“Now let’s take a look at a young Charles Bronson’s brief stint replacing Andy Griffith on The Andy Griffith Show.” – Before They Were Famous Host
“Where’s Otis? He’s not in his cell.” – Not Don Knotts
“I shot him.” – Charles Bronson
“Well, that’s-what!?” – Not Don Knotts
“Now I’m going down to Emmett’s Fix It Shop to fix Emmett.” – Charles Bronson
Happy birthday, Mike Reiss!
“Here, honey, you can have the junk mail.” – Marge Simpson
“Gas your termites, freeze your termites, zap your termites, save the termites.” – Bart Simpson
“I must’ve spent our last ten dollars on this Al Gore doll.” – Martin Prince
“You are hearing me talk.” – Al Gore Doll
“Reverend, I’m afraid something terrible has happened.” – 70s Flanders
“Well, sit down and rap with me, brother! That’s what I’m here for.” – 70s Lovejoy
“I was talked into doing a dance called ‘The Bump’. But my hip slipped and my buttocks came into contact with the buttocks of another young man.” – 70s Flanders
“I see.” – 70s Lovejoy
“I did tip off the Feds as to the whereabouts of our good friend, Milhouse.” – Bart Simpson
“I’m telling you, I didn’t do anything.” – Milhouse van Houten
“I don’t care.” – Not Tommy Lee Jones
(Sorry for the very late quote.)
“Oh, Marge, don’t let go, no matter what! If they want you in Heaven they gotta take me too.” – Homer Simpson
“You want me to join Mensa? Oh, that’s wonderful! But don’t I have to take some sort of IQ test?” – Lisa Simpson
“No, Lisa, you’re more than qualified. I’ve shared all your standardized test scores with the other members.” – Principal Skinner
“Aren’t those supposed to be confidential?” – Lisa Simpson
“Welcome to Mensa!” – Principal Skinner
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken