Archive for the 'QotD' Category



01
Feb
21

Quote of the Day

“Now turn to the next problem. If you have three Pepsis and drink one, how much more refreshed are you? . . . You, the redhead in the Chicago school system.” – Troy McClure
“Pepsi?” – Little Redhead Girl
“Partial credit!” – Troy McClure

31
Jan
21

Quote of the Day

“We now return to Two for Tunisia on Colorization Theater.” – TV Announcer

30
Jan
21

Quote of the Day

“No, the slide is perfectly safe! This was an isolated incident!” – Krusty the Klown
“I understand that, Krusty….Krusty! Isn’t that exactly what you said right before the recall of tainted Krusty brand mayonnaise?” – Kent Brockman
“Now Kent, you know that question is out of bounds! This interview is over!” – Krusty the Klown

29
Jan
21

Quote of the Day

“Bart, leave that crowbar here! You know I don’t like you prying and jimmying.” – Marge Simpson

28
Jan
21

Quote of the Day

“Today, we wash Beulah. You know what that is?” – Mrs. Glick
“Some old lady thing nobody’s heard about for fifty years?” – Bart Simpson
“No, it was my wedding dress. But then I dyed it black and it became my mourning dress.” – Mrs. Glick

So long, Cloris Leachman.

27
Jan
21

Quote of the Day

“Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We’re both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis! But mine worked, damn it!” – C.M. Burns

29
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“Could Homer Simpson be a communist? His father spoke out on his behalf.” – Kent Brockman
“My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist . . . but he is not a porn star.” – Abe “Grampa” Simpson

29
Mar
20

Makeup Quote of the Day

“So much steak . . . lungs filling, sinuses packed with meat . . .” – Homer Simpson
“C’mon, Dad, just twelve more pounds!” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, humans are so ridiculous. He’s not even halfway through Walter and he’s already hallucinating.” – Sentient Bull

29
Mar
20

Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day

“Hello, I am Plato. Please partake of keno, craps, and the loosest slots in town! My philosophy is: enjoy.” – Plato

26
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“Hey, Colonel Homer! And you must be-” – Lurleen Lumpkin
“Mrs. Homer Simpson.” – Marge Simpson
“Charmed.” – Lurleen Lumpkin
“I thought you said she was overweight.” – Marge Simpson
“Marge, it takes two to lie: one to lie, and one to listen.” – Homer Simpson;

25
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“Dad, can I talk to you something?” – Bart Simpson
“Sure, boy, what’s on your mind?” – Homer Simpson
“Well, I was wondering, how important is it to be popular?” – Bart Simpson
“I’m glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!” – Homer Simpson
“So, like, sometimes you could do stuff that you think is pretty bad so other kids will like you better?” – Bart Simpson
“You’re not talking about killing anyone, are you?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Bart Simpson
“Are you?!” – Homer Simpson
“No!” – Bart Simpson
“Then run along, you little scamp. A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.” – Homer Simpson

Happy (actual) 30th Anniversary to “The Telltale Head”! 

24
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“Look what I snagged, Marge: the  candy bride and groom from the wedding cake. . . .”

“. . . Mmm, pointy.” – Homer Simpson

24
Mar
20

Makeup Quote of the Day

“What’s going on?” – Lisa Simpson
“It’s an old fashioned hole diggin’! By gar, it’s been a while!” – Jasper

22
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“Now, whose calculator can tell me what seven times eight is?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Ooh, ooh, ooooh! Low battery?” – Milhouse van Houten
“Whatever.” – Mrs. Krabappel

22
Mar
20

Makeup Quote of the Day

“Well, Simpson, did you learn something today?” – Chief Wiggum
“Ooh, did I ever! And that herbal anger rinse just washed the rage right out of me.” – Marge Simpson

22
Mar
20

Double Secret Makeup Quote of the Day

“Homer, are you alright?” – Marge Simpson
“I guess so, but that first month was pretty rough.” – Homer Simpson
“You’ve only been gone two days.” – Marge Simpson
“Really? Without teevee it’s hard to know when one day begins and the other ends.” – Homer Simpson

19
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“I thought you said you’d tell me about my true love.” – Lisa Simpson
“Oh, you’ll have a true love. But I specialize in foretelling the relationships where you get jerked around.” – Renaissance Faire Fortune Teller

18
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“Now, this is living, eh, kids? Hot pizza! The food of kings!” – Homer Simpson
“Don’t be scared, Dad. It’s not so hard taking care of us.” – Lisa Simpson
“Lisa, I’m not scared. I think it’s a great chance to spend some time with you kids. Your mother always gets to be alone with you, and now it’s my turn . . . Does the time always drag like this?” – Homer Simpson

Happy 30th anniversary to “Life on the Fast Lane”! 

17
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“What’s so special about this game anyway? It’s just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world’s largest pizza, so we burned down their city hall.” – Lisa Simpson

16
Mar
20

Quote of the Day

“You gonna give me the money or not?” – Clancy Wiggum
“Well, I don’t think so. You don’t even have a trigger on that thing.” – Homer Simpson
“Yeah, I had to sell the trigger and most of the handle to feed my family. C’mon, gimme the dough! I can throw this pretty hard!” – Clancy Wiggum




E-Mail

deadhomersociety (at) gmail

Run a Simpsons site or Twitter account? Let us know!

Twitter Updates

The Mob Has Spoken

Fuck the duck until… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Big John's Breakfast… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Relatives Dude on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Mr Incognito on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Zombie Sweatpants on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Bleeding Unprofitabl… on Hey, Everybody! Zombie Simpson…
Red sus on Quote of the Day
Rick on Quote of the Day
cm5675 on Quote of the Day
Bleeding Gums Murphy on Quote of the Day

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Reruns

Useful Legal Tidbit

Even though it’s obvious to anyone with a functional frontal lobe and a shred of morality, we feel the need to include this disclaimer. This website (which openly advocates for the cancellation of a beloved television series) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the FOX Network, the News Corporation, subsidiaries thereof, or any of Rupert Murdoch’s wives or children. “The Simpsons” is (unfortunately) the intellectual property of FOX. We and our crack team of one (1) lawyer believe that everything on this site falls under the definition of Fair Use and is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. No revenue is generated from this endeavor; we’re here because we love “The Simpsons”. And besides, you can’t like, own a potato, man, it’s one of Mother Earth’s creatures.