Author Archive for Charlie Schaldenbrand



12
Jun
19

Quote of the Day

“Folks, is your marriage stuck in a rut? Can you even remember the last time you felt the thrill of romance? Well, maybe you need: a divorce! Call the divorce specialists now for a consultation and free tote bag!” – Radio Announcer

12
Jun
19

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Now, I’d like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlit.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

10
Jun
19

Quote of the Day

“Lisa, stop the racket. I’m trying to fix your mother’s camera. Easy . . . easy . . . hmm, I’m gonna need a bigger drill.” – Homer Simpson

10
Jun
19

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Of course, I’m not the only one who benefited from last week’s big payoff. Our state’s schools got their share too. Here lottery officials present Springfield Elementary with a brand new eraser.” – Kent Brockman
“One eraser? Oh, I’m used to my government betraying me. I was in Nam! I served for three-” – Principal Skinner

08
Jun
19

Quote of the Day

“Bart! I asked you to watch your sister!” – Marge Simpson
“I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me.” – Bart Simpson

07
Jun
19

Quote of the Day

“Mr. Burns, it is my sad duty to report that one of your executives has bilked the company insurance plan out of a thousand dollars.” – Mr. Smithers
“What? Blast his hide to Hades! And I was going to buy that ivory back scratcher.” – C.M. Burns

07
Jun
19

Makeup Quote of the Day

“All this senseless violence, I don’t understand its appeal.” – Marge Simpson
“We don’t expect you to, Mom.” – Bart Simpson
“If cartoons were meant for adults, they’d put them on in primetime.” – Lisa Simpson

Sam Simon would’ve been 64 yesterday. Happy (one day belated) birthday.




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