes too big.” – Lisa Simpson
“Perfect, you’ll grow into them.” – Marge Simpson
“When?” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, you’re both way overdue for a spurt.” – Marge Simpson

21
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

SexlessFreak

“Well, Seymour, it seems we’ve put together a baseball team. And I was wondering, who’s on first?” – Superintendent Chalmers
“Yes. Not the pronoun, but rather a player with the unlikely name of Who is on first.” – Principal Skinner
“Well that’s just great, Seymour, we’ve been out here six seconds and you’ve already managed to blow the routine! . . . Sexless freak.” – Superintendent Chalmers

20
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

Sanctuary!

“Sanctuary! Sanctuary!” – Homer Simpson
“Oh, why did I teach him that word?” – Reverend Lovejoy

19
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

WatchYourCamera

“Australia was originally founded as a settlement for British convicts. . . . Lisa, watch your camera.” – Marge Simpson

18
Aug
16

Quote of the Day

Duffless17

“Your license is hereby revoked! And you are to attend traffic school and two months of alconon meetings.” – Judge
“Your honer, I’d like that last remark stricken from the record.” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Judge




E-Mail

deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

Twitter Updates

The Mob Has Spoken

Noah P on Quote of the Day
Gabbo on Quote of the Day
Ryan on Quote of the Day
Tipsy McStagger on Quote of the Day
frank on Quote of the Day
frank on Quote of the Day
jbwarner86 on Quote of the Day
Victor D on Quote of the Day
Victor D on Quote of the Day
Dave2 on Quote of the Day

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Reruns

Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 502 other followers