Dead Homer Society

“Bart Simpson, is your book report on Treasure Island ready?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Is it ready? Ha! What a question! Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled! . . . Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was Treasure Island. It’s about these pirates . . . Pirates with patches over their eyes . . . and shiny gold teeth . . . and green birds on their shoulders. Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson? And published by the good people at McGraw Hill. So, in conclusion, on the Simpson Scale of one to ten, ten being the highest. one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this book . . . a nine.” – Bart Simpson

“I think you may be on the mend. Is there anything else I can get you?” – Marge Simpson
“Hmm, perhaps the TV?” – Bart Simpson
“Of course. Homer!” – Marge Simpson
“What?” – Homer Simpson
“Bring the television up! Bart’s got his vision back!” – Marge Simpson
“D’oh! Wish I had amoria phlebitis.” – Homer Simpson

“Alright, let’s have a look see at your study area.” – Martin Prince
“Study area?” – Bart Simpson
“Yes, your sanctuary from the hurly-burly of modern life.” – Martin Prince
“Well, there’s a desk under that junk over there.” – Bart Simpson
“Oh, no, no, no, no, this won’t do at all. We’re going to have to clean up this room. And we’ll clearly need a few ferns in here. No study area is complete without adequate plant life.” – Martin Prince

“I’ve been failing a lot of tests recently.” – Bart Simpson
“Yuh-huh.” – Otto
“And now they’re talking about holding me back in the fourth grade if I don’t shape up.” – Bart Simpson
“That’s it? Hey, relax, man. It could end up being the best thing that ever happened to you. I got held back in the fourth grade myself, twice! And look at me, man: now I drive the school bus!” – Otto

“Oh, the little tiger tries so hard. Why does he keep failing?” – Marge Simpson
“Just a little dim, I guess.” – Homer Simpson