“I’ve never wanted a beer worse in my life. . . . I love you, honey!” – Homer Simpson
“Are you talking to me or the beer?” – Marge Simpson
“To you, my bubbly, long necked, beechwood aged lover.” – Homer Simpson
Author Archive for Charlie Schaldenbrand
24
Apr
19
Quote of the Day
23
Apr
19
Quote of the Day
“Dad, Otto’s going through a real tough time. Can’t he stay with us for a while?” – Bart Simpson
“I know we didn’t ask for this, Homer. But doesn’t the Bible say, ‘Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me’?” – Marge Simpson
“Yes, but doesn’t the Bible also say, ‘Thou shalt not take moochers into thy . . . hut’?” – Homer Simpson
22
Apr
19
Quote of the Day
“Smithers, this plague doesn’t scare me. I’ve constructed a germ free chamber for myself. Not a single microbe can get in or out.” – C.M. Burns
21
Apr
19
Quote of the Day
“I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens. He came in peace, and then died, only to come back to life. And his name was . . . E.T., the Extra Terrestrial. I love that little guy.” – Reverend Lovejoy
20
Apr
19
Quote of the Day
“Simpson, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you at work?” – Mr. Smithers
“I made a bad mistake and Lenny sent me home to think about what I did. But I don’t remember what it was, so I’m watching TV.” – Homer Simpson
20
Apr
19
Makeup Quote of the Day
“The monkey’s on my part of the sofa.” – Marge Simpson
“Honey, he’s clearly marked his territory.” – Homer Simpson
18
Apr
19
Quote of the Day
“In light of these new facts, of which I now realize I was largely aware, I must take action!” – Mayor Quimby
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken