“You gonna give me the money or not?” – Clancy Wiggum
“Well, I don’t think so. You don’t even have a trigger on that thing.” – Homer Simpson
“Yeah, I had to sell the trigger and most of the handle to feed my family. C’mon, gimme the dough! I can throw this pretty hard!” – Clancy Wiggum
“Oh, boy, this is gonna get worse before it gets better.” – Chief Wiggum
“Oh, there’s so little left . . . creamed eels, corn nog, . . . wadded beef?” – Marge Simpson
“It’s a ghost car! There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know.” – Chief Wiggum
“Hold me.” – Homer Simpson
“Only if you old me.” – Chief Wiggum
“Okay, I’ll just even this out and . . . Mr. Lazwell, I’ve done it again.” – Squeaky Voiced Barber College Student
“Then I got this scar sneaking under the door of a pay toilet.” – Homer Simpson
“Lemme through! Lemme through! I’m her husband!” – Homer Simpson
“Well, that explains a lot.” – Eddie
“I like our chances, son.” – Homer Simpson
“Ugh. Your father’s not supposed to help build your racer but you should at least consult him about it.” – Soapbox Derby Racing Official
“That makes twenty-two to sixteen.” – Homer Simpson
“This one’s mine.” – Marge Simpson
“Keep On Truckin’? What does that mean?” – Lisa Simpson
“I didn’t know then and I don’t know now.” – Marge Simpson
“Why don’t you buy it?” – Bart Simpson
“I can’t buy that. Only management type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that. . . . Guys like me! I’m a guy like me!” – Homer Simpson
“Nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. And you must be the man who didn’t know if he had a pimple or a boil.” – Jay Sherman
“It was a gummy bear.” – Homer Simpson
“Screw the honor system, my car needs me!” – Snake
“Hey, you’re ruining it for the rest of us!” – Kearney
“Now, unfortunately, our school clocks have been running fast all semester. So, today, we all have to stay two extra hours to make up for the time we lost. Ha!” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Ohhh.” – Students
“Look, Marge! A restaurant owned by celebrities! I always wanted to be a celebrity!” – Homer Simpson
“Yes, it’s true, the entire menu was personally approved by my secretary.” – Rainier Wolfcastle
“Must kill Moe . . . Wheee! . . . Must kill Moe . . . Wheee!” – Homer Simpson
“It all started on the thirteenth hour of the thirteenth day of the thirteenth month. We were there to discuss the misprinted calendars the school had purchased.” – Marge Simpson
“Lousy Smarch weather.” – Homer Simpson
“Come on, move your butt! You’re blocking traffic!” – Marge Simpson
“That’s no way to address Sir-Drinks-A-Lot.” – Homer Simpson
“One ocean tango, we are in pursuit of a speeding individual driving a red . . . car, license number: Eggplant-Xerxes-Crybaby-Overbite-Narwhal.” – Eddie
“Evening, Simpson. You got a short in your tail light. Started blinking when you made that turn.” – Chief Wiggum
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(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken