Dead Homer Society

“Homer, did you know it was a burlesque house when you sent Bart to work there?” – Marge Simpson
“No! I only learned that four days ago.” – Homer Simpson

“My friends, stop!” – Homer Simpson
“Please, hurry.” – Hans Moleman

“Dad, I think I need some fresh air. Can I go to the park?” – Bart Simpson
“Do I have to sit up?” – Homer Simpson
“No.” – Bart Simpson
“Knock yourself out.” – Homer Simpson

“Preliminary reports indicated the ship’s captain was drunk at the helm. . . . Those reports were later confirmed.” – Kent Brockman
“Argh, I’m in a lot of trouble now. Hey! I’ll give you a hundred bucks to take the blame.” – Captain McAllister

“You mean there’s nothing left to clean?” – Lisa Simpson
“Well, there are rocks. Thousands and thousands of rocks.” – Oil Cleanup Hippie
“I’ve got rocks that need washing at home.” – Marge Simpson

“President Eisenhower celebrates fortieth wedding anniversary.  Not pictured: Mrs. Eisenhower.” – Homer Simpson

Today is the 100th anniversary of Dwight and Mamie Eisenhower’s wedding.

“Bart, where are you?  Come on!  I have to be up at 6am to swipe Flanders’ newspaper.” – Homer Simpson