“Oh, hello, Principal Skinner. . . . No, Bart has never been to Hong Kong, good night. . . . Hello? Tennessee State Police! . . . No, my son’s car was not crushed in Knoxville. I don’t know where to begin telling you what’s wrong with that. . . . Hello? No, Bart is not available tomorrow to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam. . . . Homer, are you laughing at me?” – Marge Simpson
“If you kids can’t keep your hands to yourself, I’m gonna turn this car around and there’ll be no Cape Canaveral for anybody! . . . That’s it! Back to Winnipeg!” – Irate Canadian Father
“I must’ve spent our last ten dollars on this Al Gore doll.” – Martin Prince
“You are hearing me talk.” – Al Gore Doll
“Ever wondered how crackers get salted?” – Kirk van Houten
“Have I! . . . Wow!” – Milhouse van Houten
“Crackers, ho!” – Salt Dog Sled Team Guy
“I’m sorry. I guess watching me isn’t any more exciting than being me.” – Homer Simpson
“We’re having the best spring break of our lives, and we don’t need you around nerding it up.” – Bart Simpson
“That job is taken.” – Milhouse van Houten
Happy 20th Anniversary to “Bart on the Road”! Original airdate 31 March, 1996.
“Well, you sure don’t look twenty-five, but your unlaminated, out-of-state driver’s license is proof enough for me.” – Knoxville Bonded Courier Service Guy
charliesweatpants.com
(The crotch really does wear out too fast.)
The Mob Has Spoken