Posts Tagged ‘Bart the Genius


Quote of the Day

“Bart, I hope you won’t bear some sort of simple minded grudge against me. I was merely trying to fend off the desecration of a school building.” – Martin Prince
“Eat my shorts.” – Bart Simpson
“Pardon?” – Martin Prince


Quote of the Day

“How ’bout ‘He’, two points. Your turn, dear.” – Marge Simpson
“How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters? Oh, wait, here’s a good one: Do.” – Homer Simpson


Quote of the Day

“What are you looking at, Bart? Are those naughty dogs back again?” – Mrs. Krabappel

Marcia Wallace would’ve been 75 today. Happy birthday! 


Quote of the Day

“Doc, this is all too much. I mean, my son a genius? How does it happen?” – Homer Simpson
“Well, genius level intelligence is usually the result of heredity and environment . . . although in some cases it’s a total mystery.” – Dr. J. Loren Pryor

Sam Simon would’ve been 62 today. Happy birthday.


Numbers Coming Up Short

Bart the Genius13

“We’ve got a stowaway, sir.” – Not Peter Lorre
“I’ll pay!  How much?” – Dream Bart
“Twice the fare from Tucson to Flagstaff minus two-thirds of the fare from Albuquerque to El Paso!” – Dream Martin

I didn’t watch last week’s Zombie Simpsons episode; I did watch this week’s, but ran out of steam long before I could write a whole post about it.  Long story short, “Cue Detective” has a meandering and incoherent story (that apparently involves alien technology that fell to Earth, but nevermind), lots of exposition to explain that story (plus whatever hapless jokes got stapled to it), and plenty of filler to take up those contractually obligated twenty minutes of airtime.  If you haven’t seen it, you aren’t missing anything.  If you have seen it, well, at least you don’t have to watch it again.

I do plan to get back to Behind Us Forever and Compare & Contrast posts, but my stupid real job has been eating all my time and energy.  Un/fortunately, there are new episodes for at least the next three weeks, so I’ll have plenty of opportunities.

Before we get to the ratings for Zombie Simpsons, we should pause for a moment to note that network teevee, which has been ailing for a long time, may now be entering serious death throes:

Networks have always banked on Premiere Week as an interval of peak sampling, but Tuesday night’s PUT (or people using television) levels were discouraging. The number of adults 18-to-49 watching primep-time programming dropped 8% versus the year-ago period and overall usage in the demograhic for the last two nights is down 10%.

But the most disconcerting PUT data concerns younger viewers, who are ditching traditional TV faster than anyone could have anticipated. TV viewing among adults 18-to-24 is now down 20% versus the first two nights of the 2014-15 season, and male usage in that age range has withered by nearly a quarter (24%). While last fall was blighted by disappearing female viewers, this year it’s the menfolk who are pulling the old Invisible Man routine. Per Nielsen, male 18-to-34 PUT levels over the last two nights are down 18%.

First of all, AdAge, Jebus, run a spell checker.  Second, if that’s the best the networks can do during premier week, before people even realize how crappy most of the shows are, you’ve got to start wondering if there will even be a premier week ten years from now.  That’s a lot of valuable spectrum that’s not serving a whole lot of people, and advertisers seem to finally be getting sick of paying big bucks to reach a shrinking and difficult to measure audience.  FOX has an option on Zombie Simpsons that goes through Season 30, I wonder if it’ll outlive its medium?

With that grave decline in overall network television audience in mind, let’s take a look at the numbers for Zombie Simpsons:

TV Ratings Sunday: ‘CSI’ Finale Up, ‘Once Upon A Time’ Down + ‘Quantico’ + ‘Last Man on Earth’ – “Every Man’s Dream” was swiftly forgotten by just 3.26 million viewers.  That is very ungood.  It took Season 26 until February to post a number lower than that, and premiers have been in the 6-8 million range the last few years, so that number is basically in freefall.  Last year’s premier, which admittedly had a football lead-in, scored 8.50 million viewers, and was 3.9rating/11share among the nuts and gum set.  This year was 1.5/5.

TV Ratings Sunday: ‘The Good Wife’ premieres lower, ‘Quantico’ holds in week 2 – “Cue Detective” had a football lead-in, and fared better than the premier, but still only had “6 million” (no decimals at the link) viewers.  Football lead-ins last year were in the seven million range this early in the year, so that’s down too; and the nuts and gum numbers are 2.6/8, also down from last year’s first football lead-in.

Two data points do not make a trend, but things are looking grim for the numbers this year.  Oh, and there’s no football lead-in this Sunday.


Quote of the Day

Bart the Genius12

“He’s a good boy now, and he’s getting better.  And sometimes, even the best sheep stray from the flock and need to be hugged extra hard.” – Marge Simpson
“That’s exactly the kind of crapola that’s lousing him up.” – Homer Simpson


Reading Digest: Making Life Imitate the Simpsons Edition

Bart the Genius11

“My turn: Kwyjibo, k, w, y, j, i, b, o.  Twenty-two points, plus triple word score, plus fifty points for using all my letters, game’s over, I’m outta here.” – Bart Simpson
“Wait a minute, you little cheater.  You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what a kwyjibo is.” – Homer Simpson
“Kwyjibo, uh, a big, dumb, balding North American ape, with no chin.” – Homer Simpson
“And a short temper.” – Marge Simpson
“I’ll show you a big dumb balding ape!” – Homer Simpson
“Uh-oh, kwyjibo on the loose!” – Bart Simpson

I put this up on Twitter this morning, but it is very much worth bringing up as often as possible.  Hasbro, the company that currently owns Scrabble, is having a Facebook contest to add a new word to the game’s official dictionary.   The leading “like”-getter at the moment is two different entries for “Kwyjibo”, the big, dumb, balding North American ape with no chin and a short temper.  I want this to happen bad enough that I actually logged into the otherwise derelict Facebook page Mad Jon set up like four years ago to promote it.  Sure it’s nice to have all those Simpsons words in the O.E.D., but what most people don’t realize is that the O.E.D. is the garbage dump of words.  Anything that gets used by more than about four people gets put in.  But Scrabble?  That’s the dictionary people actually use, and since it’s beloved of vicious word nerds, it’s much more of coup.  Plus, this raises the possibility, nay, certainty, that at some point in time, somewhere, someone will win a Scrabble game just like Bart did.

In addition to that, we’ve got several great lists this week, a very disturbing collection of images of what Homer would look like as a real person, a chance for you to win ten whole dollars for playing Tapped Out, several .gifs, the return of a couple of watch-em-all series, and lots more.  Enjoy.

Scrabble Dictionary to Gain a New Word through Crowd-Sourcing – The gauntlet has been thrown down:

That’s KWYJIBO for 22 points, plus 50 for using all the letters and triple-word score. At least that’s what Bart Simpson claimed in Episode 2 of Season 1 of The Simpsons, “Bart the Genius.” Now, this word has been nominated for addition to the official dictionary for the word game Scrabble, the game the Simpsons were playing in the episode.

Merriam-Webster’s The Official Scrabble Players Dictionary will be updated with new words for the first time in nine years and Hasbro, maker of the popular word game, is hosting a Facebook contest  (!) to allow players and fans of the game to choose one of the words to be added in a contest billed as the Scrabble Word Showdown.

Several fans of the game have nominated KWYJIBO to be added to the dictionary. Among other nominations are: EW, GIGGITY, QUESO, ZOOT

You have to use Facebook (EW, indeed), but the top two suggestions right now are Kwyjibo, and if we can get Kwyjibo in the official Scrabble dictionary, I might finally be able to beat my cousin at it.

An Interview With Ira Brooker – Fantastic:

A few years ago I started writing an inventory of the 100 greatest influences on my sense of humor. I was going call it “Why I laugh?” which is, of course, a Simpsons quote. It eventually wound up being too big and abstract of a project for me to complete, but there was no question that The Simpsons would be in the number one slot. The only possible rival would be David Letterman, but as important as Dave was to my formative years, he never permeated my daily existence to nearly the degree that The Simpsons does even two decades beyond its heyday. I don’t think I could hope to pinpoint how those first eight seasons have influenced me. At this point they’re just woven into my being. It would be like trying to figure out what kind of influence speaking English has had on me.

Much more at the link.

Round 104: Last Exit to Springfield vs. The Cartridge Family – Whoops, I missed a week on these. 

Old Money – Episode #030 – And Ash is back with the “DISCOUNT LION SAFARI!!!!”.

Cross-Blog Contest! Tapper of the Month – It’s telling that the blogs dedicated to Tapped Out are run much better than the game itself.  They’ve got a contest running where all you have to do is send in your Springfield.

Jewish Top 10s: Simpsons Cameos – Excellent list (Nimoy #1!), though two picks from Zombie Simpsons keep it from being completely kosher.  Why not Albert Brooks and Harvey Fierstein?

The Simpsons: 10 Best Mr Burns Moments – This is also a pretty good list, if for no other reason than there are a couple of decent .gifs and no Zombie Simpsons.  But for the love of all that is pageviews, you have to click and load each fucking entry.  I did, of course, but I can’t really recommend it.

Manual of Mischief review: Bart Simpson’s guide to pranks and gags – A review of a new book they put out.

Stain glass artist to come to Austria – Remember Joseph Cavalieri, the guy who did those amazing Simpsons stained glass pieces?  Well, he’s still at it and he’s headed to Austria to teach people how to do similar stuff.  Congratulations.

One Man’’s Trash Is Another Man’’s Pizza Box Art – Click through for the fan made box with an alternate universe Homer and Bart working at a pizza joint.

Realistic Homer Simpson Is Disgusting [7 Photos] – Things like this are why it’s best the show is a cartoon.  They’re really well done, but very off putting.

Grow your own… heart, limb, or organ – Excellent usage:

In a classic episode of The Simpsons, Homer, ineffectual as usual, tries to steal snacks from a pair of vending machines by reaching his arms inside, only to end up completely stuck. When confronted with the possibility that sawing his arms off might be the only solution, he asks worriedly, “They’ll grow back, right?”

GIFs de la semaine : alors on danse ! – Lots of dancing .gifs, including depressed teenagers and Bart in a wig.

Futurama – The secret behind Philip J Fry – The Brannigan-Hartman-Fry connection spelled out in pictures.

What ‘The Simpsons’ Have Taught Us About Life, Part 2 – Another cromulent list.

Random Simpsons Screencap 3/17/14 – There’s no such thing as Scotchtoberfest!

My Top 8 Movie/TV Show Based GamesHit & Run makes the list.

What if… – Heh.

Retrospective No. 35 The Simpsons Tapped Out – Somebody hates freemium almost as much as I do.  Well done.

Drunk things to do in Dutch – Scroll to the bottom for a Smarch related heh.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! – A little YouTube for everyone but the gays and the Italians.

Best TV Comedies – And finally, I get to end the way I like, with someone who agrees with us . . . Batman style:

2. The Simpsons

It’s hard to watch what this show has become. It seems The Simpsons could’ve died a hero in 2000/2001, instead of seeing itself live long enough to become the villain that it is now.

Well put.


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