Dead Homer Society

“Honey, we don’t need to drive four-hundred miles to clean animals. You can stay right here and give the dog a bath. Or trim the cat’s nails.” – Marge Simpson

“In light of these new facts, of which I now realize I was largely aware, I must take action!” – Mayor Quimby

“Homer, did you know it was a burlesque house when you sent Bart to work there?” – Marge Simpson
“No! I only learned that four days ago.” – Homer Simpson

“My friends, stop!” – Homer Simpson
“Please, hurry.” – Hans Moleman

“Dad, I think I need some fresh air. Can I go to the park?” – Bart Simpson
“Do I have to sit up?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Bart Simpson
“Knock yourself out.” – Homer Simpson

“Preliminary reports indicated the ship’s captain was drunk at the helm. . . . Those reports were later confirmed.” – Kent Brockman
“Argh, I’m in a lot of trouble now. Hey! I’ll give you a hundred bucks to take the blame.” – Captain McAllister

“You mean there’s nothing left to clean?” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, there are rocks. Thousands and thousands of rocks.” – Oil Cleanup Hippie
“I’ve got rocks that need washing at home.” – Marge Simpson

“President Eisenhower celebrates fortieth wedding anniversary.  Not pictured: Mrs. Eisenhower.” – Homer Simpson

Today is the 100th anniversary of Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower’s wedding.

“Bart, where are you?  Come on!  I have to be up at 6am to swipe Flanders’ newspaper.” – Homer Simpson

“We’d be doing our part for the environment!  Plus, we’d get to clean up all those cute animals!” – Lisa Simpson
“Honey, we don’t need to drive four hundred miles to clean animals.  You can stay right here and give the dog a bath, or trim the cat’s nails.” – Marge Simpson

“Jeez, look at this place.  We gotta do something!” – Homer Simpson
“Hmm, garbage angels?” – Bart Simpson

“Dad, do I have to brush my teeth?” – Bart Simpson
“No, but at least rinse your mouth out with soda.” – Homer Simpson

“And after visiting the area for the past two months, I have determined it is not feasible to construct a supertrain between Springfield and Aruba.” – Mayor Quimby

“A massive tanker has run aground on the central coastline, spilling millions of gallons of oil on Baby Seal Beach.” – Kent Brockman
“Oh, no!” – Lisa Simpson
“It’ll be okay, honey, there’s lots more oil where that came from.” – Homer Simpson

“I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers.  For one thing, there are too many fat children.” – C.M. Burns

“Let us give no more scrutiny to this bawdy house and its small clientele of loyal perverts.” – Mayor Quimby
“Oh, I’m afraid this problem goes far beyond Eugene and Rusty.” – Reverend Lovejoy