“Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.” – Kent Brockman
“My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist . . . but he is not a porn star.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson
Author Archive for Charlie Schaldenbrand
29
Mar
20
Quote of the Day
29
Mar
20
Makeup Quote of the Day
“So much steak . . . lungs filling, sinuses packed with meat . . .” – Homer Simpson
“C’mon, Dad, just twelve more pounds!” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, humans are so ridiculous. He’s not even halfway through Walter and he’s already hallucinating.” – Sentient Bull
“Hello, I am Plato. Please partake of keno, craps, and the loosest slots in town! My philosophy is: enjoy.” – Plato
26
Mar
20
Quote of the Day
“Hey, Colonel Homer! And you must be-” – Lurleen Lumpkin
“Mrs. Homer Simpson.” – Marge Simpson
“Charmed.” – Lurleen Lumpkin
“I thought you said she was overweight.” – Marge Simpson
“Marge, it takes two to lie: one to lie, and one to listen.” – Homer Simpson;
25
Mar
20
Quote of the Day
“Dad, can I talk to you something?” – Bart Simpson
“Sure, boy, what’s on your mind?” – Homer Simpson
“Well, I was wondering, how important is it to be popular?” – Bart Simpson
“I’m glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!” – Homer Simpson
“So, like, sometimes you could do stuff that you think is pretty bad so other kids will like you better?” – Bart Simpson
“You’re not talking about killing anyone, are you?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Bart Simpson
“Are you?!” – Homer Simpson
“No!” – Bart Simpson
“Then run along, you little scamp. A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.” – Homer Simpson
Happy (actual) 30th Anniversary to “The Telltale Head”!
24
Mar
20
Quote of the Day
“Look what I snagged, Marge: the candy bride and groom from the wedding cake. . . .”
“. . . Mmm, pointy.” – Homer Simpson
24
Mar
20
Makeup Quote of the Day
“What’s going on?” – Lisa Simpson
“It’s an old fashioned hole diggin’! By gar, it’s been a while!” – Jasper
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken