Dead Homer Society

“Oh, the little tiger tries so hard. Why does he keep failing?” – Marge Simpson
“Just a little dim, I guess.” – Homer Simpson

“Bart!  You haven’t been paying attention to a word I said, have you?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Yes, ma’am.” – Bart Simpson
“Well then, what did I say?” – Mrs. Krabappel
“Uh . . . straighten up and fly right?” – Bart Simpson
“That was a lucky guess!” – Mrs. Krabappel

“Otto, you know I respect you.  I mean, You always let us throw stuff at cars and try to tip the bus on sharp turns.” – Bart Simpson
“Damn thing never goes over, does it?” – Otto

“Marge, could you get me another beer, please?” – Homer Simpson
“In a second, Homer, Lisa has some good news.” – Marge Simpson
“He doesn’t care, Mom.” – Lisa Simpson
“Sure I do, I just want to have a beer while I’m caring.” – Homer Simpson

“Who would’ve thought that pushing a boy into the girls’ lavatory could be such a thrill?  The screams, the humiliation, the fact that it wasn’t me!  I’ve never felt so alive!” – Martin Prince