Author Archive for Charlie Schaldenbrand

05
Mar
21

Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpsons Got Renewed Again! [Crowd Turns, Shrugs]

“Can I have my shirts back at least?” – Kirk van Houten
“Okay, you heard the lady. Why don’t you take it outside, alright?” – Pyro 

Zombie Simpsons got the renewal nod from old dad and new dad yesterday. Both are very proud of their large adult son:

It’s a sincere pleasure to announce the Season 33 and 34 pick-ups for THE SIMPSONS. We keep hoping that, eventually, they’ll get it right,” said Charlie Collier, CEO, FOX Entertainment. “Profound respect for and congratulations to Matt, Jim, Al, Matt and the many other wonderful partners working really hard to finally elevate ‘The Tracey Ullman Show.’ As they say, ‘practice makes perfect.’”

And:

Original, brilliant, outrageously funny, prophetic…there aren’t enough positive adjectives to describe this genius comedy which continues to entertain viewers of all ages,” commented Dana Walden, Chairman of Entertainment, Walt Disney Television. “Jim Brooks, Matt Groening and Al Jean lead a team of all-stars who hold such a high bar for themselves and leap over it with each spectacular episode. On behalf of everyone at our studio and the millions of fans of THE SIMPSONS around the world, I want to thank our wonderful partners at FOX for making this a truly great day.”

I enjoy it when the statements issued from the top are so blandly duplicative that you wonder if even the quoted people’s assistants have read them beforehand. Both are structurally identical and conclude with the same offer of praise to their “wonderful partners”; which raises the fascinating question of whether one lowly assistant drafted both statements or if both PR departments have independently reached the same nadir of actual meaning.

There really isn’t much to add here. Variety and UPI both dutifully wrote up the press release (and a few other publications wrote up their write ups) and that’s about it. Which is a shame because there actually is an interesting question here that’s not addressed in this statement: what, if any, differences are there in how much Disney is charging FOX to keep producing the show?

Disney owns both the syndication and merchandise rights to the Simpsons now, all FOX gets is whatever revenue they generate from broadcasting new episodes. That’s a huge change in the calculus of whether or not to continue making it. And, of course, there’s the matter of the actual production staff and budget. Are there cuts (as there so often are after one company digests another)? Nobody’s bothered to ask.

Anyway, it’s two more years of Zombie Simpsons at least. And still no word on what Disney plans to do with the franchise.

21
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“In order to keep our broadcasting license we devote Sunday night dead time to public service shows of limited appeal. In that spirit, we bring you Gabbin’ About God.” – KBBL Announcer

20
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“What is your area of expertise?” – Adult Education Annex Administrator
“Well, I can tell the difference between butter and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.” – Homer Simpson
“No you can’t, Mr. Simpson, no one can!” – Adult Education Annex Administrator

19
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Now, why are we doomed to this Quimby quagmire, you ask, oh, reasonable listener? Because this town is under the stranglehold of a few tie-dyed tree-huggers who would rather play hacky sack than lock up the homeless.” – Birch Barlow

Rush Limbaugh died, and while I have read a few appropriately scathing summations, this is the best I’ve seen at explaining his appeal. Birch was cool to the uncoolest people in America, and it was worth tens of millions of dollars per year. 

18
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Sir, the TV ratings for the launch are the highest in ten years!” – NASA Guy

That was damn fine television.

17
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Digital audiotape my butt! When I was a kid we had compact discs and I don’t recall no one complaining.” – Bart Simpson
“Damn right.” – Jake the Barber

16
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Ahh, the morning horoscope . . . Today will be a day like every other day. . . . Oh, it just gets worse and worse!” – Homer Simpson

Things are calming down, I thought. I’ll have time to blog, I figured. The post about what Disney is going to do with the show won’t sprawl on me to the point that I don’t even know how many chunks to break it into, I told myself.

15
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Get out of my office!” – Matt Groening

Happy birthday!

14
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Attention everyone, this is Principal Skinner. Some student, possibly Bart Simpson, has been circulating candy hearts featuring crude, off color sentiments.” – Principal Skinner

13
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Hello, I’m Mr. Plow. Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snow blowers? And the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?” – Homer Simpson

12
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Uh-oh, two Independent Thought Alarms in one day! The students are over stimulated. Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.” – Principal Skinner
“I warned you! Didn’t I warn you? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!” – Groundskeeper Willie

11
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Have you noticed any change in Bart?” – Marge Simpson
“New glasses?” – Homer Simpson
“No. He looks like something might be disturbing him.” – Marge Simpson
“Probably misses his old glasses.” – Homer Simpson
“I guess we could get more involved in Bart’s activities, but then I’d be afraid of smothering him.” – Marge Simpson
“Yeah, and then we’d get the chair.” – Homer Simpson
“That’s not what I meant.” – Marge Simpson
“It was, Marge, admit it.” – Homer Simpson

10
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Lis, today I am a god.” – Bart Simpson
“Is that why you’re sitting on an ice cream sandwich?” – Lisa Simpson
“Eww.” – Bart Simpson

09
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Hey, Mel, bring me another nicotine patch! Uh, I think there’s some space on my butt.” – Krusty the Klown

08
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“The next few weeks at my dream job were like a wonderful waking coma.” – Homer Simpson

07
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Well, I’m glad some people could resist the lures of the big game.” – Reverend Lovejoy
“Oh my God!  I forgot the game!” – Parishioner

06
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Can’t I come home later?” – Milhouse van Houten
“There’s not going to be a home later.” – Luann van Houten

05
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Ahh, they think they’re so high and mighty, just cause they never got caught driving without pants.” – Moe

04
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Holy cow! You just fell on Aerosmith.” – Barney Gumble

03
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Forgot there was a physical today, huh?” – Homer Simpson




E-Mail

deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

Twitter Updates

The Mob Has Spoken

Fuck the duck until… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Big John's Breakfast… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Relatives Dude on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Mr Incognito on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Zombie Sweatpants on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Bleeding Unprofitabl… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Red sus on Quote of the Day
Rick on Quote of the Day
cm5675 on Quote of the Day
Bleeding Gums Murphy on Quote of the Day

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Reruns

Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.