“Sorry, son, but there’s a program about campus life that I really should watch.” – Homer Simpon
“We now return to School of Hard Knockers, starring Corey Masterson.” – TV Announcer
“Dean Bitterman, I hope nothing unsavory happens during my visit. As you know, I am the President of the United States.” – The President
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve expelled those rowdy members of Chug-A-Lug House.” – Dean Bitterman
“Oh, my, I wonder which is the cereal for me? . . . Oh, excuse me, could you tell me where I might find the Burns-Os?” – C.M. Burns
“Sorry, pops, they don’t put nobodies on cereal boxes.” – Krusty the Klown
“Well, I suppose this one looks a bit like me.” – C.M. Burns
“And here’s country singing sensation Lurleen Lumpkin, fresh from her latest stay at the Betty Ford Clinic. Whatcha been up to, Lurleen?” – Kent Brockman
“I spent last night in a ditch.” – Lurleen Lumpkin
Doris Grau would’ve been 95 today. Happy birthday.
“Bart Simpson, is your book report on Treasure Island ready?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Is it ready? Ha! What a question! Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled! . . . Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island. It’s about these pirates . . . Pirates with patches over their eyes . . . and shiny gold teeth . . . and green birds on their shoulders. Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson? And published by the good people at McGraw Hill. So, in conclusion, on the Simpson Scale of one to ten, ten being the highest. one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this book . . . a nine.” – Bart Simpson
“What have I done to deserve this flat, flavorless Manhattan?” – The Don
“Boat’s on the other side.” – Prison Guard
“Yes. Thank you.” – Sideshow Bob
“Leave this place. You are in great danger.” – Ominous Potato Bug Guy
“Where’s Milhouse?” – Bart Simpson
“The one you call Milhouse is gone! . . . He went to his grandma’s place while we’re spraying for potato bugs.” – Sarcastic Potato Bug Guy
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken